Season 2 is out on dvd and I just got it. Haven't had a chance to check out the special features yet, but this is really head and shoulders above the first season.
"Number four: a melon heated in the microwave?!"
"Ha! Ha! Very creative, Billy! I'm sure your mother must be proud!"
"Go ahead! Have your fun! I didn't know what you meant by 'guilty pleasure'."
"Fun is number five, which states simply,"Dustbuster with corner attachment"
"THAT sounds dangerous!"
"I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION!!"
"Funny... I expected you to do your 'Killer Hands' thing."
"So did I."
BTW- The commentaries are HI-Larious. In that it's basically just the two guys chatting with the show going on in the background. Nothing to do with the show what-so-ever.
This show rules.
IGNORE ME!
SOMEBODY LEFT A BABY!
"It sometimes gets very hot in the box... my pop made."
"It's always cold in Syberia."
"Hank! the Indians are back! There's a teepee in your shorts!"
"I seduce the Leslie Golem with my 25 Charisma points..."
"Would you look at her? This is pretty cold, Doc. Even for you."
"What's THAT supposed to mean? I've seen you rip out a man's eyeballs and make him dance using his optic nerves."
"Yeah, but at least I never broke his heart."
"You can't know that."
"I know I was mixed up before, but now I'm groovy. I'm going ahead with the mission! Lock and load!"
"That's not a gun, Hank."
"What ever! I know you worked day and night in your lab without food or sleep to isolate the 'gay gene'. And I know you, Pop. If it weren't for the hearings and the protestors, you would have found it and destroyed it. To keep things like THIS from happening! And Brock, do you really want to be that big jerk's (pardon my french) that big jerk's bodyguard-in-law?!"
"No, Hank! He's got a whole army in there, you'll be killed!"
"Then I'll see you in heck!"
"oh, tenderonie!"
"Are you gonna bad-touch me?"
"Dean! Have you been shooting dope into your scrotum? You can tell me! I'm hip!"
Ok I just started watching these cuz beeler mentioned it now I can't stop watching them, do I need help?
Brock: So, no women, no children?
Hunter: No women, no children. Them's the rules. Separates us from the baddies.
Brock: Well what if she's an enemy agent?
Hunter: Nuh u
Brock: An assassin?
Hunter: Nnnooo.
Brock: A double-agent assassin who just killed the president.
Hunter: No sir, non-lethal takedown only. President's not the president anyway, you know that.
Brock: Oh. Hey how 'bout you know, a uh, a lady dracula?
Hunter: You mean... le vampire? Nosferatu.
Brock: I guess.
Hunter: Undead. Not technically a woman in that regard, so you got to beef there. Also, fictitious. Do not eat that, it's C4!!
[Brock looks surprised as he was about to eat a loaf of bread]
Brock: Woman!
The Monarch: "Do you know why you're here? YOU'RE HERE CAUSE YOU DONE F*+@ED UP ONE TOO MANY TIMES!! AND THIS IS WHERE YOU'RE HEADED IF YOU KEEP UP LIKE YOU BEEN DOIN'! YOU THINK YOU'RE HOT S@+* IN A CHAMPAGNE GLASS, WHEN YOU'RE REALLY JUST COLD DIARRHEA IN A DIXIE CUP!! I know what you're thinking, you think,"Ah, I'll just get me a costume and start beating on the neighbourhood kids" and before you know it, you've got a jet shaped like a skull with lazer beams on the front!!"
Kid: "This is totally Gay!"
The Monarch: "WHAT?! You think this is gay, do you? Is that what you said, you scrawny piece of s&%&?! Oh, this isn't gay. But King Gorilla over there is and I bet he can't wait to break off a piece of his **** in your ***! You! Get up! I SAID GET THE F*$# UP! What's your name?"
Dean: "Dean Ven--"
The Monarch: "YOUR NAME IS B*@&!!! And I own you! And when I'm done having sex with every orifice God drilled in your slender frame... KING GORILLA! You got a cigarrette? There! I just sold you for a cigarrette! And I don't even smoke! Wait...you're Dean f@#&ing Venture!"
