Yep. Oh well.
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You should put your faith in more concrete things Fritz!
Huzzah! Excellent! A chance to practice Heinrich mixes together something that begins to smoke and fizzle in his hands and then chucks it at the orcs - preferrably at a clump of them.
For DM: How many characters do you want me to roll up? I might be burning through a few of them.
There is always time to learn, Fritz! Science demands constant work. He'll pull out some suspicious looking chemicals. That field looks fortuitously flammable!
I say good sir - do you think you could use some help? I admit I'm not the strongest person but give me a lever large enough and I could move a cow. Wait, that doesn't sound right.
Ok, how about a fife?
Ach, that is terrible! How could any songwriter be so illogical as to have one million tankards of beer? They'd spoil before you even got to the nine hundred ninety nine thousand, nine hundreth tankard! Does anyone have a drum or something to help us march in time?
Hey! I could too be a spy! I have all sorts of neat tricks a spy could use, like my rope-throwing lantern or the smoke bomb that looks like a dinner roll! And of course there's this! Here Heinrich flourishes a small green glass bottle. With this I could do all sorts of things... His eyes get a bit glassy again before he snaps out of it. I'll show you, telling me I couldn't be a spy. But a spy might have to dye his hair. And I can't be an alchemist without white hair! OK, I won't be a spy. He grumbles a bit as he goes up to get some sleep. In his sleep he speaks about alchemical formulae in Dwarven. He appears to be devising a way to dye rocks purple.
Perhaps he'd like to see new advances in alchemical science! That mayor looked most impressed before his drapes caught on fire from my Self-Motivated Mobile Torch!
I have a philter for that!
Heinrich smiles broadly - a little too broadly. It's actually kind of intimidating with the gleam in his eye and the lamplight reflecting from the goggles perched on top of his head. Excellent! I can tell this will be the beginning of a grand experi-er, I mean adventure. Before we start out I don't suppose you all could tell me if you have a violent reaction to mercury?
Heinrich stops trying to distill his wine over a candle at the mention of a fire-raining circus folk. Did you say a circus?! You see Fritz? I always told you that circuses were trouble - underneath that clown makeup lies the hearts of depraved madmen. Not to mention the rejection of my proposal for pyrotechnics - fire hazard they say. Well we'll show them. We'll show them all! Heinrich laughs what he thinks is quietly to himself as everyone turns to stare at the maniacal laughter. Klaus pecks the side of Heinrich's head and he snaps out of it. A pleasure to meet you Miles! We should talk, I'm developing just the thing for the romantic quest, a philter made of cinnabar and orpiment. Now, you may have heard some distressing things but I assure you hair loss can be perfectly temporary should you find a cleric in time.
I'd advise against it actually - I regret having it on my cleric for inbetween healing or mass heals. But whatever floats your boat!
I wasn't planning on going to Capital City although that could be where the doom is. It is very important to observe doom in its natural habitat, scientifically speaking.
Seeds, he always eats seeds. Well sometimes small berries or bread crumbs but seeds are best.
No, no it was Klaus who heard about the doom and didn't get the details. He shakes Clyde's hand, even though it wasn't offered. Call me Pete, everyone does.
A quest! What kind of quest? Scientific? Magical? Romantic?
I graduated three months ago! Didn't I tell you? Heinrich sits and thinks for a second. Well, I may have sent a note, did you get a note? Well it's hardly material to the point. The point is that Klaus heard a rumor about impending doom, which as you know is the worst kind of doom. He points to the pigeon on his shoulder which coos in the affirmative. The pigeon has what looks suspiciously like stitching around its neck. Since you pay more attention to non-alchemical matters I figured you might know what kind of doom it is and how we can respond. Heinrich gets the gleam in his eye that means he has a good idea exactly how large the explosion might need to be to deal with the impending doom.
I didn't make the wine, I bought it in the street from a passing wine cart. Or soap vendor, the sign wasn't very clear but the liquid did look promising! Flipping out a folio he begins to scribble notes with a pencil. Don't buy wine from Herr...um, he had red hair. Don't buy wine from the red haired wine merchant using a blue cart. Excellent note. He then calls for a glass of white wine to which he subjects further rigorous examination.
Heinrich happily ignores the newcomers as he is putting his own wine into a test tube and peering into it with one eye pressed against the glass. He'll turn to Fritz and thrust the vial at him. Are there too many tannins in this wine? They called me mad when I presented my paper, but I know I'm right. Tannins are bad for the teeth!
Proposed Character: Heinrich von Geiselschmidt is a classic mad scientist - he attended the Academy of Unsound Science where he majored in Alchemical Studies: which is a major about the history of alchemists, not about the science of alchemy since Heinrich didn't score high enough in his placement exam to be an accredited alchemist. He eventually graduated due to a clerical oversight and a desire to keep him from flooding the dining hall with chlorine gas a third time during the dean's lunch. Since he doesn't actually know what Alchemists do he's concentrated on the field of bomb-making and explosives because he believes that's the essence of alchemical science - he's also developed a special mutagen in order to boost his intelligence in order to allow him to become more alchemically capable. He has a pet pigeon named Klaus that he talks to, and powders his hair which flies in every direction because real alchemists have wild white hair, and carries a number of classic accoutrements not based on usefulness but because they're part of the alchemist costume. |