Hi there Elderbean,
1) The rules about basic actions (full-round, standard, movement, swift, etc.), skills and magic. You don't need to know all the feats or spells for instance, you can afford to discover them on a need-to-know basis (same as your players).
2) From your expectations, I would look towards the Beginner Box, which is essentially "Pathfinder Lite" for all intents and purposes. As far as I can remember, the non-essential rules would at least include combat maneuvers and attacks of opportunity.
3) Combat rythm is kept with useful tools such as an initiative tracker, kept in everbody's view so that every player (and the DM) knows when they act. Having relevant books ready also helps, as does asking players to think about their next action ahead of time (as opposed to start thinking when it's their turn to act). Oh, and stand up during fights.
4) A good DM is one that talks to his players, sometimes give them advice (when dealing with new players), is fair (listens to his players' argument and reads the rules before making a decision) and keeps the game alive.
5) It varies strongly from one table to another. My players have various tastes, so I adapt to what they expect me to deliver. As always, a good balance is important. When in doubt, talk to your players about their expectations.
6) A session during which your players had fun is a successful session to me.
7) I'm not sure what you mean. Could you specify, please?
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For a new DM, ask players to keep a "cheat sheet" or note card so you don't have to memorize every character ability. If they think they'll grapple a lot, ask them to have the grapple rules ready so you don't have to stop the game and look them up. On your end, get a rough idea of Difficulty Checks for skills players might use as even in pre-fab modules, not everything can be covered.
At low levels in combat, everyone just needs to be ready to go. No pontificating actions, and you can reasonably limit a turn, delaying them to the end of the round if no one can decide. Same goes for the DM, don't dawdle and know your monster abilities, like how "Grab" works.
3 DM don'ts: (1) don't make up or alter a rule before notifying your players, (2) don't push players to make the story come out how you'd like it to be, and (3) don't hold up the game.
I try to keep roleplay and combat at 50/50. A successful session is one where everyone leaves with a smile and will be talking about it later.
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Back of his hand: Basic combat adjudication, character creation, and encounter design (CRs, etc). Also know your book's layout front to back and be ready to look things up very quickly. Don't sweat the details. If your players seem confident, trust them and look it up after the session. Only if you're stalled should you spend more than 90 seconds trying to find a rule.
Non-essential: Almost all of the specific details of the rules and almost all of the expanded content. Don't, for example, try to memorize the spell lists. Also, being newn refuse any source outside of the CRB. Go with something similar to "I am trying to really learn the core rules first."
Keep combat moving: Keep it simple, like stupid easy. You can spice it up as you go. All manner of table advice is good here, too, like rolling hit and damage dice at the same time, etc. You may be familiar with that stuff already. Let us know if not...
DM peeves: Don't argue. PF tends to attrack more of the 'cult of RAW' than other rule sets. And if that's your thing, go for it, but the table isn't right venue for a debate. Rule, go, circle back later.
Split roleplay, exploration, and combat: IME, in PF, 25/60/15% But I typically run either modules or dungeon crawls.
Successful session: Everyone had a good time, and at least one goal was accomplished.
Balance: (Difficulty) CR plus or minus two. The Advanced template is handy if things seem too easy. (Class) I don't.
Many questions answered with one reply:
As a new GM, start at 1st level and use only the Core Rulebook. Leave all the other books out for now, they are not needed. And unless you have players who already know the game inside out, balance won't really be much of an issue.
Things only start to go really crazy when you get to the higher levels and players are explicitly trying to find exploits in the rules they can make use of.
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I'm actually rather sorry I opened that particular spoiler, but the "don't trap your players" advice is pretty solid. Modern games condition players to interact with absolutely everything. As in 'if it moves, kill it' and 'every problem looks like a nail'. Any way, years back it was a common trope, but these days it is extremely gauche.
Take this as a personal set of recommendations, rather than an actual guide:
-What does a fledgling Pathfinder DM need to know like the back of his hand, rule wise?
-The fundamentals on how experience and levels work, what are ability scores and their respective modifiers, when do characters get feats, etc.
-How skills work, though not necessarily the exact DCs for each single use, just a proper understanding of what each skill does and a general measure of the appropriate DCs.
-Class mechanics (at least of the classes that your players use), such as a cleric's capacity to spontaneously cast Cure spells and a druid's animal companion.
-Combat rules, such as how to move during a battle, what is an Attack of Opportunity, when to use full AC/Touch Armour/Flat-Footedness, etc.
