So we all are pretty new to the game, and I'm quite honest about how bad I am as a new DM. I do the best I can do with what I know. This is the result. We haven't played in a couple month for various reasons, and to reintroduce them to play before throwing them back into Rappan Athuk. This campaign is pretty off the cuff so they can try different things. I have minor plans and will let them run into them. This was the second portion I've placed on facebook, word for word. Without further preface but here you go.
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As the heroes all have finished with their questions, Zeus’ fingers snap, and they find themselves on a beach. Several miles north over a low forest tall city walls can be seen. Closer than that, between the trees, one can make out a road.
Matt, playing Orcy, is the first to take action, “ORCY! ORCY! ORCY!” The cries disturb the resting birds, and they fly away over the tree tops. However, none of the party take notice more focused on the half-orc in the room, as it were, who has started walking purposefully at the end of the city that has smoke billowing up from it.
Most everybody quickly decides to follow after Archer-knockoff Sterling Mallory, Voiced and acted out by Kermit, suggests that they could be having a BBQ and loudly desires Lemonade. As everyone trudges after Orcy, Sterling the archer puts away the bow, and being so upset at the lack of arrows supplied by Zeus or Poseidon mutters under his breath how ‘stupid these gods are for failing to equip anyone’.
After a mile or two the party starts noticing bodies and shattered weaponry. As the group continues the half jog half walk everyone adopted, they loot the occasional body of anything useful. Mallory attempts to pull a javelin out of one Northman and falls to the ground banging his head and leaving him dazed. After Sarah fails and gives up Zanza, played by Travis, walks up… and pulls it out with so much force he accidently throws it into part of Mallory’s foot. James’ character, Styrxx, continues to goose step ‘through the tulips’ after Orcy both chanting loudly, “ORCY! ORCY! ORCY!” Though he does stop long enough to grab a sword of a Northman that had runes that Zanza translated: U L F B E R H T.
As the heroes approach to within a mile they feel what could be an earthquake and see a dorsal fin rise till it towers over the top of the wall. The fin seems to move quickly west then disappears behind the trees on the left side of the road. “HOLY JIMMIES!” Shouts an unknown Archer Knockoff. Oh wait… no that was Styrxx.
“They have… land… sharks?” speaks the confused Barbarian.
Break into a run everyone eventually bursts out of the forest and into a short plain leading to the walls of the once crown jewel of the empire, Atlantis. However, it can definitely be said that it has seen better days. Huts littering the plain outside the walls. Most either smoldering from fire or laying crushed and covered with an unknown slime. Oh wait… scratch the unknown part, it probably came from the giant slug over there. While the slug is just starting to try and climb up and over a hut North raiders and unarmored warriors seem to flood around it pushing towards the gate.
“Tsunade?’ Hamarnel and Styrxx ask quizzically.
In their ears a voice, Zeus, speaks, “I summon Bulette in attack position!”
Poseidon’s voice is heard next, “Well don’t stand around gibbering get in there and kill that slug.”
Everyone starts to run towards the slug while strategizing on how to harm it. Orcy starts to notice that by the back of the slug a hill seems to shift oddly. After a shout of warning about the hill, dark and graceful beings step out from behind some of the smoldering huts. Three in total, hopping from foot-to-foot they seem to be enemies. They notice the shoddy equipment you all possess and start to laugh. Hamarnel recognizes the occasional as a bastardized form of elvish. “---Death--- heroes--- false gods --- usurpers!” Hearing nothing positive Herm sets their long spear and readies to be attacked.
“ORCY! ORCY! ORCY!” Orcy shouts as everyone clashes into these dark beings. the creature who looks to be in charge draws first blood against the barbarian only to receive a similar scar. Despite this Zanza decides to temper his rage and drops one of his looted Katana to wield two handed. Hamarnel is able to scratch the warrior that charges at him (it? Her? What would the pronoun for a hermaphroditic wood nymph be?), and yet this scratch is nothing compared to the beating imparted onto him by the dark fighter. In response Styrxx and Orcy run up to help him.
