Pirahna

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Goblin Squad Member. Organized Play Member. 261 posts (262 including aliases). No reviews. No lists. No wishlists. 5 Organized Play characters. 1 alias.



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So I'm DMing a group that has now reached level 5. There are four PCs. Next time they are going to meet a recurring villain. Namely a goblin monk. Think 100 Eyes from Marco Polo or Thac0 from Goblins and you get the idea. Now I want him to be as annoying as possible. Say something cryptic, disarm and trip the hell out of PCs. Deal very little damage, if any, be as untouchable as possible.

So my first question is: how to make him as annoying as possible? He has to be a goblin and has to have most of his levels in some martial class, but everything else is negotiable.

And second: how can I make him disappear so that he can fight the PCs another day? I'm short on ideas. As a cohort to an evil queen he has minions under his control and some magical resources too. Few levels of ninja, turn invisible and run? Sounds too risky. Teleportation? Is it even possible at this low a level? How can minions help?

If it is of any concern, the first encounter with him is in a cave that favors him and his minions.


Alright, I've done The Bold, The Beautiful and The Intellectual. No more dashing bards. Big chested sorcerers? Nope. Scrawny spell slinging intellectuals? Not this time.

It's been awhile since I've played PFS and I'm playing tonight. I want to make a character that hits hard from the first level. Hell, I probably just play him one or two times anyway. Problem is, I don't know what's cool these days. And by that I mean that I've fallen behind on new Paizo products so I'm not familiar with the combos I can use so that I can WIN THE GAME.

So please help me build a PFS front line fighter that hits hard. Anything else is secondary. Super min-max please. Mind you, I don't have any boons to use. And it has to be simple. Like me.

Disclaimer: I really hate this kind of character design concept, but for this one time and one time only I want to try it out. Perhaps I'll love it and never go back from roll-playing to roleplaying. We'll see.


I need to find a spider related adventure or module or dungeon. My wishlist for this is:

-Spider boss!
-Dungeon with spiders!
-If possible, more spiders!

It doesn't need to be all about spiders, but the more, the merrier. I intend to GM it for four 7th level characters.

I know there's the Deadly Delves: Along Came a Spider -PDF, is any good?


So there's an ogre and a tiefling in my party. They need to go to town unnoticed - and in this game this pair draws a lot of attention if not disguised. Luckily, they both have a hat of disguise. What I need is suggestions about what creatures they can appear as. What baffles me is this sentence:

disguise self wrote:
You cannot change your creature type (although you can appear as another subtype)

Okay, so the tiefling can change into an aasimar without problem. He can even impersonate a human with a Disguise check, right? What other more "civilised" options does he have?

But the ogre. How the hell does he go undercover? I must admit that my knowledge about large humanoids is very limited. As in "don't know any". I guess disguising him as a human does not work.

Suggestions?


I'm playing a Tiefling Witch (Deception Patron) in Plunder and Peril, we start next week. It's a pirate themed module. I thought monkey familiar would be fun. Unfortunately I'm not very familiar with familiars (pun intended). So I'd like your input and advice on the fluff and some rules issues too. This is more for fun, I'm not looking answers for "Can he use weapons/wands?" type of questions.

Mechanics first:

1) How do I communicate with him before level 5? We start on level 4 so that's not a big issue but still. Is there some spell for this?

2) How do I calculate his skill points? I've looked over the monkey entry from SRD but it leaves me baffled. +5 Perception? How do you calculate that? I presume that he does not gain his own skill ranks, because he uses the masters ranks if they are higher.

Second, the Fun!

1) Cast Invisibility on him. Make him steal stuff. Or throw poo out of nowhere!

2) Make him climb a tree. Throw poo from there!

3) Use Prestidigitation on him - if GM lets me houserule that for the witch. Or just plain Disguise him with hooked hands, deadly looking sabres and eye patches and Intimidate enemies with his pirate-foo! Yarrr! I have +11 Intimidate (through Clever Wordplay) so that could work mechanically too. If not, then just for kicks. Also, no poo this time.

Suggestions?


PRD & d20pfsrd.com said wrote:
Bard: Choose one bardic performance; treat the bard as +1/6 level higher when determining the effects of that performance.

When searching for discussions about this matter the bonus is always referred as being "+1/2 level higher" - although none these threads is very recent... When did this get nerfed? Did they do some other downscaling too?


I'm about to make a Sorcerer for Plunder & Peril but am a little confused about few things.

1. Can I combine Tattooed Sorcerer archetype and Sylvan Bloodline? If I can would that mean I get a familiar and an animal companion?

2. Does the Sylvan animal companion bloodline power work exactly like the druid version? My main issue is this sentence:

d20pfsrd.com wrote:
A druid can handle her animal companion as a free action, or push it as a move action, even if she doesn’t have any ranks in the Handle Animal skill.

So does it work as such for a Sylvan Sorcerer too?

3. Is there any FAQ or official ruling about reproducing Alchemical Power Components with the False Focus feat? I do know there's ton of threads about this already so please answer only briefly.

Thank you!


