"That one remind me of Grumble, he too slow too! Reta cooking some dinner!"
After hitting both the 'horse' and 'dog', Reta raises her arms in exultation. "RETA IS THE BESTEST!!! RETA IS-" <ffwwiit> ...<pop>...ARG!...AH HA!! I hit Glumper's face with rocket! Watch him run. Dis much more fun." All thought of the competition gone, the chief now tries to decide if she should chase Glumper or shoot someone else.
Chiefs always have to make hard decisions! Sorry Glumper...hahaha!
Reta runs after Glumper with glee! She takes wild aim and launches her last shot at Glumper's booger maker.
The projectile lodges right in the nostril before exploding with a pop of green sludge.
Why Glumper leaving?"
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The goblins' last shots all fire true, with dogs, the ogre, and a bystander going up in flames. Reta's lucky shot was used on a very different target, though losing her chance to tie another game. Instead, the winner, the great rider of animals, Poog, stands triumphant once again. Trimple Rotmouth kowtows before his master and expresses his complete confidence in him throughout the match. He then presents him with a flask of clear liquid. "Makes you hide good, real, really good," he declares proudly, as if he had made it himself as opposed to stealing it from who knows where.
The next amusement is dragged in by a female goblin named Dillbi Tenthumbs, and it quickly becomes evident that one of the favorite sports of coastal goblins is in order: Killgull. The goblin is holding a long bit of twine affixed to a live vulture. "We was gonna play with a seagull, like usual," Dilllbi notes. "But stupid other goblins cook 'em all for feast without thinking like smart chief. I saved the day though, I found this big bird tryin' to eat our feast! Remember, rules simple. Everyone gets rocks-" as she speaks, several other goblins hand each chieftain a bag of nice throwing rocks, "-and they all throw at the bad bird. I get to yank the string to make the bird dodge. One who kills the bird gets prize. Ready?"
Reta eyes the bird, tongue out as she concentrates.
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Reta scores a direct hit on the vulture's beak, while Chuffy is not so lucky. A combination of the bird's evasiveness and Dillbi's quick yank keep it out of harm's way. Poog decides to play a game of his own, while Mogmurch, sharing the priest's distaste for the ammunition, mixes together some components and
The bomb strike the hapless bird dead-on, causing it to explode in a shower of feathers and viscera even as it droops and plummets to the ground. A few seconds of stunned silence later, the tribe erupts into cheers, and Dillbi presents Mogmurch with...a rock? "Is magical," she explains. "Swallow it, protects against big hurts for a week or so."
The goblins then begin to assemble what appears to be another game (a complex- and stupid-looking puzzle consisting of bags of wasps, boxes of nettles, and jars of nails), but the day is once again saved by none other than Squealy Nord, as he bursts into the clearing. He is battered and bruised, and without the three goblins he was sent to recover tasty truffles with. He brushes up to Poog, his master, and squeals incomprehensibly to all but the two.
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"Longshanks in the truffle fields?! Outrageous!
Chiefs! This must not stand! We must heal Squealy Nord and go back to the truffle fields to fit these longshanks for a bonfire!"
-Posted with Wayfinder
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The chieftains quietly make their way to the truffle fields, where they come upon a sight that would terrify lesser goblins. Two wagons, their wooden panels exquisitely carved and vibrantly painted, sit in this forest clearing. The first noticeable thing in the small dell is a burning campfire and three goblin heads stuck on narrow poles. Logs for sitting and gear for cooking surround the campfire, and the smell of a greasy stew floats on the gentle summer breeze. Four armed men sit around the fire, accompanied by three evil dogs! Around the campsite there are also four evil horses, two of which are tied to the southern caravan, and the others are tied to the ground.
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Whispering, Poog offers "Poog have stick of making big fire Boom. Maybe take out evil dogs and longshanks, scare horses away.
They stupid and not see us yet. You want take them by surprise?"
Poog retrives his wand of fireballs and waits for the other goblins to chime in.
-Posted with Wayfinder
Reta whispers, "Sneaky sneaks is bestest. Me and chuffy go far side. You boom them, then we stabby stab!"
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Before the longshanks can react, the goblins begin their mayhem. Poog's wand transforms the campfire into a fiery blast that chars all those around it, immediately sending all of the evil dogs and one longshanks to the ground, bleeding out. Chuffy then shoots the man closest to him in the back, taking him out as well.
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"Hee Hee Hee! Doggies burn! Longshanks burn! Horsies burn, but not so well."
I'm going to assume that Mogmurch drops that longshanks. Hopefully the horses decide to run away...
Poog shouts out to the Longshanks as he charges forward.
"Stupid Longshanks shouldn't have hurt Squealy Nord! Now stupid Longshanks be dead!"
Fire Bolt at Red.
"Urk. Maybe should have waited for Reta before charging onto field."
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Mogmurch's explosive blasts its primary target into shreds, and singes the horses. The two that are hurt buck wildly, but cannot move against their tethers, while the ones to the south look ready to run at any moment. Poog launches another flaming projectile at the last man standing, but, fueled by desperation and the desire to flee, he dodges.
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Chuffy knocks off another bolt at the remaining longshanks, but narrowly misses. The man tries to slink away, but, in his stupidity and current predicament, he runs towards the two goblins lying in wait for him! Didn't even see the bolt coming his way, he was so preoccupied. What foolish creatures longshanks are. Not like goblin chiefs.
Reta runs up with glee as she buries the weapon deep into the man's thigh.
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The remaining longshanks' head quickly swivels from the terrifying goblin chieftains he is running from to the terrifying goblin chieftain whose weapon now protrudes from his leg. He sighs slightly in terror and agony as he collapses. Meanwhile, the horses tied to the caravan thunder south, as far away as they can, taking their wagon with them. The other two, still tethered to the ground, buck wildly in an effort to escape their current pain and inevitable demise. Naturally, they have little to no success.
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Reta puts one horse out of its misery, leaving the chieftains to dispense of the remaining however they wish, be it with bolts, blades, fire, or any other method their goblin minds can devise. The two horses who were not tied down are already too far gone to catch up to, sadly.
On the corpses of the former bandits and their caravan, however, lie a wealth of interesting things. In addition to their equipment and that of the goblins they killed, one has a bag containing four delicious truffles, each the size of a baby's fist. A large pile of clothing and food scattered pell-mell when the fireball hit yields plenty of nice loot as well. After the spoils of war have been attended to, one objective remains: Avenge the dead and save the feast by heading to the Bestest Truffle Field and gathering more tasty treats!
Reta takes a bite out of the ham as she looks through the jewelry. "Ooohh, this is the bestest beautyest one. Me keep it."
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Mogmurch takes the mead and cloves, certain he can use them to brew something both explosive and aromatic. He also takes the brass foot with obvious excitement.
"Oooh, maybe Mogmurch study longshanks foot, he learn good foot medicine for tribe, become village...wossname longshanks call it...podia?..pedia?..pedophile! Give lots aids to Goblin whelps!"
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Chuffy quickly delves ahead, a short walk, while the rest bring up the rear. At first, nothing seems out of place: the gnarled old oak under which often lie the best truffles, the ruined silo By the time the other chieftains catch up, however, Chuffy notices a long series of vines on the old tree that reportedly weren't there last time goblins were about, but a few days ago. What's more, they seem to be moving, innocuously enough to escape the notice of a normal person. But not a goblin chief.
Me am not for knowed what vine is. Can Mogmurch burny-burn it?