The leader swipes at Styrxx who stands barely within his range and doesn’t see the strike coming leaving a large wound across his unarmored back. The final creature moves to engage both the Barbarian and Styrxx who decide to try and keep this hapless warrior from the fight. Despite taking a hefty blow to his plated arm and a swipe across his thigh this third warrior enters the fray taking a chunk out of Styrxx’s right ear instead of his intended decapitation.
Sterling having no arrows and only a javelin in his custody tries to aid everyone by chucking it with his eyes closed praying to Apollo. Everyone pauses as they hear a great amount of air being displaced by a fast object. WHIFF! The projectile implanted into the ground less than five feet away. He quickly picks it up but at this point the battlefield had grown to confused to try again.
The Barbarian, in an attempt to be the ancient model of a certain green avenger, and rages and takes apart the leaders shield and greatly damages her helm causing her quickly duck and in a motion so unexpectedly fast she slices the chin strap and fling her head up. The helm goes ballistic at the barbarian and he dodges out of the way. In that moment Hamarnel and Styrxx finish making a pin cushion look like a comfortable career for the second creature. He gurgles and collapses to the ground trying to hold to the spear stuck into his chest.
Orcy launches himself over the corpse to get at the latest dark warrior and misses his first swing. Styrxx is able to block the counter attack the rapier user attempted to eviscerate him with. “Retreat!” Hamarnel is able to recognize the hissed command of the leader. Quickly he lets Zanza know the plan. Everyone attempts to take out those fleeing. Only striking down the last warrior. The leader bounding away despite taking another strike to her left hip.
Taking only a few moments to loot these warriors of armor and odds and ends our resolute troopers rush towards the battling slug and what must be the bulette Zeus mentioned. As they draw within striking range, the realization, nay, the horror that it wasn’t a hill dawns on everyone. Instead a mass of roots or possibly vines seems to be protecting the back of the slug. The warriors spied earlier running past this fight either stand at the gates fighting the Atlantis elite warriors or lie on the field having been crushed by the bulette during its fight.
Kermit decides to give this fight his all and charges at the foolish hill blocking his path. Cocking back the javelin he lets it fly… and the vines open up allowing it to pass harmlessly through it. He quickly screeches to a stop doing a double take. “Well… that’s not fair… You guys got this.” As Hamarnel, Styrxx, Zanza, and Orcy run past him as a four-person tide of armored carnage makers set to crash against this giant Pokémon reject.
Styrxx proves to be the fastest leaving the others far behind. As he pulls close enough to engage his North short sword seems to glint a little brighter. The creature draws back seemingly on itself as he lands two fast blows against it. It seems very confused and unsure until his next two strikes, mightier than the first set, cause enough damage for it to fold into itself. As the rest arrive to help he picks up a glowing seed. When ask what he did, “Made it wish to face Godzilla again.”
Mallory runs past having pulled two bolts, looted from a dark warrior’s cold dead corpse, he takes a running leap up and at the slug in the direction of the javelin. Succeeding in keeping himself attached to this creature, despite the breath being knocked from his lungs, he attempts to climb as fast as he can to the javelin. Everyone decides to rush after him and join in attacking the creature. Zanza’s first strike glances off the tough hide. After Hamarnel thrusts a long spear deep into the creature, Zanza gets an evil gleam in his eye. “STABBY TIME!”
Again as Styrxx slashes at the slug with the runic blade something seems odd. The creatures flesh seems to part rather easily for this blade. As if it were nothing but a warm knife passing through butter. As Sterling attempts to get to the embedded projectile the Bulette attacks the slug pushing it back a good 15-20 feet. Styrxx is the only one to suffer from this as he was unable to escape in time and thus quickly buried. The slug raises up and spit a green slime into the creature’s eyes before turning to view what is attacking its rear. This movement allows Styrxx to roll out from beneath it. The archer decides to climb on top of the javelin then uses it as a spring board. Allowing him to get closer to the slug’s head. It lowers itself around and starts to turn around.
