(Not sure if this is in the right thread, please move if not)
I'm writing a custom ability for a monster that triggers... well, the current wording is "when this creature is critically hit by an attack that deals fire damage or critically fails its save against a damaging effect with the fire trait...", but that is super wordy.
Could I write, "when this creature takes critical fire damage..." instead? If you read that in a monster stat block, would you understand what it means? Or is there an better way to word what I am going for?
With your shorter phrase, I expect that there would be arguments about whether it only included critical hits or both critical hits and critical save failures.
...Yeah, you are probably right. I keep hoping there is a less-wordy way to say "is taking double fire damage because of dice roll", but I haven't thought of it yet.
EDIT: Just saw your post, themetricsystem. I'm not sure how exactly you mean to reword it that would actually be shorter; "suffers a critical hit from an attack that deals fire damage" is basically the same length as "is critically hit by an attack that deals fire damage", if not longer. Can you give me an example?
I saw an "official" ability along the same line on some existing monster (can't remember where exactly) and it was basically as wordy as yor text.
You could state the fire requirement only once but that seems to be it if you want to stay clear.
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You might houserule a particular language structure for this. That way you at least only have to write it once.
Something along the lines of:
critical damage effect: This is a damaging effect caused by either a critical hit from an attack, or a critical failure from an effect that requires a saving throw.
Then you could write your trigger more effectively:
When this creature experiences a critical damage effect with the fire attribute...