its pink toenails the size of swords
but Prince Roger constantly had to scrape
them on a rock to keep them
sharp enough to lop off the limbs
of a petrified oak tree. That way,
he could aerate the lawn as he
pranced about avoiding the falling limbs. Then
he could bury the bones of his
long-dead ancestors underneath the mounds of fallen
branches; no one would be the wiser!
Not to mention that his lawn would
make the perfect spot for the next
renaissance festival for bizarre Kaiju monsters from
the Pleiades. These mind-warping beasts were known
to like to dress up like knights
, speak in flowery prose and surround themselves
with minstrels and jugglers known for their
ribaldry as well as their snarky snarky
attitudes, which is nothing compared to their
latitudes, like in the Jimmy Buffett song.
The parrothead appeared in a puff of
eldritch green smoke (WARNING: Carcinogenic if inhaled!)
and announced, "As the son of a
preacher man, only I can save you."
But nobody believed him so the people
went on about their miserable lives. In
other, happier places, like Disney World, different
irrelevant persons were being summoned, such as
Goofy, donald Duck, Micky Mouse, and other
big headed cartoon carachters who then went
on a rampage, much to the horror
of the pasty-faced kids suckin down cottoncandy
and hotdogs. Donald, a stream of curses
erupting from his fanged, pockmarked beak, was
particularly miffed that someone had stolen his
pants! I'll just bet it was Heuey,
or maybe that hippopotamus in the tutu
who wanted revenge on "the Don" for
buying the last bunch of slightly-irregular grapes.
However, as the untrousered duck was held
temporarily in check by the wailing preschoolers,
Huey struck again! This time he stole
the Hand of Vecna, which he planned
to graft onto an unsuspecting bystander in
the "It's a Small World" ride, after
cutting off the heads of the annoying
pair of chipmunks after their antics became
useless to his plan, for the
plan had to be without interference from
viciously evil rodents and slimy lawyers alike.
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