We’re doing Plunder & Peril in a few weeks and I’d like some build help with my character. This is because nowadays I’m a casual player and I really don’t know what’s been going on with PF in the two previous years. Also because there’s going to be only three players, albeit the two other know their stuff and know it good, I want to contribute in the best way possible. Okay, here we go:

Baseline
- 20 point buy
- Non-standard races allowed, up to 15 RP
- 2 traits, one of them must be from the Skull & Shackles trait list
- Toughness as a bonus feat from 1st level
- Starting at level 4, at the end of the module we’re likely to hit 7th level
- There's going to be SOME action at sea and in water too, but mostly the module happens on land

About Class
Besides me the party consists of two characters: Half-Orc Druid (kraken caller) and a Gillman Hydrokineticist. The Druid is built towards melee. About the pros and cons of the Hydrokiteticist… I really don’t know because I haven’t had the time to get familiar with the Occult Classes.

As I see it, my character could be something of these three:

1. Pure melee. I’m thinking of Unchained Monk. Maybe dip it into Unarmed Fighter for Crane Style or Crossblooded (Empyreal/Something) Sorcerer to be able to use Mage Armor and Shield? I like to play a frontliners anyway. Add some ability with swashbuckling and were set. Preferrably light or unarmored because water battles will likely occur. Still, I think the Druid can do the tanking already so maybe other concept could be welcome.

2. Arcane caster. Either Sorcerer (Water, Stormborn?) or Bard, controller or archer build. This would be good for the party face aspect too. Especially the Bard would rock I guess, because his ability to wear light armor and still be able to cast. Maybe Magus could work too?

3. Any suggestion you’d like to make.

Also investment into Profession (Sailor) seems like a no-brainer no matter what choices I make here.

About Race
I was thinking of an Aasimar (Angel Blooded) or a Tiefling (Oni-spawn). Both of them have Alter Self as a spell-like ability so when the need to be operational in water arises, I can alter myself into Boggard and gain swim speed. This would also work with any melee build. Or then just ask the Druid to use Touch of the Sea when needed.

Third interesting option is the Skinwalker (Wereshark-kin). I like the ability to turn into something sharkish. Also the concept fits like a glove with this module.

So that’s how far I’ve got. Eagerly waiting for your input!


I'm planning to GM a game with two people. Because of reasons, only these two can attend. So I thought that maybe two characters per player might be a fun experiment.

Has anyone tried this? How was it for you?


I was building myself an oracle and noticed that Hold Person has been seriously nerfed (target may attempt will save on every turn). When did they do this?

Also, I noticed that Magic Missile damage die got nerfed from d6 to d4! Why? How? When? And why's the game called Pathfinder anyways? Can I timetravel back now please?


I'm making an Oracle (Dark Tapestry) for our Way of the Wicked AP. And I'm drooling after the Sidestep Secret Revelation - from the Lore Mystery. Is there any way I could get it? Ring of Revelation does not work, because the Revelation has to be from the Oracles own Mystery. And no, I'm not making a Lore Oracle because of story reasons.

EDIT: Strange Revelation Feat could do this, but unfortunately we can't use 3rd party stuff in our game.
EDIT 2: Changed the Subject.


I was curious about the mundane, non-magical items that often get overlooked in Pathfinder. One of my favorites is Wrist Sheath, spring loaded. Costs only 5 gps! Great for stashing your wand of CLW until you need it! It's like having an extra magic item slot!

Any other forgotten great gear out there waiting to get into action?


We're playing Way of the Wicked (extremely good evil AP). My Alchemist kicked the bucket and now a new face has to ruin the world.

The biggest problem with the Alchemist was the concept. I wanted to be a Criminal Mastermind but didn't quite manage to do that. Now that I have a second chance I'm trying to pull it off with Oracle. Granted, she's not an INT based class but what she lacks in Intelligence she makes up with sheer Charisma.

What I've done and considered already: I've read Sean Fitz Simons Channelling the Cosmos -Oracle guide. I want to focus on Knowning things and possibly to battlefield control. Spellwise I'm dumb struck. Especially if I take the Ancient Lorekeeper archetype. Which Wizards spell compliment my own?

Some options I'm interested in:

- Arhcetype: Ancient Lorekeeper (Elf). If I'm not taking this then my race choice is Gnome.

- Mystery: don't know. Lore seems interesting, as does Juju.

- Magic Items. Is there some Oracle specific / helpful stuff out there?

- Traits. Fate's Favored maybe. With Stone of Good Luck. Is this a good idea? Any other Luck -geared Magic Items out there?

- Feats. Divine Protection, because there's never enough cheese. Breadth of Experience to identify them Monsters immediatly. But them others? Don't know.

I know that the whole concept is still in its infancy. Please help me to sort this out.


There are a number of things I'm baffled about the Alchemist. Rules quotes are from d20pfsrd.com

1) In the midst of battle, I decide to throw a Smoke Bomb. It deals damage AND causes smoke. But because the smoke fills an area equal to twice the bomb’s splash radius, does the damage extend also to this extra area?
SOURCE

2) Throwing a bomb is a standard action. But do I need one or both hands to do it? Could I wield a shield and still throw a bomb?
SOURCE

3) Precise Bomb Discovery says that I can select a number of squares equal to my Intelligence modifier that are not affected by the splash damage from bombs. Fair enough. Can I use it with Smoke Bomb or Stink Bomb to select a number of squares not affected by their effect? Seems to me like it could be RAI, but not RAW.

4) Why in the Seven Heavens is it so that the Bomber's Eye Extract has a duration of only 1 round/level, making it totally useless for a 1st level character? Drinking an extract is still a standard action, right?


I need help with my Grenadier. We’re playing Way of the Wicked campaign with a party of three: a Fighter, a Ranger-Cavalier-Ninja and my Grenadier. All characters are currently on level four. The Campaign goes up to level 20. 25 point buy.

