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Hehe, you know the hobbit is going to bite it first.I like to think that somewhere up in heaven Howard, Lieber, and Tolkien are waiting for you, their characters already drawn up.Let's just hope they've got a few spares rolled up. You *know* their characters are going down without a save within the first few rooms.
I dunno, Tolkien seemed to be more obsessive over his elves... My bet is on Lieber lasting the longest, though.
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I don't know, his elves really never seemed that interesting to me, other characters, like Gandalf, Strider, and even Gimli seemed far more interesting then Elrond or Legolas, and the hobbits, they all got way more written about them. I think Tolkien would totally go hobbit. I'm completely in agreement about Leiber going the distance though. Howard would have the most kills and his character would have the best death I imagine.
I dunno, Tolkien seemed to be more obsessive over his elves... My bet is on Lieber lasting the longest, though.
I dunno; he put an absurd amount of effort into the Past Glories of the Elves and their language/culture/etc. His Infamous BBEG was originally an elf, IIRC, and they generally accomplished wonders and glories that none of the other races have even gotten close to.
Then again, he did write an entire book about one hobbit, and then dedicated a trilogy to a few others basically being the absurdly unlikely heroes...
I concede the point. Tolkien probably *would* be a hobbit.
The events of the last few days were traumatic. It’s behind us now. We all still live, that’s important, but I doubt that some of us will ever be the same again. Urol in particular . . .
This nightmare began shortly after we found the ruins, we spent some time questioning the zombie, but it knew little and Kale seemed anxious to destroy the thing. I can’t say I blamed him but I’m sure it was a pointless gesture.
When it became apparent that we weren’t going to travel further I attempted to cast my shelter spell . . . but it failed. I knew something unusual had happened but it wasn’t until much later I put the pieces together. At the time I guessed it had something to do with the nature of this place. We were forced to make do without the shelter. Churtle saw to a fire and supper. The others saw to the defenses. We thought the partial walls of the ruins would add to our defenses . . . we didn’t know what we were dealing with.
I was writing in my journal when the shouts of alarm came. I scarcely reached the part where the zombie spoke of his master when the beast should appear! There were three of them, one large male and two slightly smaller females, and at first I thought they were giant orangutans. They were massive beasts, standing about my height, but with massive muscles and bulk. They also had huge razor sharp claws and tusks, and I couldn’t see it at the time, but I also knew that they had six fingers and six toes on each of their hands and feet. The fiends are known as Bar-Lgura and after I identified the beasts I had little doubt that they’d been responsible for the torment we’d suffered thus far on the island. I tossed my journal aside and moved to cast.
The battle was quick but indecisive. For the most part my magic was ineffectual, my magic missiles failed to breach their spell resistance, and our warriors couldn’t seem to harm the filthy demons with their weapons.
“Is this the best you got,” laughed the largest of the three, “You’re all pathetic and weak. I’m going to tear your flesh and eat your bones!”
He spoke in common, clearly intending to send fear though the group, and as Fredrick, Orlani, James, Kiki, and Buffy slashed away at the thing to little effect, I think to some extent it was working. The beast was able to harmlessly dance through our forces and attack whomever he wanted with little retaliation on our part. Kale was only just able to pierce the beast’s unnatural hide but even he was dealing scant damage . . . when he was able to hit at all.
“I’m going to crush your bones and suck out the marrow!” the fiend laughed.
“Here,” I snapped as I sent an orb of cold straight at him, “suck on this!” The smile was wiped off his face in an instant as I was able to deal the first amount of serious damage to him. Had I been thinking clearly I would have enhanced the damage with my metamagic somehow.
“Rugna, Othimix,” He shouted to his companions in Abyssal, “Enough games, back to the lair to prepare the sacrifice!”
Suddenly the great demon ape charged straight at me! He turned suddenly at the last moment and snatched up Churtle while one of the others snatched up Urol and the other tried to grab Tavey. Of the three only Tavey was able to avoid capture, and then, to our horror, the three teleported away!
“Where’d they go?” asked Kale.
The others quickly began fanning out to try to locate our missing companions but it was a futile effort.
‘You must tell them,’ Hop-Toy grumbled, ‘they don’t know the threat they’re dealing with.’
I was still caught up on the monster’s last words, ‘sacrifice’ he’d said. Fear ran though my body, not for myself, but for my small kobold companion. She had been one of my most loyal and steadfast companions and I hadn’t been able to protect her from the beast . . .
‘Tristan!’ Hop-Toy snapped, ‘the others need you now! Focus on what you can achieve!’
I turned to the others. If I was going to save Churtle I’d need all the help I could get. We needed to save Urol as well, the gnome was annoying at times, but he’d been a loyal companion. No creature should suffer at the claws of those inhuman beasts regardless of their loyalty however, and I’d rush to the rescue of anyone captured by the beasts . . . including Avner.
“They teleported,” I said loud enough for the others to hear, “they could be anywhere on the island, anywhere within nine hundred miles from here really, but I’ll assume that they only attacked when we drew near their home. We have to get our things together and try to find this base as quickly as possible. The last thing that monster said was they needed to ‘prepare for the sacrifice’! We need to move now!”
The others didn’t argue. We quickly packed up our belongings and set off at a good pace away from the ruins. We had no real idea which way to go so we simply moved into the jungle on the opposite side of the ruins. It was starting to get dark when we spotted a set of ruins in the distance. They looked familiar, and as we got closer we discovered that it was the exact same set of ruins we had just left! There was cursing and yelling but despite our in-fighting we found that there was nobody to blame. We decided to try again, this time setting out into the wilderness from a different direction. Tears of frustration began welling up in my eyes as we spotted that same set of ruins in the distance. We decided to camp as we were all bone tiered by this point. I fought back tears as I lay down to sleep. Churtle had already been in the clutches of those fiends for far too long.
The night seemed to take forever to pass. I must have nodded off eventually because I woke feeling a bit groggy but otherwise refreshed. The others looked horrible. James and Orlani looked particularly haunted.
“What happened to you?” I asked Orlani as she shakily climbed to her feet.
“Bad nightmares,” she mumbled.
“You had nightmares as well?” James asked, sitting up beside his girl.
“Yes,” Orlani said with a slight shiver, “I was in this horrible jungle . . .”
“Me too,” James exclaimed. There were other nods and words of agreement around the camp. It wasn’t surprising that this jungle was starting to get to people. We’d spent a day in it so far and it hadn’t been pleasant, and that was before we were attacked and our friends had been abducted. Then there had been the stumbling around afterwards. The jungle had bugs, strange noises, and the trees impaired our vision. The fog reduced that visibility even further. Knowing that there were demons somewhere out in that fog didn’t help. To assume that all these fears transferred over to everyone’s subconscious would have been a long shot at best, people don’t regularly dream, and it’s rare to have similar dreams. Yet everyone seemed to share similar aspects . . . even my unusual dreams had started in the jungle! This had to be a trait of this fog covered jungle, another dimension was bleeding into it, and that dimension in turn was bleeding into our dreams.
“What about you Tristan,” Amella had asked me, “Did you have any nightmares?”
“No worse than usual,” I said with a shrug. It was true, I’d had some pretty vividly frightening dreams over the years, and last night’s was only about average. “What about you?” I asked Amella.
“I’d rather not talk about it,” she grumbled.
“What could cause something like this?” Buffy asked nobody in particular.
“I’d wager that this is more likely some sort of planar drifting,” I said without thinking, “it likely explains the shifting landscape and the unusual wildlife. We’re most likely we’re seeing things not entirely of this word, shadows really, but potentially deadly none the less. The only real question is what’s causing this anomaly?”
