Tim
"That information is above your clearance citizen. Your team leader has been entrusted with the mission number. Consult with your team leader if you require that information."
"A record should be maintained of any citizens who show signs of disloyalty. Forgetting the roles of one's team members is a sign of disloyalty. Such is insubordination. You have the authority to issue fines for such insubordination. A fine of 10-50 credits would be appropriate."
Heads back to PLC outfitting, catching the nearest Shuttlebot.
Logan
** spoiler omitted **
I'll be kind- you were only fined once.
Thank you, oh altruistic and magnanimous GM! Truly your genes were given to you perfectly preserved with no genetic mutatations having crept in throughout the generations!
Spoiler for Boris
On the way back to the PLC you have a peek. There are more commie pamphlets, 2 items that look like gernades of some sort, and solid looking, semi-automatic slug thrower. It has a clip of nine rounds in it.
"Why yes, of course I can explain that," he says happily to the interrogator. "The object before you only merely appears to be a Yellow laser barrel. But it's actually an experimental device assigned to me by R&D in my capacity as the Happiness Officer of my troubleshooters outfit. This object, in actuality, is a happiness device with the working title of Joy Toy. I've been having remarkable success with my team of troubleshooters. In fact, I'd wager that they are the happiest clones in the Complex! Here, let me demonstrate it for you."
Logan takes the barrel and sticks his finger in one end. "Now normally," he continues with contagious enthusiasm, "I'd attach it to a grip and pretend that I was going to shoot an unhappy troubleshooter. But instead of getting jolted, the perp would receive a pleasant wave of happiness and the mission could continue on without any further complications. Follow me? But truth be told, you don't even need the grip. That's just a prop. Believe it or not, an uncooperative citizen is more willing to take a laser blast than a blast of joy. So this device is designed to fit a laser grip so as to catch an uncooperative citizen unaware." Logan eyes the interrogator's trucheon and then winks at him. "I think you'd appreciate THAT."
"Okay, now for the demonstration! Just put your finger in the other end of the barrel there." Logan motions to the goons to come over. "You too! Come on over and get your dose of pure, unadulterated rapture!"
Logan says, "Certainly LOYAL citizens wouldn't refuse to become more happy." Then he makes it obvious that he is looking at their name tags and making mental notes. "You don't want to be happy?"
"Just place your fingers on the device near your commander's. Yeah, that's it! Okay, now are you gentlemen ready to exult in the sheer ecstasy of golden glee?"
With that, Logan activates his mutant power, attempting to send high voltage through his finger and into the Yellow laser barrel, electrocuting the lot of them.
Logan
Spoiler for Boris
** spoiler omitted **
Heads to collect the team after the invasive scrub-down
Tim snaps his head around to look at Horton, eyes wide, as an even wider smile spreads across his face. He puts his best side forward to the camera."Horton-R-TPK, you seem entirely too wrapped up in your documentary to remember that Logan is your Happiness Officer. My post in this extraordinarily important mission is that of Loyalty Officer. It appears that you have fogotten that. Forgetting important details like that is a sign of flagging loyalty, wouldn't you agree? You wouldn't want to appear to be disloyal and uncaring about our mission, would you HORTON-R-TPK?
I might even go so far as to say that your flagging loyalty is making me unhappy and uncomfortably odorous. Doesn't it make you feel bad to know that you're pulling down the morale of the team and costing me 100 credits? I don't want to feel bad; you don't want to feel bad. We should be happy. You should be loyal. A good way to start being loyal would be to stop filming me and get about the important business of helping with the equipment when it arrives."
"The computer KNOWS that Horton-R-TPK-2 is unshakably loyal, and of course I was just testing you, as you seem to be gradually consumed by madness. You verbal tics may even be considered treasonous, although I'll let the computer decide that, after all I am only the communications and recording officer."
"AND I take my KEY <makes a fist as if he's grasping something powerfully> position on this team quite seriously"
"As for my my test... my 'not knowing', <he dramatically makes a quotation mark gesture in the air>, I was just testing your rapidly defraying sanity in case you become unable to interpret the loyalty of those around you. Clones in this very team may at this very moment be commiting treasonous acts, while you are making... noises."
