LORD SUNDER's page

It doesn't matter where they're hiding behind the table.

IF YOU ERASE THE TABLE!!!!

*sounds of massive plasma cannon charging up*

"TOO MANY THINGS! I WILL BREAK THEM!"

PC that Loves Pain wrote:

Keep it up, this is incredibly painful to read!

I shall alleviate thy pain!

"YOU HAVE TRIGGERED MY READIED ACTION! YOUR HOLY SYMBOL IS NOW DUST!"

"I DECLARE THIS THREAD BROKEN!!!!"

thorin001 wrote:

The appropriate response to this is simply, NO. An unslotted item that costs 2K that emulates a slotted item that costs 18K is simply ludicrous. That ioun stone should cost a minimum of 36K.

Actually, the appropriate response is "Yes."

Later that day....

GM: "Due to your rockin' Sense Motive, I'll let you know that this guy seems kinda shifty, all smart-like. Almost as if, how shall I put it, maybe a little bird told him something. ...something about *you*. Because of that, you get to act in the surprise round. Roll init to see if you beat him."

"Too bad. BBEG wins. He quickdraws a rather vicious-looking axe and wings it over your head, really putting some oomph into the throw. You'd think he does this for a living..." <rolls not-a-1> "Since your Perception score is so awesome, even over the sounds of impeding battle as your companions shout and draw steel, you're distinctly able to hear the faint tink! of an Ioun stone being split."

* * * * *

That PC may have an AC of 60, but unless he's one of those wizards who beats rocks into his forehead, his Ioun stone has an AC of 24 and 15hp damage trashes it. Sure, there's many things the player can do to mitigate -- but did they?

I, LORD SUNDER, APPROVE OF THIS MESSAGE!!!

Oh Lord here we go again

"IT WILL NOT END UNTIL YOUR MIND RECEIVES THE BROKEN CONDITION!!"

Talonhawke wrote:

Also i feel really sorry for all the old guys in robes with walking sticks AM spots on his daily rounds.

"Your Majesty, the Queen has just been RAGELANCEPOUNCED!"

Well, dammit, Jenkins, I told her not to wander the castle grounds without her wimple. Call out the Special Division; I simply cannot let this pass unavenged."

"THE GOD OF SUNDER LAUGHS AT YOUR QUEEN'S BROKEN SPINE!"

"YOUR PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS ARE NOW DUST!"

"RIDE MY SMURFLINGS! RIIIIDDDEEE! LEAVE NO MAN SMURFED! LEAVE NO WOMAN OR CHILD UNSMURFED!

Can't AM BARBARIAN spell sunder harmful effects like a blindness deafness spell or a bestow curse spell. How does the wizard do that.

"HE SMASHES THE ILLNESS FROM THEM! ILLNESS TOO IS A THING THAT CAN BE BROKEN! SO SAYETH LORD SUNDER!"

DO NOT BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! BELIEVE IN ME WHO IS BREAKING YOU!

phantom1592 wrote:

Andy Ferguson wrote:

Cartigan wrote:

Define "expected."
Why is anyone going to expect that NPCs will suddenly start rifling through players' packs to find all their books, then sort through those to find the spellbook and then steal or sunder it?

Cause PC's expect NPC's to behave like PC's? Why wouldn't someone want to steal an immensely expensive item?

???

Do PCs act that way?

How often do the PCs sneak into the mega-evil hideout and steal HIS stuff without forcing a confrontation?

I mean bags on the PCs' persons. "Quick, it's night. Go find the Wizard's spellbook!"

And why would the PCs expect the NPCs to attack their luggage? I mean really, who expects that? Does anyone? Why?

TO FEAST ON YOUR TEARS!

