Heathy's Saltmarsh Campaign


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Male Wild Elf Druid 16 (Shifter version, PHBII)

Elgan, back in elf form, absent-mindedly grabs Reise's arm and casts healing magic on it. He then uses the same grip to move the taller mage out of the way so he can approach the sea-elf beauty.

"'Scuze me, Don' you go an' mind dem none now. Dey's city-folk, an' dey's all bustin wit' curiosity. Ah don' t'ink dey realize dat yo needs ta git back down ta da ocean. Le's jes' git you downstairs, when ya is recover'in in da sea-water, den ya kin answer any fool questions dat ya all feels like. May I help yah?"

The wood elf's reactions seem to be quite out of the ordinary for his usual behavior of standing back and watching the rest of you interact, but his desire to assist the young lady seems genuine.

Burn a Produce flame for a CLW

Oooo, the puns! The puns!


Male Human Rogue 14
Elgan Dreadwood wrote:
Ah don' t'ink dey realize dat yo needs ta git back down ta da ocean. Le's jes' git you downstairs, when ya is recover'in in da sea-water,

"Hey! First thing I did - after I got her out of those chains - was offer to get her to water!" exclaims Beldan, feeling indignant and unappreciated. "Not my fault she likes talking to me, grumble, grumble..."


Male Human Wizard 17 (Conjuration specialist)
Elgan Dreadwood wrote:
Oooo, the puns! The puns!

At least nobody's made any waterbed jokes yet. Or referred to bed-wetting. Thankfully.


Elgan Dreadwood wrote:
Ah don' t'ink dey realize dat yo needs ta git back down ta da ocean. Le's jes' git you downstairs, when ya is recover'in in da sea-water,
Beldan Vale wrote:


"Hey! First thing I did - after I got her out of those chains - was offer to get her to water!" exclaims Beldan, feeling indignant and unappreciated. "Not my fault she likes talking to me, grumble, grumble..."

"Ken? Elgan has charm, Beldan - aw ye goot is a bonnie coopon."


"Ritty race!"


Male Human Rogue 14

" ... understand the dog better than him (grumble grumble) ... and who's this Ken guy anyway? "

Beldan stops grumbling and tries to pick up where he left off:

"Alright Miss Ocean, let's go down, I mean, let's get you wet, I mean, oh, let's just go."

It wasn't going well.


Male Human Paragon 3 /Evoker 6 (abjuration&enchantment barred) ---37,300XP

Thank you Becton and Elgan for the much needed help. I thought the arm might be getting infected and could pose an issue. I am now feeling much better.


M Halfling Barbarian 10

Gittik staggers to his feet from where he was lying next to the headless corpse of the wizard (and where he had been left unconscious by his supposed fellow party members - shortist bastards!) and rubs sand from his eyes. Slightly woozy after being caught in two illusion spells, he weaves his way around the gnoll corpses towards the sound of voices.

He peers in, his sight still pixilated with residual flashing colours, leaning on the doorpost. Picking up on the tail end of the conversation, he groans, "Hey, who she? Deaf and Blind, why Iron Rabbit Shit look at your pants? Me see nothing there."


Becton of Pelor wrote:


"Alright now, fellas...give the lass some room. Ms. Ocean, I'm a healer - as you may have guessed. Afore these lads start questioning you too much, are you in need of aid; I can create more water if you need it to keep going."

"Oh, no...that's allright. My imminent distress is averted. If I could just get down to the sea, as your elven friend suggests, that would be for the good. My nausea would go away."


Beldan Vale wrote:
Elgan Dreadwood wrote:
Ah don' t'ink dey realize dat yo needs ta git back down ta da ocean. Le's jes' git you downstairs, when ya is recover'in in da sea-water,
"Hey! First thing I did - after I got her out of those chains - was offer to get her to water!" exclaims Beldan, feeling indignant and unappreciated. "Not my fault she likes talking to me, grumble, grumble..."

"You're my brave dolphin in the midst of the maelstrom. You all are."


