What would be a satisfactory set of basic rules for good gaming etiquette in your opinion or more importantly, how to tell people firmly but politely to switch off their stupid phones at the games table and wait till we break for answering text messages and what have you?
In the new year I hope to start a new campaign and could do with some advice. The DM of the current group I game in is a nice person and all, we have a blast and the guys are a good bunch but after seeing how my gaming buddies behave at times (texting is the main thing) I wish to avoid falling into some of the same pitfalls and lay down the law right away as some of these phone addicts are going to be in my group!
There’s nothing worse than when DM is describing something or trying to build tension then all of a sudden someone’s phone emits a loud obnoxious ring tone!
The DM has told us a few time that he wants phones turned off and its not on (and 50% of the group comply) but the same two guys always ends up (conveniently?) forgetting and saying sorry after an interruption, one guy has wife/kids and says he has to keep it on just in case he’s needed but it is still annoying as hell even when its only on vibrate.
Any tactful ways I can reasonably put across my views and enforce a code of conduct when I take over as DM without making them think “The new DM is nazi and makes us feel like school children?”
Yeah...
"Turn off the phone... Or DIE!"
Stewie
I have a person who just joined my group that can't even put his phone down for 30 seconds without picking it up and playing with it. I have already decided that from now on, cell phones go on the little shelf next to the door, if they ring fine, if not they stay there for the entire session.
How rude!
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I have a person who just joined my group that can't even put his phone down for 30 seconds without picking it up and playing with it. I have already decided that from now on, cell phones go on the little shelf next to the door, if they ring fine, if not they stay there for the entire session.
That sounds like a good system. It is a game, after all, and telling players they cannot be contacted by the outside world is a bit extreme.
I keep my phone silenced while I'm gaming, and I usually hit "ignore" when it rings, but sometimes it's something that really does need my attention.
More like shooting another gunfighter in the back instead of in a face to face quick draw.
monte cook did an article on 'table rules' in dungeon a while back that should be a good starting point. don't remember which issue though....
I have a person who just joined my group that can't even put his phone down for 30 seconds without picking it up and playing with it. I have already decided that from now on, cell phones go on the little shelf next to the door, if they ring fine, if not they stay there for the entire session.That sounds like a good system. It is a game, after all, and telling players they cannot be contacted by the outside world is a bit extreme.
I keep my phone silenced while I'm gaming, and I usually hit "ignore" when it rings, but sometimes it's something that really does need my attention.
I should also mention that I will be having them put the phones on vibrate.
More like shooting another gunfighter in the back instead of in a face to face quick draw.Yeah, but if you knew some of these guys...
I suppose you are right. I was involed in a game of laser tag with some military types way back when, and they liked to do things like grapple you from behind while his buddy shoots you multiple times. Made me get all sniper on them for that one.
monte cook did an article on 'table rules' in dungeon a while back that should be a good starting point. don't remember which issue though....
If someone could find out that number it would be cool, I could read it out to them to make my point and it wont seem like I'm being a dick. :)
You could use the cellphone thing.
Have a friend who's game call the characters up ingame on their cellphones, to roleplay "voices in their head," maleficent sendings from the evil one...That sorta thing.
Thats a cool idea but I dont wanna encourage them!
monte cook did an article on 'table rules' in dungeon a while back that should be a good starting point. don't remember which issue though....If someone could find out that number it would be cool, I could read it out to them to make my point and it wont seem like I'm being a dick. :)
I would simply just state what I think should NOT go on at the table, and then if there are any problems, take the offenders aside after the game and have a non-aggressive conversation on why you think they are interrupting the mood of your game with their antics.
You could use the cellphone thing.
Have a friend who's game call the characters up ingame on their cellphones, to roleplay "voices in their head," maleficent sendings from the evil one...That sorta thing.
I really love this idea.
Me and my buds at work were gonna play paintballs one time, never got around to it.
But we were gonna get all the opposing teams' cell numbers and call them in the game to flush their positions.
In my 20th birthday we made a little pine battle, it was deep in the woods and in near total darkness and the buggers were winning. But then my girlfriend had a genius idea: she started calling the bastards.
One by one, their phones rang and lit, serving as beacon for our hatred and our pines. One feller actually tried to answer his phone and immidiatly got his face smashed by a hail of pines and other less savory objects...Boy, it was fun.