<Horton pans around to other team members present.... with his huge synchronized swimmer's smile.>
Spoiler for Tru
Tru manages to spout out the job number just as Bob begins his hygiene inspection. The smiling clerk hands Tru several sheets of digital paper, each one has numerous invoices, contract and waiver forms to scan through and sign. Most of them indicate that the gear is being loaned to you, and that you are liable for its condition.
Hygiene test for Tru: 1d20 8=28
The green citizen is impressed.
"Now here is a citizen with good hygiene. In fact, this is some of the best hygiene I've seen in months. I will certainly be making a note of this to the computer citizen Tru!
Tru finds it difficult to focus on signing forms when two men are examining his anus with a pen light.
Finally, the green citizen turns to Bob.
Well citizen Bob. 3 out of five members of your team have failed the hygiene inspection. That is not good. It means you have been doing a poor job as hygiene inspector. It is time for me assess your own hygiene.
The green citizen begins giving Bob an extremely thorough hygiene inspection.
Bob hygiene test: 1d20 8=19
Well citizen Bob. Your hygiene isn't the worst I have seen today, but it is not the best either. Certainly it is a little on the low side for a hygiene officer. I hope this 100 credit fine will help to remind you of the need for proper personal hygiene. However, in order for you to continue as a member of this team, I think something more drastic is needed. Your treasonous disregard for your duty shall mandate a full body cleanse followed by a brainscrub.
By this time more vulture squad goons have arrived, and one of them tasers Bob and drags him away.
Many minutes later Tru has finished filling out the necessary paper work. About this time, Logan and Boris arrive, looking much, much cleaner. Bob has not yet returned.
Your next step is to go to the PLC warehouse to pick up the gear. The warehouse is through a set of doors and down a long wide hallway.
When you enter the warehouse, you see row after row after row of dangerously high shelves packed with boxes, crates and loose goods of all description. Various shapes and sizes of bots scurry back and forth taking goods off shelves and delivering them to citizens standing in lines waiting to pick up their gear. Winches and cranes connected to the ceiling manouver crates and boxes around. You see multiple lines nearby. Most are quite long.
You get into another line.
"His anus is as clean as mine? Impossible."
<Gets a close up with his camera.>
"Imagine that, it is!"
"The computer KNOWS that Horton-R-TPK-2 is unshakably loyal, and of course I was just testing you, as you seem to be gradually consumed by madness. You verbal tics may even be considered treasonous, although I'll let the computer decide that, after all I am only the communications and recording officer."
"AND I take my KEY <makes a fist as if he's grasping something powerfully> position on this team quite seriously"
"As for my my test... my 'not knowing', <he dramatically makes a quotation mark gesture in the air>, I was just testing your rapidly defraying sanity in case you become unable to interpret the loyalty of those around you. Clones in this very team may at this very moment be commiting treasonous acts, while you are making... noises."
Tim smiles. "I do the testing around here, citizen. I am the Loyalty Officer, after all. However, you do make valid points about treason, so perhaps I'll let you off easy this time. Plus, your rear is squeaky clean. Horton-R-TPK is hereby fined 10 credits for mild disloyalty."
Tim blinks.
"cluck"
Tim blinks."cluck"
<Into the microphone....>
"'Cluck!' whatever that means. There is it folks, the defraying sanity of a troubleshooter who can't handle serving the computer. Here's your ten credit fine. Make sure it is turned in with all the requisite paperwork, Tim-R-PRO-1. All hail the computer!"
Spoiler for Bob
Your next step is to go to the PLC warehouse to pick up the gear. The warehouse is through a set of doors and down a long wide hallway.
When you enter the warehouse, you see row after row after row of dangerously high shelves packed with boxes, crates and loose goods of all description. Various shapes and sizes of bots scurry back and forth taking goods off shelves and delivering them to citizens standing in lines waiting to pick up their gear. Winches and cranes connected to the ceiling manouver crates and boxes around. You see multiple lines nearby. Most are quite long.
You get into another line.
By the time you reach the end of this line and are ready to hand over your requisition forms to the nice man in the orange jumpsuit, Bob returns. He looks pretty doped up and has a big s~@+ eating grin on his face. A s##! eating grin, being the standard sort of grin to sport after a brainscrub.
