GM Crunch's We Be Goblins Free! (Inactive)

Game Master Saving Cap'n Crunch

"That one remind me of Grumble, he too slow too! Reta cooking some dinner!"

dog: 1d20 - 6 + 8 ⇒ (9) - 6 + 8 = 11

"'Ey Munchy! Munch THIS!"

[dice=rocket vs "Pa Munchmeat"]1d20+2[/dice] Add additional +1 if you consider Throw Anything to apply.

Rocket at Dog: 1d20 - 6 + 9 ⇒ (2) - 6 + 9 = 5

Chuffy sad as he misses...

"Burn Doggies!! Look little goblins on the joy that Zarongel bringses. Burning doggies is bestest!"

Dog: 1d20 + 6 - 6 ⇒ (18) + 6 - 6 = 18

I'm not sure if Throw Anything applies, it's not a thrown splash weapon but I'll give it to you. This seems like something a goblin alchemist would do somewhat often.

The chieftains continue their fiery display, feeling as if all their most hated enemies are going up in the glorious, chaotic smoke that is the gallery.

Phase Three:

Remaining Targets:
Dogs: 3
Horses: 0
Pa Munchmeat: 1

Score:
Reta: 3
Chuffy: 2
Mogmurch: 3
Poog: 2

Poog capers around, dancing a laughing gleefully.

"Burn! Burn! Burn!
Watch all the doggies Burn!"

Dog: 1d20 + 6 - 6 ⇒ (14) + 6 - 6 = 14

After hitting both the 'horse' and 'dog', Reta raises her arms in exultation. "RETA IS THE BESTEST!!! RETA IS-" <ffwwiit> oops!: 1d20 - 6 + 8 ⇒ (2) - 6 + 8 = 4...<pop>...ARG!...AH HA!! I hit Glumper's face with rocket! Watch him run. Dis much more fun." All thought of the competition gone, the chief now tries to decide if she should chase Glumper or shoot someone else.

Chiefs always have to make hard decisions! Sorry Glumper...hahaha!

"Mogmurch hungry for dog now!"

rocket vs dog: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (2) + 3 = 5

"$%!*@?!!!" Exclaims Mogmurch angrily, somehow managing to form a chain of cogent goblin swearwords out of utter gibberish.

Chuffy tries for another doggie...

Rocket vs dog: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (4) + 9 = 13

"Yea! Chuffy hits! Well, maybe hits???"

Try as the chieftains might, only Poog manages to strike an intended target, while Reta finds some more, who didn't expect to have to dodge and run so early into the event. The rockets in the goblins' hands sputter to signify their final shot is about to fire; this is it!

Phase Four:

Remaining Targets:
Dogs: 2
Horses: 0
Pa Munchmeat: 1

Score:
Reta: 3
Chuffy: 2
Mogmurch: 3
Poog: 3

Chuffy sadly moans...and tries one last time for the doggie...

Rocket vs dog: 1d20 - 6 + 9 ⇒ (18) - 6 + 9 = 21

Poog looks around at the other chieftains, unable to believe that they missed their shots. Although, Glumper running around with his hair on fire is quite funny.

"Zarongel say to BURN ALL DOGGIES! You There! Glumper! Take holy fire and light up doggie!"

Trying for one last dog, Poog takes aim.

Rocket vs. Dog: 1d20 + 6 - 6 ⇒ (13) + 6 - 6 = 13

I am pretty sure I have used up all of my good rolling for the campaign and will now miss every attack roll I make for the rest of the session

Reta runs after Glumper with glee! She takes wild aim and launches her last shot at Glumper's booger maker.

Snot Rocket!: 1d20 - 6 + 8 ⇒ (14) - 6 + 8 = 16

The projectile lodges right in the nostril before exploding with a pop of green sludge.

"THIS AM BESTEST GAME EVER!!! Why Glumper leaving?"

"'Ey Munchy! Lemme help you light big stinky cigar!"

[dice=rocket vs "Pa Munchmeat"]1d20+3[/dice]

Don't worry about attack rolls, Poog, there's so much healing to be done! You know, with your channeled energy!

The goblins' last shots all fire true, with dogs, the ogre, and a bystander going up in flames. Reta's lucky shot was used on a very different target, though (although really, that's a big part of the goblin games, inventive ways of having fun), losing her chance to tie another game. Instead, the winner, the great rider of animals, Poog, stands triumphant once again. Trimple Rotmouth kowtows before his master and expresses his complete confidence in him throughout the match. He then presents him with a flask of clear liquid. "Makes you hide good, real, really good," he declares proudly, as if he had made it himself as opposed to stealing it from who knows where. Elixir of hiding.

