Did you know in Nepal they are sacrificing eight goats a day to get 4e off the ground and the new grapple rules will come with a 80 page picture book by Wayne Reynolds. Wow 4e is gonna be Great!
The strangest thing so far is I made sure I put this in the 4e thread above and some how it ended up here in the Off-Topic threads?
oh well-Gnomes in 4e are drunkards that live in tree trunks and have been known to also befriend treants, which are now a core race and have the best Talent Tree Table, which will have a D.I downloadable picture book painted by yours truly Wayne Reynolds showing a 190 pictures of the treant doing his talents the spring and fall talents are the most breathtaking! 4e is gonna Rock!
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The strangest thing so far is I made sure I put this in the 4e thread above and some how it ended up here in the Off-Topic threads?
The other thing planned for 4e is that not only are they going to have randomized dungeons, but everything will be randomized. Even replies to messageboards. That way you will have to read everything to even have a clue as to what is going on.
I heard that, in order to pioneer new environmentally friendly printing processes, the books will be printed on the pale ivory flesh of the zealous and truly devoted RPG enthusiasts. These basement bound boy-men have been without sunlight for so long that their flesh is a perfect office environment friendly white. Pages will have an unmistakable musk that WoTC representatives swear, "You get used to after a while. You'll wonder how you ever gamed without it."
Each "paper mule" will be well cared for prior to the new edition's release. These neck-bearded fanatics will be fed daily with nachos, Domino's pizza, Budweiser and Mountain Dew in order to help them produce as much as a single copy of the core rulebooks each. A group of tattooists will begin the arduous and nauseating process of printing each page onto their still living flesh after the proud mules have one last Christmas (or Solstice, for the Wiccan paper mule contingent) before "harvesting" and binding can begin.
It's said that each volume, when opened, will scream. And begin sweating if the temperature exceeds 50 degrees farenheit.
Rumors are swirling about creating dice and skeleton miniatures from their bones! Merchants are now a core class the swindle talent tree feat is crazy!
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After cackling madly about the essentially arbitrary decision to make some demons devils and some devils demons, 4E designers went a step further and decided to tinker with the alignments of many classic D&D monsters in order to keep seasoned players on their toes. In most cases the alignment change was made in diametric opposition to the beast's former alignment. If the thought of a paladin gleefully consorting with red dragons doesn't shake things up at the gaming table, just wait until the PCs meet up with the now Chaotic Evil flumphs, beings demented and depraved beyond anything even Lovecraft dared to dream.
The new PHB race is "the orcus", capitalizing on everyone's love for the demon lord and ensuring that a whole new generation will enjoy hearing from the friends of their parents that playing D&D will send you to Hell. Orcuses will replace humans and still give the player one extra feat at first level so no one is expected to complain.
Finally, in order to make collecting and playing D&D minis more exciting, they will be randomly inserted into boxes of King Vitamin cereal (which WotC has recently acquired the rights to from Quaker Oats and plans to release a simplified version of in May 2008, tentatively titled King Vitamin 2.0. This version will be much more enjoyable to eat than KV 1E, according to WotC's press release, although it tastes nothing like the original and contains to vitamins.). One figure will be put in each box, and some figures will only be found in certain states. The first wave will consist entirely of characters from the RA Salvatore novels and obscure third tier characters from Eberron. When this news broke, one seller on eBay became so overwhelmed with visions of paying off his third mortgage by selling one Drizzt figure that his head exploded.
I heard that 4e can live for up to 18 months with its head cut off
El Skootro
Yeah...but is it bulletproof?
The Living Forgotten Realms will have a whole new spin on what a living Campaign can do. First you have to dress and live like your in the middle ages, all your material possesions must be handed over to Wotc. You'll then be given a Treasure Booster of random coins to purchase random rules boosters!
Also there will be actual Rules Lawyer Offices in every major city and town with a population of 10,000 or more, imagine your Dm's face when you show up with your Rules Lawyer From the Law offices of Whiteplume,Kos and Vecna!. There will also be a 24 hour 7 days a week emergency hotline you can speak to a live 4e 30th level Dungeon Masters,thats right Dm's now have levels too! You'll also be able to order the Three Core Rule Books from Domino's Pizza. bonus mini's will be on your pizza for a extra $5.00 dollars.
Gwar is the official 4e house band!
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Noticing a hole in their publishing schedule, the designers of 4E will introduce _And_, a sister magazine to _Dungeon_ and _Dragon_. Available only as part of the Digital Initiative, _And_ will include articles on how to simplify the use of conjunctions for a more exciting gaming experience. It will also feature the return of "Wormy", but a change in Dave A. Trampier's world vision in the last nineteen years will see the comic renamed "Get the %&#^$ off the Road, You @*$&%!".