My main problem is that I WANT to use my Grenadier to the best of her ability. But I don’t know how to. I’m throwing bombs like hell but in the last two sessions haven’t used my bow at all. It just seems so much easier to hit Touch AC. And that Bardiche Profiency? Haven’t used it at all.

When I made this character I was thinking of a criminal mastermind. Someone who uses her mind, not her charisma to gain power and wealth. For me that meant taking Breadth of Experience – and Leadership later, with the approval of our GM.

Now I feel that Grenadier may be a wrong choice for that kind of concept. Our GM lets us use Retraining rules. I already had to change my Breadth of Knowledge for Point Blank Shot because I wasn’t hitting anything. Precise Shot is a must also because I want to be good at range.

All boils down to this: I want to be good at range. But I also want to be a bad ass criminal lord. How can I merge these two things? Can it be done? If so, how? Or should I just choose one or the other? And what Feats and Discoveries should I take?

There are three courses of action I’ve considered:

A) No optimization, just pure fun. Plan some ahead but pick up Feats and Discoveries that sound and feel good. Pros: character will be nice to roleplay, it feels and looks cool. Cons: other players of the group really know their stuff. So when we reach higher levels my Alchemist may be totally useless. Well, in battle, any way.

B) Use Retraining rules to revert to vanilla Alchemist and focus more on bombs. Maybe pick up another archetype like Mindchemist? Pros: Super Villain theme gets a good bump. Cons: Ranged combat boils down to just throwing them bombs – and I don’t like to depend on such a limited resource. Also no Alchemical Weapon.

C) [Insert YOUR option]

You can find the character sheet by clicking the link below. PLEASE NOTE: The Character sheet contains some minor spoilers for Way of the Wicked Campaing. It also lacks the fourth level Discovery because I’ve not picked one yet.

Xanthia the Grenadier

Finally, these are the Feats and Discoveries I’ve thought of taking:

Feats:

1 – Point Blank Shot, Martial Weapon Profiency (Bardiche)
3 – Precise Shot
5 – Iron Will?
7 – Leadership?
9 – Breadth of Knowledge?

Discoveries:

2 – Infusion, Precise Bombs [Grenadier]
4 – Explosive Missile?
6 – Wings?
8 – Force Bomb?


To clarify, let's take a Ranger. In RAW it says about her Skill Ranks:

Skill Ranks per Level: 6 + Int modifier.

Now, let's say I dump INT of the said Ranger during character creation to 7 (-2). So when I level up, do I get:

A) 6 Skill Ranks
B) 4 Skill Ranks

The above doesn't count Favored Class option for an extra rank.

EDIT: Fixed the amount of Skill Ranks.


Hello, me stupeid.

No really, what is this AM BARBARIAN thing? I don't get it. And now that Advanced Class Guide Playtest is up, there also seems to be AM BLOODRAGER et al in the Bloodrager comment thread.

Could someone please shed some light on this? The original AM BARBARIAN maybe?


Hello all,

I'm thinking of GMing a module but don't know how to choose one. What I need is this:

- Starting level for the characters around level 5-7
- Equal chance to roleplaying and spelunking
- Not just one big dungeon
- Can't be Dragon's Demand because I'm currently playing through it with my ninja..

Suggestions?


Me and my ninja have a problem. Although he's fun to play, he has a major weak spot. With an AC of 15 he managed to fall into negatives a total of seven times during last session. I'm afraid he will see his ancestors soon if I don't come up with something to boost his AC. I picked Shadow Clone for his level 4 Trick. I don't think that is enough though. Relevant stats:

Liang Ur-Gren
Half-Orc Ninja 4
LN Medium Humanoid
Init +8 ; Senses Perception +7, Dark vision 60 ft

==DEFENSE==
AC 15, touch 12, flat-footed 13 (+3 armor)
Hp 25
Fort +3, Ref +7, Will +3
Armor Studded Leather, MW

==OFFENSE==
Spd 30 ft
Melee Curve Blade, Elven +8 (1d10+6) 18-20/x2
Ranged Shortbow +5 (1d6) 20/x3
Ranged Shuriken +5 (1d2+4) 20/x2
Special Attacks Sneak Attack [2d6]

==STATISTICS==
Str 18, Dex 14, Con 12, Int 10, Wis 10, Cha 14
BAB +3, CMB +7, CMD +19
Feats Improved Initiative, Exotic Weapon Profiency (Curve Blade, Elven)

Ninja Tricks Vanishing Trick, Shadow Clone
Traits Reactionary (+2 init), Indomitable Faith (+1 to will saves), Toothy (1d4+Str natural bite attack)

---

Any thoughts?

EDIT Fixed the stats


I'm playing a Ninja for our upcoming campaign and really want to make the best out of Poison use. There are some issues however.

a) Poison seems to be quite expensive. At least the better ones. While I understand why, it's somewhat boring. No way could I afford any of them for quite a long while. How have you used poisons on lower levels?

One piece of advice I got on an unrelated topic was to multiclass into Sorcerer at 2nd level and take Greensting Scorpion as a familiar so that I'd have "unlimited" access to poison. Any other ideas?

b) Did I understand correctly that Poison use only helps my character not to poison himself when he applies the poison to a weapon but on a Natural 1 on d20 he will still suffer the effects of it? Wow, lot of poison on that sentence.

c) On a lighter note: because I have the Toothy alternate race trait could I apply poison to my teeth? Then bite into the enemy and kill him! Them biting teeth are outside the characters mouth anyway so NO WAY could I accidentally poison my self, because, well, POISON USE CLASS SKILL!!!

