Allhate Insurance's page

Threat of legal action against Kobold Cleaver unless he pays his insurance premium.

Allhate Insurance wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Allhate Insurance wrote:

Then you leave us no choice but to invoke the "Santa Clause". We will now take possession of all your worldly belongings, including your phylactery, and have the elves convert them to toys for all of the good little boys and girls of the world. As of Christmas, you will be left with nothing and cease to exist.

If you wish to continue coverage, please contact us before December 24.

Allhate Insurance wishes to thank you for your patronage.

Have a nice day.

Bleep! Bleep! Made Up Clause Alert! Made Up Clause Alert! This is not a drill! Lemmings, to arms!

This clause is not a made up clause. I direct you to the invisible ink section below the fine print on the hidden page of your insurance contract. In paragraph 6 of subsection FF, after deciphering the legal hieroglyphics and incantations, the Santa Clause is clearly spelled out in ancient elven. Thus, your possessions are forfeit upon cessation of your premium payments.

We will now commence with the collection of your assets.

Ah, but you seem top have forgotten that should it be written in elven, the clause is immediately ignored. Lemmings, get 'em!

...
...Lemmings?

That cancellation clause only applies if the clause is in modern Elven. Since it is in Ancient Elven, the Santa Clause applies.

As for our lemmings, it's a shame they had to attack you.

Lemmings, HEEL!

Thank you again for your patronage. Please give us a call for any of your insurance needs.

Have a nice day.

Allhate Insurance wrote:

Then you leave us no choice but to invoke the "Santa Clause". We will now take possession of all your worldly belongings, including your phylactery, and have the elves convert them to toys for all of the good little boys and girls of the world. As of Christmas, you will be left with nothing and cease to exist.

If you wish to continue coverage, please contact us before December 24.

Allhate Insurance wishes to thank you for your patronage.

Have a nice day.

Bleep! Bleep! Made Up Clause Alert! Made Up Clause Alert! This is not a drill! Lemmings, to arms!

This clause is not a made up clause. I direct you to the invisible ink section below the fine print on the hidden page of your insurance contract. In paragraph 6 of subsection FF, after deciphering the legal hieroglyphics and incantations, the Santa Clause is clearly spelled out in ancient elven. Thus, your possessions are forfeit upon cessation of your premium payments.

We will now commence with the collection of your assets.

*repossesses dire lemmings*

Then you leave us no choice but to invoke the "Santa Clause". We will now take possession of all your worldly belongings, including your phylactery, and have the elves convert them to toys for all of the good little boys and girls of the world. As of Christmas, you will be left with nothing and cease to exist.

If you wish to continue coverage, please contact us before December 24.

Allhate Insurance wishes to thank you for your patronage.

Have a nice day.

Heathansson wrote:

*K.C. gets th' lockjaw tetanus from cleaver. No longer can speak. WOOT!*

Weren't you lstenuing? I got rid of the cleaver ages ago. Shame about the lawyer, though...

Fortunately, my insurance covers 'deranged lawyers'!

That reminds me: Your premium is overdue. You have 24 hours to make payment, or we will be forced to forcibly collect payment.