Igor of Caliphas's page

Here comes the Boon! 1d20 ⇒ 5

Don't forget to apply Igor's -4 penalty to Boon checks. ;)

Everything looks cool on the chronicle. Good game everyone.

We here at the Starbucks Shipping Company would like to apologize for the spelling error on your shipping invoice that led to someone named 'Vindex' getting your [Relgar's] Adventure with an Igor Contest™ prize. The error--a problem with one of our autocorrecting imps, has been rectified and the offending imp sent back to the pits of Hell for further training. We hope that the issue has not put you off Igors as a whole, and that your adventure 'adjacent' to Igor showed you the added value of having a multi-functional Igor in your band of intrepid adventurers now and in the future, in spite of not being the 'master' this time around.

And of course there will be more chances to win!

That said, in compensation, we are shipping you, Regdar, one free-of-charge, trial Igor. Looking you up we see that you are currently residing in the World of Greyhawk. Congratulations! You should see your Igor in the mail soon.

Sincerely,
Head of Marketing, Starbucks Shipping

"No, no! I need to know if you are inthured? Are you covered? Do you have medical inthuranthe before we begin treatment?" says the scarred man.

"If you are, we can begin. Thrapth, hand me the aneththetic."

Scraps hands the healer his morningstar.

Igor smiles horribly and begins the treatment. "You won't feel a thing. Or at leatht you won't remember feeling a thing."

"Tho you are thaying there wath an ambuthh? Hm." Igor asks again on the journey back, unconvinced.

"Well at leatht it ith all over now. Alath it ith not the only thing drawing to a clothe. By the termth of the 'Adventure with an Igor Contetht™' my thervithe to Mathter Relgar here hath come to an end." he says slapping Vindex hard on the shoulder with a hand like a bundle of sausages.

We are getting close to the end.

Could I please get everyone to list in this thread:

Player Name:
Character Name:
PFS #:
Faction:
Day Job Check:

See here.

Quote:

@Davor: You've got a case of rabies; the onset time means it doesn't have any impact in the scenario itself, but it's still a condition that you need to clear before I issue your Chronicle.

Not sure how, as this is my first scenario... he's penniless and no one will vouch for him at this time! lol

I noticed that Igor has a Heal bonus of +12, so if he'd be so kind as to use his skill to Treat Disease on Davor on the boat ride back, that would help him with a +4 to his save... assuming that's a go:

"I'm pretty thure I thtarted here. Are you inthured?"

Relgar wrote:

"Ambush!"

"WHERE!?!"

"Thrapth, do you thee an ambuthh?"

"Ambush!"

"WHERE!?!"

"I'll block from the front, anyone who has ranged attacks can stay behind me. Not a lot of people want to try and walk through a Naginata pointed at them."

"Lets go. And can someone get this place lit up?"

"Thertainly, Mathter." Igor says producing his wayfinder attached by a chain like a pocketwatch to his coat.

Igor activates the wayfinder's light and shines it ahead with one hand, while hefting his huge spiked club with the other.

Zarjkil wrote:

"Might want to make sure the gate does not close on someone as they try to get past it." Zarjkil suggested.

"A little help?"

Casting of Guidance and any aids on Perception checks and/or Disable Device checks greatly appreciated.

@GM: Is it possible for Arioch to use his Disable Device to 'disable' the gate and keep it in the open position? If so, and with Guidance for both attempts, Arioch's take 10 (without any aid) would be 19 Perception and 22 Disable Device.

"Thertainly, thir."

disable device (aid another): 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (4) + 10 = 14

"You would be thurprithed how utheful thethe are when gathering the thupplieth needed to conduct my work from local themeterieth." says Igor producing a set of expert lock picks.

"Thcrapth! Protect the Mathter!" Igor says "I'll thee to the rabieth tetht thubje--err, our wounded comrade."

Igor hops over to Davor to see to the man's leg. It takes 10 minutes to help treat a disease, so probably no Heal check roll yet.

Igor bends over to inspect the wound closely then straightens as much as he ever does with a serious expression on his otherwise hideously comic face.