Want to see metagaming at its finest? Ok. You have a big bad evil guy who has his minion (or maybe even himself) who is pretty damn good at sneaking and being unnoticed, so he creeps into the party's camp, home, whatever. He scoots right up to the wizard and somehow manages to lift the wizard's arm up (since he's probably sleeping with his spellbook), steal the spellbook from the wizard's possession, then creep back out of the camp while leaving the vast collection of magical sundries. All in an attempt to harm or make it more difficult for the party.

So then a player goes: "I don't get it. They were skilled enough to sneak into the camp, steal McWizard's spellbook from out of his sleeping bag while we were all sleeping in close proximity to one another, and then left. Why didn't he just kill one of us?"

Yes, why DIDN'T the badguy just kill one of them? I mean, it's apparently so effortless for them to have done so. If you can just waltz into the party's camp and start stealing their gear while they sleep, then there's not a thing in the world preventing them from just coup de gracing them in their sleep.

Say it's an 8th level expert. He walks into the camp, using his sweet stealth skill. Maybe he was even using a potion of invisibility so he's so much harder to hear creeping up (I know it's stupid but it's true), so the party has no idea he's around. At this point he decides that he wants to steal the party's stuff. So he whips out a light pick and coups the dude for 4d4+8 points of damage while he sleeps. Ok, that's an average of 18 damage and a DC 28 save or die.

So now you have a dead party member and he steals their stuff. No one to come looking for it now!

Maybe he then repeats this with each party member. You get a dead party and a very rich minion of the BBEG after he sells all their pretty +X shinies of magical wonder.

DO NOT QUESTION MY MOTIVATIONS PEASANT! PERHAPS HE SHOULD SEARCH FOR HIS SPELL BOOK IN THE CAMPFIRE! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Does anyone sunder Holy Swords, Steal Holy Symbols or otherwise screw over the OTHER classes?

YES

I AM A FAIR LORD AND THUS SUNDER ALL THINGS EQUALLY! ARMOR! WEAPONS! SPELLBOOKS! INSTRUMENTS! PERCEPTIONS OF REALITY! I DO NOT NEED ADVANCED NOTICE ON WHAT TO BREAK! ALL ARE BROKEN IN MY NAME! MOVE ON WITH THIS POINTLESS DEBATE WRETCHED MORTALS!!!

IT IS AMUSING TO ME TO SEE WRETCHED MORTALS ARGUE OVER THE DESTRUCTION OF A BOOK TO DISABLE A WEAK WIZARD!!! ALL ONE MUST DO IS SHATTER HIS WEEK BABBLING JAW AND RIP HIS BAGS OF STINKING BAT DUNG ASUNDER!!!!! HIDING YOUR SPELLS INSIDE YOUR SKULL DOES NOT HIDE THEM FROM ME!!!! SO DECREES LORD SUNDER!!!

i know, Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced intrusion do wreck encounters. the reason why is because it literally binds and violates the intimate rights of most level approrpiate humanoid opposition.

it was intended as the perfect mass raping implement, but because it was built for that purpose, and because of the similarities between foreplay and wrestling. the spell is literally the perfect grappling tool.

the Designers of D&D were clearly sad lonely human males. and some of thier frustration leaked into the game.

YOUR VIRGINITY IS SHATTERED!! SO DECREES LORD SUNDERRRR!!!!

AM SUNDER ALL.

YOU HAVE PASSED THE TEST YOUNG BARBARIAN JOIN ME AT MY SHATTERED TABLE AS ONE OF MY FELL AND TERRIBLE SUNDERKNIGHTS!! TAKE UP THE ADAMANTINE LANCE!! MOUNT THINE HALF FIEND RUST MONSTER!! BREAK, SPLINTER, AND SHATTER ALL OBJECTS IN MY NAME!! LET ALL WHO WEAR EXPENSIVE AND NOT-EASILY-REPLACEABLE CLOTHES BEWARE!!!!! CARRY HIM AWAY IN THE MILDLY DAMAGED THRONE MY SUNDERLINGS!! TODAY WE WELCOME A BROTHER!!!