I knew the others were looking at me but it couldn’t be helped. I didn’t know any more. I couldn’t even tell them whether to be cautious or not, then again, I realized, it really didn’t matter. It was always far better to be cautious in this situation. We knew some of the inhabitants of this fog world were deadly there was absolutely no reason to trust anything else we came across either.
“We should try leaving the way we came in,” I said as I finished with my spell book, “Sometimes pocket dimensions don’t follow the regular laws of time, direction, and space. If we leave opposite the way we came in we might find ourselves in a new location.”
There was a bit of grumbling but when I started off they were quick to follow. Churtle and Urol had been in their clutches for almost half a day, that was far too long, and I wouldn’t allow them to be in their grasp for one moment longer. I’d rescue them if it was the last thing I did.
For a few hours I really felt I was making progress, I thought we traveled further then we had in the past, but sadly we found ourselves walking back towards the ruins. I felt my heart drop. I thought for a moment I might start crying, I felt sorrow and frustration . . . but my emotions had been easier to check as of late. Instead breaking down I just felt empty inside.
“There has to be something I’m missing,” I mumbled, “Something I’ve over looked . . .”
“We didn’t try to the north,” Buffy said, “maybe that’s the direction we need to take?”
It couldn’t have been that simple (but it was). At the time I was out of ideas and was willing to try anything. It seems funny when you think about it, all my education and learning, and I was as useless as Kale. Seems this pocket dimension follows no discernible rules or logic. Perhaps this is what the visage meant about me thinking with my brain . . .
We trudged through the jungle again, everything looked similar to me, and I half expected to stumble across the same ruins at any moment. I practically sighed with relief when I saw the two leering baboon heads carved into the rock in the distance. As we drew closer we could make out the vague outlines of great wall of rock behind. I could sense fear in the others as we drew close . . . something unspeakable emanated from those horrible heads. I knew our companions would go no further.
“Tristan,” Amella said with a shaking voice, “I . . .”
“Amella,” I interrupted, cutting her off before she was forced to ask to stay behind, “you Avner and Tavey wait here. Stay out of sight and watch this path. We’re going to leave the food and water with you. Try to ration it. If we don’t . . .”
“If you don’t return before nightfall we’ll make due,” Amella said cutting me off, “If you’re not back in 24 hours we’ll try to . . .”
“Bah!” I scoffed, “This beast won’t take that long, but yes keep those plans in mind. We’re not going to let them hurt anyone else.”
“Save Churtle,” Amella said, the gleam of tears in her eyes, “save that ridiculous gnome as well.”
“No worries Amella,” I said, “it’s the demon what should be worried, for there are no more fearsome beasts on this island then the former crew of the Sea Wyvern, and when we find that beast we’re going to rip him limb from limb.”
Amella smiled and nodded. I felt the venom creep into my words. I meant what I had said. I knew the hatred and cruelty that churned in my Suloise blood would demand swift brutal justice, and my mind knew that these creatures probably couldn’t be reasoned with, but some small part of me still hoped for something . . . a peaceful resolution? Probably not, but something. Amella, Avner, and Tavey moved into the brush and hid. The rest of us turned to the great baboon heads.
“What are they?” I heard Kale ask.
I regarded the carvings. My knowledge of primates was limited but something tickled the back of my brain. Did baboons really have teeth that large? What of the sinister or malevolent look to the eyes? They didn’t carve statues like this for ordinary animals . . . perhaps they were some kind of Oman gods?
‘Perhaps,’ croaked Hop-Toy, “they were meant to represent one terrible beast or demon? Remember what the spider lady said, “four eyes have gazed upon you and their servant seeks you out”’
I felt a shiver run through me as I turned to the others.
“After consulting with Hop-Toy I think this horrible visage is meant to represent Demigorgon,” I waited for the gasps.
“Tristan,” Kale grumbled, “please don’t say after consulting with your toad . . .”
“Why not?” I snapped.
‘Ya, you ignorant mammal, why not,’ Hop-Toy croaked.
“It just bothers me alright?”
‘Well your ignorance and intolerance bother us,’ retorted Hop-Toy, ‘and if you want to show us that you’re a complete dick please continue to ignore me and act condescending to Tristan.”
I looked to Hop-Toy then back to Kale. He just sort of shook his head and rolled his eyes.
‘Dick’ Hop-Toy snapped.
“Exactly,” I said agreeing with my toad.
We moved forward towards the heads. If the others knew who Demigorgon was they made no sign. This was one of the most powerful demon lords in the entire universe and my friends likely had no idea who he was. Perhaps it was better that they didn’t know who he was. The prince of demons was said to be a terrifying force, perhaps the others might less inclined to enter if they knew what they faced. Then again, perhaps not, people think I’m crazy but sometimes I think my companions are insane.
“Let me scout ahead,” Kiki said. We watched her carefully inspect one great baboon head then the other. The mouth of each beast had a tunnel leading deeper inside. Neither appeared connected . . . at least as far as we could see. Kiki chose a corridor and walked down it.
“Carful,” I said as we rushed to catch up, but my words were cut off by the rumble of a rock slide! The ceiling just seemed to give way. A mountain of rock seemed to fall on our little companion. I think I might have screamed. Those in the lead barely escaped being buried as well. When the dust settled there was a wall of rock where our friend was only moments earlier. There was a moment of panic, and then we all rushed forward and started desperately digging at the stone with our hands. I found I was little use moving the rock but my spells greatly aided our efforts. I increased Kale’s size, this increased his strength, the amount he could lift, and the actual amount he could carry. Kale formed the backbone of our excavation team.
We had to hurry; suffocation was a real concern, especially in these loose rock slides. In building collapses or even partial mine collapses there were often pockets of air and survivors were pulled from the rubble days and sometimes even a full week after the initial disaster, but with mud slides and loose rockslides like this, there weren’t any pockets of air. People might survive the initial disaster, they’ve pulled people out of mudslides that didn’t have a scratch on them, but without air a person’s survivability is measured in minutes rather than days. Thankfully we moved quickly. After a few seconds of digging we could hear Kiki’s voice.
“I’m over here,” she coughed, “help me, I can barely breath.”
We pulled Kiki from the rubble. She was white as a ghost from the rock dust and coughing profusely but she had somehow managed to avoid being crushed by the rubble. We were lucky. Kiki was lucky. This terrible experience only cost us a few moments of panic and frantic digging for Kiki was right as rain after a few moments. We decided to try the other entrance rather than risk another collapse.
The other tunnel seemed structurally sound. We traveled down it slowly and carefully. Towards the end of the tunnel Kiki let out a gasp, I quickly covered my head, but it was something she’d spotted on the wall that caused her reaction. A small gnome sized bloody hand print marked the floor near the east wall. It seemed likely that Urol had been here. We choose to follow the east wall (just in case it was a message from Urol that that passage led to a dead end. Literally. A skeleton lay amongst rusted manacles, it’s bones yellow with age, and grim message left as a reminder to the horrors of this place:
“No way out. The jungle is pain and suffering. Maybe it will end soon and the spirit of the hawk will take me aloft and take me from this accursed place. I beg him to take me away before I’m dragged to the altar of the two-faced one. There is no way out.”
There were a few more scrawled words but I choose to ignore them, they were likely written after desperation took hold, and thus were an incoherent mess. I couldn’t imagine such an unpleasant death, alone, chained to a wall, in the dark, perhaps starving . . . I couldn’t help but shudder.
