not sure if this is the right forum, but, please can you double check my advanced creatures?
WATER LEAPER CR 2
XP 600
CN Small magical beast (aquatic)
Init +7; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision; Perception +6
DEFENSE
AC 14, touch 14, flat-footed 11 (+3 Dex, +1 size)
hp 22 (3d10+6)
Fort +5, Ref +6, Will +3
OFFENSE
Speed 20 ft., fly 20 ft. (clumsy), swim 30 ft.
Melee bite +5 (1d4+1), sting +5 (1d4+1 plus 1 bleed and jagged sting)
Special Attacks bleed (1), jagged sting, water leap
STATISTICS
Str 12, Dex 16, Con 15, Int 7, Wis 14, Cha 13
Base Atk +3; CMB +4; CMD 17
Feats Flyby Attack, Improved Initiative
Skills Acrobatics +11 (+15 when jumping), Fly -3, Perception +6, Stealth +11, Swim +9; Racial Modifiers +4 Acrobatics (+8 when jumping)
Languages Aquan
SQ amphibious
ECOLOGY
Environment any lakes or swamps
Organization solitary
Treasure standard
SPECIAL ABILITIES
Jagged Sting (Ex) A water leaper's sting causes dangerous shards too tiny for the eye to see to break off into the target's flesh and cause bleeding. A successful DC 15 Heal check stops the bleeding and removes the fragments. However, magical and supernatural healing of any kind doesn't stop the bleeding and instead seals the fragments within the wound, increasing the bleed damage to 1d4 points and the Heal DC to stop the bleeding to 20. Further such healing still doesn't stop the bleed effect, but also doesn't increase the damage or Heal DC further.
Water Leap (Ex) Water leapers get their name from their uncanny ability to ambush prey by leaping out of the water. A water leaper that begins its turn in the water can make a special leaping charge attack. This special charge doesn't need to be in a straight line with respect to altitude, allowing the water leaper to leap out, up and over the rim of a boat, and down onto its prey. At the end of a water leap, the water leaper can make both a bite and a sting attack.
Under the Water Leaper entry, there's this bit:
A water mauler is a Large water leaper advanced by adding HD. It gains two claw attacks, rend (2 claws), and pounce (replacing water leap).
WATER MAULER CR 4
XP 600
CN Large magical beast (aquatic)
Init +5; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision; Perception +6
DEFENSE
AC 12, touch 10, flat-footed 11 (+1 Dex, +2 nat, -1 size)
hp 52 (5d10+25)
Fort +9, Ref +5, Will +3
OFFENSE
Speed 40 ft., fly 30 ft. (clumsy), swim 40 ft.
Melee bite +11 (1d8+7), sting +11 (1d8+7 plus 1 bleed and jagged sting), 2x claw +11 (1d6+7)
Special Attacks bleed (1), jagged sting, rend (2 claws, 1d6+17), pounce
STATISTICS
Str 24, Dex 12, Con 21, Int 7, Wis 14, Cha 13
Base Atk +5; CMB +13; CMD 17
Feats Flyby Attack, Improved Initiative, Improved Natural Attack (sting)
Skills Acrobatics +9 (+13 when jumping), Fly -6, Perception +5, Stealth +0, Swim +11; Racial Modifiers +4 Acrobatics (+8 when jumping)
Languages Aquan
SQ amphibious
ECOLOGY
Environment any lakes or swamps
Organization solitary
Treasure standard
SPECIAL ABILITIES
Jagged Sting (Ex) A water leaper's sting causes dangerous shards too tiny for the eye to see to break off into the target's flesh and cause bleeding. A successful DC 15 Heal check stops the bleeding and removes the fragments. However, magical and supernatural healing of any kind doesn't stop the bleeding and instead seals the fragments within the wound, increasing the bleed damage to 1d4 points and the Heal DC to stop the bleeding to 20. Further such healing still doesn't stop the bleed effect, but also doesn't increase the damage or Heal DC further.
TENTAMORTCR 4
XP 1,200
N Medium aberration
Init +5; Senses all-around vision, blindsense 30 ft., darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +11
DEFENSE
AC 17, touch 11, flat-footed 16 (+1 Dex, +6 natural)
hp 39 (6d8+12)
Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +7
OFFENSE
Speed 20 ft., climb 20 ft.
Melee sting +6 (1d6+2 plus poison), tentacle +2 (1d6+1 plus grab)
Space 5 ft.; Reach 10 ft.
Special Attacks constrict (1d6+1)
STATISTICS
Str 15, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 1, Wis 14, Cha 6
Base Atk +4; CMB +6 (+10 grapple); CMD 17 (can't be tripped)
Feats Improved Initiative, Lightning Reflexes, Weapon Focus (tentacle)
Skills Climb +10, Perception +11
ECOLOGY
Environment any marshes or underground
Organization solitary, pair, or brood (3–6)
Treasure incidental
SPECIAL ABILITIES
Poison (Ex) Sting—injury; save Fort DC 15; frequency 2 rounds; effect 1d4 Con plus nausea; cure 1 save.
