I ran across this article from a site called "The Viking Answer Lady" - it detailed some Scandanavian viking legends of undead from the old norse sagas.
Anyways, there was mention of an undead called a Draugr which seemed like it would make a really good Dwarven Vampire. I wrote it up on my blogsite and would appreciate any feedback or suggestions folks might have:
I ran across this article from a site called "The Viking Answer Lady" - it detailed some Scandanavian viking legends of undead from the old norse sagas.
Anyways, there was mention of an undead called a Draugr which seemed like it would make a really good Dwarven Vampire. I wrote it up on my blogsite and would appreciate any feedback or suggestions folks might have:
I haven't played 4e, but I do know that this looks awesome! Great work! I particularly like the flayed forms.
One thing, you might want to be more specific on how far from the barrow the Draugr will go (ie, does luring them past a certain point weaken them, will they stop at a certain line even if their quarry is a few feet away, etc) And I didn't see a mention of whether the spawn have the same distance restriction. That's the only question that really popped into my head on first read.
Keep it up!
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Very Good Start. I like the flavor a lot.
You have the Draugr as a controller. While I can see from the powers this makes sense, however it doesn't seem to fit the flavor. Mechanically controllers are best used with other critters...this guy seems to be a loner. My gut tells me this concept would work best as a lurker.
Rending (At-will, standard): +13 vs AC; 1d8+5 damage.
This is fine, but as a solo I think another power is needed. I would rename this power as simply "Claw Attack" and have a new power called "Rending". This power would be recharge 5,6 or something like that, and standard. It would state: Make 2 claw attacks against the same target. If both attacks hit the Draugr deals an extra 2d6 damage.
Grave Breath (At-will, standard) * Necrotic: Close blast 3; +12 vs Fortitude; 1d8+5 necrotic damage and the target is slowed (save ends).
The breath weapon doesn't feel right. Since its a solo your after, we really want the solo to be doing more than 1 thing per round. A great way to do this is through an Aura. Lets rename it "Chill of the Grave" or something, make it an Aura 3. Make the following attack against any character that starts its turn in the Draugr's aura: +12 vs Fortitude; 1d8 necrotic damage and the target is slowed (save ends). that will give the Draugr more attacks, but allow smart players to avoid them.
Vile Clutches (Recharge 3+, usable only when not bloodied, standard): +11 vs Reflex; 1d10+5 damage and the target is grabbed; the draugr and the grabbed target shift 6 spaces.
This power SCREAMS lurker! It is a defining power. This is what is going to make this creature memorable. Drop the "when not bloodied". This should be the Draugr's Modus Operandi. It can should always have this option so make it at-will but with a caveat of "A draugr can only have one grabbed opponent at a time". I'd drop the damage entirely, shifting 6 squares WITH a grabbed opponent without making a "moving a grabbed opponent" check is HUGE. Add the fog and this power becomes very creepy. What's needed now is another power to follow this up with. This guy is a vampire, the fluff describes fangs...we need a nice vampiric bite, so lets look at the next power:
Bloody Shredding (Recharges when the Draugr first becomes bloodied, standard) * Healing: Requires the target is grabbed or immobilized; +12 vs Fortitude; 2d6+5 damage and the target is weakened (save ends), and the draugr regains 36 hitpoints.
This power looks pretty good as a bite to follow the Vile Clutches power. But only 2 an encounter takes some of the steam away from a sneaky, fog obscured grab and dash. I'd call it Vampiric bite, make it at-will (remember, they already have to be grabbed). I'd make the damage necrotic to ease the pain for characters with necro resist. I'd also make the healing equal twice the damage dealt. At best this is 34 hit points, but on average 24 hit points...a decent drop in healing to make up for its at-will. In addition, i'd reword it as "...and when the Draugr is bloodied it regains hit point equal to twice the damage dealt. Healing on a solo is a tough thing to counter...this sucker has a boatload of hit points and solo fights tend to drag on as a result. limiting that healing is a god thing. I'd play test it, and if the fight drags, drop the healing to equal to the damage dealt rather than twice.
Horrific Gaze (At-will, immediate interrupt, when an enemy moves adjacent) * Fear, Psychic: Close blast 2; +12 vs Will; 1d6+5 psychic damage and the target is immobilized until the start of its next turn.
That's pretty powerful. The close blast 2 is confusing. If you literally want the character immobilized when adjacent, then it should be close blast 1 with a trigger of when an enemy moves in range. Close blast 2 with the trigger when an enemy moves in range means the character stops before becoming adjacent. A much better power for lurker trying to munch on another character in its "Vile CLutches". However, THis would need to be toned down. Make it encounter with perhaps a recharge on bloodied. Play it to find the balance.
Flayed Form (Encounter, Free action when the Draugr first becomes bloodied) * Fear: The Draugr transforms into a flayed bear (or ox) until the end of the encounter, and gains a speed of 8. The Draugr immediately makes an attack: Close burst 2; +12 vs Will; the targets are immobilized (save ends).
In tactics you say the Draugr starts in flayed form...but it can only do this when bloodied? This needs to be fixed. I don't know the real world legends of Draugr, but I assume you get this shapeshifting idea from it. It seems a bit of a weird add-on. What is the purpose of this polymorph? Is it simply a way for the Draugr to get around? Or is it a disguise meant to fool travelers before it brings in the fog and transforms back? I like this last. Drop the attack, drop the bloodied condition. Animals do not fear it in this form. Its a disguise, perfect for a lurker: "Up ahead you see a small herd of oxen cross the road. As you approach, a thick fog begins to rise all around you..."
Bloody Rampage (At-will, usable only while bloodied; standard): The Draugr shifts up to its speed, and may make up to three Rending attacks at any point during the shift, though no more than two on a single target.
with the other changes, this is a bit out-of-character for a lurker (and a controller for that matter...this is very "skirmisher") But a nice "go boom when bloodied" is always a treat. Perhaps simply make it an encounter power usable when bloodied (one shot) but make it such that the Draugr can make 2 rending attacks (as I've recast it) against 2 different opponents. Keep the shift, but only in the fog. This give the Draugr the potential to deal massive damage to 2 characters.
Call Up the Fog (Recharge 6+, Minor): Close burst 3; the Draugr creates a fog cloud within the zone until the end of the encounter. Squares within the zone are considered heavily obscured to all creatures except the Draugr. If this power recharges and is used again, any existing fog clouds created through this power immediately dissipate.
Make it a close burst 10...give the draugr some movement. I think heavily obscured is a bit too much, way too defensive. lightly obscured allws the characters to more success on attacks. I'd add a power that gives the Draugr combat advantage against any enemy in the fog.
Stone Meld (Recharge 5+, Move): The Draugr can move through earth or stone up to its speed, but must end its move in an open square.
Indestructible (The same)
Stand Your Ground (The same)
These last are fine as is.
I just realized a quoted the above posters changes and not the direct material (I think)...but I think my comments still stand.
General idea is to think a little harder about what the role best suits the concept, and then use powers that reinforce that role.
Hey appreciate all the recommendations thus far... I'm going to gather these along with some from other boards and do a revision next week. I'm hoping to include this critter in an adventure I'm writing. If you have any other suggestions, please keep posting!
One other thing.. I always appreciate it when there is a list of what info is known at different knowledge DCs. I saw the DC25 info about the lair, but maybe a little more expansive list would be good to include.