We kept to the east wall. We discovered that it connected to the back end of the collapsed tunnel. We watched the ceilings as we advanced in case there was a danger of further collapse. Thankfully everything seemed safe. Further along the tunnel we discovered Urol and Churtle’s belonging strewn about the floor of the tunnel. It appeared as if the beasts had simply ripped all their belongings from them. I quickly collected everything we came across and put it in my haversack. I did it not only out of necessity, but also to remind myself that my friends would need these things again. This was a rescue not a recovery.
The rough stone cavern soon turned to smooth carved stone. Ahead a vile set of doors, depicting humans being tormented by demons, which was flanked by a pair of ginning monkey heads, their tongues dripping blood which vanished a few inches before the floor. The statues had writing hidden and intertwined within their gruesome faces, Kiki pointed them out to me, and I translated for her and the others. The statue to the right said ‘give of the right’, the statue to the left said ‘give of the left’, and each of the doors had a demon with a large barbed tongue that could serve as a handle for a door.
“What does it mean?” Fredrick asked, reaching for the doors, “we just grab the handles and turn?”
“Wait,” I warned the others, “The left entrance was trapped; perhaps the right door is also trapped.”
“Good point,” Fredrick said, gingerly reaching for the left door handle, “let’s try the left.”
Fredrick let out a yelp of pain. He pulled back his hand, the tongue had cut his hand, but it had failed to open. Kale grabbed hold of right and tried to turn the handle, but this door also failed to budge, and he too pulled his hand back bloodied. There was a bit of cursing as our tension and frustration boiled over. There was some talk of busting the door down but we all eventually agreed that this might alert the demons to our presence. Kale put on a pair of gauntlets and tried both handles but nothing happened.
“Perhaps we’re over thinking this thing . . .” I muttered.
Kale pulled off the gauntlets and turned the handles. The doors opened.
“Quit thinking with your brain . . .” I whispered under Kale’s cursing.
The doors opened into a kind of blood stained throne room, there were two thrones on opposite sides of the room, two mirrors flanking a bloodstained alter, and two candles on the altar. There was no other exit. It appeared to be a dead end. We carefully searched every inch of the room and discovered no other secrets or traps . . . it was only after detecting for magic that we noticed that the objects in the room were magical in nature . . . what followed was the most excruciatingly painful hour of my life . . . as we tried solution after solution to advance to the next chamber. We lit candles, avoided explosions, caused thrones to bleed, and at one point we were even forced to fight with a savage version of Kiki! The entire time I worried about my friends. The entire time I worried about what that fiend might be doing to them. I told myself that we would solve this . . . that we would save our friends . . . but I will confess . . . I felt despair creeping into my bones.
Then, to everyone’s amazement, Kiki (who had returned to normal by this point) solved the puzzle! Two swirling vortexes appeared where the mirrors had recently been. We all tried to move through the mirrors but the sinister magic that ran this place would only allow one person through each of the mirrors every five or six seconds. There being seven of us, I knew one of us would need to be last, and so I summoned a companion to ensure that I wouldn’t find myself alone and ripe for an ambush.
When my turn came I discovered that the ambush had already occurred – but it was in the strange caves on the other side of the mirror! My companions were embattled with three Bar-Lguras! It took me less than a moment to assess the situation and then I cast a haste spell to add to our offence. Buffy cast a spell that imbued all of our weapons with holy energy. Suddenly the tables were turned on our demonic enemies. One of them was dropped in the ensuing rain of blades. The other two realized that they couldn’t go toe to toe with us any longer, one snatched Kiki, and the other grabbed James and then they both teleported away. This time, thankfully, they didn’t have a secret base to teleport too – because we were in it! We could see the monsters reappear high upon stone balconies in the rough cave roof. Fredrick didn’t waste a moment: he jumped onto my psudonatural hippogriff and tried to point it toward the balcony with Kiki and her abductor.
“High-ho gruesome away,” he called.
I quickly ordered the beast not to eat him, and instead to carry him up to the balcony and aid him in attacking the sinister ape. The monster carried out my wishes. I knew Fredrick, Kiki, and the monster would make short work of the fiend and my attention turned to aiding James, he was fighting a demon alone, and although he was a fairly competent fighter, he, like others in the group, excelled at flanking. I worried how he might fair in a one on one fight. Kale, Buffy, Orlani, and I desperately searched for way up to the second balcony to aid James.
“I found a door!” Kale shouted.
I was holding the light (my ever burning torch) and I spotted the door around the same time he did. “Wait,” I shouted, as Kale reached for the door, “Maybe it’s trapped. We won’t do James any good if we’re killed trying to help him!” Kale stopped, “Orlani Take a look at this!”
Orlani quickly looked over the door. “Looks safe . . .”
Suddenly the door opened. James, coved in blood and claw and bite marks, emerged from the other side.
“You should see the other guy,” James said in response to our surprised stares.
“Is James alright?” Kiki called down from the other ledge.
“Hey Tristan,” Fredrick hollered over Kiki, “tell this thing to fly us down.”
Three Bar-Lguras were dead but there was still no sign of Churtle or Urol. As I examined the dead demons I felt a pounding in my head <he’s not here,> it seemed to say, <the great ape isn’t here>. I looked around the cave: the place was bathed in a strange red light, a massive pool of blood lay in the center of the cave, there were two doors on the ground level of the cavern (one led to the ledge were James had been abducted too), and there were two doors leading off of each of the ledges. The strange red light seemed to filter down from the ledge James had had been on. We decided to test the door on the ground level first. When we discovered that it was locked we thought we might have discovered something, but Kiki reported that it wasn’t a particularly high quality lock, and soon enough we opened the door and made a grim discovery: the floor of this narrow dead end tunnel was strewn with bones and waste. I was happy to note that there weren’t any gnome or kobold skulls amongst the waste. There was a grate in the ceiling.
We sent Orlani up to tie a rope to the far ledge. We figured we’d explore the more inaccessible area first. After a few moments Orlani threw down a rope. The other carefully climbed up while I activated my fly spell (extending it through my metamagic rod). Kiki approached the door and quietly checked it for traps and then opened it and took a peek in . . . she returned with her face white as a ghost.
“Baboons,” she whispered, “the whole room is filled with baboons.”
“Everyone wait here,” I whispered, “and get ready to attack, I’m going to blast these things, and we’ll finish them off when they try to surge through this doorway.”
I flew along the roof of the chamber. I carefully opened the door and looked into the room. Kiki had been right, baboons, dozens of them, and they didn’t look natural. They were probably natives of this plane and judging from their sharp claws and small horns I was willing to bet that they were fiendish in nature. I prepared my spell . . . but as the words neared my lips a few of the beasts spotted me and in a heartbeat they were all screaming and charging on mass. I let loose with my spell, landing a fireball square into their mass, but I recoiled in horror when less than half of them dropped! I fled with the fiendish simians in hot pursuit.
Outside my friends swatted at the beasts as the erupted through the door, but there were too many of them, and they just swarmed over them in waves. The Baboons punched, kicked, and bit anything they encountered, and I watched in horror as the primates pulled Fredrick down and pummeled him mercilessly. Orlani, Kiki, and Buffy retreated to the far edge of the balcony while Kale and James pulled themselves free and turned to hack at the mob once more but the baboons kept coming. James was pulled down next while the others simply climbed over kale (kicking and punching him in the process). Things looked desperate. I’d sorely underestimated these animals, and for a moment I thought my friends were going to pay for that mistake . . . then an angle caught my eye. Fredrick was on the ground near the door, the others backed away from the ledge, the remaining mass of animals excited on either side of the doorway, with the majority moving towards us. I launched my last fireball over the baboons and into the room. The resulting blast expanded out onto the ledge but not far enough to hit James or Kale, and Fredrick was protected by the angle of the blast and the door frame. Suddenly the beasts were scattered and broken. A few moments later the mop up operation was complete and the baboon horde was scattered and defeated. James was able to stand and Fredrick was back on his feet with the help of Buffy’s healing.
