Illuria holsters her pistols and pulls down her new aviator shades. "We still need someone to patrol our airspace. Just in case."
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Illuria steps up to the paused clown. "You're a yard gnome, now," she hisses as she lifts her eyepatch.
"Watch out!!" Illuria dives out of the way. As the clown car spins around, the small medusa pulls out the mankiller and aims for the driver.
Illuria gets blasted and when the sparks die down everything's huge -- except for Zindarel. "Aww, man," she groans as she realizes she's tiny. She checks her back for wings and groans in disappointment that she can't fly. Instead, she draws her cutlass and runs as best as she can to be ready in case she grows big again.
"Betty!" the captain shouts as Illuria is buffeted by the balloon men's blows. She wants to go help her, but it'll do no good while their enemies are still around. Seeing the crows turn about for another pass, she quickly loads another shot into her flintlock and fires into the swarm.
"Snakes. Why'd it have to be-- wait a minute! I love snakes!" Illuria's crown of serpents hiss loudly at the balloon snakes, asserting dominance!
Illuria dives underneath the snapping jaws of the giant balloon wiener dog created by rainbow bird poop. "This has been just the weirdest past couple of days," she mutters as she drives her cutlass upwards and runs along the dachshund's underbelly.
Wishing for the first time that she carried a blunderbuss, Illuria draws her old flintlock and fires it off against the thickest mass of birds.
Illuria sidesteps the worst of the splashing acid and her light scales do an admirable job of resisting the rest. With a flick of her finger, she sends the stony bikers to attack the giant clown!
Illuria draws her cutlass as her snakes rise up. They strike in rapid succession, sinking fangs into feathers as her blade flashes.
Illuria taps her crimson eye patch. "All right! All right! We're coming. We're all coming." She commands the stone statues (those still relatively intact) to follow her to the underside of the island.
Illuria curses as the gunfire comes her way and she feels a burning in her side. She points the six-shooter at the gunmen and squeezes the trigger while her snakes hiss in pain and anger.
Illuria dives out of the way and rolls up to her feet. The medusa takes a brief moment to appreciate the chaos her petrifying gaze created, and her snakes all lift their heads attentively. Spying the big butcher, she strides toward him as she draws her cutlass and pistol. She issues a warning, "You'll not be using these women for your sick amusement! Anyone who doesn't want to be stone or dead should flee!" She fires off a mankiller shot at the first one who doesn't heed her warning.
Illuria looks at Betty's strange enthusiasm, then shrugs. "Well, I *was* going to suggest I'll be the distraction, but both of us can. We'll keep their attention while Cassi and Zindarel come in from the sides. If it goes right, those who aren't stone will have their eyes shut anyway." She gestures to her eyepatch. When the motorcade comes into close range and Betty steps out in their way, Illuria does as well -- though she stays close and blocked from view by Betty's form. Then, when it's too late for the drivers to react, she steps out from behind Betty and lifts her eyepatch.
"Ideally? I'd turn them all to stone. Realistically? We slip through the front lines, take out the rocket men first, and then use their rockets against the rest of them."
Illuria pulls out her new six-shooter and spins the barrel along her forearm. "They're on their way, now. They threw us in with the men and broadcast the whole bloodbath. How many else in this prison might be willing to lend a hand?" she asks Garnet.
"No, we're not--" Illuria's answer is cut off and she gives Betty a sigh. "No, we're here to stop this place from becoming the next violent TV show. We're going to save you all. And >ahem< torescuetheThemysciransfromunjustcaptivity."
Illuria rubs her chin as she looks over the map and considers their plan of action. It was likely going to get messy regardless of what they did, so the best tactic was the most unexpected. When Bob tears the piece of napkin, her brow furrows and her snakes hiss softly in unison. "That's the 'Tethered Isle,' right? What's tethering it?" She pulls off her sunglasses in dramatic fashion. "And can it be un-tethered?"
Illuria levels her gaze at the television. It was a purely symbolic gesture, since Bastardom and crew remained disgusting flesh instead of much-less-disgusting-but-still-unpleasant stone. She trembles in fury for a moment until she masters herself. Dropping her aviators down over both eyes, she turns to her crew. "I think we know where we're headed. Is everyone ready?"
"Bathroom break," Illuria shouts as she puts the vehicle in park. "Fornicating wasn't really part of the plan, but we're flexible." She had found a pair of aviator sunglasses above the SUV's visor, and is now wearing them.
Illuria gestures to the pink house. "What we're driving really stands out. That's as good a camouflage as any. We park close enough to it, this SUV might get missed from a distance," she observes.
Illuria and her snakes nod their heads. "Quiet sounds nice for a change."
Illuria studies the map with a sour expression. "I don't know what's going to get us back to Themyscira quickest. Not ready to go back to prison, even if it smells like flowers. Any preferences?"
"You can drive... for now," Illuria says as she slides into the shotgun seat. She looks over the controls to familiarize herself with them in case there's a need for her to take over.
Illuria blinks in astonishment -- and exhaustion -- at the destruction of the composite giant. She can't help but feel amazed that when she imagined the giant punching itself with its stone fist it actually did just that. Imagining things. That's gotta be it. She staggers to her feet and reloads her pistol. "Rum break, everyone," she says, then swears when Zindarel flies off after the engine sound.
