DogFace's page

Facing the gate -- at the fencepost marked "1" -- DogFace draws his scimitar and moves two more fenceposts to his right and then climbs the fence turns.

He then sneaks through the marsh, trying to be as quiet as he can.
He doesn't like the water in his boots.

And he looks around for anything shiny as he moves along, finally winding up underneath the ladder after walking the perimeter of the ship.

DogFace licks the blade of his scimitar, his brain struggling with the idea of thinking.

Why we be here, he wonders. Drizzal was right. We should have gone to get treasure from seven-legged spider bug instead of coming to this old ship where there is no treasure and where there is no spider.

DogFace trembles at the sound of a horse.
He's grossed-out and afraid of horses.

One time -- when he was a Goblin cub -- his brothers beat the shit out of him.

While they were doing that, DogFace noticed a jagged rock.

He picked the rock up and smashed it into his brother's eye.

Ever since then, DogFace has tried to look around.
Because when you look around you see things that are not there.

Perception Check
1d20 ⇒ 15

Does DogFace see anything?

DogFace looks from Drizzal to Slugglethorn and back to Drizzal again.
His mind went slowly blank at the thought of this decision coming down to him.
Things like this were easier when some other goblin told you what to do.

Pointing a finger back and forth between the two, he says,
Eenie, meanie, miney, moe, catch a dwarf by it's toe ...

DogFace rolls a mental die in his head. 1= Slugglethorn, 2 = Drizzal
1d2 ⇒ 1

Me think Slugglethorn be right. We don't find fireworks, then Chief kill us dead and put us our heads on pole. Me don't want me head on pole. Me want to make Chief happy. Then we come back and get big spider with seven legs' treasure later. Okay?

Hey Drizza! Hey, Slugglethorn! You and you want to follow trail of spider webs and see if dead spider thing with only seven legs had treasure?

He looked from Dog Face to the spider and back, "Think you cook down the venom from that spider?" he asked with a lift of a brow.

Intelligence Roll (to see whether DogFace knows how to cook a spider down to the venom)

DogFace's ugly mouth is hanging open, and his eyes are vacant.
He then turns to Drizzal, makes a slight shrug, and points to the dead spider with his scimitar.

Me do not know what 'cook down venom' mean, and me not know what 'venom' mean. Me know how to cook animal or big bug to eat, and me add curry and garlic make it taste good and keep vampire away but me not know what it mean to cook big seven-legged spider that was alive and now be dead and what 'venom' mean.

DogFace wiggles his scimitar out of the ground and looks around.

"Big seven-legged spider bug look dead to me. That be good if spider be dead. That mean spider don't bite DogFace. Can me can cook spider and eat spider? Or " ... he points to Slugglethorn and Drizzal ... "do me and you and you keep going down the trail through this swampy land with thorns?"

DogFace is beginning to think that sautéed spider might make for a pretty good lunch, but first he raises the scimitar over his head and brings it slashing down on the critter's head.

I hate spiders that are alive!, DogFace yells.

Standard Move = Attack = 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (8) + 4 = 12

And the scimitar comes ker-thunking down into the dirt right in front of the spider's face.

DogFace's whole body rattles from the shock.

Crit Hit Confirmation = 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (6) + 4 = 10

damm it :)

"GAWWWWWD!! That HURT you big nasty spider thing with lots of big legs and big mouth turned sidewats!"

DogFace stumbles from the bite, but gets his balance back while a trying to figure out why there's a weird tingling feeling in his wound. DogFace used to watch spiders eat houseflies when he was a goblin pup, so he's surprised he's not wrapped up and hanging in a web. He is a little disappointed, since he'd always wondered what that'd be like.

back to top of initiative order, right?

DogFace raises his scimitar over his head and slashes down on the spider's "face".

"Die! You seven-legged spider thing with yellow blood!"

Attack = 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (10) + 4 = 14
Scimitar Damage = 1d4 + 2 ⇒ (1) + 2 = 3

Move Action: DogFace whips out his scimitar.
Standard Action: DogFace attacks with it.

DogFace shrieks -- "KILL BIG-ASS BUG!"

Attack = 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 = 23
Damage = 1d4 + 2 ⇒ (3) + 2 = 5

Perception Check = 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (20) + 0 = 20

DogFace ready go. Become great Goblin warrior. Kill monsters. The smaller the better. Make chief happy.

DogFace raises his dogslicer and rattles it in the air!

DogFace says "Eenie, meanie, minie, moe, catch a --"

Me can't remember the rest of the funny way to say something.

He chooses one with his eyes shut:
1d3 ⇒ 2

"Me take four paper candles. You two decide about the rest."

DogFace nods.
"Okay. Me cook meat for Slugglethorn."

He looks one way then the other, hoping to find a chicken, goose, duck, rat, or just whatever.

Perception Check:1d20 ⇒ 20

Suddenly, he spots a huge, bloated opossum digging through a pile of old bones and garbage.

He slashes it with his dog-slicer, which makes DogFace smile.
He likes the dog-slcer.
He likes it a lot.

He shoves the dead opossum onto a sharpened stick.
He then uses his dagger to cut off its head.
And he places the head in his pocket.
DogFace always thought it'd be handy to own a head.

He cooks the opossum -- fur and all -- over the fire, using the critter's own fat for basting.
He then adds salt, pepper, basil, dirt, mustard seed, curry, lemon, parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme.

He then hands it to Slugglethorn.
"You eat. Me sleep."

"DogFace get cooked meat, eat cooked meat, then go to sleep with cooked meat in his belly."

DogFace nods and throws the ring at Slugglethorn.