We explored the baboon room. The smell was almost indescribable: the smell of wet fur, mixed with the reek of ammonia and excrement, and the horrible hint of sulfur permeated the room, to that disgusting mix was the smell of burnt hair and flesh was added. I covered my face. It took all of my will power to avoid gagging. The Baboons had been housed in a kind of throne room. At first glance the room appeared empty (save for that horrible haunting stench and the stone throne) but Kiki’s nimble eyes spotted scrapes on the floor near the throne. After some experimenting we resorted to brute strength to pull the throne away from the wall. Kiki darted behind the thrown to investigate.
“There’s a couple of chests back here!” she shouted out to us.
“Well be careful and check them . . .” a sudden explosion and blast of flame erupting from around the throne cut my words off.
“It’s ok,” Kiki shouted, “I’m alright. And I found a trap! I’m checking the other one now!”
We all inadvertently took a step back.
“Kiki are you ok?” I asked after a few moments of silence.
“It’s safe,” Kiki reported, “just trying to unlock it now.” There was another nervous moment or two, then we heard Kiki’s happy reply, “Holy coin!” she shouted, “Hey Tristan, we’re going to need your haversack for all this!”
The chest contained a fair amount of coin, a small shield, a wand, and a mysterious fist (which looked like a monkey paw that you find in those curios shops). I really didn’t feel right stuffing my pockets full of coins while our friends needed us, but things could go awry in the rescue process, and we might not get a chance to return to this room later. After we’d thoroughly searched this area we returned to the balcony and climbed down the rope and moved up to the other balcony.
The door opened to a room strewn with bones. Death and decay seemed to be everywhere in this temple . . . I was sick of it. Orcus would have been proud to call this temple home. Something stirred within. A skeletal snakelike creature emerged from the bone pile. Any illusions we had of civility or negotiation were immediately dismissed as the creature launched a lightning bolt strait through our group, everyone (except me) was lined for the blast. Everyone (except poor Buffy) was able avoid the damage however and everyone (except me) charged into the room. The creature attempted to charm James. Amazingly one of our notoriously week willed front line succeeded in resisting the charm. I summoned a dog like creature to aid in the fight. Inside my companions quickly discovered that this creature wasn’t as it seemed, swords passed through the bone visage and impacted on flesh, and soon the white bones that were strewn about the floor were covered in fresh blood. It had been an illusion. It hadn’t helped our opponent any though, and soon it lay lifeless amongst the bones it had undoubtedly played a part in collecting. I was happy to find there were no kobold bones anywhere on the floor.
We were in sorry shape but we moved towards the next set of doors. Churtle and Urol had to be in this maze somewhere. In the next room we found two statues flanking another door with sinister demonic motifs on it. The doors were locked, beyond Kiki’s skill to open, and not even my knock spell could force them. We did notice that the two statues flanking the doorway (more demonic looking primate statues) were both missing a hand. By chance I’d kept the iron paw we found earlier and I pulled it from my haversack and was surprised to find that it fit one of the statues nearly perfectly. Could this mean that there was another somewhere in the complex? The only room that we hadn’t completely searched was bone room. We decided to search it completely from top to bottom just in case.
Amongst the bones we soon discovered a few magic items, including a hammer (which James grabbed) and a potion that I was able to identify as a potion of haste. Suddenly Buffy, James, and I were pelted with hail and ice cold winds. I didn’t need to look to realize that sudden ice storm had come from the fountain that Kiki had been examining!
“Kiki,” I snapped through the rage and the pain, “what did you do?!”
Kiki looked like a kid with her hand caught in the cookie jar. Perhaps I’d hurt her feelings by yelling at her, but at that point I didn’t care. Two of our friends were desperately in need of rescue and she was complicating things by being careless.
To make matters worse, James, who hadn’t received much healing up to this point collapsed under the stinging and welting hail. Buffy used the last of her healing to save James and heal most of us back to a less battered state. I was low on spells as well. In an odd twist the fountain that Kiki had been fooling with did hold the last piece to our puzzle, another monkey paw, as well as a strange copper rod in the shape of a bone. We were left with a decision, advance and hope for the best with low magic, or retreat and hope that our friends held out for another day. It was a horrible choice to make.
In the end I gambled on something that was close to middle ground. On the balcony I cast my secure shelter and we all retreated to there. I had the other take turns at watch while Buffy and I tried to rest our minds . . . naturally I couldn’t sleep, but I spent the time clearing my mind and preparing it to absorb my partially prepared spells. Some of the others, like James and Orlani, tried to sleep but were punished with more terrifying dreams.
Much to my amazement nothing happened in our downtime. The lord of this domain, the talking fiend, the great ape, he must have been pre-occupied elsewhere. His inattentiveness would be his undoing. I dismissed the shelter and we advanced on the room with the twin statues, we placed the final piece in place, and the doors swung open. In front of us stood a long corridor, more monkey statues lined the hall, and a set of doors (identical to the ones we’d just opened) waited for us at the far end. We advanced cautiously down the hall . . . suddenly the statues closest to us started howling! With the element of surprise gone we strode down the hall and prepared to bash or force the doors. I used my haste spell on my companions, Buffy aligned their weapons, I cast fly on myself while Buffy continued aligning their weapons (we have a lot of weapons), and then summoned my most powerful beast to spearhead the assault (a great wolf like creature that was as big as a horse). I flew to the roof as the other kicked in the door and surged into the room! Inside was a massive temple complex. At one end stood a large statue of Demigorgon, four demonic ape statues stood along the sides of the temple, and a great fire pit stood in the centre. Two small naked forms hung over the pit . . . Churtle and Urol were in rough shape, but they were alive. There was no sign of our adversary anywhere.
To our horror Churtle and Urol started to slowly decend into the fire pit! I sent my beast charging into the room, my companions in hot pursuit, and I prepared to fly over and use my D-door spell to transport our friends to safety, but things wouldn’t be that easy. Things happened very quickly after that point, my summons suddenly disappeared, dispelled I’d soon discoverer, a Bar-Lguras appeared further into the room, and my fly spell suddenly ended and I floated towards the ground. I was confused. I briefly considered my next move as I watched my companions attack the lone demon in the temple.
“You didn’t think it was going to be that easy?” asked the great ape from behind me.
I turned casting my cold orb, adding everything I could to it, and launched it at my adversary. The demon looked surprised, as if it expected me to collapse in terror or something, and seemed surprised to find me not only resisting but attacking! The orb whistled past the great ape’s ear and caused the stone to splinter on the wall behind him. The demon’s shock was gone in an instant as was my most powerful magic. It smiled. I ran.
It probably thought me a coward. That was fine. I hoped it did. I had one hope at this point: and that was to lead this beast away from my friends to allow them the opportunity to concentrate on the lone Bar-Lguras and rescuing Churtle and Urol. I dashed down the hallway, away from my companions, and (thanks to my still active haste spell) into the chamber with the monkey paws. I saw him just over my shoulder happily giving chase, his arm extended, and nearly reaching my blood stained cape. I slowed as I crossed into the bone room (as to give him the illusion that he could catch me in a foot race) but when I turned to see where he was I discovered that he’d stopped.