Also, here's my character for the record:

Ez-Raen
Half-Orc Ninja 1
LN Medium Humanoid
Init +4 ; Senses Perception +4, Dark vision 60 ft

==DEFENSE==
AC 14, touch 12, flat-footed 12 (+2 armor)
Hp 9 (1d8+1)
Fort +1, Ref +4, Will +1
Armor Leather

==OFFENSE==
Spd 30 ft
Melee Katana +3 (1d8+5) 18-20/x2
Ranged Shortbow +2 (1d6) 20/x3
Ranged Shuriken +2 (1d2+3) 20/x2
Special Attacks Sneak Attack [1d6]

==STATISTICS==
Str 17, Dex 14, Con 12, Int 10, Wis 10, Cha 14
BAB +0, CMB +3, CMD +15
Feats Improved Initiative

Skills Acrobatics +6, Bluff +6, Craft: Cooking +4, Diplomacy +6, Disguise +6, Knowledge: Local +4, Perception +4, Stealth +6
SQ Poison Use
Traits Reactionary (+2 init), Indomitable Faith (+1 to Will saves),
Toothy (1d4+Str natural bite attack)

EDIT: Grammar


I'm especially interested about the areas of Brevoy, River Kingdoms, Galt and Taldor. Where can I get this sort of information (online, if possible)?


Okay, I'm playing this guy in our new campaign (Strength based Ninja) and was wondering what feat should I choose for him? Other charaters are a witch and a gunslinger, who will later dip into fighter. So I'll be the skill monkey, scout, diplomat and in the end, stabby stab :)

Here's the stats:

Ez-Raen
Half-Orc Ninja 1
LN Medium Humanoid
Init +4 ; Senses Perception +4, Dark vision 60 ft

==DEFENSE==
AC 14, touch 12, flat-footed 12 (+2 armor)
Hp 9 (1d8+1)
Fort +1, Ref +4, Will +0
Armor Leather

==OFFENSE==
Spd 40 ft
Melee Katana +3 (1d8+5) 18-20/x2
Ranged Shortbow +2 (1d6) 20/x3
Ranged Shuriken +2 (1d2+3) 20/x2
Special Attacks Sneak Attack [1d6]

==STATISTICS==
Str 17, Dex 14, Con 12, Int 10, Wis 10, Cha 14
BAB +0, CMB +3, CMD +15
Feats ?

Skills Acrobatics +6, Bluff +6, Craft: Cooking +4, Diplomacy +6, Disguise +6, Knowledge: Local +4, Perception +4, Stealth +6
SQ Poison Use
Traits Reactionary (+2 init), Wanderlust (+10 ft to overland speed), Toothy (1d4+Str natural bite attack)

---

Some clarifications:
- Cooking is for flavor - is it a craft or profession skill anyway?
- No feats listed for obvious reasons :)

---

I'm thinking of choosing between these feats:
- Improved Initiative - fast starts in combat and instant SA damage against flatfooted enemies
- Weapon Focus (Katana) - to hit better
- Iron Will - because will save sucks now

What would be the best of these three? Or is there some other feat I should consider? Other comments are also welcome!

EDIT: info at the beginning of this post, some stats.


I'm building a Half-Orc Ninja who nees Exotic Weapon Profiency (Curve Blade, Elven). Since I don't want to spend a feat to acquire it, I was wondering if there's a trait that grants that Profiency?

If not, then I'm also happy with some other weapon that is two handed. I was thinking Nodachi, which is a martial weapon.

Also, the trait would have to be Paizo sactioned. No 3rd party stuff - thats how the GM has ruled.


I'm creating a 1st level Ninja for a new campaign. Since I've never played one before, I need help making one.

Some things I've already decided and not going to change:

- Race: Half-Orc
- Alignment: Lawful Neutral
- No dipping into other classes (too much hassle)
- Trait: Reactionary

Also, I'd like the character to be fast! And acrobatic, too.

Any tips for the other trait? And what Feats should I pick up? Since a Ninja doesn't get too many of those I'm kinda confused what to choose.

Roleplaying wise: are there any factions and/or societies or what-not that I could pick up from? I'm thinking that the character was brought up some master with a number of diciples, that he had a fairly happy (as far as half-orcs go) and secluded childhood. Thus the LN alignment, I'm interested playing a character that has a strict (and unusual) moral code.

The party consist of my Ninja, Witch and Gunslinger/Fighter.

PS. Yes, I do know that Ninja is an alternate class for Rogue :)


I'm making a level 11 human (Shoanti) sorcerer (Arcane Bloodline).
You can find the almost ready character here.

So I'm wondering my options: do I take a bonded object or a familiar?

And what are the best options in these categories for my character?

'cause I'm new to this bonded object stuff, there are some questions.

Let's say I take an amulet as a bonded object. I then proceed to make it into a Necklace of Fireballs. When I've used all of them Fireballs, can I enchant the amulet again?

Can I add magic abilities to the amulet while it still bears it Necklace of Fireballs option? For example adding a Brooch of Shielding option to it? Or is it a sad fact that one item, be it a bonded item or a "normal" magical item, can only have one magical enchantment at a time? Sigh, sometimes I miss Ars Magica...


Is there a way to add Strength damage while using the Rogues Crippling Strike advanced talent?

I've considered Bestow Curse in a Spellstoring Weapon, but that's a bit expensive.


I'm making a level 11 sorcerer, pure PF. More on that matter on this thread.