Now the whole team is back together again.
The yellow citizen looks over the forms.
"This way please happy citizens." he says cheerfully.
He leads you into the bowels of the massive warehouse room. You head down an aisle that is feels like a narrow canyon. The shelves tower above you and are very close together. Some items look precariously placed, and you fear that they could easily fall and crush you or one of your trusted companions like a rockslide.
"Good job Equipment officer! How were you able to get our equipment order processed?"
"Hey, guysh! That shure wash some clenlo-, cleanla-, hygiene inshpection, huh?"
He says this while leaning a few degrees off-center and pointing in your general direction.
He leads you into the bowels of the massive warehouse room. You head down an aisle that is feels like a narrow canyon. The shelves tower above you and are very close together. Some items look precariously placed, and you fear that they could easily fall and crush you or one of your trusted companions like a rockslide.
"I love equipment!!"
<Horton throws his arms into the air with joy.>
GM EYES
...like a narrow canyon...
He leads you into the bowels of the massive warehouse room. You head down an aisle that is feels like a narrow canyon. The shelves tower above you and are very close together. Some items look precariously placed, and you fear that they could easily fall and crush you or one of your trusted companions like a rockslide.
I don't like the looks of some of those shelves.
Boris:
[
QUOTE="Team Leader Boris-R-LOF-1"]
He leads you into the bowels of the massive warehouse room. You head down an aisle that is feels like a narrow canyon. The shelves tower above you and are very close together. Some items look precariously placed, and you fear that they could easily fall and crush you or one of your trusted companions like a rockslide.
I don't like the looks of some of those shelves.
** spoiler omitted **
Horton
Suddenly the shelf jolts slightly. You aren't sure what caused the sudden jolt, but you don't have time to think about it. Heavy boxes suddenly come plummeting down from one of the upper shelves.
AGILITY CHECKS...
1d20+8=16
Bob leaps away from the falling boxes with a surprising amount of grace for someone still recovering from a mind-wipe.
Spoiler for Horton
Bob leaps away from the falling boxes with a surprising amount of grace for someone still recovering from a mind-wipe.
<Horton dances about getting everything on camera.>
Spoiler for Horton
** spoiler omitted **
DM EYES
"How nimbly the troubleshooters avoid the deluge of precious equipment... can they survive?"
<Like a nature documentary....>
Boris Agility: 1d20 9=10
Tim Agililty: 1d20 8=24
The boxes come crashing down, Logan, Tru, Tim, and Horton all manage to dive clear. Unfortunately, Bob and Boris don't quite make it. Boris is thoroughly crushed under the a heavy box, but Tim is only clipped by one. Tim manages to drag himself out from under the rubble, but is pretty battered up.
<Focuses in on Boris.>
"That's gotta hurt!"
Bob crawls out of the wreckage of the crates, his left arm badly hurt.
"Hey guys, I'm still alive! Wait, where's Team Leader Boris? Oh no, he was... oh. At least he was turned into, clean paste."
Bob then begins to cry softly.
"Wait, no, I cannot be made unhappy by this. We must go on. Yes, for Boris-1's sake, no for the sake of the COMPUTER ITSELF, WE MUST PERSEVERE!"
Bob apparently tries to be inspirational after losing blood.
Fortunately, the Yellow citizen who was fetching helping you get our gear also managed to dodge clear. He has a look of horror on his face and he glances up at where the crates fell from.
"Crap. This is going to incur and awful lot of paper work. You know this sort of thing happens more than you would think. I'm going to have to file a safety report."
He looks at Bob.
"You don't look so good citizen."
He then starts talking into his PDC
We need a medical team here as soon as possible. There's been an accident.
Tim peers around suspiciously, cutting off another cluck in mid clu-.
"I smell treason. We've lost our team leader and our hygiene officer has been made bloodied and unhygenic, just after an inspection. Coincidence? I think not. Such constant setbacks to our important mission can only be evidence of traitors working to stop our mission before it begins. This will not stand. I suggest we sweep the area for suspicious characters."
GM:
Famous Last Words: "Gespacho Soup!" as he's about to be splattered