I'm sitting here talking with a buddy (Sexi Golem 01 ((who, by the way, apologizes for killing the thread about detect magic and invisibility, and is willing to pay restitutions in the amount of 1 agreement with Sebastian))), and we're discussing his monk for an upcoming Holiday one-shot for my high school group (going through Mud Sorcerer's Tomb from Dungeon #138). His halfling's Jump and Tumble skills are ungodly by this point (well above 20), and I had previously ruled that in order to do an "anime-style" action of bounding between walls and remaining off the ground would require a combined DC 25 Jump and Tumble check, which he can make without rolling.
It occured to me that if he added the were-tiger template, he would have a nightmarishly lethal version of a classic children's character.
Tigger.
What are some other perfectly harmless characters that you can see perverting into statistical monstrosities in D&D?
You still owe me a cookie, McArtor!
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I'm sitting here talking with a buddy (Sexi Golem 01 ((who, by the way, apologizes for killing the thread about detect magic and invisibility, and is willing to pay restitutions in the amount of 1 agreement with Sebastian)))
No worries about that thread I started. I got my answer well before any derailment occured, but it would be adorable to see Sexi and Sebastian agree.
Although it has not been officially presented in play. The idea of having a character with a two-bladed sword each with brilliant energy has been suggested often. :-)
I once had an epic ranger/rogue with a ring of solar wings and mantle of great stealth (epic item). The bottom line was he could fly fast and had a +70 hide and move silently. So he would often do the "face coming out of darkness" trick when he chose to speak.
Heh. Halfling monks are cool.
I'm sitting here talking with a buddy (Sexi Golem 01 ((who, by the way, apologizes for killing the thread about detect magic and invisibility, and is willing to pay restitutions in the amount of 1 agreement with Sebastian)))No worries about that thread I started. I got my answer well before any derailment occured, but it would be adorable to see Sexi and Sebastian agree.
Oh, earlier we were talking about Amulets of Mighty Fists and not understanding exactly why they were priced so high, but both feeling that there must be a reason and thus being completely unwilling to tamper with it. I mentioned that I respected the game designers too much, and he agreed. Then he said something along the lines of, "You know, if Sebastian had just heard that, he'd probably crap himself." :)
By the way, if you see this before coming over again, Mr. Golem, you left your cell phone here.
Oh, and the apology was because he was the last poster on the thread before it died, and just felt awkward about it. I mentioned that it could be confusing, because if it were the WotC boards and everyone got pissed off at something you wrote, they'd probably cybernetically flip you off and scream and rant. But here at Paizo, everyone's so nice they might just give you the silent treatment. :P
Wow, major veering of off-coursedness there. Back on topic: Humorous character interpretations in D&D. I'm curious, Bill, why exactly was Calvin so frightening?
I'm curious, Bill, why exactly was Calvin so frightening?
Bill I'm sorry.
I'd honestly thought that I had properly introduced Saern to the majesty of C&H before but obviously I was lax in my duties.
Saern,
Calvin is a six year old being that under normal human circumstances would seem frightening due to his destructive havok causing capabilities. In addition to the normal horrors a six year old can summon Calvin has quasi-god like powers. In his long career as a popular comic book character Calvin has invented a time machine, a squirt gun capeable of delivering a polymorph any object spell at range, developed a successful cloning machine, and is almost completely immune to learning a lesson.
In addition to this he frequently changes shape into
Stupendous Man- an invulnerable alter ego that has succedded in both reversing time itself and ruining the babysitters relationship with her boyfriend.
Spaceman Spiff- An intrepid hero documented as having single handedly defeated entire spaceships filled with Hideous scum beings of Q-13. (An ECL 28 encounter)
among others
On top of all this Calvin has also never sold his image or likeness to be used by any company other than the publishers responsible for producing his compilation books. A feat unmatched by Peanuts or Garfield.
