The Happiest Apocalypse on Earth (Inactive)

Game Master Brainiac

Ouch, Take 1 XP at least.

Unfortunately, Helen's fiddling triggers the tablet's dreaded Blue Screen of Death. It's going to need a full factory reset, something she can't do in here.

The commotion stirs Mortimer, who stands up, legs shaking. His suit is soaking, but his hair is untouched, due to his water resistant hair product.

With shakey hands, Mortimer salvages what he can of his papers and picks up his suitcase.

He then glares at the two employees, any kindness gone from his eyes.

"I... I demand... That you get me out of here. Now." His voice is low, but shakey. With a little bit of whiney brat in there too.

As he says this he looks around...

See something there that wasn't there before: 2d6 + 1 ⇒ (5, 5) + 1 = 11

"Just hand on there, mister. We're trying to do just that."

"Damn. Sorry, Henry. No good." She hands the tablet back, giving Mortimer a condescending look. "Right there with you, bud. Just stick with us and try not to make too much noise."

Help a friend get unstuck: 2d6 + 2 ⇒ (3, 5) + 2 = 10

"Ugh. Give it here." Jen grabs the tablet and gives it several quick thumps.

I got your 'factory reset' right here, pal.

"Computers are like squaddies, my dad says: sometimes you need to pound sense into 'em to remind them who's in command. Try it now."

Mortimer, you have hold 2. You may spend 1 hold to ask me one of the following questions:
• What happened here?
• What here is useful?
• How much time has passed?
• Which enemy is the biggest threat?
• Is there something secret or hidden about this?
• What or who should I be on the lookout for?

Jen's use of the Fonzie method of electronics repair seems to have the tablet working again, but the jostling has damaged the battery. Helen guesses she'll have time to perform one task before it loses power.

The aid roll turns the failure into a partial success, so Helen doesn't get the XP.

"Huh. Okay, sure, why not."

Would this tablet provide any details about what's going wrong with the ride and animatronics? If so, I'll access those.

The diagnostic report for Pirates' Landing doesn't shed much light on the situation. According to readouts, all of the animatronics are working as intended. There don't seem to be any signs of hacking or virus infection. Whatever is happening here, it's not technological in origin.

The tablet's screen flashes white and then goes dark as it dies for good.

"So, it's not a virus or a hack. It's something... else. Something above my pay grade, I think. I think our focus should be to avoid those robots whenever possible and get to the exit as quickly as we can. And do our best to save any other guests we find." Helen sighs. "Piece 'a cake."

Before the tablet's screen goes dark, Helen notices a piece of data that details why the boat increased in speed. Her face suddenly gets hard and her eyes narrow.

Ethan. When we get out of here...

Waiting on Mort's questions and then good to move on, I think.

I'll take •Is there anything useful here? And •Who or what should I be on the lookout for?

Mortimer glares at Helen but it has no intimidating affect. With panic growing in the pit of his stomach, he straightens his shirt and tie.

***

You carefully make your way along the walkways behind the pirate ship facades. Lizzie clings to Jen, glancing about nervously. Greg staggers along, trying hard not to groan in pain.

Ahead, you can hear jaunty music playing along with mechanical laughter. Flickering lights evoking flames illuminate a gruesome tableaux ahead. The scene is set up to look like a burning village, with a group of four pirates singing and raising mugs of ale. But blood and guts are strewn everywhere, staining everything red. The bodies of several men and women lie near the pirates' feet, seemingly ripped apart by jagged metal claws. The animatronic pirates laugh and occasionally kick at the dead bodies as they sing their song:

"Yo, ho! Yo, ho! A life of piracy for us!"

Crouching behind cover and trying not to gag at the gruesome scene, Helen scans the room.

FIND SOMETHING THERE THAT WASN'T THERE BEFORE (ROLL +WISE): 2d6 + 3 ⇒ (3, 3) + 3 = 9

What here is useful?

Helen spots a panel on the wall that controls the audiovisual components of this scene. She might be able to use it to create a diversion.

Take +1ongoing if you act on that.

Henry ducks down and motions everyone to do so as well when he hears the pirates singing.
quick question: is this still set up like the pirates ride where there's a small stream of water flowing through the whole way?
assuming there is...
Using the time they spent together playing charades every once in a while as a basis, he signals to Helen to ask her if the bots would short out if we splashed water on them?
not sure if this would count as anything, but I'll roll it as though I'm helping her get unstuck, just in case
2d6 + 3 ⇒ (5, 3) + 3 = 11

Helen moves to the panel as softly as possible and tries to trigger a distraction that might aid the group in moving past unnoticed.