“Come and get me you stupid demon!” I yelled, trying to taunt him, “I’m all helpless and weak!”
I saw his face twist in rage but instead of chasing me further he simply teleported away. I spun around, half expecting him to be behind me, or trying to cut me off, but he was nowhere to be seen. I ran back to the temple, easily clearing the distance in seconds, and discovered the fiend had indeed returned to attack my friends. My gambit had paid off though, Kiki had managed to figure out and halt the mechanism lowering our friends into the pit, and I returned in time to witness the second last Bar-Lguras drop.
Only the great ape remained. I tried blasting him with my magic but most of my spells unraveled when the touched his body. The fiend tried to jump from opponent to opponent, clearly he preferred to skirmish, but he lacked the speed to maintain separation. My companions swarmed and flanked him time and time again.
“You’re going to die you damn dirty ape,” I growled as another spell harmlessly flowed over him.
“What are you going to do bleed on me?” he laughed as he slashed at Kale and pulled himself free from another swarm, “maybe run some more?”
“No you filthy monster,” I said with nothing but calm cold certain rage in my voice that even scared me a little, “I’m going to kill you and eat your brains.”
He looked at me, perhaps a little stunned; I was clearly not the opponent he thought I was.
“All right monkey,” James yelled from the dais next, “not another move or the tentacle chicken gets it!”
James was holding the hammer we’d found in the bone room with two hands and he was clearly threatening to smash the statue of Demigorgon. The ape turned from me and snarled at James.
“You stupid biped,” it growled, “I’m going to strangle you with your own intestines.”
The demon tried to charge James . . . but this time he failed to escape our mob. He fell under a hail of swords and mace attacks.
“Do it,” I snarled running into the room towards my captured companions, “smash it to dust.”
I heard James’ hammer smash into the statue. “That’s what you get for looking so ridiculous,” James snapped, “choose an animal and stick with it!”
I glanced up at Urol and Churtle, they were well above the heat of the flames, but without my fly spell I wasn’t sure how I could get them down.
“Maybe we can use your slippers of spider climb,” I said to Kiki without really looking at her, “if I can touch them I can use my magic to instantly get them down.”
I glanced over at Kiki, she looked glum, I was about to say something else, but I was interrupted by a bone chilling howl erupted from the far end of the room. I gasped in horror. The statue of Demigorgon had come to life! James was white as a sheet, others looked horrified as well, and I don’t think it was just because we were facing a massive stone menace. That howl had to have been some sort of mind affecting magic. Fear had briefly touched my mind as well, unnatural fear, and not just sudden surprise. The golem stepped forward, swinging at James and Orlani, and threatening to advance towards our helpless friends. I summoned some beasts to throw in its way and the others surged forward to eliminate this last challenge.
Most magic was useless against constructs, but we conjurors have an advantage that most spell casters don’t, we don’t need actually need to target our opponents directly. My summons appeared next to the animated statue and attacked . . . but it failed to damage the stone goliath. The stone beast let out another howl. James and Orlani both turned to run . . . but Orlani didn’t escape the monster’s reach. I summoned more monsters, but they suffered from the same problem, they couldn’t seem to damage the thing! The creature continued to move forward, smashing anything in its way, and my summons succeeded at absorbing damage. Suddenly the golem preformed a new trick: it snatched up kale in one of its tentacle arms, and moments later, it snatched up Fredrick! Both men screamed in pain as the golem began to simultaneously crush and rot their bodies. Things were looking desperate. I suddenly remembered that crystal we’d found under parrot island. In desperation I reached into my haversack, pulled out the crystal, and smashed it onto the floor. A stone elemental rose to meet the challenge . . . but then Buffy’s mace shattered one of the golem’s legs, the thing teetered, and then toppled over and smashed into hundreds of pieces.
“Smother the fire,” I commanded the elemental. Buffy tended to Orlani and Fredrick, both teetered on the edge of death, but after Buffy tended to them she assured us that they’d make a full recovery. “Sweep the remains of that golem into the pit,” I commanded the elemental after the fire was out, “I’m going to get you down,” I called up to Churtle and Urol, “but first I’m doing something about this fire.”
When the fire was out and the hot ash had been covered by cold stone we lowered Churtle and Urol. Because their cloths had been shredded I found an old dress to wrap around Churtle and found my old blanket for Urol. They were naturally quite emotional. Urol in particular had cried and begged for help throughout the fight, and though Churtle had been particularly stoic throughout the battle, now that she was free the emotion of the experience finally hit her. I comforted Churtle the best I could.
James returned not long afterwards. He was covered in blood.
“Where were you?” I asked.
“Crushing my enemies,” James said, his face dead serious.
“How’d you get covered in blood then?” I asked.
“It’s the blood of my enemies,” he said without a hint of a smile. If I didn’t know better I might have even believed him.
“Let’s get out of here,” Kale said after he’d stripped the bodies, “we’ve saved our friends and we’ve got everything we need from him . . .” Kale said kicking the ape.
“Not everything,” I muttered, drawing my knife.
As we left the cave we were relieved to see the sun. It had been days sense we’d seen it last. The fog was gone, burned off by the sun, if only our memories of that place could be burned away as easily. As we left the caves Amella and the others rushed out to greet us.
“Is everyone alright?” Amella asked, “it the monster dead?”
“See for yourself,” I said pulling out the head. They recoiled in horror. “What?” I asked, “it’s just a head. Completely harmless,” I said grabbing the thing by the jaws, “right Mr. monkey,” I asked the lifeless head, “’you sure are right Miss Tristan,’” I said using a silly voice instead of trying to imitate the beast’s voice. For some reason this failed to put them at ease. “Churtle,” I said turning to my friend, “I hear monkey brains are a delicacy in some strange lands and they’re best served cold.”
I handed Churtle the head, and she was more than happy to get her hands on her former tormentor. “Careful,” I said, “I want to preserve the head afterwards. I think once I get it preserved I can keep knickknacks inside it, string maybe, or possibly tacks or needles.”
“Oks,” Churtle said, “as she jammed her knife into the skull just above the ear, “One order of chilled monkey brains coming up!”
I turned to the others, “anyone else want some? There should be enough for everyone.”
Strangely almost everyone passed.
“You know,” I said dipping my spoon into grayish blue matter, “monkey brains are a delicacy, and these are particularly hard to come by. I imagine this is a once in a lifetime experience . . .”
“I’ll try some,” Avner suddenly said, “some experiences are wasted on the commoners.”
Brains taste like tofu,
Cthulhu dreams
Brains taste like tofu
That ... is priceless. ^_^ I must remember this one.
“High-ho gruesome away,” he called.
This was atcully role played! Probely the single most funny thing that's been said in game to date.
Brilliant! Loved every word, and thanks for the tips and opinions on the various elements of the adventure - that'll be very handy when I end up DM-ing it :)Glad you enjoyed it Carborundum
BTW, anyone looking for options on the twin throne/ mirror room have a look at this Link
This is the thread I was talking about in my earlier post.
Yeah, I pretty much wind up blowing over or otherwise short-shrifting parts of a module/campaign I find unsatisfactory. IIRC, I resorted to short-circuiting the thing the first go 'round, though the 2nd time I've jotted a few notes down to make their try at it more interesting.
I do agree with Sir Humual - this room rather effectively disrupts the whole 'rescue operation feel' in a hurry...