"Here your ring. Keep your ring. Me want dog-slicer. Me hate dog. Me hate dog more than me hate horse. Horse taste good if cooked, though."

He then picks up the Elixer and shows it to Drizzal.

"Do you want this? If not, me use it to marinate horse meat next time we kill horse. Me know how to marinate. Works good on pig, too. And goat. Make cooked meat taste even good-er."

He then points to the robe.

"Now, who get weird robe full of weird things? Me'mother wore robe. I never wear robe because me'mother wore robe and me'mother name me after dog. Me never wear robe. Ever. Never."

1d20 + 11 ⇒ (18) + 11 = 29
1d20 + 11 ⇒ (14) + 11 = 25
1d20 + 11 ⇒ (6) + 11 = 17

Me do it, too! Me make great Goblin warrior! Me kill monsters now!

DogFace, can see in the dark, so from his hiding spot he tries very hard to watch what Drizzal is up to ...

Perception:1d20 ⇒ 9

But it be awfully DARK out here in the night time. Me notice this before about night, after the sun go down. Even when big fire roaring, and cooking meat on big fire, night time still dark. Make DogFace wonder why.

DogFace hides as well: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (14) + 11 = 25

Dusting himself off after the fall from the mammoth pig, DogFace briefly pauses at the the lack of harsh words from Drizzal.

But the slug gets his attention before he can think this through.

And so, DogFace rushes -- practically leaping -- so that he's right in front of Slorb, his hands held out like he's taking communion.

"Me gobble down slug in one bite. Good protein. Good for bowels."

Fortitude Check, with + 4 modifier
1d20 + 4 ⇒ (11) + 4 = 15

His oversize dog-like mouth is chock full of slimy black slug, while oily black ooze drips between his razor-sharp teeth. DogFace swallows in one huge gulp, regurgigates a bit, and swallows again. He feels slightly queasy, but that passes quickly enough because it's best not to think about ... well, anything.

So, he wipes his face with his sleeve, holds up his arms, and starts a victory dance in the middle of the festival.

"DogFace eat slug! DogFace eat slug! DogFace eat slug!"

"Me ride pig! Get out of Dogface's way. Me ride pig. Me kill pig. Me make fire. Me cook pig. Me eat pig.

1d20 + 3 ⇒ (20) + 3 = 23
1d20 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12
1d20 + 3 ⇒ (17) + 3 = 20

Seeing the bag shake and a dog (or something just as horrible) appear out of nowhere makes DogFace's stomach turn.

He gulps back a mouthful of puke.

The site of this nasty animal makes DogFace whip out his scimitar, its blade reflecting the fire light.

"That thing get near me, me kills it dead and grinds its bone into smaller bits of bone!"

DogFace stares at the fireworks with a gaping, open mouth and a blank, almost lifeless stare.

"Fire. Me like fire. Me like fire in sky."

DogFace points at Slugglethorn, uses a crooked, nasty finger to motion for him to follow along.

"You come to bonfire, too. Eat meat. Me knows who's you are. You not talk much. Me know why."

Bluff: 1d20 - 4 ⇒ (8) - 4 = 4

DogFace stares blankly at Drizzal, then looks from him to Slugglethorn to the Chief, and finally back at Drizzal.

"That's what I said. She", he says, shuffling his feet.

Damn. If me Ma hadn't looked like me Pa then this stuff wouldn't be so hard for me. Besides, why we talk when we could be eating?

He turns back to the others.

"We go to bonfire now, yes? Get cooked meat. Eat cooked meat. Then go down trail in swamp. Kill rats and hobbits on the way. Get fireworks. Be heroes."

"Vorka! Me knows Vorka. Vorka eat deep-fried goblin with side of collard greens. Vorka stupid. He should eat horse or dog or bones".

DogFace then scratches a few bristly whiskers on his chin and it dawns on him that he might be talking about the bones too much, especially since Drizzal mentioned magic. Dogface takes two steps to his left.

"Me knows the way down that creek. Me show you and you and you to where Vorka live and eat goblin with collard greens and that's where we and you and you find fireworks. But if we see wild dogs, me run. And if we see giant cockroach, me run. And if we see monster, me run."

But if me see big-ass snake, me kill it and cook it over fire. Snake taste just like chicken.

DogFace looks at Drizzal and begins to drool.
"Why you got bag of bones if you ain't eating bag of bones? Bones good in stew. Bones good on spittle. Bones taste good with big jug of human wine."

DogFace then cocks his head sideways, like a confused dog.
Why are they talking about maps when I was talking about food?

Dogface looks at Slugglethorn and shudders.

The site of other goblins always makes his skin crawl because it reminds him that he's even uglier than they are.

"Me named Dogface because me' parents said I had face like dog, which tastes good if you cook and add pepper. Me can also ride horse if me finds horse, and then me kill horse, and then me cooks horse over big fire. Dogface good cook. Make tasty vittles."

Dogface then stands, bows to Chief Rendwattle Gutwad, does not meet the chief's eyes, and says,
"Master, you want me to cook over big bon fire tonight, Master? Me does whatever Chief wants me do, including cook horse and dog over big fire.

Knowledge Check:1d20 ⇒ 11

Gameplay up now. Post when you got the feeling to post. Your avatar is good Dogface but it creeps me out a lot ;)

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Start whenever y'all are ready!

Fighter or Rogue? Hmm, I'll take the Rogue as we already have a Fighter and Wizard.

A Goblin will make a really good rogue/thief

DogFace is coming along.

Link: Dogface

What do you think of the avatar?
I'm debating between this one and the Goblin-cartoon wearing a chef's hat.