Toothless Dragon's page

Hey guys, I've had an unexpected opportunity to go out of town with some friends and I'm going to take them up on it. I'll be leaving today, and I'll be home on Tuesday night. I may have some sporadic internet access while away, but I wouldn't count on it.

Please just go ahead and role-play to your heart's content your sure to be hilarious antics at the bonfire. When I get back, the dares will start...what? Dares? Who said anything about dares!

Talk to you all in a couple of days.

The afternoon proceeds apace, with the four important chosen goblins enjoying their new celebrity as heroes of the Licktoad Tribe. As night falls, a group of four struggling goblins appear, carrying the creaking and swaying Teeter Chair (with the immense Chief Gutwad perched precariously atop it as always) out to the bonfire. Once the thone has been set in its prominent place (fortunately without mishap) the chief produces, from somewhere amongst his rolls of fat, a foot-long wooden tube with a long trailing fuse. The ever-present and ever-annoying Slorb tosses a burning torch up to the Chief, who lights the fuse with a flourish of his pudgy hand. The fuse quickly burns down, followed by a series of colorful pyrotechnic balls launching forth from the mouth of the tube, one after the other in rapid succession. One of the balls strikes a 'throne bearer' directly in the eye, eliciting a hideous shriek of pain, but most of the balls find their intended target: the bonfire, which ignites in a glorious conflagration of orange flame! Goblins young and old cheer wildly.

Upon this signal, Slorb whines loudly, "Let celebration and revels now begin!" Many tasty foods are produced in short order, (much to the delight of Thok and the others) including snails, fish, and snakes. Some goblins produce crude drums made from the skulls of various animals and begin pounding out an asynchronous 'rhythm.' Before much longer, someone cracks open a barrel of fermenting cider apples, and the wild debauchery is now well and truly underway.

Any particular actions at the wild rumpus?

Slorb's voice as he replies is like nails on a chalkboard (or would be if any of the goblins had ever heard of a chalkboard).

"Gloppy, you so lucky that Slorb like you more than other fake gob 'he-roez'. Otherwise, I no give you great gift of me voice to remind you of story of Vorka. She wife of Licktoad Chief way many years back before Great Chief Gutwad, His Mighty Girthfulness. She not too bad looking, either, but that before we find out she cann...cannabis...she eat other goblins! She eat then-Chief, and some few other gobs before Licktoads get together and drive her away. Now, she live somewhere alone out on coast away from Licktoad village. Somewhere right near fireworkz ship, if Scribbleface map is right. Too bad for you, hope you no get eat up by she-goblin cannabis. Oh well, me sure you be just fine with so many brave 'he-roez' to help. Slorb go now, many orders to give for big bon-fire tonight!"

Slorb saunters away, leaving Glop to wallow in the shame of being a gigantic suck up.

Stay tuned, bonfire post coming up shortly!

Glop lurks outside of the Moot House for awhile, until finally Slorb emerges, looking as ridiculous and pompous as always. Upon the advisor's appearance, Glop sidles up next to him and begins showering him with effusive goblin-y praise.

It doesn't take long before Slorb is eating out of Glop's hands, and only to happy to answer his questions. He rambles on in that annoying, nasally voice.

"If Glop and others was smart like Slorb, you would 'member that Brinestump Marsh is great place! Many places to hide, many good things to eat. Some poison, though, so maybe have Thud try first bite. Not too many humanz ever come into Brinestump, so that good too. They probly afraid of monsters, like dogs, snakes, frogs, bugs. You no need be afraid, though, cause Grimlek and stoopid lizard probly get eat up first, and you run away."

"Oh, and no forget Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many. Her live in marsh, worst bug in whole place! Scribbleface map show path right through Lotslegs territory, maybe Thok get caught in web, make snack for Lotslegs while Glop runs past. That what Slorb would do."

"Oh, and maybe Vorka out there someplace too. You 'member Vorka, right Glop?"

greenteagamer, there is an opportunity on this thread which may interest you.

I am not applying for this game, because I am not in your intended audience. However, I did want to applaud you for getting this going. New pbp players on these boards are a good thing. Well done!