Sir Humual,
I had pegged Olangru and his harem as the abductors of the many sorry Olmans the whole time - this explanation seems to have fallen victim to the editor's scissors more than anything else, imo.
I had to change the shipwreck of the Sea Wyvern for crew 2 - having Emraag capsize the ship during the storm serves to not only reinforce the '@#!! we're shipwrecked' element, it also introduces the dragon turtle to the group with an early foreshadowing of later events in the 'script'. The forced shipwreck sucks eggs I agree.
Olangru, being CE and demonic and all, is clearly a 'mess with their head before taking their heart' kind of fellow. As his role had already concluded (with adbductions) in the timeline prior to Our Heroes being shipwrecked, he's basically bored out of his skull until a shipload of paleskins show up in his turf and provide endless hours of entertainment...
I wholeheartedly concur with the 'logjam' of that mirror-puzzle - the best solution that has come up is for it to crop up at the conclusion of the temple being cleared, locking the characters inside unless they use magical means to leave the place. Not terribly difficult - unless they misread their own map...
As an aside, I wonder what the benefit of hindsight would be as applied to all 3 of the pre-Pathfinder AP's on such matters, strengthening plot cohesion, hammering out the niggling details and so on. I gather than all 3 could be theoretically (and are, at least in terms of window dressing) linked together, although doing so in a 3e 'mega-campaign' with RAW rules would prove to be utterly mind-shattering as the poor GM tasked with running such a monstrosity.
The gawds know that the earlier AP's tend to have a rough time standing up against 'splatbook cheese' characters barring - perhaps - point-buy ability score generation methods.
As an aside, I wonder what the benefit of hindsight would be as applied to all 3 of the pre-Pathfinder AP's on such matters, strengthening plot cohesion, hammering out the niggling details and so on. I gather than all 3 could be theoretically (and are, at least in terms of window dressing) linked together, although doing so in a 3e 'mega-campaign' with RAW rules would prove to be utterly mind-shattering as the poor GM tasked with running such a monstrosity.
The gawds know that the earlier AP's tend to have a rough time standing up against 'splatbook cheese' characters barring - perhaps - point-buy ability score generation methods.
Well I'm running AoWs right now and I have to say that AP is plenty deadly without having to modify it! I've had to tweak here and there of course (no pre-made adventure is going to be perfect for every group) but the Hall of Hash Reflections was almost too much for 5 PCs and 2 NPCs without any modifications!
But as too your point about hindsight: If WotC ever allowed these games to be reprinted in some kind of collection, and the editors looked for community support and feedback, I don't doubt for a second that the final product would be absolutely incredible. Some of the suggestions I've come across on these boards are just brilliant. Seeing how others have dealt with problems such as plot holes, errors, omissions, and faulty logic in their games has been a great help. I love these adventure paths but I'm glad that I'm not running them as they come out because there have been problems, but this community, and that includes the actual writers, has been a great help.
Correct, Age of Worms is rather inherently deadly as written, although it does not make significant use of 'splatbooks' asides from some choice bits from the BoVD at the latter stages as well as the earlier Complete Books. While I've not been able to sit down and spend vast amounts of time reading through the AoW PDF's I acquired 2 months or so ago, I did skim through them. Certain encounters (indeed, even whole chapters) are indeed quite harsh as written, no disagreement. From what I gather Shackled City has similar moments as well. Certain elements of the AoW are rather explicity designed to 'go with' the Worm Food articles - specifically the Wormhunter prestige class - from what I've pieced together.
If WotC ever were to commit the effort it would take (or whomever else were to take up that substantive mantle) to apply community feedback to the Adventure Paths they would be truly magnificent specimens indeed. The brave souls who avail themselves to run the AP's as they are released are the icebreakers plowing through to make the following GMs' lives a little easier as we trail behind over subsequent months or even years (as testified by the Shackled City and its current campaign journals).
I've had to tweak here and there of course (no pre-made adventure is going to be perfect for every group) but the Hall of Hash Reflections was almost too much for 5 PCs and 2 NPCs without any modifications!
To be fair that was only 4 PCs and one cohort. The last PC and cohort had to make the "rescue mission".
Fragments of the Lidu Diaries: journey south.
Kiki went missing this morning. This wasn’t the work of monsters but rather Kiki’s desire to stay out of our sight. I snapped at her yesterday and I think she’s been sulking ever sense. Kale shouted and demanded that she show herself . . . but she left subtle little hints that it wasn’t going to happen. Perhaps I’ll talk to her tonight, for now let her have her way, and Kale quickly gave up trying to order her out when he found that no one else supported him. Perhaps the others were concerned but I think some of the others may have grown tired of Kale trying to boss everyone about.
“Leave her be,” I said, “She’ll come back when she’s ready.”
“This island is dangerous,” he said, sounding annoyed, whether that was caused by Kiki’s disappearance or by my questioning his authority I couldn’t tell. “And we shouldn’t split up the party.”
“We’ve seen signs that she’s nearby, she clearly hears you, but she’s not coming out. I wonder why? She’ll return when she’s ready.”
____
The idea of teleportation has always intrigued me. Moving over vast distances in seconds and after figuring out flight and the d-door teleportation was my next big milestone. Moving across the world and then the multiverse was something I needed to do (if the dreams were true ). Plus re-supplying ourselves and the fledgling town of Farshore would be greatly aided by my discoveries. Suffice that this task was on top of my agenda for quite some time.
I’d done some the preliminary research before I left Sasserine, some of the basic calculations on the voyage over, and it’s fair to say that this walking proved to be somewhat meditative, but ultimately our battles with the Bar-Lguras proved to be the catalyst. Prior to our battles with these damn dirty apes I’d suspected that the spell might function something similar to my d-door spell, but after witnessing the beasts’ teleport time and again I was able to fit the last piece of the puzzle together.
I don’t like to brag but I think I’ve just reached the 5th spear of spell casting, three months before my 18th birthday, and at this rate I’ll be casting from the 9th spear before I’m 20! I wonder about my
contemporaries . . . had any of them enjoyed such success so soon? I wonder if I’ll soon be the most powerful mage in Sasserine. At this rate I’ll soon be running the place.
I can hardly wait to test my new spell.
With this new discovery I can say that at least some good came out of that encounter. The grey matter I consumed failed to yield any noticeable results. My cognitive skills still seem intact. Last night I enjoyed my first dreamless night senses leaving the mountain pass. If anything I’d say the demon’s brains made everything far clearer. Perhaps I should have taken Kale’s suggestion and collected more brains . . . I mean when will I ever face Bar-Lguras again?
____
“You seem strangely quite this morning,” Amella said.
“What do you mean?” I enquired.
“Normally you’re mumbling to yourself, I’d grown used to it, but I haven’t heard a peep out of you all morning.”
“I’m sure I don’t mumble that much,” I said with a frown, it was true that I did sometimes think out loud, but I didn’t think I did it all the time, “I must have normally have long stretches when I don’t do that . . .”
“Yes it’s called being asleep,” Amella laughed, “but today, not so much as a mutter. All you seem to do is stare at nothing with that stupid look on your face . . .”
“Stupid look?” I asked, thinking Amella was teasing me.
“Yea,” Amella said, suddenly imitating that horrible vacant smile the rhyming girl in my dreams had possessed. I felt a cold chill. “Quite frankly I prefer the mumbling, seems less disturbing somehow.”
“Well if I do it again tell me and I’ll stop ok?”
