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What you mean all goblinoid type monsters? We monsters? RAAAWR! HAAWR HAAWR! See, I growled and laughed at once! We be goblins. No more goblins needed but us. We are prefe... parfai... infe... as goodas it gets! ... I accidently set fire to your horse. And eight your dog, purely by accident. Really wanted do other way round. But horse smells yummy now, so never mind.
We're definitely capitalists, on account on all the capital crimes we like to commit! (And yes, things like eating human babies and burning dogs and slicing humans into ribbons are capital crimes even in goblin legislature. The main difference is that you aren't punished for capital crimes, but rewarded.)
Okai, me go first! Abadar
Abadar lives in a really shiny big village he calls Axes, though there are no axes around. Weird, that. There are lotsa really shiny things in there, though! Abadar is a real smarty and wants everyone to live in big shiny villages and get many shiny things for themselves when they do what they're told. People who tell others what to do, people who swap things, and people with big shiny names pray to him a lot! Also, people who have things taken away from them by meanies prey to him so he makes the meanies give things back, but those people are big crybabies. He wants you to do what you are told by your boss, but not if the boss is a wimp or too crazy. He also wants you to find many shiny things and swap them much with others everyone has many shiny things. He wants you not to go pick fights with long folks, because they're no fun, anyway. Better to take what they throw away, the dummies!
Priesties of Abadar really like to tell others what to do, but they also tell you how to find shiny things better. They don't care what you do as long as you do what you are told and make no mess. They also wear shiny things a lot and live in really shiny huts. Shiny shiny shiny! When Abadar likes you he makes you find extra shiny things, but if you make him mad he hides all shiny things from you and makes you very sad!
I trust you are, of course, dictating this to someone else doing the posting.Ui! wads diss? U no me? I be fay mess!*I did the gnome thing for months on the wizards boards when they wouldn't tell us about gnome minis in DDM. Don't make me do the goblin thing on these boards! I think my mental influence here is sufficient to convert many others to do it along with me! ;-PThis is an incredibly serious threat. He added a silent G to every n he used. It was scarring. I still wake up in a cold sweat some nights. For the love of all that is holy, someone organize a goblin product for KaeYoss! Ies, ai do. Dad otha person also be me, budd other perfor.. preso... voys in mai hedd! We be bruddas!
*I did the gnome thing for months on the wizards boards when they wouldn't tell us about gnome minis in DDM. Don't make me do the goblin thing on these boards! I think my mental influence here is sufficient to convert many others to do it along with me! ;-PThis is an incredibly serious threat. He added a silent G to every n he used. It was scarring. I still wake up in a cold sweat some nights. For the love of all that is holy, someone organize a goblin product for KaeYoss! Ui! wads diss? U no me? I be fay mess! |