Under the Tentamort entry there's this bit:
Some tentamorts grow much larger than their human-sized kin. Known as greater tentamorts, these ogre-sized creatures have at least 10 Hit Dice and are Large sized. Their two specialized tentacles grow to 20 feet long, providing the creature with greater reach than a Large monster normally possesses. Greater tentamorts are never found in groups, for these creatures can only achieve such monstrous size through cannibalism, as if there were some key nutrient in another tentamort's body that allows them to exceed their typical physical limitations. Some of these creatures have mutations giving them two tentacles and two stingers. Yet the most disturbing quality possessed by these monsters is their unexpected intellect—greater tentamorts are often as intelligent as humans, or more so. They cannot speak, but possess an eerie form of telepathy that works only upon creatures they are in physical contact with—a feature they often use to "chat" with their food as they eat.
GREATER TENTAMORT CR 7
XP 1,200
N Large aberration
Init +4; Senses all-around vision, blindsense 30 ft., darkvision 60 ft., telepathy (contact only); Perception +14
DEFENSE
AC 18, touch 9, flat-footed 18 (+9 natural, -1 size)
hp 85 (10d8+40)
Fort +7, Ref +5, Will +9
OFFENSE
Speed 30 ft., climb 30 ft.
Melee 2x sting +13 (1d6+6 plus poison), 2x tentacle +8 (1d6+3 plus grab); PA 2x Sting +11 (1d6+10 plus poison), 2x tentacle +6 (1d6+7 plus grab)
Space 10 ft.; Reach 20 ft.
Special Attacks constrict (1d6+3)
STATISTICS
Str 23, Dex 11, Con 18, Int 10, Wis 14, Cha 6
Base Atk +7; CMB +14 (+18 grapple); CMD 24 (can't be tripped)
Feats Improved Initiative, Lightning Reflexes, Weapon Focus (tentacle), Weapon Focus (sting), Power Attack
Skills Climb +19, Perception +14, Stealth +9, Swim +19
ECOLOGY
Environment any marshes or underground
Organization solitary, pair, or brood (3–6)
Treasure incidental
SPECIAL ABILITIES
Poison (Ex) Sting—injury; save Fort DC 15; frequency 2 rounds; effect 1d4 Con plus nausea; cure 1 save.
thanks!
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Your water mauler looks pretty well thought out. It's particularly tricky since it doesn't tell you how many HD to add so you have to pick a CR and do it yourself. I only see two problems off the bat, one of which is very minor.
XP: should be 1200 (minor)
CR/HP/HD: The bestiary is a bit convoluted, but the method is to determine how many HP the advanced creature should have based on new CR and add HD based on that. From CR2 to CR4 should add 20 HP. And since the water mauler is going from small to large, you are adding 6 Con (3 HP/HD). The closest you can get to 20 HP is one extra HD, not two. (1d10+5 HP for the new HD and an extra 9 HP for the existing 3HD.) Going down to 4 HD in turn lowers your BAB, skills, and number of feats.
The other option is to leave the stats as-is and raise the CR to 5, but then you're a little on the low side of HP for CR5.
edit: None of which is to say you did it wrong. The Monster Creation and Advancement appendixes use words like "guidelines," "assist," "exceptions," and "roughly" all the time. If you like what you created and it is appropriate for your group, go with it.
Creating a monster is part science and part art.
ok, yes I forgot to adjust the XP based on new CR.
The thing with the water mauler that stands out to me is its damage output. Let's just assume it lands all 4 natural attacks plus rend:
That's permadeath for a lvl 5 PC. So, raising it's CR seems the right move.
I think the way I arrived at it was adjusting the CR based on growing from a small to large creature, then deriving the HD based on CR.
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There’s two ways of advancing monsters: adding templates or adding HD. When you add templates, you put on the templates and that tells you what the new CR is. “OK, I made it giant and advanced, how much CR does that add?”
Adding HD flips that process. Even though it’s called “adding HD” the first thing you do is determine what you want the new CR to be. Then use the table to determine how many more HP the new CR would have. Then determine how many HD you need to add to get to that HP. You can change the size if you want, but that doesn’t directly change the CR. Because changing size normally changes CON, it changes how many HD you need to add to get to your new HP total.
The book process of adding HD doesn’t do a great job of spelling out how to make some changes, particularly saving throws.
Note those stat by CR suggestion are vague suggestions depending on the role of the monster. A purely combat monster should have significantly more than said 20 more hp, the 30 it got is perfectly acceptable, especially when the AC is only 14.
Yeah the HP and AC seem fair to me, the monster would only last 2-3 rounds with a well balanced party with decent rolls. It's that brutal pounce full attack and rend that concern me. That's an unfortunate PC who steps too close to the water's edge. At least the dismal stealth decreases the chance of it happening on a surprise round.