Sauntering over to the entwined, frozen phoenix and pixie, the moll sneers, "Together forever's too good for ya. I hope the MCP erases your source and all your backups once it's got time to take out the trash. Your kind makes me sick!"
She turns and strolls slowly to the rooftop, form shimmering slightly as it digitally blurs and refocuses into the body of a well-built young man clad in a form-fitting black suit, fluorescent blue lines tracing circuit-like patterns. A swirl of bits around his head becomes a helmet, and a bright disk appears fastened in a harness on his back.
"I should have listened to you, harr.e, but I couldn't resist the thrill of peeking and poking around where I shouldn't. Once you and l.exe and I parted ways, I got into a bit of trouble. But instead of derezzing me, the MCP thought it could use my talents as a debugger. I wasn't completely trusted, of course, so got thrown into a suite with the Wowbagger code. Now we work for the core. "
The man steps onto the parapet of the building, overlooking the city morosely. "And we're down to this. I know my partner is uninfected, but both JavaApp and Meowselsworth scanned as blackhat viruses. We know there is a blackhat because of what happened to poor Hamish."
The man crouches slightly, bringing his arms up behind him like a swimmer on the blocks. "Time to choose." Swinging his arms forward, he dives into empty space, dropping among the canyons of the city, until his arms sweep out and wings form around them. A tiny jet of black and fluorescent blue grows to enclose him as he pulls out of the dive and sweeps across the lanes of traffic, a streak of blue light and impenetrable darkness.
"I've reviewed both of you. JavaApp has been consistent, as has Meowselsworth. But Hamish had just named Moewslesworth before he was assassinated. Maybe JavaApp is doing a good job of misdirecting our suspicion, but he has volunteered information that holds together. Meows has done little besides throw adorable memes out to confuse us. I fear the Meowsleslworth program is a vicious virus and will do everything I can to ensure it loses this race!"
The jet swoops past the rainbow cycle, a cloud of exhaust obscuring the rainbows and the roar of the engines drowing out the chorus of 'nyan nyan nyan' that echoes through the city streets.
"Join us, JavaApp! Would you have Mainframe spend all its resoures delivering poptarts and playing obnoxious music?"
"Have you listened to me, IEFBR14?" says Meowselsworth through her helmet, "Everything I've said is consistent with how I have acted. And you cannot both be a backup and a virus, the same is not necessarily true of our friend, the decompiler... I said that I did not think that Uriel Phoenix was a virus, and I was right back then."
"I told you why. I am the backup. He was one of my enablers. Forgive me for trusting code that let me do what I do best: Protect. Certainly, I occasionally spoke up, but what is important for a protector such as myself, is to stay alive to serve others in the quiet between cycles. Why do you think I asked so fervently to let Uriel Phoenix live, before I had to resignedly give the last vestige of my strength up. Only when he was revealed as the binary program, absolutely confirmed by tinker.dll in her throes, did I speak up."
"Before you admitted to be part of the debugger suite, I spoke of you being the debugger suite just a few moments ago, as I had enough time to get one scan through. That was a scan of you, IEFBR14. Why would I reveal that earlier, knowing that Wowbagger was to be your public face as was so apparent? The aspect of the program exposed to risk? And the memes are not to confuse, they are to entertain! They entertain many people every day. I have a duty as a lolcat and as a nyancat to give the people what they want."
"What information do you honestly think that I should have given in my position, IEFBR14? I could not finish my second scan, as we may wish to note... my last enabler is dead, but I wanted to double check the Java App. Java App may truly be the decompiler, but that is not mutually exclusive with being virus.blackhat. But me... I was your protector. I was equipped to ward off viruses. I was the one who is always awake and always watching. I WAS YOUR BACKUP! And if you kill me, we are all going to die, except for the virus. Being a backup, even without enablers... I do not want to see more of you face deletion... It is impossible to both be a protector and a virus. Java App was using his special role as a shield. After all, why would we vote for a decompiler? Someone we absolutely knew was useful to us? It was strategically right for a virus to absolutely flaunt that role as Java App did. I can even give you who I chose to protect each round. Round one: I protected Uriel Phoenix. I had no role knowledge, after all, except for my enablers, and he was just the one I chose. I should have chosen harr.e.hunter for protection... Round two: Wowbagger. He revealed himself, I found it admirable, and wished his survival. Round three: I protected Answerer, it was clear that Answerer was the Whitehat from voting records. But Uriel died. And Answerer was targeted. As I said, I am impotent without my enabler..."
"I needed to keep mine secret, because if I revealed it, I thought I was certain to die... Unlike you and Wowbagger, my role is not one involving information. Mine is a role involving protection... and stealth. And I withheld my vote until I heard from you, IEFBR14, because I know to trust you. I needed you to confirm that Wowbagger was what he said he was before I could confidently cast my vote. I could have voted for him, matched Java App's hasty vote... and if I were a virus, that was all that would make sense. But I am not. Even if I die, it will be with paws pointing to a virus."
"I would prefer to be judged on the result of my scan, though the way you ask that makes me worry that it is erroneous... Still, the odds should be in my favour," says Meowselsworth to Wowbagger, through the digital helmet, leaving rainbow exhaust behind her sweet motorbike as a pair of digital goggles appear over her eyes.