Illuria shuts her eyes against the efforts to control her. Her snakes hiss in fury as she backpedals away from the giant. "That's it!!! I'm done here!" She pulls her eyepatch down to use her medusa's power.
Illuria scrambles away from the blast. She aims with her flintlock at the motorcycle guy, hoping to explode its gas tank.
Illuria is crushed! Her snakes bite at the leg pinning her to the ground, injecting poison into the monstrosity.
Illuria doesn't get out of the way in time. She feebly strikes at the ankles as she's squished.
Illuria dashes forward. Her cutlass has chopped hundreds of mooring lines over the years, so now she put it to use against tendons the size of rigging ropes in the legs of this behemoth.
Illuria dives clumsily out of the way.
I've lost two to this stinking illusion, Illuria thinks as Cassi steps forward.
Illuria scowls -- it's starting to become her regular expression -- as she sees the table spread. Even more disturbing is the fact that Zindarel is sitting down to join them. "So, birthday, huh? Shouldn't there be a candle on the cake? How old are you?"
Illuria rolls her eyes at the awful singing and hopes the song doesn't get stuck in her head. "Game over? I wish..." She twirls her cutlass in her hand and gets ready for more carnage.
Illuria leaps out of the way like a swinging boom needs to be avoided!
Illuria rallies from the wound she received and draws her cutlass. She starts darting in and out, slashing as she goes while her snakes get into the action by striking at any clown trying to sneak up behind her.
"Ugh." Illuria is struck by... something.
Illuria moves fast and powers her way through the attacks. She pulls her freshly-loaded flintlock as she notices a steam pipe immediately overhead of several attackers. Why explosive objects are always painted bright red, she'll never know.
Illuria nods in agreement with Zindarel and casually slaps one of her snakes that started slithering toward the fairy. She glares at the men. "My ship was attacked, unprovoked, and then you put us on trial by combat to prove our innocence?"
Illuria picks up a strip of red cloth as well. Everyone around her can see that her eyepatch is now crimson and ornate. She checks her own clothes, then underneath them for some sign of the red garment before one of her snakes notices it and hisses in her ear. She moves to regard her reflection in a mirror, turning her head to different angles to inspect the eyepatch. "Not too bad, I'd say."
Illuria sighs, and her snakes seem to share in her resignation. "I... guess the fruit and wine setup. I mean, when I'm not on deck, I usually look my best among a number of marble statues." She glances over her shoulder at the stone monstrosity and sighs once more. She plants one hand on a hip as she sways exaggeratedly, her other hand held up in a classic pose while a few of her snakes twine around her forearm. She sashays over to the fruit and wine, taking slow sensual bites of the strawberries and delicate sips.
Illuria eyes the devil somewhat suspiciously as he suggests they clean themselves try on a selection of clothing. Not that he hasn't been straight with them in the past, but the whole situation she and her crew were in still warranted mistrust. But given the fact that they were the focus of entertainment, it would hardly be sporting to assassinate them all while they were unprepared and bathing. She still reloads her pistol and resolves to keep it close. The large stone wall of eyes might be unnerving to someone as they get undressed, but Illuria is quite used to the unseeing stares of stone statues. She peels off the blood-soaked pirate's garb and enjoys the bath while her snakes stay alert and watching. Once the bath is over, she partakes of the strawberries and wine while grumbling that there's no rum. Illuria finally wanders over to the selection of clothing, not exactly thrilled about modeling a line of ladies' fashion while fighting for her life and the lives of her crew. She eventually settles on a classic Themysceran-style dress with the full expectation that it will get wrecked if she's not allowed to change before the fighting gets back underway.
Without hesitation, Illuria turns around and flips up her eyepatch, exposing her baleful gaze at the fleshy monstrosity. It wouldn't make for a pleasant statue, but at this point it just needed to be stopped.
"Let's go! Look alive, you scalawags!" she calls out (with affection, certainly) as she stops to make sure her crew is making it.
Illuria isn't fazed by the blood-bath, but it does slow her down when it comes to time to get out of the area.
"Let's move out!" Illuria shouts, eager to be away from the disgusting monstrosity.
Squeezing through tight spots is just part of the pirate's life, and Illuria has no trouble -- even pausing to make sure her crew is making it through safely.
Illuria grimaces from the bites, but the poison is negligible. Wishing she had her gaze attack to finish this thing off -- even though it would make a horribly ugly statue -- she shifts tactics. Drawing her cutlass, she starts attacking the legs of the beast, hoping to find a real or metaphorical Achilles heel.
Illuria gets hit with a decent amount of blood, but she's used to arterial spray so she's unfazed. Seeing the creature regenerate, she holsters her pistol. "Poison time."
She jukes, feints, and moves close enough for her snakes to sink their fangs into the exposed flesh of the center head -- after letting Betty unleash her gout of flames.
"Catch!" Illuria shouts as she tosses a stolen grenade at the tri-cyclops. Then in a smooth motion, she draws her heretofore unused flintlock pistol and shoots the grenade so that it blows up in its faces!
Illuria snatches one of her snakes that started coiling toward Zindarel. "No!" Gripping it around its neck, she pulls the head directly in front of her face. "No," she scolds it. The snake pouts, but doesn't try again. "Good hit, Betty. Next room, then?" |