"Does it hurt when I do thith?" he says before kicking Davor smartly in the shin.

"I am not much for combat but an extra set of eyes is always useful." Zanjkil said as he joined Davor.

"Did you need thome? I might have thome to thpare."

He begins patting his pockets.

Igor notifies his master as draw near the island. "Mathter. Mathter. We have arrived at our final dethtinathion."

Igor has a look at Mumbuckle's journal.

I'm gonna assume bless has expired. Since everyone else seems to be at max hp he will avail himself of the potion of cure light wounds.

potion of cure light wounds: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (5) + 1 = 6

"Ugh. Yuck. It wath pumpkin thpīthed."

Igor sets about rearranging his stitches so as to appear to be a totally different Igor--not that that makes him look any different to his companions.

Then he applies a makeshift bandana eye-patch.

He begins to practice saying "ARR."

Igor looks to his master to come up with a brilliant plan.

Mumbuckle croaks back sullenly: "Yes."

"Oh good! I thought we had the wrong thhip there for a moment." Igor says turning to the others.

Cool wand command phrase: "One tap might do it."

Igor looks down on the amphibian and says "Ecthuthe me, but ith thith the Lionfithh?"

Theoretically, Igor can use wands whose spells he has on his list of formulae. I find the rule to be kinda dumb myself so, he just never has and at the time it was offered he didn't really need it (he could still take a few hits and I figured it was worth stopping the bombs and splash weapons that were about to come the party's way). Besides, look at him, Igor is a man of science (fiction), not magic. ;)

Kudos to Igor and Scraps for being so utterly unappealing. They are a very interesting (if disgusting) pair. :)

All credit goes to author Terry Pratchett and his incredibly awesome and funny Discworld series. My Igor stands shakily upon the hunched shoulders of stitched up giants.

"Save the guy who can tell us where Alejia is? Might be a good idea."

"Hmm. I've only ever dithected thethe before."

Igor sets about stabilizing the frog.

heal v Mumbuckle: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (5) + 12 = 17

He sets about stabilizing anyone else as well.

Igor points to the outfield wall with his bat, before taking his swing.

mwk morningstar (AoO) vs Greyish-brown (bless, flank, v climber): 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (10) + 8 = 18 damage: 1d8 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 2 = 10

Igor sniff the stick pointed at him suspiciously before accepting it. He chews on the end with a collection of what might be other peoples (or beasts?) teeth before digging the tip into his ear and working it around a bit before handing it back and saying "Err, thankth, I gueth."

Then the misshapen man (who's not even 'bloodied' yet) bounds off after the little frog man with his big spiked bludgeon raised high over his head, bellowing like a slightly singed beast.

mwk morningstar vs Grey-brown (bless, flank, v climber): 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (19) + 8 = 27 damage: 1d8 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6

Reflex v DC 13: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (3) + 6 = 9

"koff, koff."

Scraps' alchemist's fire hit Black. Black will take another 1d6 damage next round if he doesn't get the fire out.

Well there's plenty of water to put it out with. ;)

Igor is up.

Igor scuttles forward over the bodies like a crab with a bad limp and readies himself to play 'whack-a-toad'.

Igor drops Red. Igor, you can take your move action if you desire.

Igor shuffles forward quickly down what looks like a short stair to help his master.

Scraps tanglefoot bag hit Mumbuckle, but he made the Reflex save so is entangled but not anchored. (and thanks for marking off the resource--I appreciate it when I don't have to remind players!).

I try to keep it updated in the moment, if only for PC bookkeeping, but don't always succeed.

Igor bops the sailor before him in the head like someone might in a Three Stooges short.

mwk morningstar v Red (bless): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (18) + 7 = 25 damage: 1d8 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6

If that fells Red, Igor might move forward.

Igor attempts to get the drop on the man from behind.

mwk morningstar v Red (bless, flanking): 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (1) + 8 = 9 damage: 1d8 + 2 ⇒ (1) + 2 = 3

But his big, spiked club clangs off of a delicate, elven blade coming the other way.

"Thrapth! I told you to look after the Mathter!" shouts Igor after his wayward creation.

