I was gonna make a querry, but I don't want to without giving precise information so I'm righting up the adventure first. Now I run into a different problem, I usually include plenty of undead. I don't want the adventure to seem like a rip off of AoW, so could I get some hints on what types of monsters you guys wouldn't mind seeing in an adventure? Of coarse there is no garuntee that the querry will even be excepted, let alone the adventure published, but I can't be scorned for trying.
Creative Director
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I was gonna make a querry, but I don't want to without giving precise information so I'm righting up the adventure first. Now I run into a different problem, I usually include plenty of undead. I don't want the adventure to seem like a rip off of AoW, so could I get some hints on what types of monsters you guys wouldn't mind seeing in an adventure? Of coarse there is no garuntee that the querry will even be excepted, let alone the adventure published, but I can't be scorned for trying.
With Age of Worms drawing to a close and all our adventure slots filled for the next several months, by the time an adventure accepted today sees print, it will have been quite some time since Age of Worms came to a close. SO: Undead-themed adventures aren't on any particular blacklist.
As for a query, we don't need precise information. Often, an adventure changes between querry and manuscript; we don't hold our authors to their exact queries as a result. Unless you're writing up your adventure anyway for your home campaign or just for fun, I really, REALLY advise you send in a query before taking the time to write the adventure itself.
I'm going to step in here and be the jerk who says things you don't want to hear for a second. While James is being too polite to say so, you really want to watch out for your spelling and grammar. There are more errors in this post than sentences. Slip-ups like theses are likely to put the editors in the sort of mood that isn't conducive to getting a query accepted. They force the reader to do a mental double-take that keeps your prose from reading cleanly.
To wit:
...so I'm righting up the adventure first.
writing up the adventure first.
Righting up the adventure would be a new idiom that probably would mean something like "correcting the adventure where it had gone wrong".Now I run into a different problem, I usually include plenty of undead.
These two sentences should be joined by a semicolon, not a comma.
Two related sentences go together; Like this.Sequential ones with 'and' get joined by a comma, and so do ones with 'but'.
Of coarse there is no garuntee that the querry will even be excepted...
'Coarse' means rough or unfinished; 'Of course' is the idiom you want here.
'Garuntee' is just a basic misspelling. So is 'querry'.'Excepted' means to make an exception for. 'Accepted' means to accept. I think you meant the latter, though the former could make sense with a bit of strain.
P.S. For my fellow grammar nazis who are getting hives from my refusal to adhere to American Standard quote/period interacation: I'm doing that one on purpose. I can't stand slavish movement of periods inside quotes where they wouldn't have belonged before.
Slip-ups like theses
Man, I hate when I slip up and write a thesis.
Just kidding, all around. Someone else's errors are always easier to spot than your own errors.
Truly, good language skills go a long way toward getting yourself taken seriously. I've been toying with sending in a submission of my own, but I wouldn't dare let it leave my desk without quadruple checking it as well as getting someone else to check it over completely for mistakes.
I'm wishing you the absolute best of luck, Aramil, and the same to all others who regularly send their submissions in.
I love this magazine and am highly impressed with the healthy amount of help and support I see on these boards for people who submit!
Thanks James, and thank you baudot for correcting me. These message boards offer no spell check feature. I will do my best to watch out for, and correct my mistakes (I think I just made a mistake there aswell). My schools didn't do a very good job teaching grammar. I can't even remember when it was taught... I believe that was the wrong spelling. I will send a querry as soon as I've figured out more than just the title; which might have already been used. I don't know. I've... nevermind; I probably shouldn't share more here.
Good luck with the query - it's a nerve-wracking experience. I've been tinkering around with a few ideas myself, but they need to be fleshed out before I submit them.
The thing to remember about Dungeon is that there are only so many slots per year for an adventure - it's /very/ steep competition.
I understand the extremely slim chances of being accepted; which is next to none. But I will continue sending in queries (or however it is spelled) and writting adventures. The way I see it, by the time one is finnaly accepted I'll have my own little library of adventures; most of which I'll probably have put up on the web after they've been rejected a few times.
Well, my query has been sent. Now all that's left to do is sit and wait...and I'm gonna start the adventure. It's looking like a good one to me.
Good job! Now don't do what I did when I first started sending in proposals. Get to work on another one. It could be that the ed's just recieved six proposals all of them with the same setting as yers or bad guy or something and you might get shot down. Its too long to wait to hear if you are on the right track. Write write write. Oh yeah, don't take it personal if you do get shot down..and don't get discouraged. You might have the right idea at the right time. Do it!
Good work on getting the proposal in. As Heinlein said (and Gaiman often quotes him as having said) being a writer is a simple, two-step process. First, you must START WRITING. Second, you must FINISH WHAT YOU START. Getting that proposal is what passes for step one in these parts and it's up to the editors to give you the go ahead to start on step two.
Thanks for taking the corrections with good humor. I used to be hideously terrible at spelling and grammar myself, but I was given enough reasons to practice at them, this magazine being one of those reasons. One of the most useful things for me was just to make regular use of a spell checker, and pay attention to the errors it pointed out. Of course, Evilturnip has not only caught my own screw-up, but given the best advice: have a friend look over your submissions before sending them in. Fresh eyes catch errors authors miss.
