Reta Bigbad PFS's page

Sorry for my absence--I'm at gen con. Thanks to GM and my fellow gobbos. Great game!

Matt Bauers
(No character name yet--I've only used GM credit for this character. Is that ok?)
100025-5
No faction yet

Poog! You weren't supposed to die first! Reta steps back to enable the full reach of her blade, hacking at the woman again and again.

5 ft step back

First attack vs old lady with reach, haste: 1d20 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 2 + 1 = 7

damage: 1d8 ⇒ 5

Second attack (hasted) vs old lady with reach, haste: 1d20 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (20) + 2 + 1 = 23

damage: 1d8 ⇒ 3

Second attack crit confirm: 1d20 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 2 + 1 = 7

crit damage: 2d8 ⇒ (3, 7) = 10

Reta advances with a sugar-induced speed, striking at the old woman.

attack old lady with reach, haste: 1d20 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (18) + 2 + 1 = 21

damage: 1d8 ⇒ 4

The sugar rush haste effect is possibly the best thing I've ever seen written into any D&D scenario, ever.

Reta dives head first into the cake, eating as much as she can before it's gone. She takes a pull from one of the moonshine bottles, and points out the rest to Moggy.

Moggy--this burn good? The thought holds her attention for a moment before she takes the child's doll, rips the head off, puts a gold ring on each finger, and sprints after the others.

Thanks Poog--you not as horrible as Chuffy. Reta says matter-of-factly, again attacking the halfling bride.

attack bride with reach, flank: 1d20 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (1) + 2 + 2 = 5

Damage: 1d8 ⇒ 3

Reta again steps back and swings her weapon in retaliation at the bride.

This time she tries to hide the fear in her eyes, and shouts: Poog! I bet dumb Zarungel won't let you heal me!

5 ft step back

attack bride with reach, flank: 1d20 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (11) + 2 + 2 = 15

Damage: 1d8 ⇒ 6

Reta backs up, rubbing her jaw.

Hey! That was my favorite tooth! She swings her weapon viciously.

5 ft step back

attack bride with reach, flank: 1d20 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (11) + 2 + 2 = 15

Damage: 1d8 ⇒ 3

Reta charges into the fray, not letting anything get in between her and cake.

charge groom with with reach: 1d20 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 2 + 2 = 10

Damage: 1d8 ⇒ 1

AoO with reach if either provokes: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (10) + 2 = 12

Damage: 1d8 ⇒ 8

I'll use my Happy Beat badge, so that should put me back to 4 hp and bounce me 10 ft away from him.

Reta bounces backwards, landing on her balloon head and springing back to her feet, slashing at the drunkard. She then retreats over behind her best friend Poog.

You pay for that, horseface!

attack with reach: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 2 = 17

Damage: 1d8 ⇒ 6

Can someone please move me diagonally SW from the enemy (but two squares away)? Thanks.

Reta uses Poog's distraction to advance on the longshanks, swinging her new horsechopper at him.

attack with reach: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 2 = 10

Damage: 1d8 ⇒ 7

Reta laughs at Moggy and the fat, stupid pigs.

Moggy, when the dumb farmers chase the pigs, we go to the barn. Burn it down ALL the way. You make fire big enough for the barn?

What can I get for: a small silk bag containing eight baby teeth and a crudely drawn crayon picture of a blond half-elf woman and a smaller half-elf girl, adorned with hearts. Can I get a horsechopper? I also have a shield and dogslicer for trade, if that helps.

Perception: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (20) + 8 = 28

Reta finds the hidden compartment and takes all of the goodies, throwing the wand at Poog.

Die stupid Longshanks!

Stab with flank: 1d20 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 + 2 = 24

Damage: 1d4 ⇒ 3

Crit Confirm: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (12) + 4 = 16

Crit extra damage: 1d4 ⇒ 4

Step up and stab: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 2 = 8

Damage: 1d4 ⇒ 4

Reta charges into the fray, hacking at the woman's legs!