I'm guessing this is a Tell the Computer You Want to Live roll? If not, lemme know.

TELL THE COMPUTER YOU WANT TO LIVE (ROLL +WISE): 2d6 + 3 + 1 ⇒ (2, 2) + 3 + 1 = 8

Jen enjoys the feel of Lizzie's arms around her, although she would wish the circumstances were different. Still, you find happiness where you can take it. She gently strokes the girl's long, fair hair, and makes soothing noises as she waits to see if Henry and Helen are able to get them through this latest peril.

Helen - Henry's "get you unstuck" roll means you add +2 to your roll

Yes, Henry, there's a stream of water flowing through the middle of the ride.

With Henry's advice, Helen's tinkering bears fruit. The lights begin to flicker and pulse, and the musical track slurs and glitches. The pirates glare at the "malfunctioning" equipment, servos in their joints whirring softly.

"Avast! Thar be a gremlin in the works!" one says.

"It be throwing off me groove!" another one complains.

Everybody may take +2forward to any rolls to try to get past these pirates. In this case, the base move would be to BE BOLD AND DARING, unless you have another creative idea.

Proceeding cautiously, Helen creeps past the robots and waves the others along.
Please... please just don't let anyone else die.

Be Bold and Daring: 2d6 + 0 + 2 ⇒ (2, 2) + 0 + 2 = 6

Using REMOVE THE STRINGS THAT HOLD YOU DOWN to Wish Upon a Star without accruing Twinkle

Be Bold and Daring (reroll): 2d6 + 0 + 2 ⇒ (2, 4) + 0 + 2 = 8

bold and daring: 2d6 + 1 + 2 ⇒ (1, 6) + 1 + 2 = 10
He may not always be smart, but Henry has plenty of experience with daring. You'd be surprised how much gumption it takes to perform in front of people. Killer robots aren't so bad compared to a really bad review. Well, maybe.

Jen gives Helen a thumbs-up as she dashes past the robots, trying to do so before they notice her...

Be bold and daring: 2d6 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (1, 5) + 2 + 2 = 10

I will roll for Mortimer to keep things moving.

Mortimer Be Bold and Daring: 2d6 + 2 ⇒ (6, 4) + 2 = 12

You quickly and quietly attempt to move past the pirates without them noticing you. Lizzie squeezes Jen's hand tightly as the two of them make it past. Henry and Mortimer follow in their wake, slipping by without incident. That leaves Helen and Greg. The wounded teen staggers behind the mechanic as the two of them attempt to be stealthy.

They're both almost in the clear when the pain from Greg's injury flares up. Despite himself, he can't suppress his groan. The pirates suddenly orient on the noise, glaring in your direction. "Oy! Look alive, mateys! We've got some landlubbers tryin' to escape!"

"Gut 'em like fish!" another shouts, raising a bloody cutlass!

What do you do?

Helen grabs Greg, offering him support as they hustle towards the door to the next area. "Go go go go go..."

"Move people!" Henry shouts as he pushes and pulls anyone he can get through the next door. Turning back, he calls, "Hurry, Helen!"
help friend get unstuck: 2d6 + 3 ⇒ (1, 6) + 3 = 10

As the pirates close, Henry grabs Helen's hand and tugs both her and Greg through. They slam the door shut behind them, ahead of the animatronics' grasping hands. The pirates slam against the door, but it's holding--for now.

"Thanks! That was too close!" Greg says, sweat dripping from his brow.

There's a bend in the waterway ahead. You can see another empty boat, and hear voices around the corner--laughing punctuated by the occasional sob.

Helen turns and looks for a (quiet) way to more firmly secure the door behind them. If it has a lock, I'll try to use my tools to jam it.

BE BOLD AND DARING (ROLL +BRAVE): 2d6 + 0 ⇒ (5, 1) + 0 = 6

She whispers to Henry. "Hey, give me a hand with this, would you?"

"Umm, here, see if this will hold," Henry says picking up a sign that says "Exit->" in 5 different languages.
help a friend: 2d6 + 3 ⇒ (2, 2) + 3 = 7

Mortimer, his head in a daze, finds himself being dragged along with the others. He barley recognizes possible danger when his sense of survival becomes even more apparent, practically shoving the others out of the way to get through the door.

