What were the 20 oracular messages?

[Tarren Dei]

According to this article d20 was a divining device. “The polyhedron was thrown in order to choose a letter at random. One consulted the inscription to find the matching letter and read the oracle's response. There would be twenty oracular messages, each beginning with a letter of the alphabet that corresponds to one side of the dice.”

Serious and humourous responses welcome.

[Nameless]

Is this about the Roman d20 that was recently found?

If so:

"Don't mess with the senate. But if you do, make sure you have lots of knivesies."

[Dark Psion]

As I see it, yes
Ask again later
Better not tell you now
Cannot predict now
Concentrate and ask again
Don't count on it
It is certain
It is decidedly so
Most likely
My reply is no
My sources say no
Outlook good
Outlook not so good
Reply hazy, try again
Signs point to yes
Very doubtful
Without a doubt
Yes
Yes - definitely
You may rely on it

Source Magic 8 Ball

[Saurstalk]

Given the wikipedia entry, there are 10 positive, 5 noncommital, and 5 negative responses. I suspect that the breakdown of types of responses may have been configured to give the purchaser a sense of more positive than not. (Marketing.)

I'd like to know what the original polyhedron's runes implied - either to disprove my theory (i.e., the Eight ball is a rough and accurate translation) or otherwise to enlighten me.

[KaeYoss]

Probably a lot of stuff badly misplaced in time.

"Enron will not last"
"Keep Kennedy out of Dallas" (incidentally one of my favourite faux messages-in-a-bottle, too).

[Tarren Dei]

"Paris Hilton is the antichrist"

[Heathansson]

"always remember that 90% of everything is half-mental."

[Heathansson]

"Some cross the Rubicon twice daily, on their way to and from work."

[Tarren Dei]

Heathansson wrote:

"always remember that 90% of everything is half-mental."

Yogi Bearisms?

"You can see a lot just by observing."

[Tarren Dei]

"When you come to the fork in the road, take it."

[Tarren Dei]

I love it ... a d20 of oracular yogi bearisms.

"If you don't know where you're going, you'll wind up somewhere else."
"If you don't know where you're going, you might not get there."

[Heathansson]

"You better slice that pizza up into 4 pieces, cos I don't think you can eat 8."

[Heathansson]

"Those goth kids are nothin' but trouble."

[Andre Caceres]

Tarren Dei wrote:

"Paris Hilton is the antichrist"

Well thats no secret.

[hogarth]

Message #1: "I missed. This oracular die sucks; I'm getting a new one."
Message #2-#19: "I hit AC xx."
Message #20: "Finally, a critical hit!"

[Tarren Dei]

hogarth wrote:

... Message #20: "Finally, a critical hit!"

"A 'crit confirmation roll'? What's a 'crit confirmation roll'?"

[Fischkopp]

Heathansson wrote:

"always remember that 90% of everything is half-mental."

Wouldn't that mean everything is 55%-mental? hmmm...

[Cato Novus]

That's it, I need to get off my ass and create the Magic Hate-Ball™. It looks like a regular Magic 8-Ball, but all 20 messages are mean-spirited and some are downright nasty.

"Go away."
"Who are you to ask me anything?"
"I slept with your wife."
"Eat me."
"Stop shaking me!"

"Just stop talking."
"You look like ass."
"Stupid people ask me questions."
"You can still get more fat."
"Shut your pie-hole!"

"Up yours!"
"Let go of me!"
"How about I shake you?"
"I don't have time for you."
"Crushed by the ugly tree?"

"Go play in traffic."
"Hang yourself."
"I woke up for you?!"
"Find out for yourself."
"I don't care."

[KaeYoss]

Cato Novus wrote:

That's it, I need to get off my ass and create the Magic Hate-Ball™. It looks like a regular Magic 8-Ball, but all 20 messages are mean-spirited and some are downright nasty.

And in that line:

"Your Mother"

"That was the dumbest thing I ever heard. Please find a fatal disease and crawl into bed with it."

"You annoy me, go and die."

"I can only please one person per day. My quota for today is already filled. Tomorrow doesn't look good, either."

"You'll find the answer with the most powerful red dragon in the world. The secret password is 'you dragons are a bunch of sissies'"

"In order to receive the answer, hold your breath and count backwards from 10 until you hit 11."

"Come back when I have less time."

"42. Probably. Bound to fit a question one of these days."