Mallory runs forward and grabs and eyestalk and attempts to handle this animal so it will listen and obey. As the creature starts to listen an unknown person appeared next to Sterling. He wore Golden armor composed of interlocking bands, with a proudly formed Beard. With no weapon in sight Mallory swings at him with a bolt. The man ducks under and then kicks him in the gut sending him toppling off the creature. As he falls he sees the Bulette stumbling around trying to shake the green liquid from its eyes and head.
While Mallory rolls to get away from the slug, lest he get stuck underneath it. The rest give one more round of blows upon it’s back and side. The final blow, landed by Hamarnel, plunged deep into its side. The slug releases a mournful cry before seeming to implode upon the spear lodged into it. As it does the javelin falls as if the mass that had surrounded it had become nothing but a gelatinous ooze. Once compressed enough the heroes realize it’s going into the spear.
Poseidon speak ups, “Take care of the gift. We were able to seal its power away to give you some help, and to prevent Odin from simply awakening it again.”
From the walls shouts and cheers rise up. None of the attacking Northmen seem to be alive to cause further damage. The heroes defeating the slug and mound of vines have set the city back on the path to hope. As they again begin their trudge feeling the renewed strength in their limbs they end up hoping that maybe they will make it to paradise. That they too may accomplish this huge task that lies before them. Even hope that they can really keep things under control.
---------------Time Skip 2 weeks------------------
After several weeks of fortifying and supplying they get their first mission. It was one of the lords of Atlantis that visited with the request. “I have here a map.” The man quickly laid it across the heroes table. “We have news on several allies and enemies, and we will keep an ear and eye out for more. These Aesir seem to be harrying us every few weeks with minor raiding parties. This is as they land more troops on the northern part of the island. Our oracles give us one year till the bulk of their forces arrive. If we can gather enough allies and bleed them of their better siege creatures that lead these raids, then the fall of our great city should be prevented.”
Thunk! A knife now sprouts from the center of a target placed against a wall. Sterling was playing with another as he spoke up. “Well what have you heard about then man. I’m not going to get my edge back with nothing challenging to do.”
“Yes, surprisingly I have not been able to work all the kinks out of my body yet either. But at least I am practicing with my old drills.” Stated Styrxx.
The lord of the west gate sector interrupts the group before they can complain of the lack of work. “We found information on the next creature to lead their forces. The Aesir are trying to convince local creatures that we have been either fighting or ignoring for years. We found out that they have convinced the local cloud giantess to join them. She will be a great challenge but she is the last known of her kind. If you all work together, you should be able to kill her. We don’t even expect casualties.”
“I will challenge and beat her solo.” Stated the barbarian who sat in a corner lovingly sharpening the great sword he received during their time here.
“Can you speak giant?”
“I speak pain.” He said hefting the large sword with one hand and pointing it at the man.
“Orcy likes this plan and will translate for you.” Says the Half-orc who is napping against a pillar.
“I guess the rest will follow to ensure she dies?”
“Why?” Styrxx sits by the entryway using the polished head of his halberd to shine light into Sterling’s eyes. “You have more for us to do than just off a giantess?”
The man steps in between sterling and Styrxx before a knife can head that direction. “Yes. There are some dwarves in the north western part of our island past the peaks of Poseidon. They craft many mystical arms and armors. We have traded with them before. If you could convince them to arm us it might be something to rejoice over in the final battle. There is also a Rakshasa in the north east. These creatures normally stand aloof from politics but we worry what the enemy may offer this one to stand with them.”
Sterling taps him on the shoulder, “What the… What is a Rakshasa?”
“A tiger like person.”
“Can I have sex with it?” Everyone groans.
“I don’t care how you convince them to join us or abstain from the fight. But please don’t drive them to hate us.”
“Me and my pet Boo-lotte will get her.” Sterling almost runs from the room after getting directions.
“There is also an… odd… Well a hermit Cyclops in the south west. We’d like to have you seek its alliance or to make sure it can’t be subjugated by the Northmen and their gods.”
