I'm about to run to the beginning of the third adventure Flood Season which will have the Stormblades publically confront the PCs and mock them publicly in an attempt to sully their prestige and reputation, which they hope will goad them into attacking them. Now I'm sure that there are several DMs here that relished the opportunity to rip into the PCs with their witty sarcasm. But my personal insult-fu is very weak, along the level of "you are a doo-doo head and a pee-pee face".
I would like to arrive at this encounter prepared with some scripted lines, bullet points, and teardown tactics for me to put out for my players. Annah would of course start out with some satiristic praise of the PCs and their acomplishments, but then go into some cleverly veiled insults. Todd would interject with variations of "Losers" here and there. After a while of interchange Cora will jump in with some aggresive vitrol.
Some distinctive points about what has been going on in my game: The PCs are noble-ish. Although not nobles, they are socially the same level as Cora Lanthenmire. The PC Kyra is Cora's younger sister. The Stormblades has scooped the PCs of Kazmojen's treasure hoard from the Malachite Fortress. Yes, the PCs hate them very much. This was done with Annah forging a note by Sacrem stating that the Stomblades were working for the Church of St. Cuthbert, which got them past the St. Cuthbert guard that was stationed at Ghelve's Locks. Jenya knows nothing about this note. The PCs have confronted the Stormblades at the Cusp of Sunrise, where Annah showed them the forged note and cooly and calmly informed them that such "recovery" tasks are exclusively their domain in this town, that the PCs should have handed over the job to them, and from her point of view the PCs has stolen treasure that rightfully belongs to the Stormblades. The PCs have not discerned the note was a forgery. But doing some follow up Gather Information and Knowledge(local) and (nobility) checks after the meeting has revealed that Annah is full of it and blowing smoke.
During the Kordite barbarian retreat, Kyra made friends with Zachary Aslan II and he spilled to her how much swag they took (5,000 gp worth), how he was initially angry at her and her group for doing the adventure that he thought was their right to have. But since the Stormblades didn't go into the underdark to find more enslaved citizens like Annah said they would, he's feeling pretty bad about the whole thing and is sorry that they did that. And also how he's drifting away from Cora and the Stormblades, but is too loyal to leave either and is feeling stuck (Kyra's player rolled a high Diplomacy check.) Of course, Cora has by now caught wind that her boyfriend and her little sister has been hanging out in the woods for a couple of weeks and is feeling very jealous and paranoid right now. Which leads to...
Help me Obi Wan; you are my only hope. :) Please help me bring honor to the portrayal player's adversaries. What is Annah, Todd, Cora, and even Zachary going to say? This has the potential of breaking Zachary away from the Stormblades, depending on how it goes.
Maybe this would help your insult-fu. Don't have it myself:
http://www.rpgnow.com/product_info.php?products_id=5905&
I'd do a couple quips but then maybe result to Intimidate/Diplomacy checks to see who gets off the better insults. Have it occur in a crowded inn with the common man ohhhiing and ahhhing.
I'm having a grand melee at the Flood Festival, only open to nobles. For me, that means 6 Stormblades ganging up on my one noble PC.
I had Todd start throwing biscuits at the party. I know, not exactly insult-fu, but they immediately took the idea of "food fight" and ran with it. Soon pretzels from the bar, and stew was flying.
When I'm at a loss for exact words, I do a Bluff, Diplomacy, or Intimidate check and then describe the remark and the effects, as in, "Annah makes a cutting remark," (roll die), "which is brilliantly witty and actually makes you flinch."
It's better to have the cutting remark handy, but what if she blows the roll?
It's better to have the cutting remark handy, but what if she blows the roll?
I prefer to simply fake rolling a dice and having whatever outcome I want occur. In roleplaying encounters at least, usually not in combat. Story is key, after all.
Anyway, I plan on having the players first real confrontation with the Stormblades come during the Demonskar Ball. This gives the PCs a chance to put their Diplomacy skills to work, rub elbows with some citizens they would otherwise never meet, etc.
Of course, they have to be careful not to lose their collective cool against the Stormblades... a glass of wine thrown in a face is frowned upon but not necessarily uncalled for. A bottle of alchemist's fire, on the other hand, would be downright rude.
Okay, I'm running my game tonight. Just tell me the cool zingers that you have had the Stormblades say when they ripped on your PCs.
Maybe this would help your insult-fu. Don't have it myself:
http://www.rpgnow.com/product_info.php?products_id=5905&
Thank you for pointing this book out to me. I downloaded it and read it. Unfortunately, it's lame. Only a degree better than "you are a doo doo head and a pee pee face."
Okay, I'm running my game tonight. Just tell me the cool zingers that you have had the Stormblades say when they ripped on your PCs.
I like sideways compliments. They make you look witty.
"Oh, that must be the most beautiful dress that you could afford!"
"It's nice to see that the spoils from your so-called adventures haven't been entirely wasted..."
"It is so refreshing to see a dwarf who isn't filthy from digging in the dirt all day!"
"I must admit, I am frightfully curious as to something. Why are your people, elves, that is, always climbing about in the trees as though they were monkeys?"
"Adventurers, eh? Well, clunking around in armor and swinging swords about does not make one a hero. Nor does it make one *sniff* civilized."
And then there're the guards who keep people from bringing weapons. I had great fun with the rude maitre d (sp) at the Cusp of Sunrise. For melee weapons: "We're not at war here sir..." Or for ranged weapons "There are no stags in the ballroom, madam..."
Actually, It turns out that it will be this coming Monday when this goes down. And I am still determining what I'm going to say.