If a choose to do non-lethal damage with a natural attack (hair) do I take a penalty?
Is there a feat that allows me to avoid taking a penalty?
Yes.
Stage Combatant form Ultimate Combat.
Also possibly
Merciful Bane if you have the bane class feature
Bludgeoner if using a bludgeoning weapon
Bludgeoner is perfect for when monsters have cold resistance vs my frostbite. I can still get a free intimidate with the enforcer feat!
Cheers!