After a deep sigh he hoists himself up the side of the ship muttering to himself. "If you want thomething done right...."

Once on deck he readies himself to wallop the first foe to draw near.

"Let me go first, Mathter. Igor will scout for you. Thrapth, tend to Mathter."

He does likewise, taking 10 for 19--unless the boat is made of rocky terrain in which case its 21.

Igor of Caliphas wrote:

"Would Mathter care for a beverage, or an in-voyage thnack?"

"No."

"How about thome in-voyage entertainment. I have a thome puppetth, and Thrapth here knowth thome folk dantheth. We could-"

Igor finds a dwarf nearby named Smulwarts Gultrock. She's willing to ferry the party out to the Lionfish for the sum of 5 gp.

Relgar has secured a pouch of 10 gold to use for bribes and tolls at the beginning of the adventure if this helps to expedite the decision making process. :)

"THOLD!" Igor says to the dwarf, indicating that Relgar should pay the woman.

He sees to it that his master is seated first.

"Would Mathter care for a beverage, or an in-voyage thnack?"

Igor calls upon all of his personal assistant skills to find a dignified way for his master to cross.

Profession (personal assistant): 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (10) + 8 = 18

Relgar has no sympathy for ruffians and has no compunctions of immolating this thug should he get out of line.

"See if he has anything good to take and what his business is. Anyone that tries to rough us up deserves to leave with empty pockets at the very least!"

"Yeth. We'll have no truck with theiveth." Igor agrees with a firm nod as he paws at the thieves' pockets.

Vindex barks a short laugh, then makes a face scowling at the weapon the man is holding. "Also, what is this sap s*~#? Get yourself a real weapon if you're going to run protection...."

"Like thith, Mathter?" Igor enthusiastically offers his huge spiked morningstar up as an example.

Diplomacy (aid another): 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 0

Seeing Zarjkil do his best impression of Edvard Munch's The Scream in a nearby five-foot rectangle of space, Igor drops his hanky and pulls forth his morningstar. "Thtay near me, Mathter! I thhall protect you!"

The Pathfinders head back to the docks, past a series of cheap grog houses and warehouses, both filled with rum-soaked merchants, labourers, and ship’s crews. Here, inns and shops have grimed windows and peeling paint. Riddleport doesn't make a good impression on travelers, unless they're looking for something of a more disreputable flavour.

"Why Mathter, it'th amathing!" says Igor pointing out all of "creaky doorwayth" "leaky awningth" "hanging cobwebth" and "loothe thhutters.

"If only the other Igorth back home could thee thith plathe! It'th-It'th tho 'atmothpheric.'"

After speaking his piece to his master, he pulls a handkerchief forth from his sleeve and begins dabbing it at the front of Vindex shirt.

Suddenly, along an otherwise deserted stretch of the wharves, a pair of burly half-orcs jump out of an alleyway, each holding a sap. A fierce dog accompanies them, teeth bared! "We'll teach youse ta turn down Boss Croat's protection!"

"They thertainly have pulled out all of the thtopth for uth, Mathter." says the hunchback admiringly.

After a moment's reflection, he goes back to dabbing dry the moisture from Vindex's tabard.

Arioch presents his Wand of Cure Light Wounds for Zarjkil to use on Iatha Oedricius.

In the same tone of voice as Scott Evil, Igor says "But I have a pothion. I could jutht get it off my belt and give it to her."

Then after some consideration he adds "Bethideth in her condithion I doubt thhe will be able to get that down... or is applied rectally?"

And what about the momentarily blinded and bound lady who Igor nearly tripped over, herself?

Obviously still 'caught in the moment' Igor waves his spiked club at the woman and says "Mathter, should I further incapathitate the previouthly incapthitated one?"

Assuming that drops the man...

Igor gallops ahead to confront the last man, lowering the boom.

mwk morningstar v white (guidance): 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (12) + 6 = 18 damage: 1d8 + 2 ⇒ (3) + 2 = 5

Igor is obviously having fun. It is rare for him to be part of the torch-wielding mob chasing someone else. Moving in a lurching skip he rushes through the maze tongue lolling like a bloodhound.