The next amusement is dragged in by a female goblin named Dillbi Tenthumbs, and it quickly becomes evident that one of the favorite sports of coastal goblins is in order: Killgull. The goblin is holding a long bit of twine affixed to a live vulture. "We was gonna play with a seagull, like usual," Dilllbi notes. "But stupid other goblins cook 'em all for feast without thinking like smart chief. I saved the day though, I found this big bird tryin' to eat our feast! Remember, rules simple. Everyone gets rocks-" as she speaks, several other goblins hand each chieftain a bag of nice throwing rocks, "-and they all throw at the bad bird. I get to yank the string to make the bird dodge. One who kills the bird gets prize. Ready?"

Each rock does 1d3 points of damage. Initiative is only used to resolve who takes the killing blow, so everyone can post at once and I will arrange the rolls accordingly.

Poog
Chuffy
Reta
Mogmurch

Reta eyes the bird, tongue out as she concentrates.

Rock: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (16) + 8 = 24 for damage: 1d3 ⇒ 1 Do we include any other bonuses for STR? If so, add +2.

Chuffy cocks an eye and lest loose at the bird...

Rock: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (3) + 9 = 12

Damage: 1d3 ⇒ 2 -1 if STR mod is used

"Rock no cause fire or loud BOOM! Throwing rocks is for lesser goblins. This bad game. Poog go watch doggies statues burn."

Poog drops the bag of rocks on the ground and turns to lead a small dance around the burning effigies.

"Rocks for...ammacherzzz. Big chief use big brain to make BIG BOOM!"

BOMB!: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (12) + 9 = 21

fire damage: 2d6 + 3 ⇒ (3, 3) + 3 = 9

Reta scores a direct hit on the vulture's beak, while Chuffy is not so lucky. A combination of the bird's evasiveness and Dillbi's quick yank keep it out of harm's way. Poog decides to play a game of his own, while Mogmurch, sharing the priest's distaste for the ammunition, mixes together some components and

BOOM!

The bomb strike the hapless bird dead-on, causing it to explode in a shower of feathers and viscera even as it droops and plummets to the ground. A few seconds of stunned silence later, the tribe erupts into cheers, and Dillbi presents Mogmurch with...a rock? "Is magical," she explains. "Swallow it, protects against big hurts for a week or so."

The goblins then begin to assemble what appears to be another game (a complex- and stupid-looking puzzle consisting of bags of wasps, boxes of nettles, and jars of nails), but the day is once again saved by none other than Squealy Nord, as he bursts into the clearing. He is battered and bruised, and without the three goblins he was sent to recover tasty truffles with. He brushes up to Poog, his master, and squeals incomprehensibly to all but the two.

Mogmurch, you have been awarded a steadfast gut-stone, the description for which can be found in Ultimate Equipment. Squealy thinks the bandits will be around for some time, so you can rest to recover abilities and heal him up first, if you so choose.

Let's do.

"Longshanks in the truffle fields?! Outrageous!

Chiefs! This must not stand! We must heal Squealy Nord and go back to the truffle fields to fit these longshanks for a bonfire!"

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"Gimme time to make more boom-booms!"

"Chuffy will scout things out..."

Chuffy will stealthily and alertly scout ahead to check out the truffle fields, hand crossbow loaded and ready...

Stealth: 1d20 + 20 ⇒ (11) + 20 = 31

Perception: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (5) + 8 = 13

Chuffy, you can place yourself wherever on the map you'd like out of sight. Anyone else can also try a Stealth check or initiate combat against these hated foes.

The chieftains quietly make their way to the truffle fields, where they come upon a sight that would terrify lesser goblins. Two wagons, their wooden panels exquisitely carved and vibrantly painted, sit in this forest clearing. The first noticeable thing in the small dell is a burning campfire and three goblin heads stuck on narrow poles. Logs for sitting and gear for cooking surround the campfire, and the smell of a greasy stew floats on the gentle summer breeze. Four armed men sit around the fire, accompanied by three evil dogs! Around the campsite there are also four evil horses, two of which are tied to the southern caravan, and the others are tied to the ground.

Whispering, Poog offers "Poog have stick of making big fire Boom. Maybe take out evil dogs and longshanks, scare horses away.

They stupid and not see us yet. You want take them by surprise?"

Poog retrives his wand of fireballs and waits for the other goblins to chime in.

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Chuffy nods in agreement with Poog. "Once you make fire, I shoot nearest thing not dead..."

Reta whispers, "Sneaky sneaks is bestest. Me and chuffy go far side. You boom them, then we stabby stab!"

