Return of the dead maggotty possum! (scary music plays)


Off-Topic Discussions


DEAD, MAGGOTY POSSUM:
Cost:-- Dmg(S): 1d6* Dmg(M): 1d8* Critical: 18-20/x3 Weight: 5lb. Type: Bludgeoning

ROTTEN TOMATOES/APPLES(5):
Cost:-- Dmg(S)1d3 * Dmg(M):1d4* Critical:x2 Weight:1lb.
Type:Bludgeoning

*DC 15 or be nauseated for 1 round

Dead, maggtty possum stats:
--2(footnote)

1(footnote) who CARES what a dead, maggotty possums stats are?!

Liberty's Edge

What you need is a dead maggoty possum, with animate dead cast on it, so it can bite when you thrash punks with it.
Now that's sweet.


Heathansson wrote:

What you need is a dead maggoty possum, with animate dead cast on it, so it can bite when you thrash punks with it.

Now that's sweet.

nah. not ferocious enough.


oops! i mean, 1(footnote)! not 2(footnote)! sorry!

Liberty's Edge

Dude. Possums aint that ferocious. They're kinda cowardly.

Paizo Employee Director of Narrative

Heathansson wrote:
Dude. Possums aint that ferocious. They're kinda cowardly.

They've evolved to avoid danger. When threatened they hiss and sway while bubbling saliva out their mouths so other animals think they are sick. They have a natural resistance to rabies however.

Their whole existence is to appear helpless and weak, but they are North America's only natural marsupial.


Heathansson wrote:
Dude. Possums aint that ferocious. They're kinda cowardly.

hmmm... maybe, but we're talking here about the 'DEAD, MAGGOTTY possum'


Exotic weapon-- Can of Beans
Type: Bludgeoning Dmg (small)-1d3 Dmg (medium)-1d4+1 Range 20 feet Weight 1/2 pound

Special Attributes:
- Grenade-like: If thrown, a can of beans bursts on the target, covering them in bean juice, bacon bits and/or barbecue sauce. Target must make DC 15 reflex save to avoid being blinded for 1d4 rounds and a DC 10 Fortitude save to avoid being nauseated.

-Summon Hobos: If a character is subjected to the grenade effect of the Can of Beans, there is a cumulative 10% chance per hour of attracting 1d6 murderous and/or crazy hobos. This persists until the character spends a minimum of half an hour cleaning themselves off.

Silver Crusade

Your entries are formatted incorrectly. Try this:

1 cup water
2 tsp salt
3 rotten tomatoes, mashed into paste
1/4 cup artichoke hearts
1/4 cup human hearts
1 dead, maggotty possum

1. In a non-stick skillet over low heat, mix water, salt, and hearts (both varieties). Heat until tender.

2. Rip the possum out of Heathansson's mouth. You know he couldn't keep his hands off it.

3. Dress the possum with the sauce mixture and enjoy.

Liberty's Edge

But I kilt it fair'n'square with my teeth and everything.

Go twang yerr harp, twiddlywings!


CR 1/2
Dog Dew Trap:
you first must make a Search check to SEE the dog dew(DC 15), then a Reflex save to AVOID the dog dew(DC 15), then a Fortitude save to RESIST the dog dew(DC 15). Failure on all of these indicates that you dont see it, cant avoid it, and cant resist it. Therefore you will be sickened for 1d6 rounds (well, actually, you will BE sick, if you know wat i mean. sorry, bad joke)

CR 20
Well Disguised Dog Dew Trap
Same as normal, save save DCs are as follows: Search 40, Reflex 40, and Fortitude 40, and its 10d8 minutes.

Liberty's Edge

Pig dew is worse, but the search dc is easier.


Cow dew is the worst, though.

Liberty's Edge

Naah.....pig dew. Nothing in the world worse.


Heathansson wrote:
Naah.....pig dew. Nothing in the world worse.

That's ridiculous. Pig dew cannot be worse, no way.

care for some pie? Cow pie, to be specific.


Traditional method: for preparing of Hakarl

Take one large shark, gut and discard the innards, the cartilage. Take the head, cut flesh into large pieces.Wash in running water to get all slime and blood off. Dig a large hole in coarse gravel, preferably down by the sea and far from the nearest inhabited house - this is to make sure the smell doesn't bother anybody. Put in the shark pieces and head, and press them well together. It's best to do this when the weather is fairly warm (but not hot), as it hastens the curing process. Cover with more gravel and put heavy rocks on top to press down. Leave for 6-7 weeks (in summer) to 2-3 months (in winter). During this time, fluid will drain from the shark head and flesh, and putrefication will set in.

When the shark is soft and smells like ammonia, remove from the gravel, wash, and hang in a drying shack. This is a shack or shed with plenty of holes to let the wind in, but enough shade to prevent the sun from shining directly on the shark. Let it hang until it is firm and fairly dry: 2-4 months. Warm, windy and dry weather will hasten the process, while cold, damp and still weather will delay it.

Slice off the brown crust, cut the whitish flesh into small pieces and serve, preferably with a shot of ice-cold brennivín.

The modern method for curing shark relies on putting it into a large container with a drainage hole, and letting it cure as it does when buried in gravel.

I know you wanted this Kobold Cleaver enjoy!


Ugh. Are you sure isn't the preparation ceremony for a Spawn of Kyuss?


Can they be used as Grenades?


Or as a pole arm? At the end of a ten foot pole?

Liberty's Edge

Whoah... Never thought this thread would be resurrected from the archives...


We do what we must.


and what we must we do.


American opossums are skanky looking... Ours on the otherhand range from cute (Striped Possum) to super cute (the Sugar Glider)


American opossums are natures pinatas.


The 8th Dwarf wrote:
American opossums are skanky looking... Ours on the otherhand range from cute (Striped Possum) to super cute (the Sugar Glider)

Swap you :D

Scarab Sages

Thread Necromancy!!!!

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