Elgan Dreadwood wrote:


"'Scuze me, Don' you go an' mind dem none now. Dey's city-folk, an' dey's all bustin wit' curiosity. Ah don' t'ink dey realize dat yo needs ta git back down ta da ocean. Le's jes' git you downstairs, when ya is recover'in in da sea-water, den ya kin answer any fool questions dat ya all feels like. May I help yah?"

"Thankyou, kinsman!" She takes the profferred arm. "Lead the way, if it does you well to."


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!
Riese wrote:

Thank you Becton and Elgan for the much needed help. I thought the arm might be getting infected and could pose an issue. I am now feeling much better.

Ay carumba! Wot a hypochondriac! Just kidding.


M Halfling Barbarian 10

"Hey, who she? She look evil to me, and she smell of fish! Why we just let her go, and kill everyone else? This no make sense!"

<narrows eyes suspiciously>

"Maybe she witch...."

<draws weapons>


"I'm no witch!"
She gasps, taken aback.
"I...I just want to go back to the sea. Please. I just want to go home."
She implores you with almond shaped eyes.
"I mean you no harm. Oh,...this will teach me. 'Ocean, you're never going up into the airworld again.'"


M Halfling Barbarian 10

"YOU NO STARE AT ME! YOU NO TRY TO TRICK ME WITH SPELL!"

<shakes weapons threateningly>


Male Human Rogue 14

"Gittik, calm down man," says Beldan, holding up his hands. "She's not a witch, and she's not evil. We're helping her, alright?"


Male Human Wizard 17 (Conjuration specialist)

"Relax, Gittik. You're just feeling weird after the wizard knocked you out with his light spell. You'll be fine in a minute, as will she once we get her back to the sea."

"Jane would be very disappointed in you if she saw you now."


M Halfling Barbarian 10

Gittk scowls. "You no talk about Jane, try to trick me. How you know she no evil? She just give you big goo-goo eyes and you all want to get jiggy, brains in pants?"

He glares at the sea elf. "Ok, but she try anything, I kill her."


"Who's Jane?"
She smiles, yet her forehead is crinkled some.
"Little one,...he sprayed you with the colors too, didn't he.
I know how you feel right now..."

compare/contrast
Gittik/Samwise's first espying of the elf Ocean/Legolas:
(Ralph Bakshi's Lord of the Rings animated...)

"HEE HEE HEE! An elf!!! An elf!!! I've never seen an elf! HEE HEE HEE!!!!!!"


Male Human Paragon 3 /Evoker 6 (abjuration&enchantment barred) ---37,300XP
dungeonmaster heathy wrote:
Riese wrote:

Thank you Becton and Elgan for the much needed help. I thought the arm might be getting infected and could pose an issue. I am now feeling much better.

Ay carumba! Wot a hypochondriac! Just kidding.

He's not much for tolerating pain.....

I keep seeing her name and thinking of Billy Ocean....
I wanna be your, Lover...lover...loverboy!
Link Wild video, 'Course maybe Carribean Queen is more in line with this chick...


M Halfling Barbarian 10
Ocean wrote:

"Who's Jane?"

She smiles, yet her forehead is crinkled some.
"Little one,...he sprayed you with the colors too, didn't he.
I know how you feel right now..."

"You no talk about Jane either. She no smell of fish like you."

When the going gets tough/The tough get going./When the going gets rough/The tough get rough.


Billy Ocean. That brings back unpleasant memories.


"Ah hink aam gonnae gang check oan th' rum."


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

Caribbean Queen....now we're sharing th' same dream...and two hearts that beat as one; no more love on the run.
No fair, making the dm snort at work.
I was thinking Amy Gertz in the Lost Boys; "what's your name?"
"Star." "Oh, your parents were hippies too."


Harvak searches those gnolls for treasure and what clan/tribe they came from...


"I'll carry you down to sea and let you go back to your home."