Stealth: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (17) + 10 = 27

Poog will wait for Chuffy and Reta to get into position and then will use the wand, centering the fireball on the campfire.

This should hit everyone except for the two southern horses.

Fireball: 5d6 ⇒ (5, 3, 2, 2, 5) = 17

I suppose this will be needed:
Initiative: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (19) + 6 = 25

Initiative: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (12) + 3 = 15

Chuffy will fire his hand crossbow at the nearest living longshanks/dog...

Hand Crossbow: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (16) + 10 = 26

Damage: 1d3 ⇒ 3

Reflex, Longshanks (order: RBGY): 4d20 ⇒ (14, 1, 16, 20) = 51

Reflex, Horses: 2d20 ⇒ (11, 20) = 31

Before the longshanks can react, the goblins begin their mayhem. Poog's wand transforms the campfire into a fiery blast that chars all those around it, immediately sending all of the evil dogs and one longshanks to the ground, bleeding out. Chuffy then shoots the man closest to him in the back, taking him out as well.

Poog
Chuffy
Mogmurch
Longshanks (red and green -8)
Reta
Horses (northern two -8)

Bomb vs green: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (1) + 9 = 10

"Things go boom when Mogmurch throws,
Much more fun than using bows.
Sometimes where the boom boom blows
Is not my fault—that’s how it goes."

song reroll!: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (12) + 9 = 21

fire damage: 2d6 + 3 ⇒ (4, 4) + 3 = 11

Horsie takes 5 splash damage, or 2 on a DC 15 Reflex save.

"Hee Hee Hee! Doggies burn! Longshanks burn! Horsies burn, but not so well."

I'm going to assume that Mogmurch drops that longshanks. Hopefully the horses decide to run away...

Poog shouts out to the Longshanks as he charges forward.

"Stupid Longshanks shouldn't have hurt Squealy Nord! Now stupid Longshanks be dead!"

Fire Bolt at Red.

Ranged Touch: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (1) + 6 = 7
Dam: 1d6 + 2 ⇒ (3) + 2 = 5

"Urk. Maybe should have waited for Reta before charging onto field."

Reflex, Horses: 2d20 ⇒ (18, 20) = 38

Mogmurch's explosive blasts its primary target into shreds, and singes the horses. The two that are hurt buck wildly, but cannot move against their tethers, while the ones to the south look ready to run at any moment. Poog launches another flaming projectile at the last man standing, but, fueled by desperation and the desire to flee, he dodges.

Poog
Chuffy
Mogmurch
Longshanks -8
Reta
Horses (northern two -10)

Chuffy will shoot another bolt at longshanks...

Hand Crossbow: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (2) + 10 = 12

Damage: 1d3 ⇒ 1

Chuffy knocks off another bolt at the remaining longshanks, but narrowly misses. The man tries to slink away, but, in his stupidity and current predicament, he runs towards the two goblins lying in wait for him! Didn't even see the bolt coming his way, he was so preoccupied. What foolish creatures longshanks are. Not like goblin chiefs.

Poog
Chuffy
Mogmurch
Longshanks -8
Reta
Horses (northern two -10)

Reta runs up with glee as she buries the weapon deep into the man's thigh.

Dogslicer: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (17) + 9 = 26 for Bleed longshanks, BLEED!: 1d4 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 3 = 4

Thunk.

The remaining longshanks' head quickly swivels from the terrifying goblin chieftains he is running from to the terrifying goblin chieftain whose weapon now protrudes from his leg. He sighs slightly in terror and agony as he collapses. Meanwhile, the horses tied to the caravan thunder south, as far away as they can, taking their wagon with them. The other two, still tethered to the ground, buck wildly in an effort to escape their current pain and inevitable demise. Naturally, they have little to no success.

And that's what happens when you pit four goblin heroes against four first-level rogues and three CR 1/3 dogs. This is no time to slack off, though; there are still two pained and defenseless horses to murder!

Poog
Chuffy
Mogmurch
Reta
Horses (both -10)

What sadistic type of people set up camp and a fire without removing the horses from the cart?!?

"OK, horsies, now your turn! Tribe be glad for feasting tonight!"

Poog strides forward while drawing his short sword and stabs the nearest horse.

Short Sword: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8

...missing a restrained and injured horse by a mile...

Chuffy will fire a bolt at a horse...

Hand Crossbow: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (15) + 10 = 25

Damage: 1d3 ⇒ 2

Stabby stab!: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (17) + 9 = 26 for rain of blood: 1d4 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7

Sorry, guys, my post from yesterday calling off the fight got eaten. Anyway, here it is again, slightly updated.

