GOBLINS!!!


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Paizo Employee Senior Software Developer

Goblins are attacking!


Gary Teter wrote:
Goblins are attacking!

WOOT! [Pulls out lawn chair and beer then sits to watch the fireworks]


*eats every single attacking goblin*


*goes into food coma and dreams of pink girl geckos*

Paizo Employee Senior Software Developer

The horrid little things are singing!


I'm hiding behind a 3/4 full rain barrel. When a goblin comes past I raise my head and make a rude gesture, defying it to leap over the barrel to get me!


They bite! They fight! They bite they fight they bite! Bite bite bite fight fight fight! It's the Itchy...

Paizo Employee Senior Software Developer

FIRE!!!

Liberty's Edge

Nose to the wind....


I join the goblins. Stab the longshanks!!!


Pathfinder Maps, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Goblins wave their torches round.
Goblins burn town to the ground.
Doggies burn and goblins cheer,
We bring pizza, you bring beer.


Pathfinder Maps, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Kill some humans, take their stuff,
Earn the XP, get more tough,
Add Bard levels, ask you folks,
Why you say goblins are jokes?

Liberty's Edge

Feeling I've been....

Paizo Employee Senior Software Developer

GAHHHH!!!!


what!

Paizo Employee Senior Software Developer

They made me change the website!

The Exchange

Gary Teter wrote:
They made me change the website!

Yay! No more goblins!


So how often was everyone else hitting refresh? I was trying to restrain myself to once every fifteen minutes, often broke down at ten.


Arctaris wrote:
I join the goblins. Stab the longshanks!!!

Yes, kill them all! Bwahahaha!


Watcher wrote:
I'm hiding behind a 3/4 full rain barrel. When a goblin comes past I raise my head and make a rude gesture, defying it to leap over the barrel to get me!

I tell the goblin to get out of my way, and when he turns his head to glare at me, I skewer him and leap over the barrel and kill Watcher.

Liberty's Edge

Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Watcher wrote:
I'm hiding behind a 3/4 full rain barrel. When a goblin comes past I raise my head and make a rude gesture, defying it to leap over the barrel to get me!
I tell the goblin to get out of my way, and when he turns his head to glare at me, I skewer him and leap over the barrel and kill Watcher.

Hey, KC, I ran a game of Classic D&D yesterday. The kobolds successfully massacred a total of 13 adventurers over the course of about four hours. Something about the adventurers not thinking to use their gear creatively.

Also: the goblins apparently like 3rd edition enough to demand an upgrade to it.


This be Goblin Day!!!

The Exchange

"Sayzyoos!" Gerb Funguslicker (Goblin Steamdruid - thank you erik mona for the new classes and races) pulls a steampistol, loads shot, fills water chamber, casts heat metal, and fires from a great distance outside the combat zone. The impact shatters the rainbarrel everyone is hiding behind and hurls Gerb back a few feet.

"Tolya! Tolyaisgetyoos! Putsgarbageonmyvegegardenwillsya!"


WOOOOO! YEAAAAAH!!!


yellowdingo wrote:

"Sayzyoos!" Gerb Funguslicker (Goblin Steamdruid - thank you erik mona for the new classes and races) pulls a steampistol, loads shot, fills water chamber, casts heat metal, and fires from a great distance outside the combat zone. The impact shatters the rainbarrel everyone is hiding behind and hurls Gerb back a few feet.

"Tolya! Tolyaisgetyoos! Putsgarbageonmyvegegardenwillsya!"

I hate Tinker Gnomes. Fireball.

Liberty's Edge

All senses clean!


yellowdingo wrote:
"Sayzyoos!" Gerb Funguslicker (Goblin Steamdruid - thank you erik mona for the new classes and races) pulls a steampistol, loads shot, fills water chamber, casts heat metal, and fires from a great distance outside the combat zone. The impact shatters the rainbarrel everyone is hiding behind...

But which barrel is it? It's surely not the one Watcher used to be hiding behind. I'm putting my money on Heathy's barrel.

The Exchange

Kobold Cleaver wrote:
I hate Tinker Gnomes. Fireball.

"Tinkergnome? Wheretinkergnome? Meangrygoblinsteamdruid!"

yellowdingo wrote:
Gerb Funguslicker (Goblin Steamdruid - thank you erik mona for the new classes and races)

Gerb Begins reloading steampistol he scrounged from Midden at Sandpoint...

"Supidwanabegoblinsallhiddinghindsamerainbarrel!"

Liberty's Edge

yellowdingo wrote:

"Tinkergnome? Wheretinkergnome? Meangrygoblinsteamdruid!"

/QUOTE]

Hey goblin! Look! *lights a torch and lobs it off into the distance*

The Exchange

Kassil wrote:
yellowdingo wrote:

"Tinkergnome? Wheretinkergnome? Meangrygoblinsteamdruid!"

/QUOTE]

Hey goblin! Look! *lights a torch and lobs it off into the distance*

Gerb walks over and standing toe to toe with suspiciously tall goblin points steam pistol upward 'neath codpiece.

"fetchyerowndarnstick!"


yellowdingo wrote:
Kassil wrote:
yellowdingo wrote:

"Tinkergnome? Wheretinkergnome? Meangrygoblinsteamdruid!"

/QUOTE]

Hey goblin! Look! *lights a torch and lobs it off into the distance*

Gerb walks over and standing toe to toe with suspiciously tall goblin points steam pistol upward 'neath codpiece.

