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So, today we started Dead Suns. As usual, my friends didn't fail to impress me, make a huge mess of things in their wake, and entertain us with some black comedy.
Meet the Crew
All Aboaaaaaaaaaaaaaard
Upon their arrival, they look for their contact, Duravor Kreel. After some getting to know each other, complicated slightly by the fact that all they know about Duravor is that he's a he, they find their man. Somehow, Maelari doesn't notice him. Emissary does notice the two groups of gangers getting ready to draw down on each other, and politely asks Duravor if he notices the strange men "getting ready to attack each other."
Then all hell breaks loose as laser fire fills the docking bay! People scream and run for their lives, our heroes go into cover, and Duravor heroically takes a laser bolt to the windpipe. Chikkuumzu immediately opens fire with his assault cannon on one of the Downsiders, while everyone shuffles around laying down covering fire/exchanging gunfire with the Level 21 Boyz and Downsiders.
Zam moves out into the open and tries to save their contact's life. Emissary wonders if that is a tactically sound idea. Chikkuumzu is too busy screaming like a madman over the sound of his assault cannon to consider tactics. Maelari moves in to help Zam drag Duravor to cover.
Zam then gets the idea of dropping Duravor onto the baggage train that's parked in the docking bay. The rest of the group, save Chikkuumzu, agree. (Chikkuumzu is exchanging obscenities and energy discharge with one particularly stubborn Downsider.) Once Zam gets the baggage train started, he drives it around the docking bay as the party boards. Our ace pilot gets the train to serve as a mobile gun platform, picking the vesk up once they drive on over (and once he finally manages to hit the Downsider, reducing his head to "what looks like he suffered a catastrophic stroke on both sides.")
As they drive to "glory" out of docking bay 94, one of the Downsiders decides to get brave and hop on the one empty space in the baggage train. This... does not work out for him, and he goes down in a hail of gunfire (and under the tires of the baggage train. Thankfully, Zam decided not to back over him "just to make sure.")
So. Yes. The group borrowed the baggage train that one of the Level 21 Boyz was using as cover (which he stopped doing once a critical hit set him on fire.) They had a fun time explaining that to Station Security.
You Pay For the Dance in Advance, Right?
So now the crew met Chiskisk and were handed their first mission: Avenge the death of Duravor. One tram trip to the Downside, and seven hours of kasatha inquiries, lashunta 16-Charisma cleavage, and various naked threats to sentient life from the vesk later, they find out about the Fusion Queen Nightclub. The bouncers don't let Chikkuumzu in (specifically, they don't let his assault cannon in; he decides to go across the street and sulk at another bar called Another Bar) but the rest of the party gets in after checking their weapons. (I didn't want Emissary's Diplomacy check to go to waste.)
The crew decides that the best way to get information is, in classic sci-fi tradition, to go to the bar and buy drinks go all-in on a lap dance for the android. The shirren who offered the dance was vetoed; they got a human instead. "You are very skilled at giving lap dances," Emissary said. "Should I be feeling something right now? I *am* fully functional, after all."
This gets the wheels turning in Zam's head. He comes to the conclusion that, in order to meet the leader of the Downsiders, they need to get Maelari to wear lipstick and skimpy club clothes and "apply for a job" (read: "dance on the table") and see if she gets a job.
The Stripperific Earn-As-You-Learn Program
Maelari: (wiggling antennae) I don't own any skimpy clothes...
No problem. Common clothes are one credit, professional clothes are five. ("The professional stripper clothes come with a transparent silk tie," I said. "After all, when you have a job interview, you wear a tie. No exceptions.")
The next night, Emissary then offers to help everyone conceal their guns; Chikkuumzu passes and decides to give the bouncers the stink-eye from Another Bar. The bouncers take their dear sweet time feeling Maelari up/searching her for weapons, and once everyone's cleared to go in, Maelari hops onto a table and begins "shaking her lobes and her ass-ets."
Maelari: (wiggling antennae) I don't know how to dance!
Me: Straight Charisma check! :D
(She got a 17.)
Zam sticks around her, silently acting as a lookout/bodyguard while Emissary goes into the staff-only area. Sure, he did initially piss off the three gangers playing poker, but when he asked about the game (good Diplomacy check!!) they grinned at each other, looking forward to winning some of Emi's money.
He won some hands, lost some hands (yay +2 Bluff!) and finally decided that he needed to cheat to win.
Good news: He won.
Bad news: He got caught cheating. ("I saw you pull a card! And what the hell is a 27 of spades!?")
Just at that moment, Zam goes to check on Emissary. In chronological order:
1. Zam goes to check on Emissary, just as his cheating is discovered.
2. The Downsiders pull their guns.
3. Emissary pulls his laser pistol from his concealed carry compartment.
4. Zam opens the doors and asks "What the hell's going on back here?"
5. One of the Downsiders aims at Zam instead.
6. Zam grins and whips his concealed slugthrower pistol out from behind his arms.
"The Crew Shoot Up a Night Club"/"It's Always Sunny in Absalom Station"
Immediately, it goes to gunfire. Zam uses his Mind Thrust on one of the gangers (doesn't kill him) while Emissary overturns the table for cover. Maelari hops off the table ("Boing!") and walks over to the backroom. Once Chikkuumzu hears the high-pitched whine of laser fire, he spins around on his barstool, aims his assault cannon at once of the bouncers, and shouts "HEY! A+###@&!" just as he pulls the trigger.
While the gunfight's going on, Zam uses Telekinetic Projectile to hurl an amplifier at the guy he Mind Thrusted. (Didn't kill him, either.) Once he started to flee, Zam followed him, trying to brain him with a Telekinetic Projectile-hurled cash register because "HE'S A WITNESS!"
He missed, by the way.
Vrokilayo, this friggin' huge vesk bodyguard, comes out of the back office with his own assault cannon. Zam mind thrusts him (doesn't kill him, either.) and Vrok replies by shouting "YOUR DEAD, PSYKER!" and double-tapping with the assault cannon.
Miss, and a natural 1. Fun! :D
The gun fight continues. Zam uses Telekinetic Projectile on a chair, hurling it at Vrok.
Natural 20.
Boxcars on the damage.
Vrokilayo gets one chair leg through each eye, and the remaining two legs messily through his chest. He goes down, dead-man's-trigger-finger blowing part of the ceiling apart. The remaining Downsiders surrender.
Ferani surrenders as well; I played her as knowing when to cut her losses. She spills the beans on the plot, and she and her gang will leave the crew alone.
Gathering into the office, one of the Downsiders slips Maelari his comm number, making the universal "call me" gesture.
Just as a final bargaining chip, Emissary takes the chair that's impaling the dead vesk and props it under the doorknob.
The Summary
My group "borrowed" a baggage train and turned it into a gun platform, convinced one of their own to wear sexy clothing and dance for perverts, turned a backroom poker game into a brutal gun battle, hurled a cash register across a night club floor and through the front window, and pinned a chair on a pissed-off lizard-man.
In short: We had a blast!
Hmmm So a rank in Profession [Stripper] can pay off.
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Yes yes, but was the solarian underpowered?
I love the antennae thing.
Awesome.