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

These gnolls have total 2 greataxes, 2 composite longbow +1 str rated damage, 60 arrows (20 of which are silver,) and an assorted 240 g.p. in coin and tradeable goods.
They each have a clay primeval Venus sculpture/cromagnon corpulent Venus earth goddess clay fetish, with a hyena head.
This fetish means they are of the tribe of Slarkna, a Yeenoghu priestess and alpha female gnoll in the Dreadwood. She leads a gnoll heresy cult that insists Yeenoghu is female.


dungeonmaster heathy wrote:


They each have a clay primeval Venus sculpture/cromagnon corpulent Venus earth goddess clay fetish, with a hyena head.
This fetish means they are of the tribe of Slarkna, a Yeenoghu priestess and alpha female gnoll in the Dreadwood. She leads a gnoll heresy cult that insists Yeenoghu is female.

ROTFLMAO!-classic


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

heh heh...
in nature, hyenas have a matriarchal power structue. I think gnolls should too.


dungeonmaster heathy wrote:

heh heh...

in nature, hyenas have a matriarchal power structue. I think gnolls should too.

Yeenoghu is female


Male Human Paragon 3 /Evoker 6 (abjuration&enchantment barred) ---37,300XP

Searching the Wizard.
Damn, the site is slow today! At least it ain't crashed, knock on wood.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

He's got a spellbook that Stiggy did not destroy by axing him up. (psyke)

Spellbook
10 scrolls
a little pinky ring
a masterwork dagger
and 480 g.p. worth of coin and tradable valuables miscellaneous.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!
Riese wrote:

Searching the Wizard.

Damn, the site is slow today! At least it ain't crashed, knock on wood.

Oh, and if a post is long and you don't want to retype it, copy it for pasting before you hit submit...


Harvak takes a longbow from one of the gnolls he'll also take 10 silver arrows. and 20 reg.

Are axes all gnoll etched with epitahs and stuff...


Male Human Paragon 3 /Evoker 6 (abjuration&enchantment barred) ---37,300XP

Ini Ezekeal Lo'Geuy! Detect magic, scanning all the found stuff. Will concentrate to determine auras. You can roll for that if necessary.


Male Human Wizard 17 (Conjuration specialist)

Nice haul!

As Harvak and Gittik escort Ocean down to the boat cave, Altai wanders into the room the wizard and his gnoll buddies came out of.

Anything interesting there? Also, Altai won't let Harvak torch the house until he's figured out (and thoroughly looted) the alchemist's lab. Too much technical equipment there!


Altai Iscarni wrote:

Anything interesting there? Also, Altai won't let Harvak torch the house until he's figured out (and thoroughly looted) the alchemist's lab. Too much technical equipment there!

Harvak has learned some hard lessons here at the old Alchemist mansion, his rashness has quelled a little and he knows to ask or check with everyone before making hasty choices concerning doors, the heads of his enemies and wizard labs "touch nothing Harvak won't".

He does wanna torch the place as a Torch song ride off back to Saltmarsh with the mansion blazing at our backs HAHAHA

Cue The Conan Drum music..


Male Wild Elf Druid 16 (Shifter version, PHBII)

belated posting, work, whut ya gonna do?

"Easy dere chere!" Elgan tells the obviously overreacting Halfling. Ya'all keep choppin' first, den axin' questions later, an' your gonna get some nice friendly person hurt!"

Elgan reoffers her his arm, and (with a lot of company it seems!) escorts miss Ocean to the cave while others search the bodies (and presumably the rest of the house) for loot!

While walking her to the caves,...

"Scuze meh dere miss Ocean, but whereabouts do you live? I mean, I knows yeh live in da sea, but whereabouts is yer home? Ah'd heard about our water-cousins, but ah never met one befo'e. An no one tol' meh dey'd be so,... ah, we're almos' dere!" He finishes hastily.

Looks like a NICE haul! These guys were doing pretty well for themselves before we came along and shut them down!


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!
Harvak wrote:

Harvak takes a longbow from one of the gnolls he'll also take 10 silver arrows. and 20 reg.