“Sure,” Amella sighed, she paused and surveyed the landscape, we’d been walking through the jungle in near silence for some time, and I think the tedium was starting to get to scarped tongued captain, “If you feel like talking about it might take some of the drudgery out of this journey.”
That didn’t seem likely, I wouldn’t dare burden another with my dark thoughts, but I did spend some time talking to her about our dreams and goals . . . mainly hers. Besides our mutual desires for a bath, clean cloths, and to get back to civilization, we both wanted to continue to help and support Lavinia. Amella was adamant after I brought it up.
“Do you like Lavinia?” I had asked.
“She seems like a fine lass . . .” Amella had said.
“Ya I like her too,” I’d said, “she’s really nice, smart and beautiful, I hope she’s ok . . .”
“No doubt she is,” Amella said with a slight smile, “I can’t imagine a more disastrous adventure then ours.”
“Considering the horrors we’d faced, I’d have to say we were lucky to make it this far. Our luck seemed to turn in that first storm . . . that’s when we lost sight of Lavinia . . .”
“The lady is indeed lucky,” Amella admitted, then quietly muttered: “or you and your friends are cursed.”
“Think of all we’ve face Amella,” I said with a laugh, “I too might think that the gods are against us, except we keep pulling through. If not for the second storm, if not for having everyone thrown overboard to drown, I think we would have arrived in Farshore with only four losses, three deaths and one jettison. That by all accounts is a successful journey. That storm was a catastrophe, it’s really a miracle that any of us survived, and yet here we are . . . twelve of the thirty. Less than half, true, but far, far more than zero. That’s how many the average crew would have walking to Farshore.”
“I’ve never faced such a storm before,” Amella admitted, “and I thought for sure I was going to be seeing my husband . . .”
“But we pulled through it,” I said, “thanks to your sailing and my brilliant leadership here we are a little over a day away from the Oman lands after facing down disaster after disaster.”
I had intended that bit about my leadership to have been a joke but Amella didn’t laugh with me. Instead she stared at me for the longest time, as if judging me, much like she had during our first meeting. Finally she nodded as if accepting my words. I instantly wanted to take my words back, explain to Amella that I’d been joking, but she spoke before I could interject:
“You’re a strange woman Tristan Lidu, when we stared this whole expedition I thought for sure you were crazy, and I’ll admit there were times throughout when I strongly considered cutting my losses and trying for a different ship. I thought this Lavinia was crazy for hiring you. I thought once I knew you were crazy I’d abandon ship for sure, but for some reason I didn’t and now . . . now . . . well, now I know you’re crazy. You’re the second daffiest, sea drunken, sun stroked porpoise I’d ever met. You’re only a fraction less crazy then my late husband. Laugh if you will but I see a great deal of him in you. He was the type that’d run full sails through a reef to escape authorities. The type that’s board despite being out numbered two to one. The only difference between him and you is that he knew who he was and wasn’t ashamed of it. You’ll grow into yourself Tristan. You’ll become a lady to be respected and feared but until then know that I’d sail with you again Tristan Lidu and I’ll never again doubt the wisdom of Lavinia Vanderboren. You’re crazy, but you’re crazy like a fox. I might see if this Lavinia of yours has any more work for me. She’s got a daft eye for talent, and like you said, she sure seems lucky.”
_____
Kiki slunk into the cabin well after dark. She still seemed to be sulking. Kale stood to intercept her after he spotted her entering but he halted abruptly when he came to the line I’d drawn on the floor. He wasn’t so much intent on obeying my rules so much as trying not to look like a hypocrite after rebuffing Avner’s blatant challenge to my authority. It seemed silly, Avner stepping over the line, and I couldn’t imagine what he’d hoped to accomplish, but all he managed was to look contemptible and weak . . . especially after Kale yanked him back over the line by the scruff of his neck. I was going to suggest that Avner had forgotten his gender again or something along those lines, but seeing him man handled was equally satisfying. I think everyone’s growing tiered of Avner . . . again.
Anyways it was just as well I spoke with Kiki, Kale means well I think, but he doesn’t seem to have a soft touch with these things.
“Kiki,” I said after a few minutes, “can I see you for a minute.”
The shoal Halfling swung down out of the top bunk, and then after a little prompting sat up on the bed beside me. I pulled out my journal and turned to that dreadful night under Parrot Island. I carefully read and translated the work for Kiki (leaving out the part of doubt). It seemed as though the young Halfling, deflated at the beginning of our conversation, began to swell as I read her my diary entry.
“You saved us Kiki,” I said, echoing my diary, “You’re my hero and my friend, and you’re a very crucial part of this team, and so you must know how it pains me when you act recklessly. We could lose you, I could lose you, and then where would we be? I want you to promise me Kiki, and not like before, this time for real. I need you to promise me never to do anything so reckless again. If we have the time you must take the time and do things carefully ok?”
Kiki’s eyes were moist with tears. Her hand gently touched the page I’d just finished reading from. She looked up at me, “I promise this time Tristan,” Kiki said, “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone . . .”
“There was no permanent harm done but I fear for the next time . . .”
“There won’t be a next time Tristan,” Kiki said, “I promise. I’ll never ever cut any corners from here on in. I’m gonna be the best trap detector you’d ever seen!”
“Ok Kiki,” I said with a laugh, “I’m going to hold you to your word.”
“Is there anymore stuff in that book about me?” she asked.
“Of course, there are all sorts of things,” I said closing the book with a snap, “all of our adventures and more . . .”
“Is any of it written in common?” Kiki asked, eyeing the book with sudden interest.
“Not a single word,” I said sliding my diary into my haversack, “and it’s a good thing too, because some of those entries are very juicy and of a personal nature. Some of those entries contain ideas so strange and abstract I wouldn’t even begin to know how to translate into common. I’d dread to think of what might happen if this were to fall into the wrong hands!”
Kiki continued looking at the haversack.
“Could you read me some more sometime?” she eventually asked.
“I suppose,” I said, “I’m afraid the writing’s not very good, and I think you’ve been party to all the action . . .”
“Please?” she asked. I was a little surprised that anyone would have any interest in my silly little journal but I suppose knowing your name appeared on a page would somehow make the story that much more exciting.
“Well I guess,” I sighed, “if you’re really interested. I’m sure there are better stories out there though.”
“Ya,” she said, echoing my thoughts, “but my name appears in this one!”
_____
By mid afternoon we came across a massive set of doors in a great stone wall stretching across the narrow coast:
“These are the Oman villages,” said the strangely subdued Urol, “beyond this wall is the closest thing to civilization that you can find in these parts.”
Urol had been changed by his experiences in temple of Demigorgon, he was quiet now, and no longer seemed to possess his usual fervor for life. I’d hoped that one of my companions might console him or talk to him, but this never occurred in my presence. I of course had talked with Churtle many times, the experience had been hard on her, but she seemed stronger and more confident now. Urol seemed weaker somehow and I think his days of adventuring are now behind him. It was sad to see someone broken so . . . but perhaps it was for the best, the man was a danger to himself and others at times, perhaps if he settled down his life expectancy might rise.
The wall had guards posted. Omen guards. They looked down upon us curiously as we approached the gate. Despite the colony of Farshore to the south I’m sure our kind were still an oddity to them.
“Hello . . . people, you come from Farshore or not?” the guards asked us.
“Hello, my name is Tristan Lidu,” I said, stepping forward and speaking to them in Oman, “this is my band of adventures,” I sensed Fredrick step up next to me, “and this is my interpreter Fredrick Norington,” Fredrick, who had finally picked up Oman, opened his mouth to introduce himself, but I thought I better seal the deal while I was on a roll, “now we’ve been on the road for many days, and we hope to reach the colony of Farshore, but for tonight we’d just like a place to camp and some fresh food and maybe we could do some trading? Could you open these doors and let us in?”
