Wow that lady is cool.
Wow, man.
I wonder what the little guy's parents were thinking watching humans mess with the baby.
And I haven't seen a zoo where people could reach into a tiger cage for about 20 years.
Last time I was at Dublin Zoo, the Sumatran Tigers were up against the glass "gettin it on" hardcore, all while glaring at the people on the other side. The young mother and child who came around the corner were a study in embarrassment;
"mummy, what are they doing"?
"erm- they're playing my dear- now come along and lets see the penguins".
"but"
"get in the stroller"!
Don't think we've ever laughed so hard.
On the plus side, the zookeeper was delighted to hear of the porno show the big cats put on, since they've got a breeding program going on.
Looks they it's been successful too.
No, she would fine. She wasn't a whiny, drunk thug with a sling shot talking smack. She has what tigers lack, an opposable thumb for a finger sweep and CPR training obviously put to good use. I think she is cool as h3ll. I would buy her a beer and a ninja cookie.
No, she would fine. She wasn't a whiny, drunk thug with a sling shot talking smack. She has what tigers lack, an opposable thumb for a finger sweep and CPR training obviously put to good use. I think she is cool as h3ll. I would buy her a beer and a ninja cookie.
Brave woman, I think she probably has enough ninja cookies already.
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No, she would fine. She wasn't a whiny, drunk thug with a sling shot talking smack. She has what tigers lack, an opposable thumb for a finger sweep and CPR training obviously put to good use. I think she is cool as h3ll. I would buy her a beer and a ninja cookie.
Yeah, don't get me wrong, I'm glad the cub is ok. But tigers are not pets and she could have been risking herself and maybe her kid too. The article doesn't give details about the layout and how she was able to grab the cub, and avoid the adults - maybe it wasn't a risk at all. But tigers can kill people quite easily, as they found out in San Francisco - maybe she was quick-witted and brave, maybe reckess. Without the details it is hard to be sure.
Was that Cat People where the guys gets him arm ripped off by a panther?
She has what tigers lack, an opposable thumb for a finger sweep and CPR training obviously put to good use.
We don't do blind finger sweeps anymore. Or put another way, Tigers = a go for CPR training.
Just so you know, I blame all of you for this. There isn’t much to do while bathing / shaving, so my mind wanders:
Great cat saves life, gives life.
By Mike Beeler
Feb. 1, 2008
Royal Oak, MI – Area teen, Heratio Oberstadt, is resting comfortably this evening, listed in stable condition by doctors at the Detroit Medical Center, thanks to an audacious programme and the heroic efforts of Babau, a rare seven hundred and twenty-five kilogram Brazalian Liger.
Eyewitnesses report Babau, observing the teen gasping for air after consuming a hotdog-on-a-stick far too rapidly, leapt a three and a half meter fence to come to the aid of the young man. Landing atop Mr. Oberstadt in an artfully executed abdominal thrust maneuver, Babau was able to expel the obstruction without delay, allowing the teen to return much needed oxygen to his lungs. Tragically, an unnamed off duty Detroit Metropolitan police officer mistakenly believed Babau was completing a proscribed pseudoephedrine purchase, and discharged his concealed firearm seventeen times in the general direction of the gallant Liger. As veterinarians pronounced babau dead on the scene, the officer exclaimed, “It just went off,” while wiping down the department issued weapon. Police officials report their initial investigations are pointing towards simple equipment malfunction, and have gone on record with, “These things happen.” and “Want to make something of it?”
How was Babau able to save the young man’s life? Rogan Kan, the zoo’s executive director, attributes the life saving episode to none other than the new “Emergency Medical Tigers” curriculum. Recently a series of costly litigations filed against Detroit’s first Black-Irish Mayor, Kwanza Fitzpatrick, have forced radical expenditure reductions for critical city services, particularly emergency medical responders, sanitation workers, and a loss of subsidiaries formerly provided to the Detroit Zoo. “Necessity truly is the mother of invention,” Mr. Kan exclaimed. Sources close to the zoo report this is actually the second phase of a programme designed to relieve beleaguered City of Detroit medical responders and return vital funding to the Detroit Zoo. Mr. Kan noted, “Following closely after the triumphs of our much lauded, “Chimps with defibrillators,” we felt it was the proper moment to undertake teaching such fundamental techniques as the “Kiss of Life” and the “Heimlich Maneuver” to our population of Great Cats. The aforementioned primates gained much acclaim for their affable bedside manner, though the programme was forced to scale back operations following investigations into the Midwest blackout of 2003.
Meanwhile, Heratio’s doctors report that the incredible pressures applied by Babau’s landing have permanently crushed his lumbar vertebrae, leaving him paraplegic and with chronic priapism. DMC medical officials recount that he should have no issues leading a long, healthy, and slightly more active lifestyle going forward. When reached for comment, Mr. Oberstadt and his fiancé jubilantly replied, “This is the best thing that could have ever happened,” and that the couple “feels truly blessed.”
Mr. Kan went on record as saying, “We believe this was an essential success in every meaning of the word. Obviously we’ll need to make a few adjustments to the animal’s techniques and perhaps look into special uniforms to allow people to easily distinguish them as lifesavers, but I think in no time we’ll be able to proceed with Phase Three; teaching polar bears, left homeless after the foreclosure of the Belle Isle Aquarium, to retrieve cadavers from the Rouge River.”
City officials look forward to the day when residents of Dearborn Heights, formerly living in terror of the populations of wild dogs which roam the night, will gleefully hurl their elderly at the specially trained canines.
ROFL. That's priceless Mike.
Now get back over to the FART and start writin'.