"fetchyerowndarnstick!" /quote]
KC takes off his goblin costume and his stilts. "Fireball!"

The Exchange

Kobold Cleaver wrote:
yellowdingo wrote:
Kassil wrote:
yellowdingo wrote:

"Tinkergnome? Wheretinkergnome? Meangrygoblinsteamdruid!"

/QUOTE]

Hey goblin! Look! *lights a torch and lobs it off into the distance*

Gerb walks over and standing toe to toe with suspiciously tall goblin points steam pistol upward 'neath codpiece.

"fetchyerowndarnstick!"
KC takes off his goblin costume and his stilts. "Fireball!"

Fireball prematurely triggers pistol pressurevessel. Everyone involved takes shrapnel damage.

Ghost Goblin stares at broken Pisol...

"Frizzle!"

The Exchange

Gerb the Goblin Ghost Steam Druid walks off all upset at his toy being broke.


yellowdingo wrote:
Gerb the Goblin Ghost Steam Druid walks off all upset at his toy being broke.

Ha ha.

Liberty's Edge

"GET OFF MY LAWN!!!"

<grabs pitchfork>


Wurzel McFurzel wrote:

"GET OFF MY LAWN!!!"

<grabs pitchfork>

"Look, Mister McFurzel, your crops are on fire!

*Lights fire to crops*

The Exchange

Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Wurzel McFurzel wrote:

"GET OFF MY LAWN!!!"

<grabs pitchfork>

"Look, Mister McFurzel, your crops are on fire!

*Lights fire to crops*

Thuringian Firehound (Headless Demondog with hand where head should be holding a Burning Torch) sneaks up behind the Crop Burning Freznip and holds burning torch between KC's legs...then runs off to burn down next field.


yellowdingo wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Wurzel McFurzel wrote:

"GET OFF MY LAWN!!!"

<grabs pitchfork>

"Look, Mister McFurzel, your crops are on fire!

*Lights fire to crops*
Thuringian Firehound (Headless Demondog with hand where head should be holding a Burning Torch) sneaks up behind the Crop Burning Freznip and holds burning torch between KC's legs...then runs off to burn down next field.

"OOOWWWW!!! Bad dog! No supper tonight! Bad, naughty dog!

The Exchange

Thruingian Firehound drops torch into next wheat field...gives crude one fingered jesture in KC's Direction...before fleeing into the tinder dry Forest with burning torch.

Liberty's Edge

<activates the Scarecrow Golems>

<bangs on tin bath to wake neighbours>

The Exchange

A Ghost Goblin SteamDruid begins to sing an eeire song proving his streetcred as Bard:

"Chum! Chum! Chum!
I see a forest burning!
Chum! Chum! Chum!
Burning with a Yearning!
Chum! Chum! Chum!
The farmers are alarmed!
Chum! Chum! Chum!
The Goblins are Armed!
Chum! Chum! Chum!
The Crops are Ablaze!
Chum! Chum! Chum!
There is a smokey haze!
Chum! Chum! Chum!
The Hounds are circling!
Chum! Chum! Chum!
Movement in the Dark!
Chum! Chum! Chum!
Shadows in the Smoke!
Chum! Chum! Chum!
What will we Do?
Chum! Chum! Chum!

Grand Lodge

What happen?

Someone set up us the fire.

Main screen door open.

It's GOBLINS!


Wurzel McFurzel wrote:

<activates the Scarecrow Golems>

<bangs on tin bath to wake neighbours>

Kill the dog. He's the idiot who ran into the field with a burning torch.

The Exchange

Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Wurzel McFurzel wrote:

<activates the Scarecrow Golems>

<bangs on tin bath to wake neighbours>

Kill the dog. He's the idiot who ran into the field with a burning torch.

Thuringian Firehound emerges from the burning forest with a Scroll. It drops the scroll at the feet of the Kobold pretending to be a Goblin.

NOTE WRITTEN IN CHARCOAL ON BURNED LEAF: Please give Kobold pretending to be Goblin all your Eggs, and Bacon, or he will burn down your fields, as he has angry Wife expecting Breakfast in Bed. Dont mind the Thuringian Firehound, thats just his messagedog- Signed Thuringian FireHo<scratched out> Signed Mrs Kobold.

Thuringian firehound sits down by Kobold whose cover has been blown and scratches for fleas with hind legs.


The unfortunate kobold flees the angry goblins and paizonians, united by a common cause to kill the kobold who invested highly in his Disguise skill(and led by Heathy, that flea-bitten were-poodle). However, he pauses to send one last, fatal maximized lightning bolt at the stupid dog that blew his cover.


GLOBULINS!!!


Id Vicious wrote:
GLOBULINS!!!

Yipe! Lightning bolt!

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 16

Suddenly an elf appears from the burning woodland, tall and dignified (if somewhat covered with soot). He stares at the chaos, a bemused expression on his face. In a distinct English accent, he asks, "What have we here, then? Rampaging goblins, this far from the goblin lands?"

With infinite grace, he pulls out his cell phone and dials his cousin, Jared.


Sir_Wulf wrote:
Suddenly an elf appears from the burning woodland, tall and dignified (if somewhat covered with soot). He stares at the chaos, a bemused expression on his face. In a distinct English accent, he asks, "What have we here, then? Rampaging goblins, this far from the goblin lands?"

"Hey! Don't you leave me out! Lightning bolt!", the insane kobold yells while fleeing the angry goblins and paizonians.


Did anyone save the URL of the "Goblins are attacking Paizo" image? I told my girlfriend about it and she wants to see it.

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