Professor Paladin's page

"Religion is a form of life, that seems to those who inhabit it to be comprehensive, incapable of abandonment, and of central importance." Paul J. Griffiths

When you smite the Chaotic, their gunk just sprays everywhere. Pure order is not restored until the smiting is done and the cleanup crew can come in.

*Redacted for Blasphemy*

And now, THE SMITENING begins.

Professor Paladin wrote:

Kelsey MacAilbert wrote:

Professor Paladin wrote:

Kelsey MacAilbert wrote:

Professor Paladin wrote:

Stop pitching soft balls. You may be Chaotic Neutral, for whatever reason, but now that you've been scolded, check my profile for the Real Answer RE Scolding Paladins.

...What's a rulebook?

ANSWER.

Cool! What does it do? Can you eat it?

Step 1: Seal your Core Rulebook carefully so that it cannot be exposed to moisture. Double sealing in giant Zip-Lock Freezer bags might work.

Step 2: Use protected CR to press those lemons.

Step 3: Mix the lemon juice with a little sugar cane syrup and something relaxing, like white rum or tequila. Be generous with the latter. Imbibe and relax.

The above is more productive than trying to make an anti-paladin's ear into a paladin's purse.

That sounds fun. Do you have any vodka I can buy?

I'm a Paladin, not a Publican. Also, I'm not a vodka drinker, but it seems like all my friends these days are drinking Tito's.

Professor Paladin wrote:

Kelsey MacAilbert wrote:

Professor Paladin wrote:

Stop pitching soft balls. You may be Chaotic Neutral, for whatever reason, but now that you've been scolded, check my profile for the Real Answer RE Scolding Paladins.

...What's a rulebook?

ANSWER.

Cool! What does it do? Can you eat it?

Step 1: Seal your Core Rulebook carefully so that it cannot be exposed to moisture. Double sealing in giant Zip-Lock Freezer bags might work.

Step 2: Use protected CR to press those lemons.

Step 3: Mix the lemon juice with a little sugar cane syrup and something relaxing, like white rum or tequila. Be generous with the latter. Imbibe and relax.

The above is more productive than trying to make an anti-paladin's ear into a paladin's purse.

Professor Paladin wrote:

Stop pitching soft balls. You may be Chaotic Neutral, for whatever reason, but now that you've been scolded, check my profile for the Real Answer RE Scolding Paladins.

...What's a rulebook?

ANSWER. Because, according the Paladin Code, it never hurts to help.

Stop pitching soft balls. You may be Chaotic Neutral, for whatever reason, but now that you've been scolded, check my profile for the Real Answer RE Scolding Paladins.

Next to lovin', I like fightin'
I like fighting -- it's excitin'!
Next to lovin' I like fightin' best!

Anti-paladin's a pest,
Smite that bastard then I'll rest!
Next to lovin' I like fightin' best!
Next to lovin' I like fightin'...
BEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeST!

Professor Paladin wrote:

Prof Chaos wrote:

The OTD forum not interesting? That is simply unpossible.

Govern thy grammar in keeping with the Law, Prof Chaos, or prepare to be smitten!

Lawful, not anal.

Jerk.

Hmm...mayhaps I could make common cause with him against evil, but he must submit to my grammatical ministrations. It is IMpossible that the OTD forum be uninteresting.

The OTD forum not interesting? That is simply unpossible.

Govern thy grammar in keeping with the Law, Prof Chaos, or prepare to be smitten!