Styrxx speaks to Hamarnel quietly and eventually they decide. “We’ll go after the cyclops. Could we have a pennant of Poseidon.”
The party quickly departs on their long journeys everyone expecting trouble that they may not overcome.
----Sterling Mallory and Boo-lotte----
“Ok, boy.” Sterling begins to relate his plan to his pet. “I want you to follow me in this direction after 3 days. I’ll try and run there as fast as I can. By that time, I will be half way and you should be able to distract any Norse that stand in my way. I can make it without worrying about the people in my way. You should arrive when I’m done, and then you’ll take me and my new boo home.”
The creature nods and then curls up by the side of the Path. Without even a backwards glance Sterling runs off not waiting for anything else. After spending the next 3 days walking, running, and with an occasional swim to cross deep streams he comes across a patrol of orc warriors. Their shields bear the symbol of Odin. He had seen on the backs of some of the Northmen at the gates his first day, and he wonders how he’ll get by them. ‘I’m wearing only leather armor… that doesn’t scream Atlantean. And I have this scarf. I’ll wrap it around my head and act mute. For good measure I will make the same symbol on my cuirass.’
He proceeds to walk out of the brush and towards the camp. One of the three orcs is walking around the camp perimeter and calls out in some kind of flippant greeting. He continues to walk into and through the camp. Another orc calls out and gestures with the skewer in his hand. ‘I’ll just act stupid.’ He attempts to dance badly through the camp, and then grabs simple things to stare at as if deciphering their purpose. Now the second orc looks confused. The third noticing the behavior at last seems to ask him something. Sterling approaches him cautiously. He uses the hidden dagger in his sleeve to slash his throat after understanding one word he’d hope to avoid. “Hoo-man?”
Without pausing he turns and throws the dagger at the second orc who sits stunned. At this point the first body fell to the ground causing the Guard to turn and take in the scene. Startled he takes a step back only to get shot by an arrow launched by the disguised hero.
“Well. That went ok.” He checks the camp for anything of use and decides to move on without taking any of the ‘Junk’. Over the course of the next two days a rumbling south of himself seems to get louder. Finally, on the sixth day of his march he arrives at a minute hut. It had a hole in the roof the belched smoke. Deciding to see how his luck goes he picks some local flowers and knocks on the door. He hears movement from the far side and decides to shout, “Could you open the door I wish to have se---”
“Human. Of course.” Mocks the deep and rumbling voice. Much akin to stones grating against one another to form words. “Only I don’t think you are one of these… Norsemen.” The door opens to reveal a Tiger being with large canines… or are they Felines? Either way they are quite visible as it seems to grin at this phrase for the invaders. “What would you like from a humble thinker and drinker such as myself.” Sterling notices a glass goblet of what looks to be wine in this tiger’s paw-like hand.
“Two things honestly. First I heard of your ravishing beauty and desired that I should visit you to see for myself. The rumors do thee no justice. These flower pale in comparison to you.” Sterling attempts to hand them over only to have the rakshasa bat them away and out of his hand. “Ah, such is the feeling of my heart. Swept away by the winds of love.”
“I’m not a woman.”
“That’s ok I just want to say I’ve had sex with a tiger.”
“I’m not male either. I have none of that tripe you humans find important and I don’t want anything to do with your tackle that is flip flopping about.”
The very discouraged Mallory just sighs and starts over. “Well... That brings me to my second reason. We would like you to help Atlantis in this war.”
“And what would I get out of this? These Norsemen have not pleased me, but I don’t feel inclined to help you either.”
After much debating the tiger agrees to come to Atlantis to help as long as the gods owe him a favor, and he partners with this most amusing hero in combat. “I will follow after you in a few days. You better get on your partner that is getting closer and get going.”
I never wrote up the part where Zanza gets into a damage contest against the giantess. The one who causes the most damage owns the other... he married her. The other two found out the cyclops was an immortal bibliophile... it was funny to watch them try and find weird ways to do this. Any comments or advice. This has been funny and odd. Even more than the other campaign we've been playing.