I smaked this kobold with a pillow one time, and he flew 35 feet into a woodchipper.
"nnnnnnnnnnGSSSSSSSSH!"
That's what it sounded like.
then you hurry up and place the pillow where it will catch the remains! :P
Bloody Kobold Martini
Bloody Kobold Martini
Shaken, not stirred.
I smaked this kobold with a pillow one time, and he flew 35 feet into a woodchipper.
"nnnnnnnnnnGSSSSSSSSH!"
That's what it sounded like.
Go dog go!
That reminds me of the time I was fighting this guy with three nipples.
I put a kobold in a pillowcase and beat him to death with it.
Not quite James Bond smooth, but....I roll like that.
At least you didn't beat him with your golden gun.
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At least you didn't beat him with your golden gun.That reminds me of the time I was fighting this guy with three nipples.
I put a kobold in a pillowcase and beat him to death with it.
Not quite James Bond smooth, but....I roll like that.
That thing was real? I thought it was a cigarette lighter or something.
That thing was real? I thought it was a cigarette lighter or something.At least you didn't beat him with your golden gun.That reminds me of the time I was fighting this guy with three nipples.
I put a kobold in a pillowcase and beat him to death with it.
Not quite James Bond smooth, but....I roll like that.
Wasn't a very efficient weapon actually, only held one round.
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Wasn't a very efficient weapon actually, only held one round.That thing was real? I thought it was a cigarette lighter or something.At least you didn't beat him with your golden gun.That reminds me of the time I was fighting this guy with three nipples.
I put a kobold in a pillowcase and beat him to death with it.
Not quite James Bond smooth, but....I roll like that.
"That's all I need."
Whatever. Report for pwning, you three-nippled freak of nature.
I don't even know what that is, but..... yes. (scaramanga)Oh, okay. The guy wit' three nipples.
Yes, he had 3 nipples.
Wikipedia says:
In the 1974 James Bond movie The Man With the Golden Gun, the eponymous villain, Francisco Scaramanga, has a third nipple. Bond has Q Department make a fake nipple in order to impersonate Scaramanga.
"Get your free Eileen's Kobold Cleaver hunting kit and license right here on Paizo. We offer a 30 day free trial. If your not completely satisfied with your Kobold Cleaver hunting kit and license we will send you your own stuffed Kobold Cleaver which you can proudly display in your living room as your own. If you order now, during this limited time offer, we will throw in this unique Kobold Cleaver snare for free. Lets go to the street and see what random strangers have to say about this wonderful product.
Eileen: "Tell me sir, have you ever hunted a Kobold Cleaver with an Eileen's Kobold Cleaver hunting kit and license before?"
Random Stranger: "Why as a matter of fact, yes I have, in fact I have one now."
Eileen: "And tell me what was the result?"
Random Stranger: "Well, uhhh....you know, tracked the critter down just from my back yard.
Eileen: "Really from your backyard, tell me what did you use for bait?"
Random Stranger: "Well the Eileen's Kobold Cleaver hunting kit and license does come with a Heathy sniff and bait special. Darn critter thought the Heathy statue was the real thing. Came up, sniffed it, tried to pee on it, when Wham! it fell right on top of him."
Eileen: "Would you reccommend the Eileen's Kobold Cleaver hunting kit and license to your friends?"
Random Stranger: "Absolutely, in fact I bought one for each member of the family. We hunt Kobold Cleavers together, fun for the whole family."
Eileen: There you go folks, the words of a random stranger on just how good Eileen's Kobold Cleaver Hunting kit and license really works."
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Wasn't a very efficient weapon actually, only held one round.That thing was real? I thought it was a cigarette lighter or something.At least you didn't beat him with your golden gun.That reminds me of the time I was fighting this guy with three nipples.
I put a kobold in a pillowcase and beat him to death with it.
Not quite James Bond smooth, but....I roll like that."That's all I need."
Whatever. Report for pwning, you three-nippled freak of nature.
but, but, I don't wanna be pwned.
but, but, I don't wanna be pwned.Wasn't a very efficient weapon actually, only held one round.That thing was real? I thought it was a cigarette lighter or something.At least you didn't beat him with your golden gun.That reminds me of the time I was fighting this guy with three nipples.
I put a kobold in a pillowcase and beat him to death with it.
Not quite James Bond smooth, but....I roll like that."That's all I need."
Whatever. Report for pwning, you three-nippled freak of nature.
So what exactly is pwning?
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I don't even know what that is, but..... yes. (scaramanga)Oh, okay. The guy wit' three nipples.
Yes, he had 3 nipples.
Wikipedia says:
In the 1974 James Bond movie The Man With the Golden Gun, the eponymous villain, Francisco Scaramanga, has a third nipple. Bond has Q Department make a fake nipple in order to impersonate Scaramanga.
