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Wowie, well, I just had a huge wall of text that I wrote where I was trying to carefully, tactfully, and respectfully respond to a few people and explain things and as I hit post it was gobbled up by either the post monster, an internet hiccup, or a caching error in my browser.
:(
I hope my point came through well enough to anyone willing to hear it, I already knew at the outset that, as I said, it was going to spike some peoples blood pressure and in hindsight, that should have probably been a sign that what I was posting could be construed as bait, so please accept my apologies if my concerns have unduly bothered anyone. I don't have the energy or motivation to start in on it all over again but I'll just summarize.
I just want even enforcement of the community guidelines for everyone, the level of disrespect being shown to some users who genuinely do not seem to be here trying to stir the pot or be disruptive is something I personally find unacceptable and unbecoming of a community that wants to be welcoming to everyone, failing to do so invites people to continue to act hateful and to collectively harass others. I get that my "hot takes" on some subjects put a black mark on my name for you as have some of the takes of other posters but that shouldn't mean that you've earned the right to treat them so badly.
That's all, again my sincere apologies for any current or past offense I might have given on this or any other subject. You're all valid people and your perspectives are all perfectly valid, I just want the universal civility back again.
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“Civility” is nice to have, but it’s not the end-all, be-all of community: many of those who aren’t behaving “civilly” are those reacting because hateful bad actors are allowed to remain here and continue harming them. How many times should we bear transphobia and racism apologia? Why do we weight the politeness of one’s speech over the harm it actually does?
You can be a bigot with perfect punctuation.
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personally if a bunch of people said i was doing something inappropriate i would not assume they're all lying to me for no reason
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This is what I meant with my post on civility above.
We’re now three months in to a mess where a company a lot of us thought had our backs had actually been guilty of systemic transphobia, baked into actual policy. The discussion around that was understandably emotional, but it also brought out some pretty toxic vitriol; people argued that trans women were dangerous predators, legal liabilities, essentially men, and more. We’ve had people misgender not only third-parties, but other forum users. Those voicing concerns or hurt have been labeled everything from pointless whiners to cruel authoritarians.
It’ll be month four of this soon, with no end in sight. May of those responsible have not received the much-talked-about bans. That many make their points - many riddled with transphobic dogwhistles - without “yelling” or resorting to emotional replies does not make them better members of this community than those who have been under basically constant attack. Please, /please/ learn to see the larger picture.
I’m exhausted, as are many other trans users here. It has not been fun to be here through this. I’m struggling to keep hold on any joy Pathfinder might hold for me because of it. Keep all of this in mind when you see people like me frustrated with non-stop hateful nonsense, when we react with something other than saintly grace.
Civility is nice. Driving hate out of this community is essential.
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Tonya thanks for your hard work on a weekend!!
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Speaking entirely neutrally to what TNG is doing here, it is not bullying to be heavily critical of an authority figure, which is what the person who had the power to fire Sara Marie undeniably would be called.
I have a great deal of sympathy for the Customer Service Team, and some of that sympathy also extends to Tonya as a human being in a bad position. I also think that a lot of this mess appears to be directly her making, as she is the one who got herself promoted above Sara Marie and immediately fired her, and it is fair to expect her to have some plan for the community beyond the status quo when she is the one who put herself into the position to begin with. If you lobby to replace someone else, you kind of need to show that you have a better way of running things than your predecessor did. Otherwise, why replace them at all?
It is an enormously complicated and nuanced situation, and I think our community's tendency to be overwhelmingly sympathetic and supportive of the moderation, in this case, needs to be tempered by an awareness of the facts as we understand them. I do believe that there were more qualified figures to head the Customer Service team, for instance. Sara Marie remains one of them. Diego Valdez is another, of course.
I appreciate Tonya's moderation above. Tonya has been very nice to me as long as we've been interacting. I really, really don't like being "mean" to someone who is nice to me. I hate burning bridges and I hate hurting people and I hate feeling like I'm "betraying" someone. But the facts are still here in front of me, and sometimes nice person do bad things. Someone can be nice and not deserve a position of authority. Someone can be nice and still deserve criticism.
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A bed was made and now someone must lay in it.
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What an interesting choice of passive voice for "Tonya fired Sara Marie". Isn't that what happened? Why talk around it? If I'm wrong, tell me.
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I believe Diego has explicitly referenced it on these forums, for one thing. Go browse his posts.