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Noticing a hole in their publishing schedule, the designers of 4E will introduce _And_, a sister magazine to _Dungeon_ and _Dragon_. Available only as part of the Digital Initiative, _And_ will include articles on how to simplify the use of conjunctions for a more exciting gaming experience.
nonono I heard that this new magazine was just to explain how these changes are supposedly beneficial to us - the consumer, so that you can't understan until you spen the $50 a month for the digital initiative PLUS $300 a month for this special insider information
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Noticing a hole in their publishing schedule, the designers of 4E will introduce _And_, a sister magazine to _Dungeon_ and _Dragon_. Available only as part of the Digital Initiative, _And_ will include articles on how to simplify the use of conjunctions for a more exciting gaming experience. It will also feature the return of "Wormy", but a change in Dave A. Trampier's world vision in the last nineteen years will see the comic renamed "Get the %&#^$ off the Road, You @*$&%!".
I busted internal organs laughing at this. Are you happy now?
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I busted internal organs laughing at this. Are you happy now?
According to the latest blog entry by Rich Baker, because this is Saturday "happy" is now "sad", so I'm very depressed. However, he said that 4E will keep you laughing for as long as you'd like, and it would only cost a nominal fee added on your basic subscription charge to DI.
Noticing a hole in their publishing schedule, the designers of 4E will introduce _And_, a sister magazine to _Dungeon_ and _Dragon_. Available only as part of the Digital Initiative, _And_ will include articles on how to simplify the use of conjunctions for a more exciting gaming experience. It will also feature the return of "Wormy", but a change in Dave A. Trampier's world vision in the last nineteen years will see the comic renamed "Get the %&#^$ off the Road, You @*$&%!".
But this is actually true! Ampersand!
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But this is actually true! Ampersand!
_Ampersand_ is just the just the trial. You know the first one is always free. But just wait until June 2008. Bill Slavicsek will be hiding in dark alleys around the corner from inner city high schools trying to sell kids bags of polyhedron dice.
From
Rob Heinsoo's Blog
I've been quiet, but only on this blog.
I took a vacation and went to the Burning Man festival in Nevada for the first time.
An awesome vacation, complete with desert survival routines and whiteout dust-storms.
My wife and I joined friends from Port Angeles to run a cereal bar named Cereal Thrillers. We fed people something they didn't necessarily need, but they sure did want: sugary breakfast cereal with soymilk, vanilla or chocolate. When I say "bar" I mean it, we had a bar and a mirror complete with cereal boxes instead of bottles, and bar stools where people could pull up and sugar down. Cap'n Lucky was one of our most popular mixes and for cereal box prizes we gave away a mix of bindis, silkscreened sashes, Everway cards and D&D minis. Mostly Bloodwar minis, a bit of Night Below. Some cereal eaters knew what to do with their minis, including the woman who used the Mezzoloth's trident to spear her Captain Crunch and the guy who sent his Mind Flayer Lich after other characters' brains.
That was the closest I got to work for a week.
Capt. Crunch will be a major villian in 4e! Awesome cross your fingers that happens!
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Capt. Crunch will be a major villian in 4e! Awesome cross your fingers that happens!
In high school, strangely inspired by Dungeonland, I made evil versions of cereal mascots to use as the villains in the first campaign I ran. For some reason I decided to give Cap'n Crunch levels as an assassin. Tony the Tiger was a rakshasa, and Dig 'Em was an intelligent froghemoth.
You know, the easy response to this would be "You should have dated more in high school." Except I did. I think I just needed a therapist.
In high school, strangely inspired by Dungeonland, I made evil versions of cereal mascots to use as the villains in the first campaign I ran. For some reason I decided to give Cap'n Crunch levels as an assassin. Tony the Tiger was a rakshasa, and Dig 'Em was an intelligent froghemoth.
I ran a Adventure back in highschool that centered on Narnia and me stealing several cool ideas from the Beatles Albums Magic mystery Tour,Sgt.Peppers and The white Album, we played that whole adventure in 22 hours! Lucy in the sky with Diamonds was a Nighthag with some killer eyewear!
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I'm surprised you didn't grow up to be a cereal killer.
Have you seen this guy lately?
...How do you know I haven't?
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I could be confused and thinking of Charlie's Angels too. The seventies were a blur, man.
I'm going to go back to blaming the cereal. I think growing up on a steady diet of breakfast foods which arrogantly used the word "Sugar" in their names, coupled with hours of lobotomizing live-action Saturday morning fare presented by the Kroftt brothers or cartoons featuring the voice talents of Casey Kasem and Scatman Crothers, is more than enough to cause the insanity of an entire generation.