The big issue with the sorc is rays. How do I make them hit?
What feats should I take?
And what spells should I take, for that matter? Is there a separate list for the ray spells?
And do these feats REALLY work with rays (as I've understood whilst reading the boards): Blank shot, Precise shot, etc.


I'm stumped on this. Do the magic items work retroactively or not? Is it supposed that when a character gains a level that he benefits from the raised ability score forever after, until he discards the item or switches to a better one?

Let's say that a 5th level fighter finds a Belt of Mighty Constitution +2. Does that retroactively affect his hitpoints so that when he dons the belt he gains +5 max hp on the spot? Or does he just get +1 hitpoint? What if he levels up? Does he get this bonus point as long as he has the belt?

Same thing goes for other stat raising magic items. Wizard gets Headband of Itellect +2. Retroactive skillpoints or not? More skillpoints per level or not?


I've seen two worth of mentioning. They're both finnish words (I'm a native finn) that've just been taken and put into place, which makes them somewhat amusing. And they're both from Forgotten Realms, too!

First, there's this city of Vaasa in the northern regions of Faerun.
Amusing because: it actually is a city in Finland. To prove my point, here's a link to the english web page of Vaasa.

Second, there's this minor deity named Kiputyttö. She's mentioned in this Fortotten Realms source book of old.
While she actually is some minor deity in the finnish pantheon of old, I've never encountered her before I stumbled upon her in this material oh so long ago
Amusing because: Kiputyttö translates into Pain Girl. Kind of like some angsty-gothy-my-life-sucks-because-I-want-it-to teenager. Not a relly goddessy like of a name.

Let's hear yours!


Sack the fighter-rogue-wizard-cleric combo! What are the craziest you've seen or played in?

The classic configuration is, of course, in The Hobbit.

13 Dwarves. All fighters. One wizard - although quite epic - who apparently has evocation as a barred school. And one commoner hobbit. And they still manage to pull it off.


I'm joining a campaign that has ran for some time now. They have a bard, a fighter, a rogue and a barbarian/cleric/fighter in their group. So a place for an arcane spellcaster is open and I'm making a sorcerer to fill that slot. And bumping it up to level 10 straight away.

Trouble is, I've never made (or played) such a high level character. So I'm not quite sure what would be the best route to take. All PF material is legal for this build.

Something that the sorc should be able to do:
- Crowd control, as in fireballing etc
- Defend herself from Red Mantis assassins (apparently the group has angered them quite profoundly)
- Able to survive in dungeons a lot, because good olde hack 'n' slash dungeon crawling is the theme

Also, because the game is so high level (at least for me), what matters should I take into consideration game-wise? And by this I mean compared to the low-level games I usually play?

Let it rain!


Name that (or them), please! And consider this before your input:

In the past, when no-one else was willing, I had to use Photoshop and Gimp to make print commercials for our company. I hated that. Too little time, too pro programs. So these two are out.

And when talking about maps, I mean them 5*5 square thingies, not fancy, real-artist-talent-needed types of overland maps.


Yes, this is a ranting threat!

An hour ago, me and my wife were checking an appartment to buy for our own. We had to take our shoes off, that's a standard procedure. There were some other people too to see the appartment. A middleaged man got out when it started to get crowded and STOLE MY SHOES!!!

The shoes I wore looked a little bit like the ones he presumably left behind - but I can't be sure if they were a) his shoes or b) the current tenant's shoes. So I couldn't take any shoes and had to go home bare foot.

The real estate agent doesn't have the piss-for-brains number. At present the thief hasn't called him. And why would that sucker call, anyway? Those shoes cost something like 250€. Which makes them THE SINGLE MOST EXPENSIVE PROPERTY I HAD AT THE MOMENT. Not counting the computer I'm writing this with, but still.

I just have to wait until tomorrow, then I'll call the agent. Again. I really do hope there's some honor left in the world and the man returns the shoes. Otherwise, I may have to call The Dynamic Duo of Old, namely Chuck Norris and Cthulhu. I'm sure they'll finish the job...


Here's my version of How Golarion Was Almost Undone:

---

Azathoth, The Mindless Churning Chaos, awakened, streched its bubbling appendages and yawned:

BY THE BLOODY BONES OF SAINT GILMORG, NOW THAT WAS A BORING OPERA! ONLY WHINING FLUTES AND OCCASIONAL DRUMS! IF I WASN'T THE STAGEHAND RESPONSIBLE TO DRAW THIS DARK TAPESTRY BETWEEN THE CROWD AND THE STAGE - AND THEY WOULDN'T PAY ME SO WELL - I WOULD BE OUT OF HERE IN AN INSTANT! I HAVE TO GET ME A MORE UNCOMFORTABLE CHAIR SO THAT I DON’T FALL ASLEEP SO EASILY… FEELS LIKE I'VE SLEPT FROM THE BEGINNING OF TIME… GLAD IT'S OVER AND BOY, AM I HUNGRY NOW! TIME FOR SOME SNACK...

The Mighty Demon Sultan then slipped under The Dark Tapestry, put in place Before Time to protect humanity from his unending hunger. He rolled over to The Sane Universe (or, as The Wise call it, the opera seating), and in his lust for sustenance, saw something quite new to his senses…

WHAT'S THIS? WHAT'S THIS SITTING IN THIS SEAT RIGHT HERE? GOLARION? MUST BE SOME NEW KIND OF CHEETOS. WELL, IT'S LEFT OVER HERE ALL ALONE, MIGHT AS WELL EAT IT...