"Thank goodness that the Mathter knowth thethe men to not be our allieth." Igor sprays toward Arioch as he rushes past and into the fray.

morningstar v red: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (7) + 5 = 12 damage: 1d8 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 2 = 8

"Well/ on the pluth thide there'th water." Igor thinks out loud to himself.

Vindex returns from the east door after verifying it is barred to see Arioch unlock the side entrance. "Good work. I'm ready to rush them when we throw the door."

Vindex readies his Naginata and balances on the balls of his feet, ready to spring into action with a predatory gleam in his eye.

Igor, standing beside his master pulls his big spiked club off his back, and lines it up like a baseball player testing his swing on his master's butt prepared to make sure that his master gets as much acceleration as possible.

Investigation shows that the western loading door is also barred from the inside. However, the side door only has a flimsy lock that should be easy to break or pick.

Off camping--back in 48.

2048? ;)

Should be 4 rounds to get over there and try the door.

We could double move unless we're are trying to be stealthy, the noise from the rain on the warehouse roof will most-likely cover us on that end.

Igor shrugs ( ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) and hustles along behind his 'Mathter'.

Seeing the weather turn for the worse Arioch retrieves his poncho and puts it on before venturing out into the rain.

Looking at Vindex Arioch will say, "Same thing that went for Fester over there (gesturing at Igor) goes for you - I ain't the hired help."

Igor is taken aback with his uneven number of fingers splayed all pointing back at himself in a gesture signifying "ME!? Really!?" it quickly turns to indignation. He gets in Arioch's face and says "We've only jutht met, but I'll have you know that I am the hired help here, thir."

Fortunately it is raining so it is hard to notice the spray from his lisp.

Igor provides a stable footing as his master climbs up and then again back down.

"Alright. We throw the door, go in hard and fast, try to overwhelm them before they can react. I'll try to get to the woman and make sure they can't hurt her or use her as a hostage. Everyone good with that?"

"Yeth, Mathter."

"Thcrapth, go up through the window and thee what you can thee."

Hopefully the rain will help cover any noise.

Igor looks proudly upon his work.

Employees and customers alike steer well clear of Igor, and there's a noticeable bubble of empty chairs and stools around him.

"That'th thtrange. generally I can make friendth quickly. For inthtanth, I made Thcrapth here."

Igor decides it is best just to hit the local dive when one is searching for a missing and adventuresome master. When the party arrives he is already there taking chemical samples.

"Ah you must be the Mathter, Mathter." He cleans a space at the bar with his own cleaning aids, and ushers Vindex over to take the seat. "Come Mathter, sit, let Igor tend to your needth."

While he is there (and if left to his own devices) Igor chats with the serving crew in that way he has.

diplomacy (gather info... about where he is): 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (2) - 1 = 1

A hideous, hunched man in a black cassock falls out of the sarcophagus-sized box feet first in an avalanche of packing material.

He gets to his feet uncurling himself though not as much as one might have hoped or expected.

The hunched stranger turns to the man and asks "Did you thtow thith?"

The stranger's pronounced lisp moistens the stevedore like sea spray. "Thee thith? He indicates a downward-pointed white arrow painted on the side of his crate with the words 'this end up' stenciled upside down above it. He glares at the longshoreman, a very disconcerting glare when one takes into account all the scars, and the relative sizes and spacing of the stranger's eyes.

After a long moment he brushes himself clean of packing wood ships, snatches the crowbar and carefully opens the other box. After inspecting the contents for damage he asks "Where ith the Mathter?" and arranges to join him.

"Did you call, Game Marthter?"

Player Great Green God
Character Igor of Caliphas
PFS # 139009-68
Faction Scarab Sages
Advancement Standard
Day Job Craft (alchemy): 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (2) + 14 = 16

"You thaid 'Thcrapth', but it'th pronounthed Thcrapth, with an eth, thee?"

"Thcrapth the Glorious! May his spiny claws bring honor undying to his clan," Thundering Bull explains, pointing to Scraps. "He was in the crate too, yes?"

"OH! You mean Thcrapth."