As morning passes to afternoon, the Licktoad encampment becomes a beehive of activity. Goblins toil throughout the day to build a huge bonfire out of branches, sticks, and unburnt timbers taken from the ruins of Scribbleface's hut. Children burst into spontaneous cheers and applause as the 'heroes' pass by. Anticipation clearly is growing everywhere for a celebration of legendary proportions (at least by goblin standards).

Kind of just a bump. Again, if you guys want to find out what your gobs know about, say, the Brinestump Marsh, Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, Scribbleface's map, etc., now would be a good time. In any case, the scene will shift to the bonfire sendoff tonight.

let the wild rumpus BEGIN! hey, i'm out of town this weekend. maybe get a chance to post tomorrow, but likely not until sunday night. autopilot as needed.

No problem, thanks for the heads up.

The Chief looks satisfied. "Good, you gobz is all right. Slorb give you map to fireworks ship."

Slorb, his mouth finally working again, attempts to protest in his whiny voice, "But, Great Chief His Mighty Girthness Rendwad Gutwattle...you sure these right guys for job..."

"I am sure! Shut up and give map!"

Slorb shuts up and gives the map, a crude thing drawn on the back of some kind of hide...horse, most probably.

As soon as someone takes the map, The Chief bellows, "Now get lost!" sending the four goblin 'heroes' scurrying forth from the Moot House as fast as they can run.

The boys have some time to kill, since the Bonfire Fest isn't scheduled until night falls. Let me know if there's anything you guys want do, like look at the map, make any Knowledge Local checks, and so forth.

Slorb, having been insulted not once but twice, opens his ugly mouth to attempt a whiny retort, but before any annoying words can come forth, the booming voice of Chief Gutwad yells, "Quiet down!"

Much to everyone's surprise and shock, the Chief's words do not seem to cause any goblin present to lose all the words in his head. Except maybe for Slorb, whose mouth continues to hang agape. In any case, now that the Moot room has gone silent, Chief Gutwad continues.

“You all be heroes. Each of you. You are best Licktoads but for me. And maybe but for Slorb. That you do not flee in terror from mighty sound of my voice is all the proof you should need. Yet soon, all Licktoad goblins will know your might, for I have picked you for a dangerous mission.

“I want them for Licktoads. You all go get them tomorrow. Tonight we have big bonfire to burn bad luck away from you, and we play many games. Much fun. Tomorrow you fetch me fireworks. If you meet men, you make them dead. If you meet dogs, you make them dead. If you meet horses, you make them dead. If you meet Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, you maybe should run. And if you not find fireworks, you not come back or we feed you to Squealy Nord!”

"feast NOW?" Thud asks anxiously catching Grimlek's eye as he crouches down. Then a thought occurs, "Hey Slorb, What MOOT mean anyway?"

"Moot mean shut up, cuz Chief Gutwad about to speak! Him words probly make lamebrain like Thud fall down and cry, they so great!"

Slorb's voice is really annoying, by the way.

Just popping in to say two things.

1. I really like your Goblin Song
2. I really like the way the posts are written.
3(becuase goblins can't count anyway): Go goblins!

Well, I can't take credit for the song, because I lifted it straight from the module (so thank Richard Pett for that).

But thanks, I'm glad you like the tone of the game. It's been great fun so far, and we're just getting started!

Go goblins!

Finally, after what seems an eternity (especially to impatient goblins), a high-pitched nasally voice calls out from inside the Moot House, "You gobs, enter now!"

As the four chosen ones trickle in to the Chief's dwelling, they can't help but notice all of the trophies scattered about the room...the Moot House is a veritable museum of Licktoad heroics! The place is crammed full of stolen weapons, shiny bits of treasure, and the brine-pickled bodies of several brutally-slaughtered small furry animals (puppies mostly).

In spite of all these splendors, the dominant sight in the room is His Mighty Girthness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad himself, looking down upon his subjects from the heights of the Teeter Chair. This 'throne' is a six-foot high ramshackle seat of driftwood and tree branches that creaks precariously under the weight of its obese occupant. The Chief is resplendently naked, his fat hairy belly rolling down over his groin to keep his manhood covered (not that he'd care if anyone saw anyway).

