Alright, so I love my GM he's always crafted and woven together some of the greatest campaigns I've ever heard of and had the pleasure of playing in. Currently myself along with 4 other players are in a campaign that has been going on for well over a year now, I'm very pleased with this. However, something just kinda dawned on me and that is that everything my heroic main star-ish of the campaign character has done has kinda always failed or been undone in some weird round about way and I'm kinda depressed over it. Let me explain.
So at the end of the firsts arc I my comrades and I kill this evil cleric who has done these awful things like releasing an awful demon upon the world, breaking a paladin of my characters faith's will, killing countless innocents and other players characters. Yet sometime during the second act he comes back by going through repentance and with the help of a deity is now a good guy. So I'm told by my GM that if my character attacks and kills him I'll get an alignment shift even though no matter how good he is now my character can't get past all of the evil he's committed and doesn't intend to forget it.
So my hated most hated enemy is brought back and I have to "like" him. Either way thats just an example, along with dying multiple times, having statistically the weakest character in the group with no defined role within said group and having his wife turned into a hideous monster that he now has to kill.
Its all just kind of depressing and currently my character along with everyone elses is dead through plot twists and can be brought back through plot twists, I'm just not sure if i can continue playing with this character anymore and I'm not sure how to talk to my GM about it. Any advice would be appreciated.
Thankyou
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Ask him if your character can just retire or go off on a journey or something, and if you can play a new character.
From everything you say, absolutely nothing about your character sounds "main character-ish" (and I'd argue it's better that way) and there's surely a way to work around him being gone.
Really, there's very little that can't be solved by just talking to your DM.
Seems like this would be a perfect opportunity to have your character leave the group due to irreconcilable differences with THE EVIL FECKING CLERIC.
Bah. It's a perfect place to do it, but even as someone not involved in the story it rankles me that that whole "well he apologized so all that evil s&*~ he did (including turning your wife into a hideous monster that you have to kill) is gooooooone" clause is in play in this story.
Hell, if you wanted to I think you'd be perfectly justified in taking the alignment hit and killing the smug bastard before you leave.
You should keep playing the character. Bearing such resentments and anger can be a very powerful thing to build a character on. It gives him a "past" and helps define him. The moral quandry of staying your hand against vengeance could also lead to a kind of enlightenment further down the road, and opportunities to roleplay it.
To put it more simply, as long as it's PLAUSIBLE, it makes for an interesting character. GM's sometimes struggle with ways to create a dynamic within the party, rather than everyone being at total peace with being wandering killing machines. Heroes are often unbalanced, confused, reluctant, misguided, etc. This is the stuff that epic tales are made from.
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Hmmm,I dunno what class your character is, but:
For example, I played a paladin back in 1e.. There were REALLY hard to qualify for, so they were rare, and Cha was my highest stat JUST so I could play one. IIRC I only had a 14 str and back then that gave you no combat bonuses.
But my DM kept putting me in these situations where I was doomed to fall. The kind of things where it was like SAVE the children OR Slay the Mind Controlled person who was going to murder more children....weird stuff like that.
So I was like 8th level (which was REALLY a high level back in 1e) and I just said screw it. I took a different path, Oh your a fighter now, muahahaha, so be it. I'm a Lawful Neutral Fighter, NOW you have to beg for mercy and go through repentance and all that.... huh, nah sorry not interested.
I can amass more weatlh now that I'm not a Paladin, stupid restrictions, Time to take over greyhawk, were is that army exactly, oh ill just raise my own. tralala.
The whole time I played him as a fighter I still carried around my +5 holy avenger, even thought it was only a +2 longsword. Just kept playing him as a fighter....
Main idea here is, if the BBEG is now a goodie goodie? BAH HUMBUG sound like it's time to play a LAWFUL EVIL Character, Vengence is MINE, I can't let you get away with your past behavior!!!
Snake into his abode and STRANGLE him, but like don't let your GM or any other players know you are going to do it. Just DO it! Like you went off on a bender!
Maybe even take some levels of Inquisitor and go off on a rampage of righting all the wrong, Asmodeus my lord I beseech thee, help me cleanse my past of all this falsehood!
Then I would let my wife STAY a hideous monster (unless you could find a way to change her back) If anyone attacks her or anything, HELP her (even if it's secretly through healing)
Your personal code of ethics, of can't slay my wife even if she's a monster, and can't let that past bad guy get away with that shizz nit, SCREAMS Lawful EVIL , own it dude! Golarion just found it's newest dark avenger!
Edit: in fact, take some steps to get enough levels of red mantis assassin, so once you kill that cleric once and for all, you KNOW if he ever comes back again!
Excuse me sir, why are you a RM? "one personal vendetta, JUST one"