Creat the Cheat's page

*Sprong!* *SPLASH!* "Damn! I didn't want to enlarge the enemy!"

@Thrawn007: I've played The Festering Blot, but would be interested in either of the other two parts if anybody drops and you need a replacement.

"And he said 'but everyone knows the festering blot is the best part.'"

Creat picks up the tipsy dwarf's beard, and hands it back to him. "Here you go buddy. You might want to try some sovereign glue on that."

Behind Xanderghul's statue (Runelord of Pride)

A plush red carpet runs down this narrow corridor between wood-paneled walls polished to a high sheen. Floating lanterns cast a gentle glow into each alcove flanking the corridor, where bodies wrapped in pristine linen are laid to rest in niches. Rather than the clammy chill of most underground rooms, this chamber is pleasantly warm, and the soothing sound of chimes tinkles softly in the distance.

will save: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (9) - 1 = 8

"Holy mother of Mammon!" Creat says with reverence. It only takes a moment of wide eyed blinking before he sets to work. Creat hauls out all the conveniently light-weight treasure that he can!

"Jewel-studded doilies!" Pointing to the stack adorning his head. "I mean come on! You have to rich to own jewel-studded doilies! What's crazier than putting diamonds on your table linen--Oh. My. Patron gods... PANTS! Look at these!! I'm putting these on right now!"

Creat begins stripping off his pants.

"What?"

Yeah, I did sort of notice that Table 1's link disappeared around mid-September. ;)

But that's okay, it's sort of Creat's thing to go on long, long, LONG adventures. That night that Ray and I spent with Kalkamedes lasted like SIX MONTHES!

WHOOT! Second level!

At this rate, Creat should reach 4th level by Trump's third term. ;)

Thanks for hangin' in everyone!

Izzik's Turn

Izzik tries to stab and back off, as instructed.

"I hit it!" Izzik rejoices as he finally contributed.

"Don't get cocky kid!"

rapier: 1d20 + 4 - 4 ⇒ (11) + 4 - 4 = 11 damage: 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2

Technically, Creat has to move out of the way after the above attack so that Izzik can get in--unless he is tossing his dagger. Then he wait for Izzik to attack twice and get out of the way so that he can get back in. Though the map looks a bit gacked at the moment.

"Well don't tell him that!"

Creat delays until Tyranius steps aside or is paralyzed (in which case he shoves him over), then he takes his place and...:

1d20 + 4 - 4 ⇒ (8) + 4 - 4 = 8 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

"RRRR!"

Creat delays! --Er, what he said.

Creat worries the ghoul's feet with his rapier, then steps to the side to allow someone else into his spot.

rapier (cover): 1d20 + 4 - 4 ⇒ (16) + 4 - 4 = 16 damage: 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3

"Someone was being lazy."

mwk rapier (flank): 1d20 + 4 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 4 + 2 = 8 damage: 1d6 + 1 + 1d6 ⇒ (6) + 1 + (5) = 12

"'Valeros'? What about me!?"

mkw rapier (flank): 1d20 + 4 + 2 ⇒ (9) + 4 + 2 = 15 damage: 1d6 + 1 + 1d6 ⇒ (5) + 1 + (2) = 8

"What? You mean me?!"

Creat cautiously moves in.

Full defensive. +4 AC.

"You think there might be some kind of reward for waking them?"

Creat puts a hand over Ray's eyes.

Tyranius tries the chime, but the door still seems locked. It is protected by an Arcane Lock higher caster level than 15th.

Small hint: This chamber might be associated with a certain deadly sin... maybe one which is evoking a certain feeling because you can't get in. ;)

Creat would consider lust, but he doesn't swing that way and besides is too slothful to try.

"Yeah, you said it, Beaky. Even our open any door key doesn't work."

Creat beams. I don't have ny problem using one now.

disable device: 1d20 + 10 + 1 ⇒ (11) + 10 + 1 = 22

"But I don't wanna go to school mom!--WHAT!? Whoa, I saw my whole glaive flash before my eyes."

$$ I'm going with looting the place! $$ AFTER someone detects for magic.

If anyone's got some guidance to offer, and maybe some resistance just in case, Creat takes it before making the roll. He also tries to make sure folks are way back.

disable device: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (15) + 10 = 25

Lock picks fly everywhere.

"Don't do that!" Creat says through teeth still clenched around one particularly interesting thief's tool. "And thand back, I don't know what thith doeth yet."

Before the statue of Krune.

"See this guy's got the right idea, kick back and take it easy."

He takes his time, and looks over the secret door.

sense motive: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (7) + 1 = 8

Well, it looks safe.

will save: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (17) - 1 = 16

"Say Tyranius, you don't think these were the sort of people who--you know--put gold coins up their nose to pay some underworld teamster to ferry them to wherever do you?"

"Well if it's silver it's worth something."

"Good point. But let's save it for last one of these others might connect up with it."

"Are you sure you don't want to be the first to open this, Ray?"

Assuming the obvious. Shrugging, Creat moves on to the next closest door hoping to find his big score.

Through careful aim, Laeowynne shoots another acid dart at the skeleton, and it's enough to cause it to collapse in a pile of bones.

Creat just sort of stares for a moment or two, while standing next to Valeros.

Izzik: "That was pretty terrifying! You guys are good!" Izzik goes to pick up his thrown dagger.

"Yeah. Yeah all part of the plan...." Creat looks at Laeowynne again.