That weasel, Slorb, stands off to the side, pompously dressed, as usual, in his 'offical robez' (actually the cast off pink cotton bathrobe of some human girl), and 'advizer hat' (some feather-covered atrocity that may once have been a turkey). Again, in that whiny voice he orders, "Sit on floor, now! His Mighty Girthness, Chief Rendwattle Gutwad will speak to you."

Reactions from you, before the Chief begins?

One by one, Thok, Grimlek, Thud, and Glop assemble in front of Chief Gutwad's Moot House at the center of the village. Truly, this is an exciting time, because as all good Licktoads know, His Mighty Girthness does not traditionally speak directly to his subjects (having convinced his minions that the words that come out of his mouth are so mighty that they might frighten away all the words in the heads of lesser goblins). Instead, only his duly appointed advisor (a pompous, overdressed goblin named Slorb) whispers the Chief's instructions; presumably, only he can handle the might of the chief's words without fainting from fear.

Now, the four goblin 'heroes' have a moment to interact while they wait to be summoned to enter the Moot House itself. They can't help but wonder, will the Chief actually speak to them directly? What will happen to them if he does?

Me start first!

I know, awesome! Now, where are your fellow miscreants?

DMing 3 games, soon to be 5. I have the time for this, though.

Wow, five? Sounds like a full time job in and of itself!

And, we're live!

Game Thread Link

I will note that since I didn't have the adventure at the time of posting the recruiting thread, I made some assumptions that don't quite match up with the text of the module. I figured rather than rewrite everything, I would just go with it, and ask you guys to forget about any 'continuity' from the recruiting thread and just start from scratch. Not to discount the fun and creativity displayed over there, but it's just easier this way.

That said...game on! Let's make it a great one.

We be Licktoads! We make raid!
Put the longshanks to the blade!
Burn them up from feet to head,
Make them hurt, then make them dead!
Cut the parents into ham,
Smush the babies into jam,
All the rest in pot get stewed,
We be Licktoads - you be food!

You are goblins of the Licktoad tribe, who live deep in Brinestump Marsh, south of the hated man-town called Sandpoint. Once, other goblins tried to burn Sandpoint down, and they would have been legends if they had succeeded. But they didn’t bring enough fire, and got themselves killed as a result.

Yesterday, your tribe discovered that one of your own had been using forbidden arts and was engaged in one of the greatest of taboos—writing things down. In fact, rumor holds that what he was writing was a history of your tribe! There’s no swifter way to bring about bad luck than stealing words out of your mind by writing them down, and so your tribe had no choice. You branded the goblin’s face with letters to punish him, which is why everyone calls him Scribbleface now, and then you ran him out of town, took all of his stuff, and burned down his hut.

That’s where things got interesting, because before you all burned down his hut, Chief Gutwad found a weird box within the building. Inside was a map and a lot of fireworks—fireworks that immediately came to use in burning the hut down. Then, this morning, Gutwad announced that tonight there would be a feast in order to drive out any lingering bad luck from Scribbleface’s poor decisions. But perhaps even more exciting, all of you have been secretly invited to meet at Chief Gutwad’s Moot House. Why would the chief want to speak to you? It can only mean that he’s got an important mission for you all... one that the other goblins of the tribe couldn’t pull off. This could be your chance to go down in Licktoad history!

Again, forgetting about any continuity from the recruitment thread, please take this opportunity to post on the way to the Chief's Moot House, so you can establish your goblin's appearance and role-play a little bit. Game on!

Time to get working on our IC thread!

Soon, my friends, soon. :D

Toothless Dragon wrote:

Voodoo, I was just looking over Thud's stats. I think his slingstone damage should be 1d3+3.

I didn't know where Thud would get metal bullets, so he's just using rocks- tiny damage per RAW (under sling description), -1 to attack. if i'm suboptimizing too much lemme know. maybe i'll just take the Throw Anything feat instead of Catch Off-guard. I just had a vision of him grabbing whatever was around and beating the hell out of stuff.