Charge merchant: 1d20 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (18) + 2 + 2 = 22

Damage: 1d4 ⇒ 3

Before

Reta jams the false teeth into her mouth, laughing raucously as she tries to eat the hardtack with them. Then her eyes fall on the meat hook which she grabs, spiking it through the dead raccoon's back. She waves the raccoon on a spit like a child's puppet, screeching in a grating voice: Look at the dancing grabby cat!

Now

Reta holds out the raccoon puppet to the woman, beaming with her second set of false teeth.

Die stupid grabby cat! Reta make you into hat! Aaaaaaggghhh!

Slash red raccoon: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (17) + 2 = 19
Damage: 1d4 ⇒ 2
bonus damage from licktoad boon: 1d6 ⇒ 3

Slash red raccoon: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 = 4

Damage: 1d4 ⇒ 4

Reta howls in frustration at her inability to stab the grabby cat!

Reta steps up and hacks at the grabby cat!

5 ft step

Slash raccoon vs FF AC: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 2 = 9

Damage: 1d4 ⇒ 2

Reta steps up, toad in one hand and shield in the other, and clears her throat. Then she screams at the top of her lungs, threatening to bring the cave down on their heads:

Reta chop and Reta bite!
Reta slay and Reta fight!
Reta stab and Reta smite!
Reta kills it all just right!

Reta approaches the cowering whelps, grinning maniacally. Good, then you come with us to the cave of darkfear. You walk in first and get eaten. We come after you and laugh. Good plan.

Intimidate: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (17) - 2 = 15

Ooh, pretty fire!

Moggy the best! I make sure dogs kill Chuffee and Poog before you. Reta smiles broadly, looking over the new weapon with a mad woman's glee.

Reta approaches Chuffee, standing over him and narrowing her eyes menacingly.

Reta like trade too. You give Reta extra dogslicer, Reta not hit you in soft parts with club. Good trade?

Perception: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (6) + 8 = 14

Reta spies Mogmurch finding some darts and inspects the area, her search efforts much less subtle. She rips off a table leg and swings it around gleefully. She then pries off the dart case and slings it over her arm like a makeshift shield. I'll adjust my AC in my sig

Sense Motive vs Mog: 1d20 ⇒ 13

Hmm, good advice, Moggy! Reta is the best and loudest toadsinger of all the Licktoads! Watch!

Reta warbles a hideous tune, scratching out a cacophonous melody that, she believes, brings the biggest toads to the surface.

Perform (Sing): 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (1) - 2 = -1

CMB to catch a toad: 1d20 ⇒ 19

Perception 1: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (5) + 8 = 13

Reflex 1: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (18) + 2 = 20

Keen-eyed Reta spots a fat worm immediately, seizing it and spitting it deftly toward Loptop.

You, you, you, smell like horse farts! And, and, and, you kiss dogs' ears! And, and, ow!

FS: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (10) + 3 = 13

Int: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (11) - 1 = 10

FS: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (12) + 3 = 15

Int: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (10) - 1 = 9

FS: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9

Int: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (9) - 1 = 8

Reta breaks into a run, attempting to do a front flip and land on her head. Her foots slips before she can attempt a good and dangerous flip,though.

Acrobatics: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6

nonlethal: 1d3 ⇒ 1

Cha with boon: 1d20 - 2 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (4) - 2 + 2 + 1 = 5

She roars in frustration at the patch of mud that she slipped on and bashes her own head into the ground, this time with much better results.

nonlethal: 1d3 ⇒ 2

Cha with boon: 1d20 - 2 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (20) - 2 + 2 + 2 = 22

FS: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (11) + 3 = 14

CMB: 1d20 ⇒ 19

Dex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (11) + 2 = 13

Reta scowls at Mogmurch, pouncing on a spider and tying it quickly, ignoring its bite and venom.

What you say? Shut up, Butterfly-Face!

Reta's balloon-headed face turns purple at Mogmurch's insults and she lashes out, trying to eye gouge him.

Dirty Trick, Blind vs Mogmurch: 1d20 ⇒ 8

I know there's no PvP in PFS, but what's a few CMB checks among gobbo friends? GM, please let me know if that's not allowed.

Gimme dat dumb spider!

CMB: 1d20 ⇒ 2

Dex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 = 4

Made an alias