-The baselines magic mechanics, such as how are spells prepared, what are Save DCs, the differences bewteen a burst and an emmanation, etc.
-Basic monster rules, like which monster types are immune to certain effects, how to determine average HPs, how do creatures with multiple limbs attack, etc.
-What rules do you consider non-essential?
-Anything that is circumstantial enough that you won't be using every session, such as weather conditions, diseases, counterspelling, etc.
-Things that usually happen on downtime, giving you the option to consult the manuals without breaking the pace, such as crafting or multiclassing.
-Anything that you have to do prior to a session, such as monster advancement rules, treasure generation, etc. No need to know these things by heart if you can simply crack open the book without causing any interference.
-How do you keep combat moving?
This is always a pesky matter, and something that I think will come more from experience than anything we can tell you here. That said, some basic tips I've learned over the years.
First, there are some style things you can use:
-Ask players to think their actions beforehand and force them to declare what they do quickly. Analysis paralysis can destroy a proper combat, so if anyone is taking more than 5-10 seconds to say what they'll do, start telling them they'll lose their turns/get pushed down the iniciative order. Be lenient with new players, of course, and slowly ramp it up as you see everyone get more comfortable with the system. This is particularly important with big groups.
-Be histrionic, not just because it gives a good dramatic feeling to what ought to be a heart-pounding part of the session, but because it will stick to the players and help everything move faster and feel more franctic. If context allows, a bit of shouting is always useful. Stand from your chair, gesticulate madly, point at players yelling "SIR FREDERICK, THE ORCS CHARGE YOUR WAY. WHAT WILL YOU DO!". If you just sit behind the DM screen and calmly explain the situation, players will gravitate toward the same attitude (which might be fine for other situations, but mosts combats should feel like a Nolan movie).
-Background music really, really helps. Just like in supermarkets you'll see they put slow music when there are few customers (to make them move slower and increase the chances of impulsive purchases) and fast music when there are lots (to make them move faster), appropriate music will greatly assist the speed at which combats happen. Epic-sounding or fast-rythm BGMs will cause players to hyperventilate a bit and push them toward quicker action.
-Avoid too many combats in a row. Players will get exhausted and performance will drop.
Then there are some technical optimization tips:
-If you have lots of enemies, try to group them up in order to reduce the number of rolls. Rather than rolling iniciative for 15 different goblins, just make 3 groups of 5 and roll them together.
-If you have a big party, try to ask players to avoid the use of pet-controlling or summoning-based classes. Though this consession will leave some character concepts out, having a party of 7 where 3 of them have companions and one summons 1d4 dogs can really disrupt combat.
-That said, if you do have pet/summon types, have their companions act in the same iniciative round as their controllers so save on tracking.
-What major pet peeves do you have about DMs?
Well, for the past 16 years I've been DMing almost exclusively, so all I have are praises and congratulations for the fine gentleman trade that is DMing.
More seriously, I think some of the biggest pitfals a DM needs to avoid are:
-Zealous storytelling. Don't treat your players like your audience; they are here to help you build a great story, not just hear it. Excessive use of DMPCs, too much railroading, or constantly telling players what their characters do is a recipe for disaster.
-Competitive DMing. There is always a good measure of flexibility in the scale of "Masterminator/Mastermother", from those who run meatmincers that kill PCs like it's going out of fashion to those who go out their way to avoid anyone from getting a scratch. However, what a DM always needs to avoid is getting to a point where the game becomes a competition between him and the players. When challenges become personal, you've stepped into dangerous territory.
-Being excessively permissive. I've always thought that a good DM is the one who knows when to say "No". There are some schools of thought that insist on DMs never saying no and instead saying "Yes, but...", but I personally believe we need to make our limits clear in order to properly perform our task. Some PC concepts break your story, some splatbooks bring in rules that you don't feel comfortable with. Be open to your players about what you want and can do from early on, and don't be afraid to draw a line. Just make sure that they know it beforehand, and always give yourself time to explain why.
-How much time in generally split between roleplay, exploration, and combat?
I don't think there is a universal rule on this one, as every group will have a different set of preferences. That said, a good rule of the thumb is to have equal amounts of each.
Now, it is always important to understand the metagame context in which they happen. For instance, I always try to avoid slow investigative moments at the end of a session, because at that point the players are usually tired and too much calm might get them sleepy. On the other hand, large groups might suffer from having too many combats as players will feel their "alloted time" to be too little.