In high school, strangely inspired by Dungeonland, I made evil versions of cereal mascots to use as the villains in the first campaign I ran. For some reason I decided to give Cap'n Crunch levels as an assassin. Tony the Tiger was a rakshasa, and Dig 'Em was an intelligent froghemoth.
Under the same inspiration, I did something quite similar with The Wizard of Oz. A village of halflings under a mass charm spell from the witch; treants that throw apples; a medium-sized iron (tin) golem; a werelion assassin... well, you get the picture.
cartoons featuring the voice talents of Casey Kasem and Scatman Crothers
My memory is spotty; is that... "Hong Kong Fooey"? My favorite childhood cartoon (after the one with the Legion of Doom, of course)!
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Under the same inspiration, I did something quite similar with The Wizard of Oz. A village of halflings under a mass charm spell from the witch; treants that throw apples; a medium-sized iron (tin) golem; a werelion assassin... well, you get the picture.
What was the thing with making these otherwise benign, lovable characters into professional killers?
D&D in the early Eighties wasn't a game for Satanists. It was a game for budding sociopaths.
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cartoons featuring the voice talents of Casey Kasem and Scatman CrothersMy memory is spotty; is that... "Hong Kong Fooey"? My favorite childhood cartoon (after the one with the Legion of Doom, of course)!
If we wanted both of them? I think it would have to would have to be Transformers (Kasem as Teletraan I, Cliffjumper, et al., and Crothers as Jazz). I had in mind Superfriends (Kasem as Robin) and The Super Globetrotters (Crothers as "Aquaman"). Don't get me wrong- I loved (still love) both series, but they were garbage, and reruns of either cause permanent IQ damage.
Hong Kong Phooey though? Gold.
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In high school, strangely inspired by Dungeonland, I made evil versions of cereal mascots to use as the villains in the first campaign I ran. For some reason I decided to give Cap'n Crunch levels as an assassin. Tony the Tiger was a rakshasa, and Dig 'Em was an intelligent froghemoth.Under the same inspiration, I did something quite similar with The Wizard of Oz. A village of halflings under a mass charm spell from the witch; treants that throw apples; a medium-sized iron (tin) golem; a werelion assassin... well, you get the picture.
I statted up the guys from Scooby Doo for Rifts. One of the p.c.'s was a devil-shaped mutant, made that way by the Coalition, so the Scooby Doo guys were gonna be after him.
The sad thing was, I was in my mid-twenties.|
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I statted up the guys from Scooby Doo for Rifts. One of the p.c.'s was a devil-shaped mutant, made that way by the Coalition, so the Scooby Doo guys were gonna be after him.
The sad thing was, I was in my mid-twenties.
A few years ago I was going to get rid of a bunch of old RPGs that I knew would never be used again. One of them was Palladium's _Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles & Other Strangeness_. I decided to take one last crack at making PCs for it, so I made mutant heroes out of all the pets I'd owned in the last ten years- a dog, a cat, an iguana, and to represent the various things I had living in aquariums over the years, I think there was a fish and a frog.
I was probably twenty-eight or twenty-nine at the time. Don't feel bad.
4e will also bring household pets to the gaming table! Short a player? now Fluffy the cat,Rex the dog or George the goldfish can fill the vacancy!4e is gonna be great!
Yes, but George will be limited to 7th level. Racial maximum levels and all.
Mermen are now the only available PC race. And they have to be carted around in rickshaws.
You can now throw 48 orcs 4 hill giants and a vampire beholder lich at a 1st level party!4e is gonna be great!
Great 4e News is coming!
Molemen are in the Monster Manual!
And you can have the Tarrasque as an animal companion*. They are changing a lot in 4th edition.
*You know, I just made that up.
--KC, Master Rumor Spreader
el_skootro wrote:
I heard that 4e can live for up to 18 months with its head cut off
El Skootro
I thought that was cruel. I saw an interview on that on a video called 'The Natural History of the Chicken'. It was an interesting video, but I think it's pretty cruel to keep a chicken in such a sad existence.
--KC, Master Chicken lawyer
--KC, Master Chicken lawyer
a chicken lizard with teeth
Based on extecnsive market research, the new core classes will include Ninja, Noble, and Jedi. Core races will include monkey and catgirl. This will satisfy the massive number of potential players that don't actually like fantasy games and want a setting that reminds them of favorite movies and cartoons.
4e is gonna be GREAT!
You'll be able to be 4e content and miniatures at the check out endcaps at Wal-mart!4e is gonna be great!
You'll be able to buy 4e content and miniatures at the check out endcaps at Wal-mart!4e is gonna be great!