Player / GM Communication: "It's Important to Me"

[Kobold Catgirl]

Here's a Twitter thread I found fascinating. Reposted below:

@OneShotRPG wrote:

HOLY COW. On the most recent episode of #thezonecast @travismcelroy used an amazing player technique that I want to discuss.

It is so valuable I believe it is the player's answer to the GM's "What do you do?" I am going to avoid spoilers.

During a mildly cinematic scene he asked his GM for a cool character moment, and followed it with "It's important to me."

It was a simple phrase but it was a really strong signal to his GM.

A lot of the GM advice I give boils down to "listen to your players, and build on what they want." It's simple, but it's hard to follow.

You juggle a lot as GM, and you have to weigh player desire against the reality of your world.

It can be difficult to discern when a player is playing around a challenge, and when they have a real vision for their story.

"It's important to me," communicates exactly what a DM needs to hear.
It's the sort of communication that will sidestep arguments.

Think of how many times you have seen a player argue why their action is "right." Why the rules support them and the DM needs to listen.

If players put themselves in the vulnerable position of communicating "this is important to me," the game will run smoother and be more fun.

[Pan]

Its possible for "its important to me" to become a hijack mechanism basically a player version of "GM who just wants to tell their story". However, I agree communicating what a player enjoys is generally a good thing.

[Crag_Irons]

The storytelling part of the game has caused a lot of arguments over the years that I have heard about from others. I have never experienced it myself.

In the end this comes down to the GM. Some can go with it, some can not. Some GMs have trolls in their groups, and they have learned to coat everything in acid to control the troll. For that GM control is hard to release.

[Bjørn Røyrvik]

This isn't any different than a group discussing things they disagree about without using those particular words, essentially. Like Crag said, for some groups discussing things will work, for some it won't.