Oh, earlier we were talking about Amulets of Mighty Fists and not understanding exactly why they were priced so high, but both feeling that there must be a reason and thus being completely unwilling to tamper with it. I mentioned that I respected the game designers too much, and he agreed. Then he said something along the lines of, "You know, if Sebastian had just heard that, he'd probably crap himself." :)
I think the Amulet is overpriced because it's not in the best body slot. The neck space is designated for 'Protection and Discernment' items. I've no idea why the designers would put Mighty Fists in the 'wrong' item slot in DMG, but hey it's not the only wonky thing they did. (I have no agreement with Sebastian ;)
Hmmm, benign characters made frightening...how about the Nic'epona (from 2nd ed Planescape)? They look a lot like My Little Ponies, and with class levels (or just a little DM alteration) they could be pretty badass.
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How about a vampire Santa Claus? The undead promsises toys to those who leave cookies and treats by the fireplace at night. (The cookies act as consent to enter so Vampy Claus can come inside) Make sure your fast asleep now kiddies or Santa won't come in to give you your present. A twitch of his nose and a gaseous form down the chimeney later, Santa is all set to put that famous red glow back in his cheeks.
You better not shout... You better not cry...
The Krampus is not really a benign character, but is definitely frightening. An evil satyr carrying a switch (rod of spanking +5), chains around his wrists (AC and grapple bonus) and a Heward's Handy Haversack made specifically for the use of carrying naughty children to Hell certainly frightens me. He also sounds like an NPC statted up for the Book of Erotic Fantasy, which makes him ten times scarier in my mind.
There's a great book of postcards bearing his likeness from the turn of the century that was recently published by (I believe) Fantagraphics, with excerpts printed in the Blab comics anthology.
Previous manifestations of Santa Claus (like in David Sedaris' hilarious "Six to Eight Black Men" in "Clothe Your Family In Corduroy and Denim") would most definitely fit the bill.
"Listen, you might want to pack a bag before you go to sleep this Christmas Eve. The former Archbishop of Turkey will be coming by tonight with six to eight black men. They may fill your shoes with candy, or he may pick you up and carry you back with him to Spain. He may just pretend to kick you. We just want you to be ready."
A creepy character idea which came up in Vampire (Malkavian, unsurprisingly) but could be adapted..."I hear voices/imaginary friend(?)".
The character keeps up invisibility all the time and stalks some innocent person, communicating with him/her only with telepathy (and maybe assorted charm, domination etc spells). Other than this, the character keeps no contact with the world, avoids touching anything or making noise, especially while other people are present.
Kobold druid. Oh look it's a kobold... omfg dire bear wtfbbq!!!
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Forgotten Realms setting.
I was running an evil game (I do this from time to time) and one of them had gotten killed. In addition to the gold the temple of Cyric was charging for a raise dead, they demanded that the party find sacrifices to appeace the Lord of Murder in exchange for bringing someone back from death. So, the party goes out into the city and the first targets they go after, of course, are hobos and prostitutes.
Well, one of the 'hobos' was a level 16 monk of Ilmater who was on a personal quest to learn to be more humble and decided to endure the hardships of the homeless for one year. The party consisted of 4 level 12 characters (a bard, a fighter, the cleric/rogue of Cyric, and a sorcerer) and, while they managed to take him down, they lost the fighter in the process, necessitating EVEN MORE sacrifices to resurrect.
An awakened purple clawfoot dinosaur bard (Barney).
Run while you can...
Okay, first off, I'm surprised nobody mentioned the obvious: Bunnies. Vorpal bunnies. More seriously, yes. Rabbits. I once thought to make a race of demented, rabid rabbit people.
Second off, there are a vast number of children under the age of six that can testify Santa Clause is absolutely terrifying in that giant red suit of his.
Barney: Yes.
Keebler elves: I totally see these guys as demented gnomish Fleshwarpers (Complete Arcane) with an underground laboratory.
Pooh and friends: Demon possessed toys ala Chucky.
The Wiggles: These guys are begging to be servants of Kyuss. A bardic troupe spreading wiggly love to all the little boys and girls...
... or maybe midgets...."
Munchkins!!
"We represent the Lollipop Guild. Prepare to Die."