With the panic only slightly lowering, Mortimer looks down to see a pocket knife in his hand. When had he picked that up? Well it didn't matter, as long as it helped him survive.

Without really thinking, Mortimer begins to stumble toward the direction the noise is coming from, but slow and steady, like a drunk old man.

Jen grins in relief as the door seems to hold. "Good work, Helen! Let's see what's around the next corner - we're not the only ones here, we should see who else needs rescuing, right? Semper Fi - nobody left behind."

hold your banner high: 2d6 + 2 ⇒ (5, 5) + 2 = 12

Everyone gets +1 forward and Jen gets +1 XP for being super-inspiring.

Helen and Henry manage to jam the door shut, but in the time it takes to do so, something comes around the corner of the path ahead. A burly animated pirate with broad shoulders and a prodigious gut carries a barrel of rum under one arm. He stops and stares at you, eyes gleaming red in the dim light of the attraction. "Where do ye think ye're goin'?" he asks menacingly...

What do you do?

Helen spins around and points her wrench at the pirate, a wild look at her eyes. "Listen to me, f*ckface. I literally disassemble you guys for a living, and you caught me on quite possibly the worst day of my life. Now, you can either less us pass without incident, or I can show you what your linear actuators look like. Your choice."

Bare Your Teeth and Ambitions: 2d6 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (1, 4) + 1 + 1 = 7

The pirate stalks forward, completely unmoved by Helen's attempt at intimidation. It seems these machines cannot be reasoned with. They only seek death and destruction...

Control your Destiny: 2d6 + 2 ⇒ (2, 6) + 2 = 10

"Wait, wait, wait!"

Jen waves her arms frantically as she steps in front of Helen. "You think we'd have got this far if we weren't SUPPOSED to be here?! We've been ordered... forward. You know, to the Higher Authority. You wouldn't want to interfere with the Higher Authority, would you? That would be more than your programming is worth, right?"

She has no idea what she's talking about, but she's pretty sure these robots didn't just start misbehaving all by themselves.

The pirate suddenly stops. You can hear the servos in its joints whirring softly as it stares blankly ahead. Without another word, it turns around and marches back around the corner and out of sight.

"Wow, how did you do that?" Lizzie asks in awe.

You're not sure why that worked, but you're probably lucky that it did.

Jen looks slightly glassy-eyed as she watches the robot until it's out of sight.

"I...no idea. Hang on, I just need to... Just need for... a minute..."

She sinks to the floor, starting to shiver uncontrollably as the adrenaline wears off.

Are you an absolute ****ing MORON?! What were you gonna do if that hadn't worked?! This isn't Varsity athletics and wrestling - that thing would have ripped off your arms and beaten you to death with the wet ends!

The terrified part of her brain is fairly sure that she will see that thing's glowing, red eyes in her dreams for the rest of her life.

The survival-conscious part of her brain notes the fact that probably won't be very long.

The more medical-trained, analytical part of her brain notes the hyperventilation and slow clouding-over of her eyesight.

Nononononononono, I can't faint, not here, not NOW...

Helen kneels down to Jen with concern. "Hey. Hey, you're alright. That was really brave, what you did. You saved all our asses."

Does she know more than she's letting on? Something about... the thing behind all this?

Helen looks up apprehensively at the next corner. "Come on. We should keep moving."

Lizzie kneels on the other side of Jen and takes her hand. "Stay with me, Jen. We can't get out of here without you. We... I need you."

Jen takes a few slow, really deep breaths, shakes her head briskly and throws Helen a wry grin: "Brave, or really dumb. Fine margins, I guess. But we're still going."

Grabbing Lizzie's hand, she hauls herself up, leaning into the other girl for some support (shaky legs, you understand).

Then it hits her.

"Oh, ****! That means there is a higher authority behind this - it's not just some random glitches!"

She scowls. "I should've asked that thing for directions on where to find the authority. Then I could kick its ass and we'd go home."

She's definitely sounding like her usual self.

OK, do we have a choice of directions or is it one way traffic?

Henry looked on dumbstruck as the young lady mentally outmaneuvered the robot. It's all he can do to keep from laughing as the thing turns and walks away, just at the absurdity of it all.
"Wow, you're right. If there is someone in charge of this... disaster, all these deaths are on their head." He shakes his head. How can someone be so evil?
"Helen, any idea where the closest exit is?"