EDIT: Ha, i'll take throw anything and have him throw the WHOLE sack of rocks. he just doesn't quite get the sling thing. : )

No, it's cool, I just never knew that rule. Thud isn't too suboptimal at all, I think he'll do just fine. The flavor's the more important thing anyway, and you've nailed that.

Thrown sacks of rocks, indeed. :)

Voodoo, I was just looking over Thud's stats. I think his slingstone damage should be 1d3+3.

I just downloaded the adventure! At a quick glance, it looks terrific! My day is pretty busy, but tonight I'll hunker down and read in earnest. The semi-epic adventure of our four goblin 'heroes' will begin soon!

Dotting for interest. I'm on my way out the door now, but I'll definitely post up a character concept tonight. My initial thought is a Ranger build of some sort.

Dotting for interest, with the intent to create an Alchemist concept for consideration.

Nightflier, how long do you expect to review applications before making your player choices?

Looking good, guys!

Looks like we're on track for a Monday adventure download, and a Tuesday game start. The initial reports from those who got to play the adventure over the weekend look really positive. Can't wait!

Toothless - Let me know if you do get to that

Tell you what, if it happens, I'll hold open a slot for you. It may not be for a little while, though, I've got my goblins to take care of first, and I'm not sure yet if I'm up for DMing two games.

I'm seriously considering starting up a game using a short, simple adventure (most likely a PFS Scenario) specifically for players with little or no pbp experience. A resume builder, of a sort.

Updated!

Excellent, thanks!

Grimlek gear is updated with some descriptions.

Good stuff, thanks! Brought a smile to my face.

Hi guys, I wanted to see how character sheets are coming along. It looks at a glance like Thud and Grimlek are in pretty good shape, while Thok and Glop have a ways to go. I'll be able to download the PDF for the adventure on Monday (just two days away). I know I said I'd like to start the game by the end of next week, and that still holds true. However, I don't see any reason we couldn't start earlier (Tuesday even) if all the sheets are statted out.

Another thing is that I want to encourage you all to really give some goblin-y flavor to your guy's description and equipment. Thud has some of this in place now, and it's great. Goblins are crude and malicious and hilarious, and their description should reflect this to the fullest. They should walk around with spears tipped with a stag's antler, and armor made from old cookware and pockets jammed full of slugs and bird heads and shiny rocks...you get the idea. I really would like to see lots of this kind of flavor come out in your description and role-play.

Let me know if I can help.

Hey guys, here is an updated document with those sample pregenerated characters. The last page has ten fun facts about goblins, it's a good read if you've never seen it before.

LINK

Hey guys, just checkin' in. Sayin' hey.

Is it Monday yet?

Yes!

Glop Stinktoe has navigated his way over throughout the twisting inter-nets.

20 pt buyin! We be heroic indeed!

I'll start working on goblin prose for every occasion. My wife will love that :-)

Well, I can't speak for your wife, but your DM certainly will!!

Everybody's present and accounted for. Awesome. :)

Thanks, voodoo. I guess I assumed that everyone would have access to the official racial info for the goblins, but it's helpful to post it here for easy viewing. I should have been more clear.

I found a link to a couple of 'unofficial' pregens for the adventure, here. They're fun reads, and I thought might be inspirational for you. I especially like the fun and unique equipment descriptions. Check 'em out!

And we now have a discussion thread!

LINK

Open to player and lurker alike! Come and join the fun.

Welcome one and all!

Well, I just hope we can craft a game with as much fun, energy, and hilarity as the recruiting thread, yes?

Here's where we stand. I don't have the adventure yet, because it's not available to download until Monday. So, until then, I don't know if there are any specific rules/recommendations for creating the goblin PCs. Let's wing it for now.

You can go ahead and get started on your character sheets, with the caveat that the following guidelines are subject to change once I've read the adventure. We know race and class combos, and we know that the adventure is for 1st level characters. I think a 20 point buy (heroic goblins!) for abilities will be in order, since there are only four of you. We won't be using traits for this game, most likely. Max hit points, and let's say average starting gold per class. That should get you started.

Let me know if I can help in any way. I hope to be able to launch the IC thread in about a week.

