at that the gobling clings fearfully to Stiggy.
Stig hoists his axe as if to chop the gobbo off his leg.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
The gobbo plops to the ground, crying. The barghest sees weakness; every muscle tautens as he almost lunges for the goblin.
Then he *hrmphs* and starts to lope off to the west.
"Nevah tooch me agin, Gobbo."
He slowly comes at you with his index finger outstretched; seems to think better of it.
He slowly comes at you with his index finger outstretched; seems to think better of it.
Having been struggling to maintain self-control and not attack the barghest, all Elgan can do is shake his head in relief at the little goblin.
"Survival o' deh fittes' mah @$$!" He mutters.
"There's a skaweeto on your ear..." he says to the dwarf.
"Smeggik kidder. Smeggik kid you. Laugh, life good. No get ate by wolfdemon. Ha ha! Ha ha ha!!!" he drools a lot, and snot runs from his nose when he laughs.
"You did well, Smeggik. Now, let's get on with this before the barghest comes back."
"Ogay."
He leads you guys north a bit, to the verge of a clearing on the south side of a bayou that runs west to east, that pours into a big stagnant pond. There's a fallen tree for a bridge over the riverlet, though it looks easily wadeable; 25 feet across...
Gittik sees Gank, Panksee, and Squibby....three of his tribesmen on worge. "They tuff, not tuff like me though. You want me waste them?"
says Gittik.
They're on the other side of the bridge.
You see them first.....Smeggik starts to walk towards them; thinks better of it, and looks at you all like "what do you want to do now?"
They all got chain mail, spears; swords; and are sitting on worgs.
On the other side, there's a low ridged hill, about 300 foot long and about 30 foot tall; it's 50 yards through somewhat less muddy forest. You see a cook fire on the east side; you see a goblin here and there in the trees.
"Lead on, Smeggik. Just tell them we're here to see the boss."
Smeggik approaches the haphazard bridge.
"Halt! Who am go there!!! Advance!! Get reckonized!!"
Smeggik walks up; "It am me, Smeggik! Me am bring them on important business! None your business, it between me and Chief!!! Me most important goblin now, that am not chief!"
One of them throws a good-size rock at Smeggik. It hits him in the temple and blood runs down his cheek. He doesn't even make a sound.
They laugh. Even the worgs laugh.
"Who you am!!" to the party, in common;...."speak quick, or die quick, longshanks!!!"
Gittik growls much. It echoes in his oversized skullmask.
“We’re Skulls you ignorant pieces of pond skum,” intones Beldan from under the cowl. “We have business with your chief. Now stand aside before we blast you aside with our terrible necromancy!”
"Okay, okay...come on across bridge....me am sorry. We am just follow orders. You am can not be too careful these days, you know." says Squibby.
Do you cross the bridge?
Do you wade across?
Beldan squints at the gobbos in suspicion before attempting to cross.
They're snickering about something between themselves, and trying to keep a straight face it seems.
“What’s so funny laughing Jack?”
"Smeggik....him bleeding out of his head, and now him pee on himself."
They all bust out laughing.
sense motive d.c. 11
“Alright…” says Beldan, still a little suspicious. “Fellows, if any of these jokers try anything on me, skewer them.”
He sets out across the bridge …
… and sways alarmingly for a moment. Before skipping the rest of the way across.
“Hey, that thing isn’t secured – careful guys – er, Brethren.”
Aw, for the love of Boccob... Altai's gaze wanders from the rickety bridge/trap/practical joke to the muddy river/sewer/crocodile pen. Uncertain of his ability to successfully tiptoe across the beam, he draws himself up and turns his head towards the goblin that threw the rock at Smeggik. "I think we are seeing something of a misunderstanding here", he says softly. "Apparently, you think we are silly outsiders, comedic objects to be trifled with and joked about. This is unfortunate and should be remedied, and I think I know just the thing. Here's something I think would be funny - how about I cut off your hands and feet, then nail them back on in reverse order so that you'll spend the rest of your short, miserable life picking your nose with your feet? Now, that's high comedy." He spits into the brownish sludge. "I'm not wading across this. Hand over your worg, Booger Boy - while you still have hands. I'll be riding it into camp."
The worg growls and says, "no carry longshanks. You get pony, meat."
The gobbo, however, dismounts; says "better do like he wants," to the worg.
