Gonna come up with a Caniific post to truely bury this properly, it was a ride folks!
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Cani doesnt do much pre buffing, he is only a CL2 caster :). Oh hej, arent you in one of the great grandfathers of all play by posts that are still ongoing? Cani has heard of your exploits! You want travelguide to totally not plot relevant city?
Health be first first! Cani be asking pretty being with wings to give you +6 to Constitution!
Velvunk also called dancetroupe to fight and Yrva did long range dancing! Very cool was! Cani speaks exitedly uhhhhhhmmm, maybe you want dance too? Cani probably worse dancer then you but... maybe you want dance yesyes?
Oh, Lady Pethrak? I hopedope you have been well since we partied! Cani is a bit toungetied and messes up a formal greeting.
Awesome Kwiazy! You dance much better then Cani, where you learn this! Cani only won dancing competition in weird party town because other dancer had no legs, and Cani cunningly chose Squat Dance! Cani thinks Kwiazy could win that fairly! Other dancer was demon though, so Cani figured being fair be rude to their customs. Because Cani was amboozeador and must be very poolite! Cani is absolutely delighted by Kwiazys dancing skills.
Kwiazy very good smite smasher! Lets dance Squad-building-squat-dance-of-glorytorious-victory!
Cani starts squat dancing on the dead Froghemoths, he does a reasonably ok job.
Cani seeks to unload a can of righteous hemoth-head-hammering on the froghemoth.
Kwiazy Great Smiting buddy! Lets go maek merry drinkins once evilbeingz been smited! Cani acrobatically touches the Froghemoth pieces Kwiazy sends flying in all directions while singing paeans of praise. His next action would alas depend on wether the Froghemoth is still up after this onslaught.
I cast BOINK
There be more where that came from!
Something tried to taek my mind! Haha, Cani has cunning plan! Will stare around dazedly so evil beings thinks Cani be bamboozled and walks into smite range! Cani be super genius! Cani whispers, before pretending to be dazed.
Cani, you dont actually know what the effect would be, so how do you expect this to work? His mental subunit cautions, but Cani is too much in "I am dazed try to omnomnom me evil being" character to answer.
Huh? Something try to lure me out of smitemode?
But Cani wants to be dragon, and dragon be biting dangerous things!
Also, very pretty being with library wings be killing Demon Lords by biting them!
Menti pops her head out Its kissing not biting, there is a difference but it could be awkward to explain. The Phantom adds with a sigh.
Cani not be Dragon, yet! But maybe soon? Maeking Smite of evil mushroom dragon be what Apsu is wanting! Is interesting, first time Cani fights mushroom dragon. Has mostly fought Demon-beings and devil beings and daemon-beings and not-dead-bone beings, but cani not fought vs evil fake mushrom dragon being yet! Any of Cani-friends have experience? He pauses I can maek trade! Cani is expert Demon being fighter has fought in demon home place, although in prettiest part of demon home thankfully! Very important hint is to not maek bite attack on demon who be looking like flying meatball! Cani needed lots of bleach after making that mistake! Also, snekwomen Demon be bad at squat dancing! Cani has made win of squat-dancing contest vs snek-women-demon-ballerina! Cani not know why named ballerina, weird word, she had nothing to do with balls Cani thinks!
Anyone have spell called "Telepathokilletic boink"? Is very effective if used on Cani to shoot Cani at enemy! Enemy can not make Acid if dedified quickly! Menti pops her head out out of Canis head. He means telekinetic charge, and yes it is effective. He is used to being magically propelled or directly thrown at powerful foes. The Phantom says. I went weeeee! Right at ugly goat being, and then boinked his space between legs! Very Very effective it was! Cani retells dancing exitedly!
Mushroom Dragon? Iz mushroom pretending to be dragon? HERESY! STAND ASIDE WHILE SMITING COMMENCES Canis eyeslits turn into targetting reticules.
Cani met very pretty Demon-god being that kept bargains! Hmm, very pretty Demon-god-being was on most sacred of Apsu-weed though, Cani not know if his current Apsu-weed, which is not the most sacredest, is enough to make dragon-beign agreement capable! If we want to diplomutantize dragon being, perhaps make smesh first and set terms later? Dragon being if evil may not like Cani much, because Cani follows Apsu, who is clearly bestest, and evil dragon beings tend to smell the goodness of Apsu emanating from Cani! Even if they say they just smell the weed! A hard to parse stream of conciousness exits Canis mouth.
Hello Friend Cani pretty merrily approaches, without weapons drawn. You look sad, there evil being making you sad around? Can asks in a very friendly manner.
Cani has new trick! Can now summon reasonably smart being from head! Just needs to dance for one minute! Look Look! Cani performs his little dance and suddenly...
What if we make smesh of Arlantia? If not deity then can be smeshed? She under protection from anyone really powerful like, Feasting Flower pretty-evil-Fae-being? She has any tricks like demonlord resurrection to not get smeshed permanently? Probably regnerates in first world if smeshed yes?
Hmmm, would be unsurprised if Evil Fae being tied her lifeforce somehow to Gwendowyn being, because that be a thing. Perhaps smart persons should have smesh curse or smesh enchantment scrolls? Would be helpfull me thinks sense motive DC 35: Canis questions seem well, at odds with his personality? More what a battle hardened interplanar mercenary would ask, or perhaps an assassin?