Game on!

Great Chief Rendwattle Gutwad finally bellows, "Dat's enuff, boys!!!" The chief waits for a moment for the ruckus to die down. Sensing that it's not going to happen anytime soon, he sighs and produces a ridiculously large warclub from behind his throne, then proceeds to wade into the throung, bashing open a few heads. "Quiet youz. And youz." At last, the message sinks in, and the commotion subsides to a dull roar.

The chief stamps his club four times on the ground (breaking the foot of one unfortunate nearby gob), and points a huge sausagelike finger at four would-be goblin heroes in turn.

"Glop Stinktoe!"

"Grimlek Longtrunk!"

"Thok Burnskin!"

"Thud!"

He continues ominously, "Youz my guyz to go forth for all Licktoads and get boomstickz...if youz can pazz da test, dat iz..."

Duh duh duh!!!! To be continued in the IC thread, coming soon to a messageboard near you.

Seriously, though, after some long and hard deliberation, based on party balance and general entertainment value, I picked those four. This was a blast, and I commend all of you for your contributions to this super-fun recruiting thread! Please know that it was a tough choice. I wish you all the best.

Watch this space for a link to the Discussion thread, coming shortly. Thanks guys.

All righty. I think we've probably got everybody who is interested on board already, so I'll close the application process now.

I'll be making my selections from among the following:

Stiehl9s - Joboo Snaggletooth, Rogue
imimrtl - Grimlek Longtrunk, Druid
Iron-Dice - Glob Stinktoe, Bard
Ganny - Thok Burnskin, Sorcerer (Fire Bloodline)
KenderKin - Mung Ho Blimp, Cleric
voodoo chili - Thud, Barbarian
Poor Wandering One - Braggart Bignose, Fighter
DaWay - Grob'nak, Fighter
Prince of Darkness - Gouber, Cleric of Zarongel
Kryzbyn - Dodger, Monk

Let me know if I've missed anyone, please.

My announcement will come later today!

Thok stops hunting for the fire smell and looks at Doodlebug. Or more specifically, the longsword. "Thok think fire want to say hi to big word Goblin. Thok wonder if chief take burnt head?" Thok wiggles his fingers, and leaps in a tiny ray from his hands toward Doodlebug.

For those of you playing along at home, this is a fiery Ray of Frost. I also won't say whether or not it hits...leave that up to Toothless.

Nah, I won't be adjudicating any spell results or anything...you guys just go freeform, and have fun with it.

I'll announce the party roster tomorrow sometime. Might be earlier than later, if nobody new joins the throng.

Wow guys, I almost think I could forgo the adventure and just make this recruiting thread a game unto itself. Awesome fun, all of you.

That said, eventually I will have to close this thing up and choose my four players. I think I'll give it until tomorrow (Wednesday) night to get any more stragglers on board, and then I'll make my picks. FYI

Still a bit surprised I haven't seen a grizzled Goblin Ranger (favored enemy Dog) sporting a fetching chihuahua pelt cape yet

And now...we probably will. Better yet, write it up and join in the fun yourself. :)

Having realized that Zyren's Thod was not an actual character application either, I have refined the potential list, thusly:

Stiehl9s - Joboo Snaggletooth, Rogue
imimrtl - Grimlek Longtrunk, Druid
Iron-Dice - Glob Stinktoe, Bard
Ganny - Thok Burnskin, Sorcerer (Fire Bloodline)
KenderKin - Mung Ho Blimp, Cleric
voodoo chili - Thud, Barbarian
Poor Wandering One - Braggart Bignose, Fighter
DaWay - Grob'nak, Fighter
Prince of Darkness - Gouber, Cleric of Zarongel

Avast, ye miscreants!

It is I, Doodlebug Anklebiter, goblin paladin of Iomedae and Webster (minor deity of spelling, punctuation and conjugation), here to smite you all!

[Takes of metal gauntlet and challenges Toothless Dragon to a duel]

My second and my lawyers will be in touch!