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I think the texting needs to go, but not the cell phones. My wife calls me once every few weeks usually to ask if one of the kids got whatever medicine that they are needing at the time, whether its just motrin/tylenol for teething or an antibiotic or antihistamine. For me to just shut off my phone and leave her to guess would be wrong. For my DM to TELL me to let my wife guess is liable to get him beat down. I could see if I was taking 3 calls a night but my wife knows to only interrupt if necessary. You could stress that social calls are unacceptable but what about the dude who is on-call for his job once or twice a month during D&D night and still wants to game. I would never turn off my only link to find out that my uncle just went in the hospital and may not make it. Or that my daughter fell down the steps and is on her way to the hospital, and I would find it offensive if someone felt it was their right to tell me to turn off my phone.
my 2
FH
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I can dig that brah. But a lot of people are out the door with the cellphones. I've had people on the cash register not paying attention to me ringing up my goods, then blowing a gasket like I was trying to rip them off. I've had one guy trying to ask me for directions somewhere, then talking on his cellphone, then give them, "hold on, hold on," then listen to them for 30 seconds, then raise the "wait a second" finger to me,...like I give a crap if you can't find I30? Why don't you ask your cellphone, you pocky git? Leave me alone. I'm bad, and you're straining my civilizing lessons right now. Please don't test me; I'm a bystander, let me be one.
I can dig, one needs to stay incommunicato with one's family.
I just wish people could learn some manners, or at least not involve me somehow.
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heeheeheeheehee...
Bad enough that, customers can do what they want (or so they say), it makes me mad when the kook on the cash register is on the damn cell phone.
But, I've been walking around Target, numerous times, and hear vulgarity, and it's the employees, and they look at me like, "yeah, I said it." Like I don't care or anything, but I'd get fired.
I simply explained to my players that I put a helluva lot of work into adventure prep, and out of respect for the mood the DM is trying to create, please tell your significant others that YOU will call THEM at the regularly scheduled breaks (so that everyone, including the DM, can do their calls at the same time). Phones are set to vibrate (in case of emergency), and text messaging during the game is forbidden. My players (who are also long time friends) are cool with that... especially since we only play a handful of evenings every 6 months or so (boooooh!). I even turn the ringer on my land line off in the room where we play.
I would absolutely refuse to DM for players who can't stop text messaging during the game. If you aren't here to play, then get the hell out, there are others who deserve to play without distraction...
Can you tell that I don't own a cell phone and will resist owning one for as long as I can? :-)
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I was like that, until I got kids. You know the disaster fantasy, your wife with two babies by the side of the road with a flat... I actually just got my first cellphone 5 months ago. Boss would ask me if I had a cell, I'd say no, he'd give me a weird look, I'd say, " I'm serious, but you're cool boss, so if I had a cell I'd give you the number..."
The other night I had a couple people over to play. We didn't get any playing done until they left because they we're either on the cell or outside smoking all night.
Our only game since August was tonight and every five minutes someone called my friend to wish him a happy birthday. And it wasn't like he was thrilled to answer the phone: he sighed every time he reached for it. As if his voicemail didn't work. I hate cell phones. Beyond an emergency or health related situation, it's just really rude. Especially if I've been waiting MONTHS to play.
Notice those people who's cell phones start ringing ten seconds after exiting the subway station (It's always the same ones! Day after day!!).
They answer "Hello... Yeah, I just left the subway... I'm getting on the bus... I should be home in fifteen minutes..."
Why does that person at the other end keep calling, everyday, to get told that the cell phone owner is always fifteen minutes away. Do they keep calling until the call gets through (when the owner leaves the subway)? Don't they have lives?
Me, I don't own a cell phone... And I get home when I get home.
Morons.
Ultradan
Cel phones do not ring at game. Ever. It's rude and disrespectful to the DM and the other players. Everybody that would call during game time knows that it's game time, and to only call if it's an emergency.
My work leash (my cel phone) has to be turned on, but it's set to vibrate during game.
People who drive, yakkin' on their cel phone, drive me batty. Grr! Especially when it's bad weather out. >:(
Honestly, I don't think you can insist that players turn their phones off, or that they don't answer them if the need arises. Sometimes, it just needs to be done.
What should be the case, though, is that no-one should be making a call, or sending text messages during the game. (In fact, I would go so far as to say the phones should be put away in a pocket/bag/shelf so that there's no need to mess with them during the game.) That's just plain rude, and inexcusable.
Director of Narrative
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Man, modern life is tough....what ever did we do ten years ago?
All sarcasm aside, I haven't had a landline for 6-7 years and I still treat a phone like it was back then. Sometimes I don't answer it, sometimes I do. If I don't recognise the number I probably won't. That's what voicemail/machine is for. Multiple calls means emergency, not one call from my wife in the middle of the climax of the storyline to ask me to pick up soda, cheese or smokes on the way home. Of course stop texting at the table. You might as well be talking football.