My personal ideal structure, which I don't always get to pull off but I try, is:
1.- Start with a bang (a combat; a chase; a temple crumbling down on their heads).
2.- Follow it with some exploration/investigation (check where the attackers came from; do some research on the man they lost during the chase; inspect the remains of the temple).
3.- Context depending, add in some social interaction instances (report to the local authorities about the attackers; find the man and confront him with questions; face the inquiries of the ancient guardian ghosts of the temple)
4.- End with a bang and a cliffhanger (the guardhouse gets stormed by the attacker's associates and the session ends just when the big bad guy is going to be revealed, the same I'll use to start the next session with a combat; the man gets murdered by someone covering his tracks and the party has to go after him, ending it midways through the chase in order to start with that next time; tomb-robbers find the party and rile up the temple's guardian ghost, which brings down the remainder of the structure, ending there in order to start next session with everyone scrambling from the site).
-What do you consider a successful session?
One which ends with the players saying "Wow". If there is no reaction from the players at the end, I take it that the session failed to impress. Also, the more after-session questions I get, the more confident I am in that the session was properly enjoyed.
-How do you handle balance?
Hm, I'm not sure I follow. What do you mean by handling balance?
I posted here earlier expressing my interest in Pathfinder despite the fact that I tend to run rules-lite games. I just had some more questions. If you guys wouldn’t mind answering some of them that’d be swell.
-What does a fledgling Pathfinder DM need to know like the back of his hand, rule wise?
Read the combat section. Several times. Seriously this is much harder on a DM then a player. A player can have 10-30 minutes to sort out how he is doing things. A DM has to handle those rules quicker then players as he not only likely has several monsters or npcs to handle in a turn, but also must be paying attention to each players actions and doesnt have the same time to plan their moves.
As a dm its really important to know the combat especially those that directly pertain to your monsters/npcs in an encounter. You absolutely must know what everything on the statblock of the monsters you plan to use means. Obviously sometimes you will use an npc or monster you werent expecting in a given session, but when you plan encounters, know each and every thing on the stat blocks. Nothing bogs a game down moor then the dm having to look up something for an npc or monster.
In particular if you have a spell caster in the encounter, print out or write out spell cards for quick referencing. the webside thegm.org has a great spellcard generator for this to make the job easier (great for player spellcasters also).
-What rules do you consider non-essential?
Hard to say I think. A lot of times there is a ripple effect when you cut out rules. One of the first to be cut is attacks of opportunity. The begginer box does that, in fact, one of the places you might want to start is with the begginer rules. These are the rules as simple as the devs thought they could make it while retaining the basic structure of the game.
-How do you keep combat moving?
In my game, all players must immediately on their turn say what they are doing. "I move to that orc and attack him", or "i cast fireball here", "I draw a potion and drink it" etc. It will take more time then that to resolve the action. But they have to decide what to do immediately. No looking up spells or flipping through character stats. They should have that handy when their turn comes up (a clearly visible initiative tracker like a white board can help with this). If they havent chosen what they wnat to do, they delay.
-What major pet peeves do you have about DMs?
My bigest pet peeve? Removal of player agency. I need to feel as a player that what I do matters. If all I am doing is following the adventure 'script' and I cant divert the course of events, I feel like I am just acting in a play, not roleplaying in a game.
-How much time in generally split between roleplay, exploration, and combat?
Again hard to say. I think its pretty close to even now adays in my group but it will vary session to session. If we are in the middle of a deadly laberinth with enemies everywhere, there might be alot more combat and alot less roleplay that session. If we are heading into a royal ball where we need to seek out the traitor among the ranks of the nobility, I expect there would be more roleplaying to be had then combat. It all depends on the story that develops as we play. In general I'd say dont worry about amounts as long as over the course of several sessions both get a solid share of the time, and ofcourse everyone is having fun.
-What do you consider a successful session?
When 3 I am still talking about the events of that station, weeks, months, maybe even years later with my friends with whom I game. But mostly, when everyone leaves having had fun.
-How do you handle balance?
Experience mostly. I think at this point I have a pretty good idea what is or isnt balanced, and I require line item approval of all material outside the core rules (with some exceptions). That and I will from time to time take stock of characters and their options and if needed talk to the player about a correction. In the end each party is different in my group, and it largely depends on the characters if there is a balance issue. Because even if something is balanced against the rules as a whole, it might not be balanced against the rest of the characters in the group, or the enemies the adventure intends.