Believe me, I am a red-blooded Yank. But if I could somehow go back, I would not hesitate to do whatever I could to prevent the Puritans from setting events in motionThe urge of the Puritans and Pilgrims to form a better or even separate Church laid the foundation for the colonization and eventual breakaway of the States. All the Enlightenment values that we associate with the Revolution more or less jumped on board a religious and economic train.
Ennnh, no, not really. There were already colonies in the New World when the Puritans left the Old World. The Puritans get a lot of press because they "were persecuted! OMG! NO ONE UNDERSTANDS US!" (fun fact- "persecution" and "being brought up on charges for giving other sects a lot of grief" appear to be synonymous) and that's more fun to talk about than the mercantile enterprises that led to colonization in Virginia and the surrounding environs. The New England colonies were important, sure, but there were and had been for a very long time a lot of folks in the Virginia area going "You know, we really ought to do something about all this damned taxation and poor representation."
Important? Yes. Critical foundation? Nope.
That being said, being a proponent of fairness in media - Speedo Calendar, yes please. Let's get us a "Heavy Armored" Paladin up in this joint.
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Believe me, I am a red-blooded Yank. But if I could somehow go back, I would not hesitate to do whatever I could to prevent the Puritans from setting events in motionThe urge of the Puritans and Pilgrims to form a better or even separate Church laid the foundation for the colonization and eventual breakaway of the States. All the Enlightenment values that we associate with the Revolution more or less jumped on board a religious and economic train.
Ennnh, no, not really. There were already colonies in the New World when the Puritans left the Old World. The Puritans get a lot of press because they "were persecuted! OMG! NO ONE UNDERSTANDS US!" (fun fact- "persecution" and "being brought up on charges for giving other sects a lot of grief" appear to be synonymous) and that's more fun to talk about than the mercantile enterprises that led to colonization in Virginia and the surrounding environs. The New England colonies were important, sure, but there were and had been for a very long time a lot of folks in the Virginia area going "You know, we really ought to do something about all this damned taxation and poor representation."
Important? Yes. Critical foundation? Nope.
Well, I said "religious and economic" for a reason.
The Virginia colonies ended up being much more economically successful, because that was their primary purpose. Meanwhile, the New England colonies contributed much more to the character, mythology, and philosophy of the coming nation -- for good and bad -- because they were organized around ideals. Which is not to say that New England was devoid of economic purpose or Virginia completely devoid of strict COE members or even Puritans.
Living as we do now in a secular age we tend to look back at the Puritans as evil simpletons (and maybe they were in some ways, they gave the world Cromwell after all), but I think the trend against monarchy and toward representative democracy intertwine the forces of Puritanism and Enlightenment thinking in interesting ways.
And it's the Pilgrims that get all the press, not quite the Puritans, who were a broader movement.
** spoiler omitted **
My grandfather had older siblings born in Poland and grew up speaking Polish. Married a Polish girl. Lived his whole life in the Polish neighborhood, right next door to his father and just a block from where mine built a house. He was an endless source of Polish jokes. I grew up hearing the things constantly. There was apparently substantial anti-Polish sentiment when the family first came to town. The nicer version involved locals joining arms and rushing them right off the dock and into the lake.
Then years later I found out that most of them were not originally dumb Polish guy jokes but rather referred to a quite different segment of the American population. They were a lot less funny then.
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Of course, there is a lot to have fun about Poland and Poles. About stealing German cars, our wonderful economy, our devout Catholicism, our drinking habits, our long history of making stupid mistakes that end up with someone driving tanks in our backyards etc. etc.
However, despite our oft pig-headed religiousness, we don't go into panic mode when somebody puts nipples in print. We do go into panic mode when children bring firearms to schools. And our first question isn't "did daddy teach them not to point that gun at another person", our question is "holy JC, how did firearms end up in private hands?".
However, despite our oft pig-headed religiousness, we don't go into panic mode when somebody puts nipples in print. We do go into panic mode when children bring firearms to schools. And our first question isn't "did daddy teach them not to point that gun at another person", our question is "holy JC, how did firearms end up in private hands?".
I know I'm jealous.
Of course, there is a lot to have fun about Poland and Poles. About stealing German cars, our wonderful economy, our devout Catholicism, our drinking habits, our long history of making stupid mistakes that end up with someone driving tanks in our backyards etc. etc.
However, despite our oft pig-headed religiousness, we don't go into panic mode when somebody puts nipples in print. We do go into panic mode when children bring firearms to schools. And our first question isn't "did daddy teach them not to point that gun at another person", our question is "holy JC, how did firearms end up in private hands?".
So... do Swedes get any brownie-points for never having driven tanks through your backyards? Or is that ruined by the fact that the only reason for that is that they weren't invented by the 17th and 18th centuries?