Everyone who writes needs a good editor; cardinal rule; you cannot sucessfully edit yourself; but of course you can check your grammar and spelling. For posts like these I don't usually bother as these are close, informal messages.
I often wonder about these people with the title Editor. Are they really classically trained editors, like I am with a degree in professional writing and an emphasis on editing; or are they just some journalist who likes to write who applied and accepted the position. Maybe, just for fun, I will take a look at the current Dragon magazine and give it a level 3 or level 4 edit and see what I come up in my examination.
Actually, I was quite impressed that the Managing Editor reads these boards, but of course they are players too and it was very true that the original post a gross number of errors that would be sent back to the writer for rewrite on an actual document.
What's involved with being a classically trained editor? Do you have to walk up and down stairs while balancing a copy of the Chicago Manual of Style on your head? Memorize Strunk & White by chapter and verse?
More importantly, what's a level 3 edit? How does it differ from a level 4 edit, other than by one hit die?
Would someone here care to go over my queries and adventures (if the queries are excepted) before I send them in? I don't really know anyone else who could look them over and understand them.
More importantly, what's a level 3 edit? How does it differ from a level 4 edit, other than by one hit die?At very least, the good save should go up, and it will get a stat increase.
well, it would take a long time to explain; put very simply; a level one edit is grammar and sentence structure; a level two paragraph structure and inquiry word hoard, verb use, checking redundancy or dead wood, word use and communication ease with audience; level 3 is orientation of a particular script; researching data contained therein for accuracy; are the paragraphs in the write order;tone and inflection, is the theme of the article presented well and in a flowing manner; how does the eye track over the page; and a whole lot of other stuff. Level 4 is a complete inquiry into the whole document layout and presentation as well as a lot of other stuff; best to read your style manual instead of putting it on your head. If you want to know all the details of editing, I suggest you take some advanced English courses in editing. For example, neither Strunk and White or the Chicago Manual of Style tell you the 12 basic sentence structures; what they are; and there strength and weaknesses.
After reading the current dragon magazine with and editorial eye; I found a great many errors that should have been addressed and corrected, enough that I think that the editorial response to the person who started this tread should have been kinder in tone and more encouraging.
More importantly, what's a level 3 edit? How does it differ from a level 4 edit, other than by one hit die?At very least, the good save should go up, and it will get a stat increase.well, it would take a long time to explain; put very simply; a level one edit is grammar and sentence structure; a level two paragraph structure and inquiry word hoard, verb use, checking redundancy or dead wood, word use and communication ease with audience; level 3 is orientation of a particular script; researching data contained therein for accuracy; are the paragraphs in the write order;tone and inflection, is the theme of the article presented well and in a flowing manner; how does the eye track over the page; and a whole lot of other stuff. Level 4 is a complete inquiry into the whole document layout and presentation as well as a lot of other stuff; best to read your style manual instead of putting it on your head. If you want to know all the details of editing, I suggest you take some advanced English courses in editing. For example, neither Strunk and White or the Chicago Manual of Style tell you the 12 basic sentence structures; what they are; and there strength and weaknesses.
After reading the current dragon magazine with and editorial eye; I found a great many errors that should have been addressed and corrected, enough that I think that the editorial response to the person who started this tread should have been kinder in tone and more encouraging.
hmm... something about glass houses comes to mind, lol
Baudot - I agree wholeheartedly. This has always been a pet peeve of mine, and if I could change one thing about the English language, it would be the relationship of other punctuation to quotation marks - it's always seemed more logical to me to write:
Apparently, I'm "just not her type".
Than:
Apparently, I'm "just not her type."
Not only does it seem to imply that the punctuation came with the quote, it just doesn't make as much sense... in a mathematical equation with nested clauses, you work them one at a time, from the inside out. You'd think that sentences would be constructed the same way, but that's what we get for using a living, evolving language, as opposed to an artificial construct. Until I'm declared supreme lord of the English language (vote Sutter in '07!), we'd all best obey the conventions.
-James S.
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Creative Director
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I often wonder about these people with the title Editor. Are they really classically trained editors, like I am with a degree in professional writing and an emphasis on editing; or are they just some journalist who likes to write who applied and accepted the position. Maybe, just for fun, I will take a look at the current Dragon magazine and give it a level 3 or level 4 edit and see what I come up in my examination.
Actually, I was quite impressed that the Managing Editor reads these boards, but of course they are players too and it was very true that the original post a gross number of errors that would be sent back to the writer for rewrite on an actual document.
All of the editors here at Paizo read these boards, since they're one of the primary ways we can communicate with our readers.
For those interested in taking a stab at becoming a professional RPG editor, there's more to the job than just being "classically trained." A huge part of the job is not just language construction but rules knowledge. In effect, the perfect editor for a D&D magazine is not only a classically trained editor, but a rules-lawyer as well. These two qualities rarely exist in the same person, but I think that we've managed to catch most of them and put them to work here at Paizo nonetheless.