Reta puts one horse out of its misery, leaving the chieftains to dispense of the remaining however they wish, be it with bolts, blades, fire, or any other method their goblin minds can devise. The two horses who were not tied down are already too far gone to catch up to, sadly.

On the corpses of the former bandits and their caravan, however, lie a wealth of interesting things. In addition to their equipment and that of the goblins they killed, one has a bag containing four delicious truffles, each the size of a baby's fist. A large pile of clothing and food scattered pell-mell when the fireball hit yields plenty of nice loot as well. After the spoils of war have been attended to, one objective remains: Avenge the dead and save the feast by heading to the Bestest Truffle Field and gathering more tasty treats!

On and around the bandits, you find a box of jewelry, four adamantine arrows, a well-preserved ham, three jugs of mead, a pound of cloves, a brass prosthetic foot, and a bead of blessing from the lesser strand of prayer beads. They also have some weapons and armor, but you wouldn't likely be interested in them, as they are oversized.

Reta takes a bite out of the ham as she looks through the jewelry. "Ooohh, this is the bestest beautyest one. Me keep it."

It may just be worthless glass for all she knows, but if it is shiny, pretty and she can wear it, that's the piece she wants. I'm pretty good with a bow, so I would like the arrows, but open to whatever is best for the team!

"Pfffft... weak gods give weak favors, but this bead can make goblin chiefs fight better, so I take it.

Maybe Zarongel make this bead better if I pray over it."

Can I empathically let Squeally Nord know that it is safe and that we need him to help find truffles?

Mogmurch takes the mead and cloves, certain he can use them to brew something both explosive and aromatic. He also takes the brass foot with obvious excitement.

"Oooh, maybe Mogmurch study longshanks foot, he learn good foot medicine for tribe, become village...wossname longshanks call it...podia?..pedia?..pedophile! Give lots aids to Goblin whelps!"

Chuffy sees nothing from the loot that he needs...

"Let's go get some truffles for the feast..."

He heads to the truffle fields...stealthily just in case any other longshanks are about...

Stealth: 1d20 + 20 ⇒ (13) + 20 = 33

Perception: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (19) + 8 = 27

Chuffy quickly delves ahead, a short walk, while the rest bring up the rear. At first, nothing seems out of place: the gnarled old oak (1) under which often lie the best truffles, the ruined silo (2). By the time the other chieftains catch up, however, Chuffy notices a long series of vines on the old tree that reportedly weren't there last time goblins were about, but a few days ago. What's more, they seem to be moving, innocuously enough to escape the notice of a normal person. But not a goblin chief.

You can look for truffles in places besides the tree, or deal with the vines however you see fit.

Me am not for knowed what vine is. Can Mogmurch burny-burn it?

Knowledge (Nature): 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (20) + 9 = 29

"Oooh, assassin vine! Like flytrap plant wif bigger ambitions!"

1: Resistances?
2: Senses?
3: Approximate resilience?

-.. --- -

-.. --- -

Does that happen to mean anything in Morse?

This is who I'm in the habit of posting as in "Goblin" games.

GM Crunch wrote:

-.. --- -

Does that happen to mean anything in Morse?

Yes. It spells D O T :)

I am undecided if I am going to create an alias for a pre-gen game. I haven't played one PbP before.

Yeah, it just means 'Dot.' I started doing that a while ago, for no particular reason, and then I stuck with it. (Edit: Ninja'd!)

Anyway, if everyone could dot in as their preferred alias and include the information below, that would be great. My preference would be the character you want to apply credit to, as it would save me a little time, but if you would prefer using a pregen alias or something that works too.

I don't see any reason to wait for too long or rush into it immediately, so let's say we'll begin up to one day after we have all the details hashed out. The pregens are here.

Player Name:

Character Name:

PFS Number:

Goblin Preference (looks as if we have Reta and Poog left):

Alias of Brunoreturns

I'll use this alias for pregens, as I am never going to use it again for PbP (this is a FtF character). I'll be sure to include the goblin name in my status line to limit confusion.

Player Name: Jeremy Purdy
Character Name: Reidog Blessedstone
PFS Number: 227345-1
Goblin Preference: Poog (I played Reta once before. I am fine playing Reta again, but might as well branch out.)

What level range will the Chronicle apply to? Kind of matters for determining which character to apply it to.

Ah, yes. The tier is 3-5. Because I somehow forgot this earlier, I'm going to say we are playing Classic mode unless people have done that already. That doesn't seem likely, though, at least half the table has yet to play the scenario.

Player Name: I'm Hiding In Your Closet

Character Name: Nectanebo the Vulture

PFS Number: #40025-13

Goblin Preference Mogmurch

I'll be camping this weekend with uncertain access to wifi/mobile.