Jeeze, maybe that Message Board Ettiquitte (-2 sp) thread should include just ettiquitte (-2sp).
Man, modern life is tough....what ever did we do ten years ago?
All sarcasm aside, I haven't had a landline for 6-7 years and I still treat a phone like it was back then. Sometimes I don't answer it, sometimes I do. If I don't recognise the number I probably won't. That's what voicemail/machine is for. Multiple calls means emergency...
This is similar to my system - except that I forget mine half the time so people stop expecting me to be connected and reachable 24 hors a day. They leave a message and I get it within a day or so. If there is something really important going on I'll check my message machine on a fairly regular basis.
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Honestly, I don't think you can insist that players turn their phones off, or that they don't answer them if the need arises. Sometimes, it just needs to be done.
What should be the case, though, is that no-one should be making a call, or sending text messages during the game. (In fact, I would go so far as to say the phones should be put away in a pocket/bag/shelf so that there's no need to mess with them during the game.) That's just plain rude, and inexcusable.
I whole-heartedly agree. While I will not turn off my phone, I also have NEVER placed a call to anyone at a game. IF I get a call (once a month, max) it IS my wife asking about something we didn't have time to outline before I left for D&D that pertains to the kids' health and welfare or is a family emergency. The call lasts all of 30 seconds and, unless someone needs to go to the hospital, that is it. Anyone sitting there taking up game time socializing with friends/girlfriends/wives should be spoken to about how it is affecting the game.
I have 1 car in my family, (by choice) I need to stay in contact, it is irresponsible for me to just shutdown all outside contact and leave my family stranded to fend for themselves (also seems selfish, "It's MY night out!").Making a rule that cellphone use and texting is unacceptable is fine as long as you consider that there are exceptions to the rule and outline that to the players. Everyone who has posted on this thread has outlined what they think is fair (which corresponds to their own usage, mostly) and thinks that anything more then they do is unacceptable. You have to make a judgement call but remember this is a GAME and a social event, run it like a classroom or militant order and you will probably drive some people away or make them slightly resentful.
Just my 2
again
FH
If a cell phone is used reasonably, there shouldn't be a problem. Emergency calls, or just about anything family related, is really just fine. It may be annoying when the game is interrupted so some player's spouse can remind them to pick up something on the way home, but it's not that big of a deal and should be allowed.
Social calls, on the other hand, are just plain rude. One of my gaming buddies used to get a call from whatever girl he had wrapped around himself at the moment, and would go on and on for upwards of 15 minutes, completely ignoring us and the rest of the game, chatting and laughing up a storm about things that weren't relevant to what was going on at all and could easily be worked out later. Finally, he'd hang up and give a lame "sorry," only for it to happen again five minutes later. This might occur three times in a game night. The general consensus among the other players was to wait for him, since he was also a friend outside of gaming, but no amount of talking could convince him to turn the thing off.
There was another player who did some of the same, but the calls were less frequent and shorter when they did occur.
That's just plain asenine, and I will never allow that kind of behavior at my table again. Check the number on the phone. If it's work, family, or something that's likely to be important, by all means, take the call. But if it's Jim, and he's most likely going to yak about football, or Stacy, and she's just going to flirt on the phone with you, don't take the damned call.
Seriously, cell phones are a mixed blessing. The technology itself is wonderful, but people in general are too stupid to realize that just because they can walk around on the thing 24/7, doesn't mean they have to. You didn't before you got the phone, and everything was just fine. A&+#$+&s.
One of my gaming buddies used to get a call from whatever girl he had wrapped around himself at the moment, and would go on and on for upwards of 15 minutes, completely ignoring us and the rest of the game, chatting and laughing up a storm about things that weren't relevant to what was going on at all and could easily be worked out later. Finally, he'd hang up and give a lame "sorry," only for it to happen again five minutes later. This might occur three times in a game night. The general consensus among the other players was to wait for him, since he was also a friend outside of gaming, but no amount of talking could convince him to turn the thing off.