(Also: I don't smoke. Stop offering me cheap ciggies!!) ;)
Nope, because they are an American company selling primarily on the American market.
And USA is a country where it's perfectly fine to teach your kids how to shoot to kill with an assault rifle, but showing them nipples is something that can uproar an entire nation.
Of course, we over here on the godless Old World have a ball laughing at that hypocrisy :)
Of course, not everybody here is happy about it, either. And not all of us are ignorant to the reasons for these quirks of the American conscience.
Believe me, I am a red-blooded Yank. But if I could somehow go back, I would not hesitate to do whatever I could to prevent the Puritans from setting events in motion that would eventually Ruin Every Good Thing There Ever Was with fist-pumping, flag-waving idiocy. Like, bring them a couple back issues of Hustler, or something. Or at least nip in the bud the idea that Thanksgiving is about anything but stuffing one's gullet and passing out before noon.
Alas, a working time machine, much like a solid gold toilet, is simply not on the immediate horizon for me.
The puritans don't seem so bad the way you describe them:
"...fist-pumping..." "...nip..." "...bud..."=)
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Of course, there is a lot to have fun about Poland and Poles. About stealing German cars, our wonderful economy, our devout Catholicism, our drinking habits, our long history of making stupid mistakes that end up with someone driving tanks in our backyards etc. etc.
However, despite our oft pig-headed religiousness, we don't go into panic mode when somebody puts nipples in print. We do go into panic mode when children bring firearms to schools. And our first question isn't "did daddy teach them not to point that gun at another person", our question is "holy JC, how did firearms end up in private hands?".
So... do Swedes get any brownie-points for never having driven tanks through your backyards? Or is that ruined by the fact that the only reason for that is that they weren't invented by the 17th and 18th centuries?
(Also: I don't smoke. Stop offering me cheap ciggies!!) ;)
Everything Sweden has ever done, good and bad, is overshadowed by IKEA. We love/hate you for that.
Urrah Polska..Winged hussars ftw
Funnily enough 16th-7th century Poland is what I'm basing Mivon in the River Kingdoms on.
(However, I must admit that ancestors of mine fought in the Swedish Army during the 30 years War)
Urrah Polska..Winged hussars ftw
Funnily enough 16th-7th century Poland is what I'm basing Mivon in the River Kingdoms on.
(However, I must admit that ancestors of mine fought in the Swedish Army during the 30 years War)
Yeah. After a bit there weren't that many Swedes of Finns in the "Swedish army" during that war. And from what I understand, there're more Hamiltons in Sweden than there are in Scotland these days.
I think you guys are seriously underestimating the economic importance of the New England colonies.
Remember your high school history and the Triangular Atlantic trade? Slaves - sugar - rum? That's New England, baby!
** spoiler omitted **
I assume you're talking about the tradition of anti-Polish jokes in America. If so, I think it has a lot to do with Polish immigrants being on the tail-end of the huge immigration wave from southern and eastern Europe in the early 20th century.
Yeah, (sometimes) we'll take your tired, your poor, etc., etc., but we'll also beat the snot out of them and mercilessly make fun of them until they start behaving like proper Americans.
I don't think Oliver Cromwell was an evil simpleton, although I admit he wasn't very nice to the Irish.
I suggest getting some Boris Vallejo art and making dustjackets. That should increase your T&A quotient.
I don't think Oliver Cromwell was an evil simpleton, although I admit he wasn't very nice to the Irish.
He's a major character in Twenty Years After. Dumas presents him as a butcher-shop employee who gets ideas above his station -- the musketeers say things like "Oh! Such a brute!" while twirling their mustaches and fixing the plumes in their foppish hats.
You should see what I put on my Bestiary.
Bestiarity?
Yeah, (sometimes) we'll take your tired, your poor, etc., etc., but we'll also beat the snot out of them and mercilessly make fun of them until they start behaving like proper Americans.
And we know when it's worked because they start beating the snot out of the next group of immigrants. This was being parodied at least as early as the first post-independence wave of Irish immigration.
He's a major character in Twenty Years After. Dumas presents him as a butcher-shop employee who gets ideas above his station -- the musketeers say things like "Oh! Such a brute!" while twirling their mustaches and fixing the plumes in their foppish hats.
Yeah, well what would you expect from a bunch of Huguenot-slaughtering* Cavaliers**?
*
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And we know when it's worked because they start beating the snot out of the next group of immigrants. This was being parodied at least as early as the first post-independence wave of Irish immigration.
Yay America!
Yay America!
And we know when it's worked because they start beating the snot out of the next group of immigrants. This was being parodied at least as early as the first post-independence wave of Irish immigration.
In feeble defense of this particular meaningless stretch of dirt, I understand this phenomenon is common in countries with successive waves of immigration. So this time we're only as awful as everyone else instead of being a top contender for the crown.
Unless one goes by volume of immigration, I suppose. Then it would be us again.