This is my first serious crack at homebrew, and I’m looking for more opinions on it. Are there any parts that people think are unbalanced or unwieldy? All suggestions and criticism on any aspect of the bloodline are welcome. Thanks in advance!
Bloodline Skill: Knowledge (engineering)
Bloodline Feats: Armor Proficiency (all), Craft Construct, Great Fortitude, Iron Will, Skill Focus (knowledge [engineering]), Toughness
Bloodline Spells: 3rd-magic weapon, 5th-chill/heat metal (chosen when gained, cannot be changed), 7th-greater magic weapon, 9th-rusting grasp, 11th-permanency, 13th-wall of iron, 15th-mage's sword, 17th-repel metal or stone, 19th-meteor swarm
Bloodline Arcana: +1 to attack with metal weapons
1st lvl-Razor Sharp (Su): touch a metal weapon as a standard action to grant keen for a number of rounds equal to half your sorcerer level (rounded down, min. 1), at 9th level can instead be wounding for half duration. You can use this ability a number of times per day equal to 3 + your Charisma modifier
3rd lvl-Mithral Grace (Ex): the sorcerer becomes more comfortable in metal armor, decrease the arcane spell failure chance of metal armor decreases by 10%, this decreases to 20% at 9th level, and 30% at 15th level
9th lvl-Ferrokinesis: as telekinesis, but only works on metals 1/day, increases to 2/day at 15th level and 3/day at 20th.
15th lvl-Metal Molding: treated as knowing all required spells for the purpose of creating metal constructs or magic items
20th lvl-Adamantine Toughness: DR 5/- stacks with adamantine armor
Dunno about the bloodline arcana, it seems dull. Also poorly defined - is a metal weapon one with a metal point/edge (e.g. spear) or one made mostly of metal (most swords), or does the weapon have to be entirely free of leather, wood etc. to qualify?
Maybe instead something like ignoring DR equal to the spell level the round after casting a personal range spell. Or something else; +1 attack just seems bland.
Mithral grace is poorly worded. I can see what it's saying, but remove the first 'decrease' and change the last 'decreases' to increases I think.
Also who would get this bloodline? Where does it come from?
Where would the bloodline come from? Maybe a little backstory can help.
I had actually forgotten about that arcana, I made this a while ago and rediscovered it recently, apparently I skimmed over the arcana. I agree that it is dull and could do with changing.
I'll add a spoiler with the most current version of the bloodline after every post for the sake of clarity, and the wordings will be updated in it.
As for the backstory, I am thinking of descent from a great smith, perhaps the creator of a legendary weapon or suit of armor, but to be honest I do know that when I made it my only central theme was metal. I think I was kind of aiming for a sort of battlemage, but since magus does gish far better than a sorcerer likely ever could, I think I would like to shift the focus more towards a craftsman.
To that end, I changed the bloodline skill, and I have updated the wording throughout the bloodline to be more understandable and look less like a bunch of jotted down notes. I am unsure about what to change the arcana to, I like the idea of piercing DR, but I'm not completely sold on it yet.
Thanks for the suggestions so far, and please keep them coming!
Bloodline Skill: Craft (weapons or armor)
Bloodline Feats: Armor Proficiency (all), Craft Construct, Great Fortitude, Iron Will, Skill Focus (knowledge [engineering]), Toughness
Bloodline Spells: 3rd-magic weapon, 5th-chill/heat metal (chosen when gained, cannot be changed), 7th-greater magic weapon, 9th-rusting grasp, 11th-permanency, 13th-wall of iron, 15th-mage's sword, 17th-repel metal or stone, 19th-meteor swarm
Bloodline Arcana: ?
1st lvl-Razor Sharp (Su): You may grant the keen property to any eligible weapon by touching it as a standard action, for a number of rounds equal to half your sorcerer level (rounded down, to a minimum of 1 round), at 9th level you may instead grant wounding for half the duration. You may use this ability a number of times per day equal to 3 + your Charisma modifier
3rd lvl-Mithral Grace (Ex): The sorcerer becomes more comfortable in metal armor, the arcane spell failure chance of metal armor decreases by 10%, this bonus increases to 20% at 9th level, and 30% at 15th level
9th lvl-Ferrokinesis: You gain telekinesis as a spell-like ability 1/day, but it only functions on metal, the uses increase to 2/day at 15th level, and 3/day at 20th.
15th lvl-Metal Molding: You are treated as knowing all required spells for the purpose of creating metal constructs or magic items.
For the purpose of this ability, any weapon or ammunition with a metal "business end" is viable, as are metal shields armor, and rings. At the GM's discretion, thematically appropriate wondrous items made mostly or entirely of metal could be allowed as well.
20th lvl-Adamantine Toughness: You gain DR 5/- that stacks with the damage reduction granted by wearing adamantine armor