This is exactly our problem, one of our players is a man whore! The other phone using player is a guy with wife/kids so I understand his need to keep his phone on for emergencies but she (the wife) keeps calling/texting him every five minutes to check up on him, if he dosnet take the call right away she throws a strop and he sits looking worried for the rest of the night; he jokes about it but I feel kind of bad for him, can only imagine the hassle it causes at home later. His wife seems to resent the game and has made comments like “Oh your going off to play with your little toys and leave me alone all night, again!” even though he only plays with us once a month (or even less). The DM has invited her around and even asked her if she’d like to join in but that wasn’t an option and she can’t get a baby sitter. (Although, she somehow manages to find a babysitter in order to go out clubbing every other weekend!) Normally she is cool and she hangs out with us when we all go bowling or to the movies or whatever, it’s just the gaming she hates.
Can you tell that I don't own a cell phone and will resist owning one for as long as I can? :-)
You and me both! Down with the brain irradiators!
It's funny how endemic this seems to be. I can't stand it at all. I understand, in an emergency, having to take a call, especially if it is a family matter and there is no way around it. Social calls, however, are disruptive, rude and make me as DM feel that my hard work is for naught. I realize in many ways I am simply restating previous poster's woes, but I want to support them and add my own tarnished two coppers. I appreciate some of the suggestions posited, and may well require cell phones to be off the table at all times, and on vibrate or silence mode. I never let my own cell phone near the table wether I am hosting or playing in another DM's campaign. I barely even pick up my home phone while gaming, as most of the people I talk to on a regular basis are right there at the table with me (sad huh?) except my fiancee, who is usually in the office within shouting distance.
I strongly encourage players with cell phones to put them on vibrate and only use them during breaks. The only time I have actually booted someone from a game was because they were on their phone for the whole time I was trying to explain something and then got belligerent because they didn't understand what was going on.
I strongly equate what happens around a gaming table to going ot a movie or show, and I would get extremely PO'd if someone started talking to their girlfriend while I was trying to enjoy a movie, let alone one that I spent weeks making.
My, such venom! But all kidding aside, cell phones ringing in the middle of a game is an annoyance, but to me, it is just that- an annoyance. If it happens once or twice it's okay, anything beyond that may mean that something is well and truly wrong and that the person in question should have handled that before the game started. In one of the games I'm in, most of the players (and the DM) are in well established relationships, with two people unattached and one in a rather new (less than a year) relationship. The people who are attached rarely take their cell phone calls unless it's an emergency, the people who are unattached don't have anyone calling them unless it's related to their job(which is an understable emergency), and the guy in the new relationship...well, he answers his phone any time it rings. Noone has a problem with this though- in fact we rib him once he gets back. I don't know. Maybe it's the fact that this is a weekly game and we can all catch up next week(as opposed to my other game, where it's next MONTH) has everyone a little more understanding to the cell phone thing. Or because it's damn funny to laugh at the embarrasing ring tone the new guy has for his girlfriend, and to enjoy the red face he has when he comes back into the room. Either way, mine's on vibrate all the time.
This is similar to my system - except that I forget mine half the time so people stop expecting me to be connected and reachable 24 hors a day. They leave a message and I get it within a day or so. If there is something really important going on I'll check my message machine on a fairly regular basis.
I'm pretty much the same. I have a cell phone but I don't carry it everywhere and it might have run out of power or it might be buried in the bottom of the nag and so muffled I don't hear when it rings...people have started to get surprised if I answer the first call.
Then at some point I pick up the phone and see that *whoever* has called and then I just call back. Or read the SMS they have left.I dislike answering machines.
That's awesome. You guys can drink outta my canteen.
I never drink... wine.
alright, my turn...
all i have is a cell phone, and, perhaps unsurprisingly, most of the people who call me are in the game. however, i do have a friend that goes through times where when shes ready to talk, she needs to, or an opportunity is missed. so with her, any call could be essentially an emergency. i tend to ignore most other calls during games, knowing that i can get back to just about anyone else without issue. granted, im also the veteran of the group and understand that if i miss info, i can either be filled in later, or can go without (allowing all the new players to know something i dont for a change). i also dont hang around in the room with everyone else and detract from the experience for everyone else, regardless of who called me.
as for making calls, yeah... unless you REALLY need to get ahold of someone, there is no reason to make a phone call during a game. and if you REALLY need to get ahold of someone, why didnt you do that before you went to the game?
as to text messaging... im used to reading books while playing, especially during combat, so i dont see a problem with texting during games, unless its taking up your time in combat/rp/whatever. again, this feeling probably has something to do with my knowledge of the game (thus, able to slack a little without losing track of whats going on) and probably shouldnt be done by relatively new players to the game.
i dunno, i guess its just how i feel about it. mostly, i really feel for the posters who have said that the phone user stayed in the room, disrupting play, because its rude to expect the game to stop just for you to talk on the phone.
tog