As for messageboard posts... I tend to look at them without the "editor's eye." I certainly make my fair share of errors on posts, so I don't expect anyone else to have perfect posts. In query letters, though, good writing skills are a definate plus.
After reading the current dragon magazine with and editorial eye; I found a great many errors that should have been addressed and corrected, enough that I think that the editorial response to the person who started this tread should have been kinder in tone and more encouraging.
It was not an editor of the magazine who corrected Amaril, but just another reader. Me. The editors have been nothing but polite in this discussion, and undeserving of the aspersions you're casting.
For my part, I hope Amaril does take my remarks without discouragement.
with 'an editorial eye'
not 'and editorial eye'
but i only edit doctoral dissertations for historical theologians and nobody reads them darn things anyways.
(note grammatical sarcasm)
Baudot, my turn to correct you. My name is Aramil, not Amaril. I know there is an Amaril on these boards, aswell, and I am used to having my name misspelled (as I think that was, it doesn't look right).
Baudot, my turn to correct you. My name is Aramil, not Amaril. I know there is an Amaril on these boards, aswell, and I am used to having my name misspelled (as I think that was, it doesn't look right).
Whoops. Please accept my apologies.
Not a problem, apology accepted.
Well, this one is a no go. I'm gonna post it here, asking for critique from the other readers. I'm gonna send in my next query (which I already have typed up) this coming Monday at the latest. By the way, this query was typed in an e-mail that has no spelling/grammar check function. I did some minor editing between the query and here, but nothing that should make a difference.
Title:
Weeping Dawn
Plot Summary:
"Weeping Dawn" is a Dungeons and Dragons adventure for 10th level characters (this is bound to change) that can be easily adapted to fit into any campaign. It takes place in the small town of Toznee (you will see that this town has a keep, it is the central town for the small government of the area); nestled between The Darkwood Forest and The Copperfoil Mountains. While this adventure is based in areas found in my own world, it can be easily modified to fit any campaign world. The PCs are awakened by a high-pitched scream (assume they all succeed at Listen checks). They find a woman sobbing and only able to say that "they took my daughter". The woman faces and points to the southwest, towards the keep and an old, abandoned prison. If this is not enough they are soon approached by a representative of the town who tells them how twice a week for the past month people have been disappearing from their homes, taken just before dawn to the old prison. The representative asks for there assistance, and tells them they will be rewarded with magic items totaling 5,000 GP. He also tells them that several troops have already gone down, and only one person has returned. They were able to get no information from him as he was insane and he was sent away to Nazareth (or another big city, such as Greyhawk, Baldur's Gate, or Waterdeep) for help. The PCs also have a chance to get the deed to the old prison. Inside the prison, which actually connects to a cave that opens up further to the west of Toznee, the PCs face ghouls, vampire spawn, Spawn of Kyuss, and a level 5 paladin/level 5 blackguard/level 3 cleric of Vecna. After reading the leaders journal the PCs confirm that the group was in a fact a cult of Vecna and that they were kidnapping the people for a massive blood sacrifice. After the sacrifice the bodies were to be used to create undead. The journal also hints that there are other cults along the mountain range are doing the same thing.
Major Foes:
Important enemies in this adventure include a Neutral Evil Paladin 5/Blackguard 5/Cleric of Vecna 3 male human vampire accompanied by two ghouls and a vampire spawn, a Chaotic Neutral Fighter 7/Rogue 5 male half-elf/half-human, and a Chaotic Neutral crazed Commoner 9/Rogue 3 male human. There will also be a Neutral Evil Fighter 4/Cleric of Vecna 5 male human accompanied by 3 ghouls; a Lawful Evil Sorcerer 5/Cleric of Vecna 5 female half- elf/half-human accompanied by a Neutral Evil Barbarian 5/Fighter 6 male half-orc/half-human werewolf and two ghouls; and a Lawful Evil Ranger 6/Shadowdancer 5 (I believe she meets she prerequisites) female elf with favored enemies Human+2 and Elf+1 accompanied by 2 ghouls. There are also a few Spawn of Kyuss that have taken up residence in the prison which have no relation to the cult.
PC Rewards:
If the PCs are successful the duke rewards them with magic items totaling up to 5,000 GP. If the PCs manage to successfully and safely return all eight citizens the families manage to pull together 150 GP per citizen. If the PCs subdued the crazed man they are rewarded with an additional 500 GP; if they killed him they are rewarded with 250 GP. Also, if they managed to clear out the entire prison and cave they are rewarded with the deed to the old prison. As an added bonus there is an artifact hidden in the cave, the Eye of Vecna, which the DM may or may not choose to include. They also have the information they need (plus a little divination magic) to start a “crusade” against the Vecna cultists in the area.
DM Rewards:
Yes, the DM gets rewarded for playing the adventure, too. The DM gets one (or more) new NPC(‘s) that he may use at his discretion. The DM also has a hook for a new campaign that could lead to dozens more adventures.
Estimates:
This adventure will probably be somewhere around 13,000 words (I’ve never counted words before so this in an uneducated guess). It will also have 4 maps: prison, cave-east side, cave-west side, cave-east
side level 2 (the hidden area).