When it is raining, it is because he is gaming.
His d20 has never rolled a one.
His character sheets do not wrinkle.
He once punched E Gary Gygax in the mouth.That's right. You heard me.
He is left-handed. And right-handed, but only in character.
Even if he rolled a 1 he'd still only take half damage.
He once knew a call was a wrong , even though the player wouldn't admit it.
If you're unfamiliar with his campaign, he'll teach it's history.
The gnomes often question him, just because they find him interesting.
When he conducts combat , you get the feeling that your right there in the throes of battle!.top of the climax, where it belongs...where there is no turning back...
Ok. Two questions:
1) What are you smoking?
and
2) Did you bring enough to share with the class?
;-)
...
WTF???
he gets all of his supplements for free.
He has every D&D miniature even ones that have yet to be made.
He killed Vin Diesel's 13th character and spit in his eye.
His birth proved intelligent design.
He was the man who thought it would be funny to breed bugs with bears. Was it even legal? Bearly.
He once threw away a fist sized dice carved out of diamond, just because it was chafing his style.
Death saves versus him.
His campaign notes are considered holy texts over 2/3rds of the globe.
He played the title character of the Quest in Quest For Fire.
To him flumphs do not exist.
He put the giant gems in the statues eyes just so he could come back to fight his way in again to steal them.
He once caught Nicolas Logue going through his garbage looking for adventure notes.
He built the Temple of Elemental evil, its dungeon and the nodes out of lego and to scale for miniatures.
He came up with Gen con in idle conversation with a doorman.
He is proficient in all skills, can cast any arcane or divine magic as a spell-like ability, has a good BAB and no weak saves--and no one calls him broken.
Splooorrrtch
Splooorrrtch
"oh..no..now I'm gonna...Splooorrrtch!" "ooh there goes me lunch".
You had to pay him by the hour to dm, it wasn't cheap but well worth it.
He was the first Dm to run a Adventure Path. A story which has beome legend in the gaming world. Of the six players whom played that (adventure path) only two remain living and they have both said that the story surpassed Lord of the Rings on all fronts.
The Vault of the Drow is behind the picture in his den.
He has thaco tattooed on his butt and 'I heart Pett' on his biceps.
He once DM a game in the grotto at the playboy mansion for Hef and tweleve bunnies.
His skills in Balance,Concentration, Craft(cooking),Diplomancy, Escape ,Gather Information,Handle Animal,Heal,Intimidate,knowledge(women)knowledge(the game)knowledge(music)Ride, Sense Motive,Search,Sleight of Hand, Spot,Survival,Swim,tumble and Use rope are maxed out.