Iä! Banjulhu ftaghn!
Erich Zahn was not a violinist...now it all makes sense...
Ia ia!!
I am a strict Banjo Fundamentalist.
|
I seek to usurp Banjo's place in the God's heirarchy and start The Cult of Fake Healer. Sure, we can cure you! Just pay your bill on time!
FH who is FH
Blasphemy! Beware infidel, lest the power of all mighty Banjo smite thee. Yea, thou shalt be Julie unto his Punch! With strings shall he bind thee, that your fate shall be his to command! And his deadly muppet minions shall hound thee for all eternity!
|
I seek to usurp Banjo's place in the God's heirarchy and start The Cult of Fake Healer. Sure, we can cure you! Just pay your bill on time!
FH who is FH
My followers, the heathens, shalt gepummelen ye, anon, and forthwith, forsooth! 'Ponst yon infidel, anon! Fake Healin' Ernest Aingley wannabe @#$*yotch!
I seek to usurp Banjo's place in the God's heirarchy and start The Cult of Fake Healer. Sure, we can cure you! Just pay your bill on time!
FH who is FH
JIHAD!!!! All true followers of Banjo I call upon you to bring down this charlatan, usurper, Fake Healer!!!
I declare all true followers of Banjo to strike down all those who would spread the blasphemy of this usurper cult of a charlatan fake healer. True followers of Banjo stand firm in your faith in the fundemental rightousness of Banjo.
May Banjo, he who has one hand in the rear, Strike the blasphemous followers of the charlatan fake healer from game tables across the world
I wish I knew of the Banjo religion befor I got in on the whole king Togar wagon. ALL HAIL KING TOGAR!
I'm an ex-Banjoist. My parents were fundamentalist Banjoists - made me wear a hand puppet every Sunday and attend bard school - and it really soured me to the whole religious experience.
|
JIHAD!!!! All true followers of Banjo I call upon you to bring down this charlatan, usurper, Fake Healer!!!
I declare all true followers of Banjo to strike down all those who would spread the blasphemy of this usurper cult of a charlatan fake healer......
Ummm, of course I'm a charlatan, kinda comes with the FAKE part of Fake Healer. If your dying on a stretcher I'll try to save your life but if you can't afford my service, I will let you die. The true power comes of masquerading as a branch of the Banjo Cult, siphoning off the "believers", and building up a group of she..ep er followers, until true power lies within my grasp! THEN I SHALL BECOME THE NEW CELESTIAL PUPPETEER, PULLER OF THE STRINGS OF FATE!!! WOE UNTO THINE WHO OPPOSE MY REIGN, FOR THEY SHALL BE LAIN LOW WITH MY UNHOLY WRATH AND SUBJECT TO AN ETERNITY OF FONGING!!!!!!! MUUUUHAAAHAAAHHHOOOOOOFOOONNGGGGINNNNGG TTTTHEE IIIINNNNFIDDDELLLSHHHHAAAAHEEEEEGGGGOOOAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!
FH
Puppeteer of Fate.
King Togar, ALL HAIL KING TOGAR! Will crush the hethins that are Banjo worshipers. King Togar, ALL HAIL KING TOGAR! Will smite Banjo and his followers pillage your corps and eat your babys!
I'm an ex-Banjoist. My parents were fundamentalist Banjoists - made me wear a hand puppet every Sunday and attend bard school - and it really soured me to the whole religious experience.
Your parents are rightous folk. Why have you turned from the path of the rightous hand puppet?
PLEASE!!!! FOR YOUR SOUL!!!RETURN TO THY PARENTS TEACHINGS..,BANJO LOVES YOU!!!
I'm an ex-Banjoist. My parents were fundamentalist Banjoists - made me wear a hand puppet every Sunday and attend bard school - and it really soured me to the whole religious experience.
your parents are rightous folks. WHy have you turned from them? WHy have you forsaken the sacred one with hand up his bum?
PLEASE FOR YOUR SOUL..., RETURN TO THE RIGHTOUS PATH OF THY PARENTS..., AND PLACE THY HAND WITHIN THE PUPPET!!!!
BANJO LOVES YOU!!!!
...Ummm, of course I'm a charlatan, kinda comes with the FAKE part of Fake Healer. ...,
He conffessess.. Down with the charlatan, this Fake Healer. He confessess his blasphemy. Be weary of this usurper low his blasphemous words.
THEN I SHALL BECOME THE NEW CELESTIAL PUPPETEER, PULLER OF THE STRINGS OF FATE!!! WOE UNTO THINE WHO OPPOSE MY REIGN, FOR THEY SHALL BE LAIN LOW WITH MY UNHOLY WRATH AND SUBJECT TO AN ETERNITY OF FONGING!!!!!!! MUUUUHAAAHAAAHHHOOOOOOFOOONNGGGGINNNNGG TTTTHEE IIIINNNNFIDDDELLLSHHHHAAAAHEEEEEGGGGOOOAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!
FH
Puppeteer of Fate.
Fonging did you mention fonging.., hmmmmm.
|
|
AND PLACE THY HAND WITHIN THE PUPPET!!!!
Gavgoyle opens up his hymnal and begins to sing...
"Put your hand inside the puppet head
Put your and inside the puppet he-e-ad
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside
Put your hand inside the puppet head!
Memo to myself: Do the dumb things I gotta do,
Touch the puppet head!"