Interesting, extradimensional travel with entry and extry points being on he same plane? Could he describe the monsters? Can you describe monstrous evil beingz? Maybe you have books with names or pictures? Smart friends of Cani have seen lots, can help us prepare for evil beingz! Also Cani has been to Abyss, but can you describe what Blight is? Cani no idea has. Cani speaks as his head bops up and down enthusiastically.
Sending remote hugs and antics. And a song!
Don't worry, be happy, it's all gonna be alright
Chorus:
Verse 2:
Chorus:
Bridge:
Chorus:
Outro:
Shopping list for Cani:
Expected wealth per level? Unless I am wrong, the difference between level 14 (185K) and level 16 (315K) is quite sizeable.
Only equipment left. 130K to burn, probably going for unusual items.
Will get it done in the next 3 days. Alongside a full self audit of the sheet, which is taking the most time actually.
I would just roll here I think. Cani is going to be dip-trippin! One Dip will be fractured mind, so other characters can also talk with his totally not subspicious mental co pilot! The other dip I need to think about. I really want to get some actual degree of perform dance for squat dancing goodness. Which swashbucklers get, nice, and due to my stuff that makes my earth breakers light I can probably even regain panache!
Thanks for running, I am not in PFS so no credits needed! I am PMing you a funny build idea.
Cani is probably on the overoptimized side as well :). I am happy to continue and fine with the GM making init and perception rolls.
In character, Cani is relatively clueless, he is diplomatic in his own way, very good at fighting things, but Kn rolls? What are those.
Glorytory! Viktory! Cani shall perform sacred Squat Dance that Snek-Demons cannot!
KN PLanes DC27:
Snek Demon? Does he mean a Marilith? They would indeed be challenged when it comes to squat-dancing. These are GM approval pending, Canis plot independent background antagonist:
Kn Planes DC37:
Wasnt there a Marilith Dancer, who was humbled by some adventurer in an Abyssal dancing contest in Alyushinyrra? She is rumored to have picked up an "Arms of the Marilith" item, and now uses these arms as feet so she can squat dance now? Kn Planes DC47: Oh right, the Marilith in question pledged bloody vengeance on the adventurer who bested her, apparently some Kobold Paladin of Apsu dual wielding Earth Breakers, promising to quote "Squat Dance on his grave". Wait, dual wielding earth breaker Kobold Paladin of Apsu?
I smack you! You not worth smite smite!
Cani readies a smack should the evil ghost thing come close!
Still there, in a circle, making "goo Yvra goo" phantomimes!
Night before Lootmas part 1: It was the night before Lootmas, on Golarion, but once more an ass was ol Tar-Baphon Cackling with glee and vicious guile
Alas, his plans forced labor require
As such, set out he did in the dark
Racing northwards on dark wings
Cutting in line before some drunk fae quite merry
Alas, he path was waylaid, for in front of him
„The f++& you nerd, you dont knowest me?
„Egads“, thought mighty Tar-Baphon
Quickly alas did a plan thus form
As Lord Gorum heard him these word speak,
The Lich thus in the halls did stride
Yess! Cani says, head bopping up and down enthusiastically! But I dont have loot to give for lootmass because I spend all my gold on things that make me stronker hmmm. But maybe I can maek tell of christmas story for present? The Spectre of Christmas past: I shall try to make a pathfinder based ghosts of christmas past story, narrated by Cani, commented by totally not Nocticula and hopefully enjoyed by all before 31.12.2022 GMT+1 time. I urgently need to procure some booze because reasons for it.
Canis excellent adventures: Was funny story, Cani was sent by Apsu, who is clearly bestest, to very very pretty being with wings, who is also great writress because there was full blown romance novel on her wings, to deliver mythic Apsu weed. But Cani had to perform many unusual feats to be interesting enough to get audience! So he went into casting show, casstingshow being strange ritual to become famous! He progressed into finals because audience really liked Cani!
Feel free to make some kn planes checks.
But I can make inform of her of being stupid, dumb, and less capable of squatdancing then Marilith Demon-being on Cocaine?
Sounds smart Smart! Cani will make infuriating funny faces, and tell many stark truths to her!
In character, Cani would roll init now.
Hi Ghost person! I know you probably evil being, but, relatively speaking, you not even in top 1000 most evilest beings I have ever seen. You also been made ded or to stone by moar evil being then you. If you make tell of what happened, we can make better smesh of evil being that made you ded or stoned. Smart-friends will make tell of more! Cani, utterly fearless walks up to the ghost confidently and makes a pitch. Hmmm, I did monitor your progress towards my city, you have seen a total of 19696 individual demons, of whom about 16696 where more evil then this pathethic Gug, but well, I guess you cant count that far.
Supportive Hug!
Cani runs to hug Zarvak Dont be afraid, Cani be close!
You ok? Maybe Gug nicer when stoned? Some demons clearly are!
You sing a bit like Barbarian friend I had, you try to become Skald? Dirge of Doom be pretty high level ability, you should start with easier song!
Sneaky friends, tell me when to make Caniific entrance!
Hmm, I have been slagging recently in the make people laugh department, I kind of blame november!
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