+++++++++++++

Ray takes a few moments to examine the jewelry as he collects them up.

Creat daydreams about jewelry, his sap and Ray's head....

Valeros will carefully take the longsword in hand, weighing it a bit, testing it out before swapping out his with the newly found one, and then picks up the metal shield, strapping it to his arm.

He will then neatly make a pile with the scale mail he was wearing initially, the wooden shield he entered the dungeon with, and the longsword he brought with for later retrieval, if possible.

"Huh? Oh? Took your time putting all that stuff on. Sure you don't want the pole-arm. I think it some sort of lucerne hammer, or fauchard, or bec de corbin or maybe a partisan or ranseur.... Bill?" He muses turning the thing this way and that.

"So how about we finish off this corridor? Ray would you like go before me?"

Creat rolls 5-feet north.

Acrobatics (avoid AoO, full-round): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (14) + 7 = 21

sleight of hand (draw cold iron dagger): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (15) + 7 = 22

"Huh? My cousin's got those same boots. WHOA! SWORD!"

Delay until it is a tad safer to move.

Bluff: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (5) + 5 = 10

Creat dramatically clutches at his wound. "This is it! The big one! I-OW! You stepped on my hand!"

He hits Creat hard, downing the rogue.

The champion advances into Creat's square.

"Tag! Ugh...." THUD!

stabilization: 1d20 + 1 - 2 ⇒ (8) + 1 - 2 = 7

By the way I the player am not put off at all. I'm just giving you Creat's thoughts on the whole situation.

No worries, but remember to take your tent and sleeping bag. ;)

Creat somehow remains unsympathetic toward Laeowynne's point of view. As he is boxed in by his 'allies' and left with no hope of safe escape from the undead horror (i.e. a 5-foot move) while at the same time providing it cover(+4 AC from melee--for everyone but him--because everyone else is attacking around a corner) ;).

"Grrr."

mwk rapier: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (17) + 4 = 21 damage: 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (5) + 1 = 6

"Dude! Where the Hells are you going? I can't fight this thing! Look!" And to demonstrate he tries stabbing it in the place where its heart once was.

mwk rapier: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (15) + 4 = 19 damage: 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (5) + 1 = 6

Creat moves up and helps Valeros box it in.

rapier (cover): 1d20 + 4 - 4 ⇒ (20) + 4 - 4 = 20 damage: 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (5) + 1 = 6
THREAT!
confirm?: 1d20 + 4 - 4 ⇒ (14) + 4 - 4 = 14 damage: 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2

"Keep it wedged in there V! I'll head upstairs and find a cleric!"

"Creat, when you get done down there could you take a look in here to the west?"

"Hmm? Sure. Sure."

perception (+1 v traps): 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (11) + 5 = 16

Obviously he is still distracted by the image of Laeowynne's hair interposed with that of a statuesque blonde woman he once say jogging slowly down a beach....

Then if he is still alive he takes 20 (2 minutes) to disable the lock (total of 30).

"Huh? Sorry, I err, was translating the uh, wall here." Creat puts his hand over it.

perception (potion 1): 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (7) + 5 = 12

perception (potion 2): 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (18) + 5 = 23 "Is that a new hair cut?"

"'GET OUT THERE' NOT 'GET OUTTA THERE'! You're supposed to blow the zombie up with your awesome magical powers!! Grrr." Creat grinds his teeth.

"If you want something done right...." He grumbles.

"Hey you guys get out of there! Black arrow if ever you came from that open display case in that pawnshop on Pauper's avenue...."

Technically, I think we could have waited a moment with Leaowynne next to the door, he opens it and moves away (AoO because he wouldn't be able to withdraw safely, but maybe with cover from the doorframe), but this is funnier.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

[dice=unimproved reposition Leaowynne (CMB)]1d20+1[/dice] HA!

Creat grabs the elf by his belt and drags Leaowynne behind him.

"RAY! GET OUT THERE!"

JUST A REMINDER, THE DOOR IN FRONT OF THE ZOMBIE IS CLOSED. IT HAS BEEN BEATING ON THE DOOR TRYING TO TEAR IT DOWN, BUT IT CAN'T BE ATTACKED UNTIL THE DOOR IS EITHER DESTROYED OR OPENED.

The door seems to be about half-way knocked down.

"Heh. Zombies. It hasn't realized it just has to pull instead of push. Heh."

Gods! What are they doing? Just stand back, let the zombie out, blow it, and coincidentally the other it to heck. Done. What's so hard about that?

"Outta the way Ray! That thing's a specifically, this is a Lustspawn! It's an evil aberration immune to mental attacks and has is resistant to magic. And I can't see its butt from around your head! Err-I mean I can't get a bead on it with my bow!"

comp. shortbow v sin-spawn (imprecise): 1d20 + 4 - 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 - 4 = 19 damage: 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (6) + 1 = 7

Ray shoots a ray of frost at the monster.

Ah, but which monster? The zombie, the sin-spawn (Creat ID'd it, and assuming he survives long enough will clue everyone in on that), or Valeros! ;)

Knowledge (dungeoneering): 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (8) + 6 = 14

Will you look at that a-! *koff!*

Creat nobly turns to the misshapen horror and says in a heroic voice: "Do not worry madam. We've got this all under control."

"I DON'T THINK IT'S GOING AWAY!" Creat leaves off the door moves off and draws his bow.

Creat slams the door and braces it as best he can.

"Mom always said I should go to church more!"

All the ones I don't use for Kingmaker. ;)