
![]() |
Beyond a doorless arch appears to be a large kitchen complete with walls lined in shelves and cupboards, a huge central table, and an enormous oven against the north wall. Several drawers and cupboard doors stand askew, and the floor here is a jagged field of broken glass, smashed pottery, bits of sharp stone, jagged bones, and discarded cutlery.
There are 3 humanoids in here... and, if the one you found last night was typical, you feel safe in identifying them as pugwampi! All are occupied making havoc of the place and doing their best to cook tasty treats for their brethren. One is stirring the contents of a large pot.
Doesn't look as if they have noticed you yet...

![]() |
Surprise Round
Well, they are surprised at you lot bursting in whilst they are cooking dinner...
Raulzig raises his crossbow and lets fly. The bolt thuds into the back of the one stirring the big pot. He collapses with a high-pitched squeal, dropping the spoon into the pot and then dragging the whole thing down on top of himself as he crumples to the floor. Vegetable soup spreads across the floor...
Samuel also releases a crossbow bolt, which bounces off a frying pan with a resounding *CLANG!* - this does rather startle the pugwampi who was holding the pan at the time!
Pashaj charges in with his spear, his foot slips in the spreading wave of vegetable soup - unlucky! You may make a reflex save to remain upright.
Calain charges in straight at the third pugwampi, crashing into him and knocking the air out of him with a 'Whooof!' The pair of you fall to the ground in a tangled heap... but he isn't moving any more.
The only pugwampi still standing drops his dented frying pan and scampers to the far end of the room, grabbing a chef knife as he goes. He turns, at bay, holding the knife in front of him.
"Please don't hurt me," he squeaks.

S. W. |

"Perhaps you didn't, but some of your associates were not nearly as intelligent, so you may have to prove that you are trustworthy before we truly believe you. To start with, you can tell us who you are, and why you are living so close to a gnoll infested village. We can proceed from there based on those answers." Samuel speaks softly as he reloads his crossbow, but does not return it to an immediate firing position, rather holding it by his side, ready but not an immediate danger.

![]() |
"Who's I?" the pugwampi squeaks, clearly puzzled. "I's Krafty, I am the cook." He puffs out his little chest with pride.
"We's live close to the gnolls, may they be praised, so that we can be handy to serve them. This makes a good base for us, plenty of room."

S. W. |

Samuel just cocks his eyebrows as the strange creature talks of gnolls as if they are gods, convinced the entire race must simply be inherently insane, a bit annoyed that he actually agrees with gnolls on something, even if it is something as minor as these pugwampis. "Why do you worship them if they spurn you?" He asks more for the sake of continuing conversation while others figure out a better plan than any desire to talk with such annoying little pests.

Calain |

You haven't said a damn thing worth sparing your life. I am telling you this buildingis ours now. We are much mightier thanGnolls. I am KING Calain, God of the Areanaand no man or Gnoll can kill me. You WILL lead me to your leader in this building where he will submit to me or I will destroy him and stab his eyes so he wanders the next life a blind fool.
He wanders over and puts the point of his Nodachi on the pugwampi's chest.
Accept. Or I end you now.

S. W. |

"Easy now, Calain, no need in being a bully. I'm sure that this fine creature here is perfectly capable of understanding the value of his own skin without being constantly reminded of it. Taking us to his leader, though, is not a bad idea." Turning back to the pathetic creature, Samuel hides his revulsion as he speaks politely to Krafty, having learned that getting information out of folks often involved a fair bit of tolerance, even if that tolerance was not entirely the preferred path. "Also, we seek to deal with the gnolls on behalf of our employer, and any cooperation you give may help spare the lives of at least some of your "gods" by limiting the amount of collateral damage that will probably be inevitable given the distinct cultural differences. To start with, how many are there, of what clan, and who is their leader?"

Raulzig Turfoodle |

Raulzig attempts to make it easier for the pitiful thing.
"Look, the Gnolls, may they be glorified, are harassing the human settlement. In their might, known to you, they made it hard enough for the humans to request parlay. King Calain here was chosen as the best human warrior to match the Gnoll Chieftain, may he be praised. Your information will help us to pick the best way to appease the Gnolls, may they be glorified, without extra blood. If you don't tell us enough, we will be forced to fight through to him and many Gnolls, may they be praised, will be slain. Now speak."
Bluff: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (12) + 7 = 19

![]() |
"King Mokknokk lives in the Chapel mostly," squeaks Krafty. "Dunno about the gnolls, praise 'em, though. Live in village. Calls themselves the Kulldis. Their leader is my lord Kardswann. There are other tribes in the hills roundabout. Numbers I know not."
Krafty starts to cry. He's clearly terrified.

Pashaj |

Pashaj follows the creature, though he takes care to see that Calain precedes him. When a quiet moment arises, he presses his fingers once more to the barbarian's armor and whispers holy words. The breastplate continues to shine like a torch.
Recasting Light on Calain.

Calain |

Calain catches up to the Pugwampi as it fumbles with the door. He leans in close and says, Walk and quietly, just a little in front. If you scream for help, you will die choking on the noise.

![]() |
Krafty leads you through the nave, ignoring two side rooms (chapels?) and going straight west. A short set of wide ceremonial steps leads down to a cavernous chapel in which the congregants would gather for sermons in happier times. The vibrant orange and red starburst of Sarenrae still stands behind a film of rusted rainwater and dirt along the north wall overlooking the collapsed altar. Between the stairs and the altar stand dozens of old marble benches, many overturned and even more broken into two or more pieces. A wide walkway bisects the pews, leading directly to the raised altar. Here and there a few clumps of the original red carpet along this thoroughfare hang on against rot and neglect.
Above the center of the chapel, dangling about ten feet from the floor, hangs a cluster of gnoll skulls in various stages of decay. Strung together like a ghoulish candelabra of twine and bone, the boulder-sized ornament hangs from the wooden rafters about twenty feet above the ground.

![]() |
Oh, there's lots of flammable stuff - there's a sort of gallery, perhaps for a choir, that's festooned with paper and cobwebs and the sort of gunk that would give a fire chief conniptions.
Krafty steps forwards, now he's been given leave, and bows towards the east end of the chapel.
"Y... your Majesty, w..we have visitors... Biggenses...scary ones."
Up in the 'chandelier' a head appears. It's another pugwampi, upside down. He giggles.

Calain |

Calain looks at the ridiculous creature.
GET DOWN HERE AND KNOW YOUR MASTER! I AM CALAIN... GOD OF THE ARENA. SUBMIT OR BE DESTROYED!
Intimidate1d20 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 2 = 21
An Enlarge Person Spell would be awesome here

S. W. |

Samuel remains unperturbed through all of this; even the strange decor doesn't seem to phase him. He just wants to get the pugwampi out of here with as a little damage to himself and his group as possible. He keeps his crossbow ready, but is holding it as loosely as he can while still keeping the bolt in to make it clear that he is perfectly willing to try the talking route.

Calain |

Calain looks to his friend and keeps the scowl on his face and talks loud enough for the'king' hear, They will either serve or leave. This is My Temple now. If they flee they will live. If they serve they will be rewarded. If they fight, those who attack me will know death. It is a fair deal.

![]() |
From somewhere in the rafters above the altar, a pot-bellied pugwampi, wearing a scruffy purple gown and with a battered crown askew on his head, lowers himself down, falling the last four feet and landing in a heap. The crown falls off.
"Hello," he says, picking himself up. "God, you say?"