TMBG 3:18
|
|
From the Book of the Severed Strings...
Lo, as the end-times approached I beheld the Prophets of Banjo the Terrible.
First came a wooden rider, upon a wooden horse. Authority was given unto him to smite the liars of the world. Their noses would be mutilated, and crickets would torment them with their endless chirping.
Then came the second, a freckled, black-and-white rider, upon a silent, clown-like horse. At his coming all the world would be leeched of color, and the elders of the earth would be trapped in their own pasts.
And last came the most terrible, a rider in red, upon a red horse. Power was given unto him to smite the minds of the children with his squeaky, child-like voice and tickle-me laughter, that they would be reduced to babbling fools.
And stagelight fell upon the earth.
And the moon became as Kermit-green.
And the sea became as Milk.
And a voice cried "C is for Cookie"....
|
|
Arise my army of Pretenders. Fong the Banjites, fong them savagely and with much anger!!! If one Banjite remains un-fonged then we shall doubly fong the unfongable ones!!!! To fong I say, to fong for the glory of The Fake Ones!!! Behold, how the tide of kinda-sorta-not-really-light fongs them!! All power is ours my fellow Fongers of the Fake, our awesomenessitude is ...um... awesome to view!!! Join The Fake Ones or prepare for brutal, nasty, slimy fonging to be done unto thineself!!
FH (do I have any divine ranks yet?)
|
|
FH (do I have any divine ranks yet?)
The Fongery Domain
Deities: Fake Healer; Fong Kong FakeyPowers:You fong any banjoite at +1 caster level. Additionally, anyone misspelling rogue as 'rouge' allows you to rage as a barbarian of your cleric level.
lvl 1)fong light wounds
lvl 2)fongness 15' radius
lvl 3)fong moderate wounds
lvl 4)detect fongery
lvl 5)fong resistence
lvl 6)fonging circle
lvl 7)Bigby's fonging extremity
lvl 8)fongstrike
lvl 9)fong dead
|
|
Now that I know that Keith Baker is posting on these message boards, I'm curious to see what his answer would be. So how about it Keith, what part of the Church of Banjo do you see yourself in? Orthodox? Reformed? Or the fear-inducing Cult of Banjulhu?
And while I'm thinking about it, we have yet to hear from the fine staff members of Paizo. Well Erik Mona and Company, what about you guys?
Spineless from the start, sucked into the part
circus comes to town, you play the lead clown
Please, please
spreading his disease, living by his story
Knees, knees
falling to your knees, suffer for his glory
You will You will You will You will
Time for lust, time for lie
time to kiss your life goodbye
Send me money, send me green
Heaven you will meet
Make your contribution
and you'll get a better seat
Bow to Leper Messiah
Marvel at his tricks, need your Sunday fix
blind devotion came, rotting your brain
chain chain
Join the endless chain
Taken by this leper
Fame, Fame
Infection is the game, stinking drunk with power
We see We see We see We see
Time for lust, time for lie
time to kiss your life goodbye
Send me money, send me green
Heaven you will meet
Make your contribution
and you'll get a better seat
Bow to Leper Messiah
Bow to Leper Messiah
Witchery, weakening
sees the sheep are gathering
set the trap, hypnotize
now you follow
Time for lust, time for lie
time to kiss your life goodbye
Send me money, send me green
Heaven you will meet
Make your contribution
and you'll get a better seat
Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lieeeeeeeeeee
|
|
Heathanson is one of The Heralds of the Fake now! My might has reached a new high where all True Gods shall quake at the approach of The Fake Ones. We shall feast upon the True Gods lies. Prepare, for our day is dawning! Revel in deceit! Draw into our bosoms the ones who are false from all the Pantheon. Those who remain true shall be fonged!!!!
Only in the Fake do ye see the truth.
FH the Godly
Can I be the demigoddess of snack foods? Behold the sacred nachos and cheetos? :-P
|
|
Demi-gods of Snackfood, Nascar, and Fishing.....check, check, and check!
All are welcome to the Fake Fold! We must infiltrate more religions to subvert the faithful and siphon more power unto our cause.
Remember, it's the eyes that bring you down, tell a little truth with many lies. Its the only way I've found. From the book of Dio, Demi-god of Rainbows.
FH
Aberzombie: Demigod of The Celluloid Necromantic Arts (pretty fancy, huh!)
If Ultradan will join I shall bestow the power and position of Demigod of Ale, Mounties, and the words "eh" and "hoser". You won't get an offer like that from Bingo or Banjo or whatever that guy's name is;>
FH
Meep....wait since I responded first make ME the Demi God of Hosers!
And I shall spread your message in the middle east (where everyone is so tolerant of all faiths and no religious conflicts exist whatsoever!)...ok on second thoughts any of the sarcasm..or event he oblivious domains will do.Long live Fake Healer!!
So how about it Keith, what part of the Church of Banjo do you see yourself in? Orthodox? Reformed? Or the fear-inducing Cult of Banjulhu?
I only just saw this thread, but I'm Banjulhu all the way. Of course, as this picture shows, I may not survive long enough to join the faithful...
Because of the storm at sea the banjo ship
will approach an unknown port.
Notwithstanding the signs of the palm branches,
afterwards there is death and pillage. Good advice comes too late.
Norway and Dacia and the British Isle
Will be vexed by the united banjos:
The Roman chief sprung from Gallic blood
And his forces hurled back into the forests.