*Almost* all of them.

“It’s this way.” Helen motions the others onward.

You proceed on around the corner and onto the next scene in the ride. Another boat sits stalled in the water with the corpses of a few guests staring blankly at the ceiling. Curiously, though, the smashed and mangled remains of a few animatronic pirates also poke out of the water.

Ahead, a half-dozen pirates cluster around an auction block, where several women are chained up. But the women are humans--guests that the pirates have captured and shackled! They sob and cry as the pirates act out their scripted scene.

"Ahoy there, swabbies. What be yer offer for this winsome wench here? Shift yer cargo, dearie, and show 'em yer larboard side!" The auctioneer slaps the nearest woman on the bottom, causing her to yelp in pain. The other pirates laugh.

"Ye sellin' her by the pound? She's a right whale, she is! Thar, she blows!"

"We wants the redhead! The redhead!"

Caught up in their scene, the pirates haven't noticed you yet. Lizzie whispers, "This is one of the scenes they were supposed to have replaced after everybody started complaining! Why are they still doing it?"

Gotta save those women... but there's no way we can take on all these bots at once. Helen looks around the room carefully.

FIND SOMETHING THERE THAT WASN'T THERE BEFORE (ROLL +WISE): 2d6 + 3 ⇒ (2, 2) + 3 = 7
What here is useful?

Peering closer at the mangled animatronic in the water, Helen sees that it is Captain Hank Starling, the main character from a popular series of movies based on the Pirates' Landing ride. This animatronic was added as part of the recent renovations and was not a part of the original ride. There must be a reason why it was destroyed...

Captain Hank's head has been ripped off of his body. It is easily portable.

Jen looks bemused. "Everything's gone to hell and that's what strikes you as odd about this scene?!" she whispers back. She flashes Lizzie a smile, to show she's only kidding.

Noticing Helen look around, she does the same. Recon is a vital part of any mission, after all.

Find something that wasn't there before: 2d6 ⇒ (5, 3) = 8

Which enemy is the biggest threat? (seems like a suitably Jen-type question to ask)

Mortimer can't believe what's going on. No, not can't. Won't.
It's all too... Impossible... Yet it was happening.
Mortimer, his chest heaving, racks his brain, thinking of the normal ways he gets out of problems.

Talking to them might work... So could bribing them... At least those work on humans.
Either way, fighting was not an option... At least for Mortimer...

Wait... Maybe he could... Sacrifice one of the others... Yes... Trade with the pirates for safe passage... Maybe... Just maybe... But the others would try to stop him... Hmm...

As I'm sure you know, I'm playing Mortimer very antagonistic like. Not only is he a selfish jerk I'm also taking it from the angle that he's being influenced by The Great Mouse. If you guys find this to be problematic or you don't like it I'll drop it okay? Just say the word. I won't go through with the plan if you don't like it. If you have played 9persons 9hours 9doors, you can tell I'm taking the same approach as the 9th man. ;)

Jen notices the auctioneer is waving around a flintlock pistol. It might be just a prop. Then again, it might not...

Mort: I think conflict is fine but maybe try to keep it relatively party friendly? Assuming we're gonna be together for most of the campaign, an obvious betrayal like that is bound to split us up for good if not get one or more of us killed.

Helen carefully reaches into the water and grabs Captain Hank's head. Why would they kill one of their own? Hmmm...

Not to get too technical here but where is the robots' power source located? Basically wondering if I have whatever I'd need to power Captain Hank's head up or if I need to scavenge for more parts.

It depends on your roll on GET THAT BONEHEADED CONTRAPTION TO WORK.

Someone was still alive, besides them, but it didn't look like they would be for too long. A few of the others were looking around for something to help. If only he could distract the robots... get them to move away.
Hmm, I haven't tried that in ages. It might work though. Henry takes a deep breath and... throws his voice down the adjacent hallway.
"Mateys! There be more lubbers over here! Come give us a hand and we'll make 'em walk the plank." Pleaseworkpleaseworkpleasework
not sure if this is the right attribute, but I rolled +brave for this one. if you think it need to be a miracle or whatever, I'll accept consequences
brave?: 2d6 + 1 ⇒ (5, 6) + 1 = 12
sweet!