What happens to a staked vampire if you cut off its head, put it in a bag, then remove the stake?

[Reis]

I DM a City of the Spider Queen conversion game and I'm seeking some help making a ruling about this. Here is what the SRD says:

Quote:

Reducing a vampire's hit points to 0 or lower incapacitates it but doesn't always destroy it (see fast healing). However, certain attacks can slay vampires. Exposing any vampire to direct sunlight staggers it on the first round of exposure and destroys it utterly on the second consecutive round of exposure if it does not escape. Each round of immersion in running water inflicts damage on a vampire equal to one-third of its maximum hit points—a vampire reduced to 0 hit points in this manner is destroyed. Driving a wooden stake through a helpless vampire's heart instantly slays it (this is a full-round action). However, it returns to life if the stake is removed, unless the head is also severed and anointed with holy water.

Quote:

Fast Healing (Ex)

A creature with fast healing regains hit points at an exceptional rate, usually 1 or more hit points per round, as given in the creature’s entry. Except where noted here, fast healing is just like natural healing. Fast healing does not restore hit points lost from starvation, thirst, or suffocation, nor does it allow a creature to regrow lost body parts. Unless otherwise stated, it does not allow lost body parts to be reattached. Fast healing continues to function (even at negative hit points) until a creature dies, at which point the effects of fast healing end immediately.

So if my players stake a helpless vampire then behead it but don't anoit the head with holy water or otherwise destroy it (with sunlight or running water), then later someone removes the stake, what happens?

[LazarX]

All parts turn gaseous, dissipate, and reform somewhere convenient for the vampire, inconvenient for you.

[Reis]

ah ok that makes sense, thanks

[Kthulhu]

He gets rather angry.

[Reis]

hey but what happens when the head and body reach the coffin? Fast healing states specifically "Unless otherwise stated, it does not allow lost body parts to be reattached".

[Bruno Kristensen]

You get a headless Vampire who walks around with his functioning head in hand, reciting Shakespeare, "Alas poor Yorrich..."

[blackbloodtroll]

Stick his head in a bag of holding, and slice it open. He will never unite with his head again without a wish or miracle spell.

[Reis]

I understand that, actually it's much simpler to simply expose the head to running water or sunlight or move it more than 9 miles away. But what happens if the head and body are reunited? What Bruno suggested would be pretty amusing but is that actually RAW?

[golem101]

The gaseous head and the gaseous body merge together into a larger, formless gaseous form; afterwards, the body reforms complete, without severed appendages.

It's a kind of magic.

[blackbloodtroll]

golem101 wrote:

The gaseous head and the gaseous body merge together into a larger, formless gaseous form; afterwards, the body reforms complete, without severed appendages.

It's a kind of magic.

I fricking love Queen!