The Monarch: "This is all wrong! You're not supposed to be here! This place is full of animals..no, not King Gorilla. I mean this place will chew you up and spit you out! ...Not Mecha-Mouth, Hank. You're the f&$$ing Venture Brothers! You've had your little adventure, now go the hell home!"
Hank: "F+&~ THAT S#$*!"
Dean: "Henry Allen Venture! You're turning into an extra bad person! Do you know how many baby angels you killed just by SAYING that?!"
Hank: "Oh, by Glory! You're right! We went searching for freedom and it landed us in jail!"
Brock: You coulda told me that Sasquatch was a... a dude.
Summers: Huh? What, you couldn't tell?
Brock: Not until I had to [shudders] shave him.
Summers: What are you, shy? Sasquatch doesn't have anything you
haven't seen before.
Brock: Sasquatch is something I haven't seen before!!
Brock: You coulda told me that Sasquatch was a... a dude.
Summers: Huh? What, you couldn't tell?
Brock: Not until I had to [shudders] shave him.
Summers: What are you, shy? Sasquatch doesn't have anything you
haven't seen before.Brock: Sasquatch is something I haven't seen before!!
I was just about to post that one.... lol.
Next week, on the Venture Brothers!
Hank: [shivering] I can't make it. I wanna die. I want the caveman to eat me.
Brock: Hang on, Hank! Cut him open! We're gonna put the boy in there!!
[Brock #2 nods and slices open a dead Edgar Allan Poe]
Brock #2: Gah, and I thought he smelled bad... on the outside.
Brock: DOOOOOOOOOOOOC
Some of the funniest stuff in this show just doesn't go down as a quote.
Like Doctor Ventures dream where he's flying naked and has an umbilicus connected to his fathers penis...
Brock sticking the gang banger's own finger up his ass.
"You did that with his own finger?"
F%%* this show is funny.
Seriously, today on the One train: I saw a Native American Blackula Hunter. He had the leather coat, the poet shirt and a braid instead of an afro. Instead of two swords, he had two leather shoulder bags. He was a Blackula Hunter. I know it.
At the Venture yard sale, The Monarch goes to the bathroom.
Dr GF: How'd it go in there.
The Monarch: Oh not well. It was all sound and fury signifying nothing. We have to find a real toilet!
"DOC, you got a sign over there that says,"Laser Death-Ray Bargain Bin"!"
"Oh, that's just some old crap my dad left behind. Probably doesn't even work and if something does happen I'm sure you and your little Ska Band can take care of it."
The Monarch: Have you destroyed the giant cocoon headquarters?
Fat Henchman: Not yet.
The Monarch: Have you sent the charred remains of Wonder-boy to his beloved Captain Sunshine?
Fat Henchman: Yes.
The Monarch: Rewound and returned the directors cut of Working Girl!
Skinny Henchman: We tried, but-
The Monarch: Unleashed the herpes-smeared sex-bots among the
traitorous members of the Guild?
Fat Henchman: Yeah.
The Monarch: Filled Phantom Limb's garage with clingy static-charged styrofoam packing peanuts?
Skinny Henchman: No.
The Monarch: Sent apology letters to each of my sponsored Ugandan foster-children?
Fat Henchman: Check!
The Monarch: Have you... killed the Venture brothers?
"I can't believe that whore stole my Stanza!"
"I can't believe that whore made it over the Lake of Acid!"
-----
"Are you telling me that you don't want to fly into some chick's window with, like, a three day beard and a jet pack?!"
"And she'll be dating one of the good guys, and I'll be like,'I'll spare his life, but only for you....sugar pants..."
"And then you'll be having sex! SEX!!"
-----------
"Why is the top of that guy's head black?"
"African-American, Dean. The top of that guy's head is African-American."
"Well, why is the top of that guy's head African-American?"
"Because Brock caved in the original one and this is the only one that fit."
-------------
"Look, I just got a big order in and I need...lets say a gross of corpses and I figured, you being you, we could...go out and you could make me some...dead people?"
"No."
"HELP ME GET DEAD PEOPLE!!"