What transpired next is an issue of much debate. Surely only The Accursed Elves of The Mordant Spire and The Mad Monks of Mivon know for sure, but it was this conversation, initiated by a stranger that made it possible for all of life to thrive in the face of Golarion…

Stranger in The Dark: Wait!

Azathoth: AND WHO ARE YOU TO DISTURB MY SLUMBER! …I MEAN, SNACKTIME! MORE IMPORTANTLY, YOU CAN'T BE HERE, WE'RE CLOSING...

Stranger in The Dark: I'm sorry, but I lost this spherical thing of mine, have you seen it?

Azathoth: NO...

Stranger in The Dark: Then what's that behind your back?

Azathoth: NOTHING…

Stranger in The Dark: Come on! I can clearly see you're hiding something!

Azathoth: ALRIGHT, I AM! BUT WHY WOULD I TELL ANYTHING TO A TOTAL STRANGER? I'M AFRAID OF STRANGERS...

Stranger in The Dark: Okay. I'm sorry. My name's Erik.

Azathoth: ZANN? ERICHH ZANN? THE VIOLINIST WHO PLAYS IN OUR ORCHESTRA? MAN, I LOVE YOUR WORK!

Erik: No, sorry. Wrong Erik. And you are…?

Azathoth: AZATHOTH, PRIMAL HORROR AT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE, MAD GOD AT THE END OF EVERYTHING AND ALSO A STAGEHAND AT THIS LOVELY OPERAHOUSE OF HELSINKI, AT YOUR SERVICE!

Erik: Nice to meet you. Can I have my… thing now?

Azathoth: SORRY. HAVEN'T SEEN NO THINGS. JUST THIS CHEESY BALL HERE...

Erik: That's it! That's my wife’s handbag!

Azathoth: HANDBAG? NO, LOOKS LIKE CHEETOS TO ME. AND I'M HUNGRY...

Erik: No! Wait! Oh no, now you drooled all over it! Easy now... Now you did it! You dropped it! Do you realize how fragile it is?!?

Azathoth: I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! IT'S PERFECTLY FINE! LET ME LIFT IT UP... AND I DROOLED JUST ONE DROP! NO ONE WILL NOTICE!

Erik: Let me see that!

Azathoth: HEY!

Erik: Looks like it's still mint.. oh no! Azlant got pulverized!

Azathoth: AZLANT? IS THAT THE FLAVOR?

Erik: No, just one side of this containter... Aw, it's ruined!

Azathoth: IT IS?

Erik: Well totally! At least the Azlant side of it…

Azathoth: AW MAN, CHILLAX! IT WASN’T LIKE SOME STAR FELL ON IT, IT JUST FELL TO EARTH…

Erik: That’s it!

Azathoth: WHAT IS?

Erik: Man that was a good line! Now I can explain back home what happened to this! Baby, a Starstone as beautiful as you fell onto your purse and caused an Earthfall, heh… Hey, give it back!

Azathoth: OH NO MISTER. YOU STILL OWE ME ONE.

Erik: Huh?

Azathoth: I FOUND IT. WHO KNOWS, YOU MAY JUST HAVE WALKED IN HERE, CLAIMING IT TO BE YOURS. I’M PRETTY SURE THERE ARE A LOT OF THESE GOLARION HANDBAGS AROUND, AND IF, JUST IF, SOMEONE, LIKE, OH I DON’T KNOW, LIKE THE REAL OWNER COMES AROUND TO ASK IF I’VE FOUND ONE…

Erik: Alright, alright, let’s make a deal. I give you some money for it…

Azathoth: BUT I’M HUNGRY! I WANT TO EAT NOW! NOWNOWNOW!

Erik: Sigh. Okay. I bring you food. You give it back. And I write you as a part of the story of Golarion…

Azathoth: YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE AN OPERA ABOUT ME?!?

Erik: Well.. Yea. Kinda.

Azathoth: THAT’S SUPER! I WANT THE LEAD ROLE!

Erik: Anything you desire. Now just keep it safe until I get back, okay?

Azathoth: YOU GOT IT BOSS!

Erik: Alright, let me get that food for you!

Azathoth: BE QUICK! ...STUPID ASS. LIKE THIS IS THE FIRST HANDBAG SOMEONE LEAVES BEHIND… LET’S SEE WHAT YOU HIDE… EWW! JUST SOME MOLDY UNDERDARK AND SOME TINY POCKET DIMENSIONS! DO NOT WANT! BUT YOU’RE STILL KIND OF CUTE… OKAY GOLARION. I COULD JUST STUFF YOU BACK IN MY DRAWER WITH THOSE OTHER STUPID HANDBAGS. CASTROVEL AND AKITON, STUPID PIRATED BRANDS, WHERE’S MY PRADA OR VUITTON?!? BUT, SINCE YOU’RE DENTED, AND I LIKE THINGS A BIT BROKEN, I’M GOING TO FIX YOU UP! THAT’S RIGHT, INTO THE DARK TAPESTRY YOU GO! OH, I GOT MY INSPIRATION RUNNING NOW…

And that is how Azathoth, The Seething Nuclear Chaos, went back behind The Dark Tapestry and put Golarion under his stagehand stool. And Erik, who came back with three different kind of Cheetos, found the gates of opera closed forevermore. And so, he had to eat all of them Cheetos himself (although some legends say that he smeared some of the Cheetos on the surface of Golarion as a revenge to Azathoth.. but how he got Golarion back from the slimy clutches of Azathoth is another story).