Did it have a bullet in it or something cool?
Okay, I asked for this.
Did it have a bullet in it or something cool?I don't even know what that is, but..... yes. (scaramanga)Oh, okay. The guy wit' three nipples.
Yes, he had 3 nipples.
Wikipedia says:
In the 1974 James Bond movie The Man With the Golden Gun, the eponymous villain, Francisco Scaramanga, has a third nipple. Bond has Q Department make a fake nipple in order to impersonate Scaramanga.
No, it didn't have anything special about it, too bad, that would have been pretty neat. Bond tried to impersonate Scaramanga by having Q make one, he then atached it to his chest and met Scaramanga's contact, Mr Osato (I think was his name). They saw through the disguise if I recall correctly. Q was rather grossed out when Bond requested it.
Okay, I asked for this.
But not this. Quit it, folks.
Okay, I asked for this.
Yes you did, would you like to make it up to me? Only I possess the power to dig you out of this hole.
Very well. I'm going in. If I don't make it, someone tell my Cousin Joe I hate him.
I think Aberzombie's got a pillow perfect for that. I remember it because one time I thought it was you and stabbed in in the 'face'.
Or it might have been the butt.
Heh, you now Heathy's ugly when you can't even tell whether a decoy's head is separate from its butt.
Look into my eye.
*brapp!*Now get in the pillowcase.
Woah, Heathy, that was some fart. Or was it a burp? I still can't tell which way's which.
~grabs Kobold Cleaver~ Poor KC! I think I will make you my pet! ~squeqes you tight~ I will hug him, and pet him, and love him and call him George!
Hey, look. I tied a sprig of mistletoe to my tail.
~I hold KC out to you~ Here! Tickle his nose with that mistletoe. He should like it!
See how far a dragon can punt him like a football.
~holds KC tight, crushing him~ NO! I like George! Go get your own football, errrr, Kobold! ~shakes KC like a rag doll~ He is soooooo cute!
See how far a dragon can punt him like a football.~holds KC tight, crushing him~ NO! I like George! Go get your own football, errrr, Kobold! ~shakes KC like a rag doll~ He is soooooo cute!
Hey, Sharoth? Have you ever heard of a reptile named George? Blech! I think you'd much prefer an old rug named George! It fits great!
Of course, 'John' would fit even better.
See how far a dragon can punt him like a football.~holds KC tight, crushing him~ NO! I like George! Go get your own football, errrr, Kobold! ~shakes KC like a rag doll~ He is soooooo cute!Hey, Sharoth? Have you ever heard of a reptile named George? Blech! I think you'd much prefer an old rug named George! It fits great!
Of course, 'John' would fit even better.
~wicked smile~ Oh, so you want to be used as a "John"?!? That can be arranged, oh scrawny one!
~wicked smile~ Oh, so you want to be used as a "John"?!? That can be arranged, oh scrawny one!See how far a dragon can punt him like a football.~holds KC tight, crushing him~ NO! I like George! Go get your own football, errrr, Kobold! ~shakes KC like a rag doll~ He is soooooo cute!Hey, Sharoth? Have you ever heard of a reptile named George? Blech! I think you'd much prefer an old rug named George! It fits great!
Of course, 'John' would fit even better.
No, 'George' is a rug! Or is he a warwoof? It's hard to tell...maybe he's a mop? Or a toilet scrub brush?
~chukles evilly~ Does anyone need to use the "John"?
~chukles evilly~ Does anyone need to use the "John"?
I think the 'John' needs to start using it. It reeks in here.
Then you have chum.
It's that easy to make new friends? I wish I'd woodchipped kobolds sooner!
Then you have chum.It's that easy to make new friends? I wish I'd woodchipped kobolds sooner!
What do you get if you woodchip Heathy?
A bunch of sh**.
If I sleep on a kobold pillow, will I dream of cleavers?
If I sleep on a kobold pillow, will I dream of cleavers?
Only if you whap the kobold in the pillow to a bloody pulp!
If I sleep on a kobold pillow, will I dream of cleavers?Only if you whap the kobold in the pillow to a bloody pulp!
Messy! I would wake up with a bloody head...
Bloody dragons.....
Bloody dragons.....
~KICKS KC and sends him flying over the field goal~ Score!
Bloody dragons.....~KICKS KC and sends him flying over the field goal~ Score!
Then you have chum.It's that easy to make new friends? I wish I'd woodchipped kobolds sooner!What do you get if you woodchip Heathy?
A bunch of sh**.Whelp,....the chipper wasn't silver so it didn't do diddly squat.
It was kinda frightnin though; that'd explain the loss of bowel control.
Well, you're always like that. Hmm....gonna have to come up with better insults.