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And as a special bonus The Eye of Argon Lost Ending
Isn't this the story that turned "breast" into an adverb?
I don't know. I've never been able to get that far into it. Here's a line from the "lost ending".
"The thing was gone forever. All that remained was a dark red blotch upon the face of the earth, blotching things up."
Yup, them dark red blotches always blotch things up REAL GOOD!
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"his robust hair"
"the harlot of his choice"
"her blue ovals" - referring to someone's eyes...
As someone wrote... he has the uncanny ability to use exactly the wrong word in each situation, and then misapplying it.
I understand why it's typically used as a "do not laugh" challenge.
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Wholly crappe! A moast distressingly indescribable. Pulsating with fear my lurid baubles redacted from the fervid scene. Streaking my vessel ereward I momentously lost control of bearing, directing yon limber to dissect the vellum before me. Gringnr, mrift how thou dost tremble mine orbs! Avaunt and divest each of verb and acuity! Rumble onward to the verbiage of fateless rime, and durst pierce the prevalence of my slooshing fears...
"his robust hair"
"the harlot of his choice"
"her blue ovals" - referring to someone's eyes...
As someone wrote... he has the uncanny ability to use exactly the wrong word in each situation, and then misapplying it.
I understand why it's typically used as a "do not laugh" challenge.
A friend of mine does this very thing when he DMs. We all just sit and stare at him, trying to figure out what he means and not laugh in his face at the same time.
I did manage to read the whole thing last night, cringing with every word. And "bustily" is now my favorite adverb.
"his robust hair"
"the harlot of his choice"
"her blue ovals" - referring to someone's eyes...
As someone wrote... he has the uncanny ability to use exactly the wrong word in each situation, and then misapplying it.
I understand why it's typically used as a "do not laugh" challenge.
Wholly crappe! A moast distressingly indescribable. Pulsating with fear my lurid baubles redacted from the fervid scene. Streaking my vessel ereward I momentously lost control of bearing, directing yon limber to dissect the vellum before me. Gringnr, mrift how thou dost tremble mine orbs! Avaunt and divest each of verb and acuity! Rumble onward to the verbiage of fateless rime, and durst pierce the prevalence of my slooshing fears...
I think I know a player on my NWN server who might read these books, judging by the overly-flowery text she uses while doing her mile-long emotes....
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At school, we put it to interpretive dance. People were too good at reading through it without errors.
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Good lord, I thought someone was linking to stuff I had written.
Thank god that wasn't the case.
One of my oldest and dearest friends (and I hate to say this about him) has self published three fantasy novels and a short story collection that he thinks are the greatest things ever put on a page and I just don't have the heart to tell him how bad they really are. This story just kept reminding me of them.
I doubt it's worst than most fanfic.And as a special bonus The Eye of Argon Lost Ending
I've never read any fanfic for that reason. And I've made it personal goal to NEVER read any slash/fic.
Still better than Bodyguard of Lightning.
Still better than Bodyguard of Lightning.
Is there a link to that somewhere?
Thankyou a thousand times for bringing this to my attention, and I am entirely serious. Really. I mean, loincloths brandishing broadswords and harlots with opaque noses (damn those transparent-nosed harlots!) - what's not to like? :)
Ah, right. I got to the opaque nose this time before I couldn't take it anymore. The magnificent thing is: The "harlot of his choice" has "stringy hair" and an "opaque nose".
I REALLY don't want to know what the others looked like...
By Shelyn, that was terrible! I only got about three paragraphs in.
By the thread title, I thought this was going to be a "vote for" thread, and I was all set to nominate Slave Girl of Gor.
I REALLY don't want to know what the others looked like...