With some effort, Chief Gutwad hauls his corpulent mass off his throne and stands to his feet. In a booming voice, he shouts above the chaotic din of his assembled tribe, "Diz guy no true Licktoad, wit' big ideaz and bigger wordz! Special prize to gob who bring me head of Doodlebug Anklebiter!"

Possibly of interest.

Zarongel is a barghest demigod that is numbered among the four Goblin Hero-Gods that are believed to have created the goblin race. He appears to be the most wolf-like of the four, but has hair composed of magical fire. Lamashtu is said to have freed Zarongel and the other three barghests from captivity by Asmodeus. Zarongel is commonly worshiped by goblins. Some tribes hold him in greater reverence than the other hero-gods or even Lamashtu. He is believed to be the origin of the goblins use of goblin dogs as pets and mounts.

he has the animal, fire, travel, evil domains and dogslicer is his favored weapon.

Definitely of interest! Thanks.

Oh, and point of clarification...

I think Meowzebub/Singe withdrew from consideration after realizing his idea was pretty much the same as Thok. At least, that's my interpretation of his last post. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

@ Toothless - heres a list of applicants so far -

Joboo Snaggletooth - Rogue
Grimlek Longtrunk - Druid
Glop Stinktoe - Bard
Thok Burnskin - Sorcerer / Fire Elemental
Mung Ho Blimp - Cleric
Thud - Barbarian
Thod - Fighter
Braggart Bignose - Fighter
Singe - Sorcerer
Grob'nak - Fighter

Thanks man!

To that list, we'll add the newest applicant, Gouber - Cleric

Wow...I go to work...I come home from work. I have 27 new posts to read.

This may be the most fun recruiting thread for a pbp ever! :D

Loving it, loving all of you. Gonna be tough to pick just four.

I'll sort through things later tonight and try to get a list together of applicants thus far.

I'm glad you guys are having such fun with this...I know I am.

Really fun posts so far, guys. Keep it up!

Hi all,

I'm looking for four players who want to rise to the challenge of playing as goblin PCs in the upcoming Free RPG Day release, 'We Be Goblins!' For those unfamiliar with this adventure, here's a portion of the product info blurb:

The Licktoad goblins of Brinestump Marsh have stumbled upon a great treasure—fireworks! Yet unfortunately for them, the tribe member responsible for the discovery has already been exiled for the abhorrent crime of writing (which every goblin knows steals words from your head). To remedy this situation, the Licktoads’ leader, His Mighty Girthness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad, has declared that the greatest heroes of the tribe must venture forth to retrieve the rest of the fireworks from a derelict ship stranded in the marsh...

This won't be a first-come, first-served application process. Rather, I thought it would be fun to turn this into a role-playing exercise so you can get your goblin on, as it were. The scenario is this...your would-be goblin adventurer has been brought in front of Chief Gutwad and the whole of the Licktoad tribe to make his case as to why he should be selected to go after the fireworks. In short, it's an audition process. Feel free to get creative with this, but please do include your goblin's name, class (core only please), and a unique physical description. Keep in mind the humor matters a lot, but so do creativity, strong characterization, and party balance. I'll pick my favorite four characters by the end of the week. Note that, if this game is successful, I may consider using it as a prequel for me to run the Jade Regent AP later on (assuming everyone is interested).

Once your goblin has 'auditioned' you may also feel free to post his reaction to subsequent try-outs as well (just keep it in a spirit of fun and friendly competition).

This should be fun, I think. Who's on board?

Well guys, I've decided not to pursue the co-DM idea further. I think that, while it may help in some ways, it would also just further serve to complicate things in others. That would be counter-productive to my goals at present, so it's a no go.

I truly think what's best for me, though I regret it mightily, is to put this game to rest for the moment. Note well that this doesn't necessarily mean that I want to withdraw from all contact on these boards, nor even from pbp altogether. Maybe I'll look for an opportunity to participate in a game as a player. Or maybe I'll even still try to get something going in the coming days/weeks as a DM...just something lower level and less epic in scope. We shall see.

Again, though, thanks for being good sports, and for all your kind and supportive words. It really, honestly, means a great deal to me.

Take care, and I hope to have the opportunity to game with some of you again down the road.