The lithe worg springs, takes one bounding leap off of the rickety impromptu bridge, then barrels full speed straight at Altai.
He pulls up to Altai and stops abruptly; "get on," is all the growling protocanid says.
what do you do?
The elf manages to maintain his silence in the face of prankster gobbos and backtalking worgs. But He's biting his tongue. Literally.
"Excellent." Altai buries his hands in the huge wolf's fur. "Where do you want me to hold on? After all, neither of us want to look stupid doing this, right?" He vaults up on the worg's back.
"Aw, scat! You weigh a ton, berk!" The worg starts hobbling across the makeshift bridge. "Set your head low like you're coursing, berkoe! Bend forward! Aww heck we're goin in....woah that was close...." He gets you across the bridge, although haphazardly.
"I'm not doing that again.....I've about gotten a hernia. Somebody else can carry the rest of these knuckleheaded longshanks."
That's Bel and Altai across,...
Elgan just needs a toque like Spock to hide his pointy ears.[/sarcsm]
Riese pulls a scroll out and casts Swift Fly to fly across the gap.
Then he drops a pillar of flame right next to the snickering gobbos, just missing them. In goblin "Next one laugh at skulls or brethren be burned-burned crispy!"
They're agog now.
"Hey, you guys am wait..." he says to the others having yet to cross.
They approach the log, and secure it with some rope staked to their side of the firmament; it takes a few minutes.
"Come on across there. It not rickety or anything now."
They cast sideways glances at Riese's overwhelming show of force...
"You....no fair. You am not look tough as you am," one says.
The other clouts him; "no make fire man mad! Fireman, no be mad at me; him dumb, so me kill him if you like."
Altai climbs off the worg and nods in approval at the pyrotechnics.
The goblins have dismounted, and all the worgs cringe at Riese.
They're coming up to him, whining and baring their throats. (or if he's still flying, just whining at him).
IDK; this is my take on goblin psychology--they're extremely erratic and violent, until an overwhelming force culls them into obedience, for at least a little while.
Oh, and it's take-10 simple to cross the bridge now.
Elgan strides fearlessly across the bridge, his body language one of a predator walking among prey. Confident, but not unwary. He nods once in approval of the goblins and worgs deference to Riece' pyrotechnics.
One of the worgs sniffs at Elgan; then stops and tries to look nonchalant.
A vulture hovers above high in the sky circling, circling...
Altai watches as the rest of the party crosses the bridge. "Lead on, Smeggik."
Smeggik leads you up to and onto the forested hill. Goblins stop to gawk everywhere; looks like a good 60 combatants here with a quick head count. Fairly decent equipment too; chain mail is abundant, and a few breastplates.
Smeggik leads you up to a large tent, about 30 feet across and roughly ovoid, and about 6 feet tall, and past two burly (for goblins) pikegoblins in banded armor. They move aside grudgingly.
"Come on in you humans!" Says Smeggik.
It's darker; there's a fire in the middle with smoke rising out of a flap in the top, but it's not totally pitch black or anything.
"After you," says Beldan.
"Ogay." He goes on in. You can see him prostating himself on the floor there before the magnificence (yeesh!) of Gittik's faddah.
Altai follows Smeggik into the tent, nodding at the goblin king before finding a spot to sit down.
I'll get to it some damn time today; I might be hustling today at work...I figure Aubrey'll be back soon and we can get the wild rumpus underway pretty soon.....
In the tent, Gittik's father sits on his throne of deer antlers, surrounded by goblin courtiers from out of the mind of a madman. A strange little juggling humanoid with sharp teeth and hairy face juggles knives, waddling on the stumps where his legs were and cackling madly.
There is a firepit in the center of the tent. A deer is turned on a spit by two hagsome goblins in aprons (Gittik can tell they are female).
Two goblin strongmen sit on either side of the King in his splendor, girded in steel breastplates and leaning on tulwars. A violent cunning flashes in their eyes as they ogre ogle the party.
The great Chief has his head resting on a troll's skull, and leans back in the owlbearskin draped over his throne. He smiles wickedly as you enter.
A good 12 goblins squat around the fire, trying not to be noticed.
Smeggik is kissing the ground and shaking nervously.
A fool goblin in tattered and stained motley spits fire onto the roasting deer.
To the left of the throne stands
make d.c.14 wil save
fail d.c.14 wil save
okay, I'm done; whaddya do?