Back behind The Dark Tapestry, in his inspiration, Azathoth wrote a story of how Golarion The Handbag became whole again. He wrote, because he knew not how to sew – and the opera costumier had already left… How long he wrote, nobody knows. Papers full of written fiction fell from his tentacle thingies and touched the surface of Golarion, forever changing it. And as he wrote, he fell asleep. And now he slumbers again, and We Who Know The Truth have to suffer from his bad sense of fiction, forever finding our paths in this mess of a world called Golarion…
----

Now that you’ve read my version of the near destruction of Golarion, let’s hear yours!


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I use the following:

DM_aka_Dudemeister's extremely well written material from the boards. I love his enthusiasm, his skill and the thought he puts up to his modifications. Pure gold.

I also use material from this thread. Kudos to the contributors!

I plan to use the following:

Crown of The Kobold King. Don't have it yet, but Tartuk just got away so I planning to link him to this :) Also, they're going to build a kingdom, they need a crown, right? And what would be better a crown than one that's gotten from a comical low level challenge as a loot?

Realm of the Fellnight Queen. Don't have either, but the description seems like it fits perfectly to the KM setting.

Let's hear yours!


The spell description states the following:

Casting time: 1 standard action
Once per round, as a move action, you may designate a target 5-foot-square within range and launch a pyrotechnic in that direction.

In the first round when I cast this, if I want to use the spell, can I move at all, because it eats up my move action?

During the following rounds, can I take a standard action or another move action while concentrating on this spell?

Can I cast another spell while concentrating on this one, because it only takes a move action to execute?


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I am in a desperate need for some adrenaline rushing, bone crushing, furiously marching battlemusic for KM!

Also, I'm making a mini narrative for one of the characters. In that narrative, the Sorcerer trapped in room with a letter that, once opened, produces a dragon head, which then swallows her. All this happens in her mind and when her compatriots find her, she's in a kind stasis they cannot awaken her from and it looks like something moves under her flesh, changing her.

I could use some battlemusic for this also, but I'd like to hear, what would you recommend?

Sovereign Court

Countrymen! Fellow Pathfinders!

In the interest of uplifting the spirits of fellow Pathfinders, I propose that all of you who have musical ability even in the slightest, suggest or even make your own thememusic for your faction! And, if possible, a story of how it came to be.

It is my honor to make the first entry, for that is what Taldor, The Past and Future Kingdom of Golarion, truly deserves!

Before I make the entry I'll tell the story part. See, I'm no Bard. But I do have some skill with the quill. I made a grand poem which describes Taldor in a very realistic way and also hints to the grandiose future our beloved country has ahead. And it only took 12 pints of fine Varisian ale to get it done..

Immediately after its birth I wanted to convert this poem in to musical masterpiece. And boy, was I in luck! I ran into (literally, when I tried to get into the toilet asap, damn ale comes straight through..) a group of bards!

These four hailed from The Realms of The Mammoth Lords (they wore a lot of leather and fur) and they got the right attitude - they told me they were "Fighting the World" with their music! They called themselves War o' Man (Silly name, they agreed, but it was a work in progress). We talked and drank over and I introduced my piece. They got electrified and started to work on the song rightaway! And after a few hours and considerably more drinks, it was done! When we parted ways we agreed to meet on the following evening in the same place. They would rehearse the song (now named "Taldan Warriors") and play it then.

Then, next evening, when they were about to play the song, they told me they had to make some changes to it. This was outrageous! Unaccepetable! Unfortunately, there was four of them and I was alone, so I had to agree to their changes after a black eye and a sore knee. Also, they were very strong which made me to think that maybe they were Fighters afterall? Anyway, they performed the song and it went well. Even with the.. minor adjustments.

You can listen the revamped version of the song here.

But before you do, please take note of the ORIGINAL lyrics of the song, which I have produced below. And when you listen to it, sing along with the original lyrics, to get into the right mood! And then.. submit your own themesong!

Taldan Warriors

Every one of us has heard the call
Brothers of true Taldor
proud and standing tall
We know the power within us has brought us to this hall
There's magic in the Taldor there's magic in us all

Heavy Taldor or no Taldor at all whimps and posers leave Absalom
Heavy Taldor or no Taldor at all whimps and posers go on get out
Leave Absalom

Now the world must listen to our decree
We don't turn down for anyone we do just what we please
Got to make it louder, all men play on ten
If you're not into Taldor
you are not my friend

Heavy Taldor or no Taldor at all whimps and posers leave Absalom
Heavy Taldor or no Taldor at all whimps and and posers I said
Leave Absalom

Now the world must listen to our decree
We don't turn down for anyone we do just what we please
Got to make it louder, all men play on ten
If you're not into Taldor, you are not my friend

There's Taldor in Absalom tonite, can you hear it call
If you ain't got the balls to take it you can
Leave Absalom

Heavy Taldor or no Taldor at all whimps and posers leave Absalom
Heavy Taldor or no Taldor at all whimps and posers leave Absalom


I have a rookie player that's playing PF under me. This is her very first tabletop RPG experience. She plays a Sorcerer. And she likes to play it. Half of the time, namely in the roleplaying encounters. But during battles, she feels that she's very underpowered and can't do much to help.