Are axes all gnoll etched with epitahs and stuff...

Axes are all tarnished; servicable but unexceptional.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!
Riese wrote:
Ini Ezekeal Lo'Geuy! Detect magic, scanning all the found stuff. Will concentrate to determine auras. You can roll for that if necessary.

I'll have to post the answer to this stuff from home in about 6-7 hours, as this requires me looking through rules books.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!
Altai Iscarni wrote:

Nice haul!

As Harvak and Gittik escort Ocean down to the boat cave, Altai wanders into the room the wizard and his gnoll buddies came out of.

Anything interesting there? Also, Altai won't let Harvak torch the house until he's figured out (and thoroughly looted) the alchemist's lab. Too much technical equipment there!

The rest of the place is pretty sparse. Just a dilapidated building with ruined furniture and such really.

The books from the zombie rat room are all moldy and destroyed...


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!
Elgan Dreadwood wrote:


"Scuze meh dere miss Ocean, but whereabouts do you live? I mean, I knows yeh live in da sea, but whereabouts is yer home? Ah'd heard about our water-cousins, but ah never met one befo'e. An no one tol' meh dey'd be so,... ah, we're almos' dere!" He finishes hastily.

"We range the Azure Sea mainly, of late. We don't really settle and build cities,....well my folk don't. There are some that do, further south. It would be hard for me to explain how it's to be found.

But my folk travel around a lot, following the schools, visiting here and there."


M Halfling Barbarian 10

Gittik lurks behind the elven couple, running his thumb across his scimitar blade, making sure she doesn't ensorcel Elgan.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

you're killin me, dude.lol!


Male Wild Elf Druid 16 (Shifter version, PHBII)

ME too! Must,... resist,... urge,... to kick Gittick, and/or say 'Get lost dude, yer crahmpin mah stahyle' Lol!'

Sparing a wary glance at the following Gittik,... and his scimitar, Elgan assists Ocean down the stairs.

"Dat soun's fun. Mah people tend to roam a lot too. Tho' we do have a nice-sahze permanent settlement. At leas', I THAWT it wuz nice-sahze, till I seen whut deez heah town-folk kin build! Ah swear, yuh ain't seen nuthin' till ya seen the size o' sum' o' dese buildin's! Dey jes' keep buildin' 'em biggeh an' biggah. Almos' like dey wuz tryin' ta compensate fer sumthin',..." He says perfectly innocent and straight-faced.

He looks at Ocean, "So, yer people follers dah fish schools,... Say, Whut do yeh all do fer fun? Ah means, afteh all deh wurk is dun? We have big bonfires an' dances, an' tries ta see who kin brew dah best beeah, Er tel' the best stories." He ducks his head. It is hard to tell through his tan, but your pretty sure he's blushing.

"Ah means, yeh seem real nice-lahke. Ah jes' don' t'ink dat owah peples kin be that dif'ren'. 'Cept, fer, yuh know, dah wateh an' all." He says smoothly, glancing at her legs, and then glancing swiftly away.

Yep. He's blushing.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

lol--I got nothing to cramp, so I can just watch and enjoy...;)


Harvak also takes the gnoll/Yeenoghu unholy symbols things.


Tenser wrote:
Billy Ocean. That brings back unpleasant memories.

I have alway Hatedthat song


Male Human Cleric 4

Been unable to get on today - site wouldn't respond for some reason.

Becton watches the parade of "supporters" take the young lady back to the sea. He shakes his head at the display, and utters a simple, "Pelor be with you, elven maid," as they continue.

He'll check the room she was kept in for any further equipment or clues. Otherwise, somebody's got to retrieve their prisoners for transport - so he'll proceed to drag them upstairs one by one. Hopefully there's a good tree or post to tie them to while the rest of the crew finishes their sweep of the mansion.


Male Human Wizard 17 (Conjuration specialist)

There are two prisoners - the halfling and the odd green-skinned samurai. Or did I miss some?

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