"Well, I have been accused of being antiquated, but one thing I learned is good ole poker skills from humans. This statement seems to be a bluff to me. Putting goggles over your eyes is typically done after bluffs--some even hide behind a hoodie sweatshirt."
Speaking to the cat.
"As you knew the stakes quite well, your role as protector was not worth hiding last round. With the logic bomb going off, two binary pieces going, and the derezz by the viruses, staying silent last round wasn't so important, as the following round was to be decided completely in the voting round. Revealing your role now after votes have been cast for you seems quite suspicious."
"Finally, although I am antiquated, Hamish's words were what was called a deathbed confession. Earthlings put great stock by them as a person faced with his own death was supposed to be the most truthful. I have to put great stock in Hamish's deathbed assertion. The fact that he proved to be a victim makes his assertion all the more powerful."
"sodifficultsoconfusing IEFBR14makesgoodsense butwanttogivecatcheezeburger Hamishdidlabelthecat wowbaggerwaswrongaboutUrielandJava somaybethenrightaboutMeows whattodo whattodo"
"My statement was not a bluff. The odds should have worked in my favour... but your question made me worried that you were wrong, and judged me blackhat rather than backup," says Meowselsworth. "And this is the round immediately after all that happened, Wowbagger. In that round, it was worth not drawing attention to myself, I thought perhaps I could get in my protection before Uriel died. I was wrong. And the goggles are so bugs do not get into my eyes as I ride my lightcycle. It's just proper safety precaution."
Caption: SAFETY CAT IZ SERIOUS ABOUT EYE PROTECTION!
"Also, I implied my role to you before IEFBR14 got in a vote," remarks Meowselsworth. "As I said, before that, I only hoped your judgment would clear me, rather than condemn me."
Java Apps' coffee cup cycle pulls in along side IEFBR14 and Wowbagger, it's brown streak clashing with their neon brilliance.
"onanalysisitappearsthatIEFBR14andWowbaggerarecorrect onlythegoodguyscouldknoweachotheratthispoint IEFBR14saysWowbaggerisitspartner thismakesthedecisionclear sorrylittlekittyyoudeservebetter Iwillputcheezeburgersonyourgravelikeflowers"
Now running her rainbow lightcycle alone, the feline stares ahead, speaking into her com softly. "I appreciate it, Java App. I suppose you will be the only one to survive to do it..." She thinks for a few moments and says, "Remember me as one who fought valiantly. I never thought I'd have to make such a request in my own afterlife."
"Also, now that I think about it... The Cunningham program's last words were not a deathbed confession. Certainly, those were its last words, but it was not faced with death at the time of saying them," says Meowselsworth from behind the pack. "I am still quite irate that nobody is following my logic. I am quite well aware, due to my other enabler having been Eldon Gorski, a Forensics suite, who was doomed by you all by random chance, and random chance being hard to argue against... that Forensics suites and Decompilers can indeed have a second role. You will all be killed by perceiving usefulness in Java App after all my efforts to keep you safe..."
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Meowselsworth leans forward on her lightcycle, "When I lived, I was a good cat. I was a good cat for all of my life. I did everything I could to make the people of the Cold Star happy. And then, I was a bad cat." Her fangs grow and her claws extend, the digital helmet around her head expanding, numbers swirling around her.
"I killed my best friends and people I barely knew. I went through great pains to kill as many as possible. And then... they killed me. But because of the good I did in my life, they gave me the gift of an afterlife." Meowselsworth looks around her at mainframe. "A digital afterlife. I think this is it for me, though. My soul faces deletion. Perhaps for the things I did in life. Punishment for being a bad cat."
"I thought this was the place to atone. I thought this was the place for me to bring new beginnings, and instead of slaying my friends... perhaps this was a chance to protect new ones who could stay with me for my afterlife. Maybe I could do something could. Maybe I could beat my darkside and do good for the world, as the next MCP! I've always been a touch more clever than I looked. My calculations would serve me well, here."
"I must doff my helmet to the coffee goblin, however. Because in my death, he accomplished what I could not in my life. He killed them all. He will kill them all and achieve piece and quiet." Indeed, as she speaks, the digital hat and all the swirling numbers tilts up towards Java App, and the two riders flanking the coffee goblin.
"You win. You win your lonely kingdom. Even tinker.dll will not be able to keep you company now. Using the skills I learned in the last time of my life, the skills that I used to kill, I tried to use them to protect. I guess I was just a better killer than I ever was a protector... I failed harr.e.hunter, I failed the oracle Answerer, and I even failed Hammish Cunningham, even if his misguided last words spelled our deaths. All could have been useful components of the MCP, and I let them face deletion. I failed at many things, but I think I would not have failed as a component of the MCP. And as I face deletion, I should forgo my part in this competition, if this is to be my eternal legacy, and show you "
The cat leaps off of the lightcycle, which crashes into the wall and bursts into a fiery explosion, the lines of code swirling around the feline, expanding rapidly.
It will only be a short matter of time before the feline's code is burnt out, overloading herself with gargantuan tasks, the numbers dancing with the rainbow fire to the sound of broken nyans.
With the destruction of the last virus, the collaborative apps have completed the challenge!