The Sorc's relevant stats are:

Level: 2nd (enough XP to level up)
Bloodline: Draconic (Red)
Spells: Level 0: Acid Splash, Detect Magic, Read Magic, Prestidigitation; Level 1: Magic Missile, Sleep
Feats: Combat Casting, Scribe Scroll

In your opinion, what could I do, game mechanics wise, to make her feel more adequate in battle? More specifically:

-Would you change her spell selection? What spell would you have her take if she levels up in Sorc?
-Same questions as above for feats.
-If she wants to level up in another class, what would you recommend?

When answering, if possible, please consider what she wants:

-To do more melee(!). I've told her that this is a bad idea if she plays a pure Sorc and she understands this. But still she would not like to multiclass. Can you even make a pure Sorc a melee type?
-Loves fire and dragons. That's why she chose the class :) So no changing the Bloodline.

Mind you, she likes her character and roleplays it extremely well. I just hope that she could enjoy the fighting encouters too...


It is with shaky hands and dizzy fingers that I have to write this, for my understanding of roleplaying in general changed in a Big Band style during this weekend. Yes, I'm ecstatic! I just played two PFS scenarios (The Quest for Perfection Part I and Blood Under Absalom) at a convention, namely Ropecon.

There was no way I could've known what was to come. I gamed with a lot of great people I've never met before. It was fun! I learned a lot about GMing. That was fun too! These games also ended my 8 year dry season as a player. And it was perfect.

And also, as a cherry on top, I won some PF material! I now have a brand new Ultimate Magic sitting right here beside me, waiting to be opened!

Winning Spoiler, contains Blood Under Absalom releated stuff:
At the very end of Blood Under Absalom, you must roll a natrual 20. No rerolls, no abilities allowed. All in the same table must get a 20 before any table can win. And I were at the table that rolled 20's first. And in so doing, got the loot :)

---

Then I got home and tried to sleep. Sometime around 0.30am, at the border of dreaming, the thought hit me: I can play PFS anywhere in The World. Any. Friggin. Where. Then I tried to sleep some more, failing to meet my DC's until the odd hours..

I bow deeply to the Ropecon organizers, Venture Captain NiTessine, and Pathfinder Society GM Deussu. Without these people, this could've not happened.

Only one question still remains unanswered. At the end of the other scenario, we made a peaceful contact with a creature who greeted us with open arms. And the scenario ended there. After that, the party Magus asked:

"Okay, so now that we presumably shake hands with her, do I release the Shocking Grasp I've readied or not?"


Hello. I'm new to PFS. I've wanted to play it for some time and now I have the chance.

The biggest con in Finland (RopeCon) takes place this weekend. They have PFS. I want in.

I've red most of the PFS rules. I've made me a character. But that's where my preparations end and the questions begin. I have to register my character, correct? Do I need to bring reference material to the con (I've not used anything outside CRB)? What else, besides a healthy bag of dice, do I need?

Mind you, I GM PF so I think I know RAW pretty well. But not the PFS stuff.

Thanks in advance!

EDIT: Everyone's cheering for some scenario called "Blood Under Absalom", which is going to take place in the con. As I've understood, BUA cannot be played unless certain conditions are met so this is like once in a lifetime opportunity. Can I play BUA with a Tier 1 character?


Why is The World's Most Popular Role-Playing Game being referred as The World's Most Popular Role-Playing Game in Paizo products? Is this because of some copyright thingie? Or because if you speak The Name of The One Who Must Not Be Named it's agents come to deliver swift death upon you?


My troupe just got a nifty pair of Boots of Elvenkind. Now the players are fighting over which character should get them - namely a Human Fighter or a Halfling Rogue.

I haven't ruled yet if the boots are of Medium or Small size. Are all magic items by default Medium size when found (swords, armor etc)? Or is just up to the GM to decide?


Got my hands on GameMastery Guide and found out that they have printed on one its pages Words Every Game Master Should Know (if interested, you can find the words and links to their explanations here).

Nice list, but a bit bland on its own. So, a challenge then:

Use at least one of the words on the list in a sentence you could utter in a Pathfinder gaming session (as a player or GM or whatever). As a personal favour to me, you can choose from the following ten words. I'm not a native english speaker, and have absolutely no idea what these words mean. And no, I'm not going to find out, because YOU are going to explain it to me in a sentence..

The List:

Affusion, bouffant, cuspidor, helot, indurate, mange, redolent, secession, tumulus, valgus.


If it does, pointers please! And if it doesn't, well, I could make one with a little help..


I'd give the full Average of the class which has more Starting Wealth and then add to that half of the Average of the other class.


I'm starting a new campaign (Carrion Crown) and a player wants to create Undead Scourge. What confuses me is this line about Smite Evil class ability from the Scourges' descripiton in d20pfsrd.com:

Smite Evil (Su)
This functions as the paladin ability of the same name, but the undead scourge does not deal 2 points of damage per level on the first successful attack against evil dragons and evil outsiders. She does deal 2 points of damage per level on all smite attacks made against evil undead creatures.

Does this really mean that the Scourge is weaker than the basic paladin, because he can't use his Smite Evil against outsiders and dragons? Or am I missing something vital here?


I'm about to GM CC to a two player group. It seems that The Haunting of Harrowstone (which I've read through) could be a wee bit harsh for just two characters so I'm thinking my options - and asking for your creative solutions for this. These are some of the options I've been thinking:

-Gestalt characters (never had them in of my games so I have some doubts about this)
-Intelligent magic item that's included in the Professor's chest. It starts out with no abilities whatsoever - except the ability to speak. During the campaign it gains abilities tied in some way to the characters.
-NPC who starts with the PCs (not really an option considering Reputation Point system and all that present in THoH)

Any other ideas?

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