The two guards were surprised that I spoke their language, not well I’m sure, but well enough to be understood anyways. They quickly talked amongst themselves.
“Where did you come from,” the fat bald Oman asked.
“We came from the city of Sasserine far to the north, across the sea, and we had hoped to sail to Farshore, but our sailing ship hit a reef and nearly sank. So we were forced to walk to across the island. It’s taken us ten days to get this far and we’re quite tired and would love a safe place to stay and to eat some fresh food.”
“Just a moment,” the tall guard mutters, then, after a fair amount of shouting and grunting on the other side of the doors, one of the massive doors starts to open. The door creeks open just over four feet wide and we squeeze through, then the team of tem Oman men pull the 50 ft high wooden door closed. Why did they need doors so large was beyond me, but they’ve lived on the island all their lives, I’m sure they had a reasonable explanation.
Inside the Oman village we met the chief and the village elders, I quickly explained to the others that the Oman being a somewhat sensible people, always had women running the village, and the Tanaroans clans, being exceptionally sensible, were ruled exclusively along matriarchal lines. The woman nodded in approval as I introduced myself as the party’s leader.
“You come from the north you say?” the chief asked, “You are lucky you didn’t get trapped in the Fogmire, it is an evil place that few ever escape from . . .”
“Actually,” I said trying to speed the conversation along, “we were trapped in that fog maze for about three days . . .”
“Impossible,” the Chief snapped, “I think you are mistaken.” She seemed highly skeptical for some reason. I began digging in my haversack.
“Fog filled jungle?” I asked, “Animals and nature not normal?” the Oman nodded in agreement, “ruled by some fiendish orangutan?” Again they nodded their eyes wide with shock, “looked a bit like this,” I asked as I pulled out the severed head, “only a bit taller?” they almost all jumped with fear for some reason, making signs against evil and to their strange Oman gods, “well I got good news for you,” I said when most of the excitement had died down, “the lord of the Fogmire is dead (as are all his allies) and the fog has dissipated. I don’t think the lords going to bother you any more, are you?” I said turning to face the head.
“No I’m not,” I said trying to mimic my dead advisory as comically as I could, “I totally lost my head and picked a fight with the wrong people and now I’m roughly four feet shorter and a few hundred pounds lighter . . .” I glanced over at our hosts, who were failing to see the humor in my duologue, and were still staring at me with the hint of fear in their eyes. “I call it the Tristan weight loss D-I-E-t. What come on? The bit kills in the Abyss.”
Still nothing. Maybe Omans have a different sense of humor then we do.
“On a somewhat related topic,” I said dropping the head and allowing it to roll into the centre of the camp, “do you have a taxidermist here? I’ve recently come into the possession of a severed bar-lgura head and I’m looking to turn it into a fun conversation piece . . .”
The villagers proved to be most helpful.
_____
After a world wind tour of the Oman tribes we finally arrived at the village of Mora. From here we’ll finally complete the last leg of our journey . . . and by tomorrow morning we’ll finally arrive at our destination: Farshore. I feel anxious tonight, and not just because I’ve spent the better part of the night identifying objects and drinking that damn pearl mixture . . . which is supposed to be an aphrodisiac, but because tomorrow I’ll be reunited with Lavinia. I know she’s alive. I feel it in my bones. Tonight she sleeps just a few miles from my location . . . I’m tempted to try my teleportation spell tonight.
I wonder how she’s faired these last few weeks? I wonder what she’ll say when she hears of our adventures? Will she smile? Will she laugh? Would she cry? I hopped not, although I could imagine her feeling pity for the poor souls that drowned. I hope the sea was kinder to her then it was to us. After the hardship she’s faced it wouldn’t see right for her to face more. I closed my eyes and imagined her face. Soon, I thought, soon I’ll no longer need to imagine.
Tomorrow we’ll be reunited,
Cthulhu dreams
Brains taste like tofuThat ... is priceless. ^_^ I must remember this one.It's certainly a strike against Tofu. Next time someone serves you some, take a bite, shrug, and then say "hmmm tastes just like brains . . ."
I think I can safely say it won't be offered again. I'm also thinking that you might not get many dinner invitations after that . . .
FYI gentlecritters, here's a quotable quote from one of those funky TV shows that populate the airwaves these days:
“Just like any other good brain – creamy, a little tinny, absolutely delicious.”
Andrew Zimmern, Bizarre Foods, 1st April 2008
Jade's player loves these kinds of shows... it's creepy what this man will put in his mouth and eat...
I'll start I guess, just cause I find this contest interesting.
Today's submission:
Safra
It's a shortened version of Safron. Which was almost my first submission, but then I remembered where I knew that name from. :Þ
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My second entry in the Tristan rename contest is...
Royaume Lointain
This is French for "Far Realm". If you want to translate to Master of the Far Realm you would get...
Maître Royaume Lointain
You could say that Maître is an honorific or something, but since you didn't want funky characters I figured I would just give you Far Realm. A new name to come tomorrow, stay tuned.
Hi !
A closer translation for 'Far Realm' would (could?) be 'Outremonde' meaning litterally 'other world' or 'world beyond the world'.
But the "on" sound may be a bit unpleasant to english-speaking ears, something like a goose honking.
Best regards,
-Smarnil
RPG Superstar 2010 Top 32
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She's certainly a powerful caster and sits firmly between the realms of Law and Chaos. She's an agent of Law, seducing powerful characters and sending them off to fight the churning, babbling chaos. Their every victory increases her kingdom.
Okay, Tristan's not an agent of law, and she has plenty of dealings with the gurgling, weirdo chaosbeasts, but her role as linchpin between the Material and the Far Realm did -slightly- remind me of Myshella's kingdom at the edge of chaos.
I found this blurb somewhere on the interweb:
Myshella The Dark Lady
Myshella is one of the primary servants of Law. She is seemingly immortal, living throughout centuries as a youthful, incredibly beautiful woman. Normally, she lives in her castle on Ashanaloon, the isolated island in the middle of The Boiling Sea, but also has a home in the castle Kanaloon in the wasteland to the south of Filkhar. It was in this castle where she met Earl Aubec of Malador when he came there seeking to conquer the castle and add the land to his Queen's kingdom.
She serves the forces of Law by taking up residence in a castle on the World's Edge, with the stuff of Chaos lapping at its walls. Eventually a hero will arrive, or she will lure him, and she will seduce him with her stunning beauty. There is almost no man who can resist her charms, and after their lovemaking, he will then go out and attack the swirling stuff of Chaos and push it back, thus removing more Chaos from the world.
The walls of her sleeping chamber in Kaneloon is decorated with the shields of those who have fought Chaos for her love. She has always been greatly hated by the people of Melniboné, since she has been quite powerful in the fight against Chaos.
The extent of her supernatural powers is uncertain, though she must be a powerful sorceress, considering she was able to summon many Oonai to bring Elric and Moonglum to her aid.
For transportation across the world, she rides the winged Jeweled Bird, who is loyally devoted to its Mistress.
On a fateful day in the Sighing Desert, just outside the gates of Tanelorn, The Lady Myshella was slain by the sorcerer Theleb K'aarna of Pan Tang, her throat slit. Now her body rests for eternity in Castle Kaneloon. Myshella had served the Lords of Law for centuries, and now a gap lies in their struggle for balance.