I'll make updates if I am able.

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No worries, we aren't on much, if any, of a clock right now.

TriShadow here. I will use this alt for the pregen.

Player: TriShadow
Character Name:Spackle McGapfiller
PFS Number: 151777-3
Goblin Preference: Well Reta I guess, lol

Chuffy reporting in...

Player: Otha
Character Name: Flyndyngylyn
PFS: 239913-1
Goblin: Chuffy

Looks as if we have a full and ready party! I will make the introductory post tomorrow. At your leisure, please input the basic information of your goblins to your headers. The pregens can be found here.

The campaign document doesn't have stats for Squealy Nord, Poog's sheet says "see page 11", but there is no page 11.

I can assume the same stats as a boar, but I don't know what feats it might have.

I have found Squealy Nord's statistics, I will put them in the document where the maps will be (about to put the link in my header), you can do with them as you will.

If you guys want to get started right away, I have a couple of healing spells prepared (and a wand). I can easily get Squealy healed up.

@Mod What was the prize from the race?

I'll be travelling to see the eclipse the next couple days, but I should be able to keep up.

No problem, Mogmurch. It seems a bit crass to say it, but much as I might like to, I don't really want to travel to Oregon or Idaho to see something I can see on the Internet. It would be very fun and look much better than on a screen, but it's not worth 16 hours of driving.

Oh, sorry, Poog, I forgot to clarify. The prize was five doses of restorative ointment from the CRB. Each dose can either neutralize poison, remove disease, or cure light wounds (CL 5).

I don't know, seeing it in person was pretty cool. Granted, I lived about 13 miles from totality, so I was not investing nearly as much time traveling.

I'll cast some healing spells tonight when I'm not on my phone.

-Posted with Wayfinder

Have we stalled?

Looks like we are waiting on Mogmurch

-Posted with Wayfinder

My apologies, guys, I completely forgot to add Squealy Nord to the map. Sorry, that could have changed things, made them a bit easier, but so far you've been getting on fine. In fact, the final encounter is about to start.

@GM: It may be too late now, but I forgot my sneak attack damage was 2d6 for my first attack against the construct; I only rolled 1d6 for it. I did include 2d6 for my second attack (which was a flank), just screwed up the first one...

I'm really sorry for the delay.

When I read the updates on my phone, I decided that I needed to be on my PC to analyze the map and see what I could do to heal up Chuffy but then promptly forgot to check in again that evening.

Thanks for the bump.

Thanks GM! Really enjoyed it...'twas a pleasure playing with everyone...

Think I already included my PFS info but just in case:

Player: Otha
Character Name: Flyndyngylyn
PFS: 239913-1
Faction: Grand Lodge
Goblin: Chuffy

Thanks for running. This was a lot of fun. I feel that we played up the 'goblin' aspect really well.

Awesome game everyone. These goblin games are so awesomely fun to play!

I didn't realize that getting a pregen killed would cause your actual character to die! That was a scary moment (especially since Poog was 1 round away from death himself).

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I didn't realize that either...I think all of us were one round away from death 'cept for Mog...with Mog outta bombs and Chuffy outta magic bolts, not sure we could've lasted much longer...

I think that when such a thing happens, you can pay the costs when it does, or just keep playing the character. Once the character you applied credit to hits the level range (so you could have some time in between if you're playing a pregen because you don't have a high enough level character for a scenario), you die unless you can pay the costs then. I might be wrong, but fortunately nothing like it needed to happen.

Anyway, Chronicles are up here! Tell me if you have any trouble getting to or opening them.

Mogmurch, there may be one more thing to add to your Chronicle. I know that if a pregen has a Day Job skill in a normal scenario, they're entitled to a Day Job check. Does anyone know if that is true for modules that require pregens, such as this one? If so, you can roll me a check.

A day or two after everyone successfully gets their sheet, I will close down this thread. I hope everyone had fun, and thanks for bearing with me through the choppy bits and those in which I totally forgot the whole party had acted.

Don't think we have permission to your Google drive...at least I don't...when I click on the link, access is denied and it says I need permission...

I can never seem to find the menu that changes access settings for folders...thanks to the e-mails, though, I was able to change it. Should be open for everyone now.

Mogmurch, there may be one more thing to add to your Chronicle. I know that if a pregen has a Day Job skill in a normal scenario, they're entitled to a Day Job check. Does anyone know if that is true for modules that require pregens, such as this one? If so, you can roll me a check.

Craft (Alchemy): 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (19) + 10 = 29

I was able to access the sheets.

I have mine! Great work everyone.

Got it, thanks!