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You stand before the doors of the Moot House, a museum of Licktoad heroics — inside lie trophies like stolen weapons, shiny treasures, and the pickled bodies of dozens of animals (mostly dogs). This is a treasure trove of everything a goblin could want, yet no goblin dares take anything.
This is because his Mighty Girthness, Chief Rendwattle Gutwad also dwells within these doors. He is the best leader the Licktoad tribe has seen since the last, weak ruler was killed (by Chief Gutwad). You know that the words that come out of his mouth are so mighty that they frighten away all the words in the heads of lesser goblins such as yourselves. If you only were as awesome as Chief Gutwad one day! Only chief advisor Slorb can handle the chief's words without fainting.
However, Slorb is late! As boredom sets in, you notice that you're not the only goblin loitering around the Moot House this morning.
Offenclopf loiters in the shadow wreathed corner, humming to himself and clicking his grubby, rubbery fingers. With every click a little flame ignites on the end of his thumb, burning dirty and sooty, and then disappears. A crazed smile crosses his face.
This all go up nice, maybe Offenclopf be king gobbo if all burns?
His globular eyes flick to the other goblins in the room, and the smile turns into a grimace, all teeth with tongue hanging out
No! Offenclopf always last, always looses, always smallest, other gobbos only here to laugh at Offenclopf! wait to hear what big gobbo have to say, might be good for Offenclopf... then maybe burn all the laughers...
The wild, red haired little goblin, known grudgingly by the other goblins as 'Drubbus,' stands smack in the middle of the room, looking around in wonder at everything around him.
"Hey, gobbo in dark! Can you do fire-making too?"
Must be trick. He can-no be Zarogel kid too! Drubbus was only one. But he use fire. And really good! Maybe he Drubbus cousin. The goblin, satisfied with his nonsensical answer, waits for a response.
"Avast!" exclaims Cap'n Dogbeard, not the least bit unexpectedly.
"Ahoy, Arrfenclopf! Fair winds, Master Dogcooker!"
Looking around at the accumulation of wealth inside Moot House, he adds, "Booty!" before tailing off in a length of giggling and snickering.
Checking out the posterior of one of Chief Gutwad's goblin concubines, the Cap'n snorts, "Her have avast booty too!"
Looking around wildly, the Cap'n suddenly exclaims, "Where be Slorb, dat duck-livered, mango-ridden bilge-dog??!! How we do anchors aweigh if him not here??!!"
"Da booty look better if it be on fire! Then it shiny and hot! Drubbus like that."
Mags stands in the back near the door, practicing her heroic poses and making her own sound effects in anticipation.
"Woosh!" she half-whispers as she whips her rapier around. "Hiyaaaa! Shaaaa!"
It takes her a few moments to notice the other goblins. "Oh, you guys here too? You be heroes like Mags?! That great! Try not to look cooler than Mags, and we be hero team!"
"Heroes??!! By Besm-Arrrr!-a's curvy chesticles, me not hero--me be a pirate! Yarrrr! An' pirates can't help but look cool...an' scary. You look piratey too, Mags. You can join me crew an' be scourge of high seas AN' low swamps, too! Avast!"
The Cap'n starts running around swinging his own rapier and singing.
"Fifteen longshanks on a dead longshank's chest
Yo-ho-ho an' a bowel o' skum!"
Maybe others not laugh... maybe Offenclopf finally have friends...
Offenclopf slowly comes forwards
"Don't do making fire, friend. AM fire!"
With that Offenclopf gathers power. Everything begins to heat up within 20ft of Offenclopf, the heat becomes flame as it spirals towards Offenclopf seeming to flow into his torso, then with a loud bang the room returns to normal, but Offenclopf's eyes flicker like fire for a few seconds...
Offenclopf's grin returns as he looks around to see who is impressed with his display...
The Cap'n is indeed impressed by the display, since he stops swinging his rapier for a few moments and stands with his lower jaw and tied-on beard drooping.
"Quiver me embers, dat would put da fear o gobbos into most landshanks an' longlubbers we meet! Is good thing you not have luxuriant real pirate beard--not dog pelt--like me, cuz it catch fire when you do dat."
Pirate? Sounds fun! Maybe backup if being a hero goes wrong?
Mags' eyes bug out as Offenclopf completely upstages her without breaking a sweat. She clears her throat before speaking up. "That cool! Mags can see why you hero! Mags think you make great sidekick. We be hero duo!"
This one on Mags' watch list. Potential mega hero. Do cool thing Mags can't. Must keep eye on fire gob.
BELCH
Offenclopf belches loudly and smoke whisps from his nostrils and ears as the fire in his eyes dulls
"Drubbus fire too! See?" The little goblin spits a glob of mucus onto the ground in between everyone, and it suddenly sparks, creating a brief flare of fire. "Gets that from me dad! He be Zarongel."
As the smoke clears from Offenclopf's nostrils, the doors to the chief's chamber swings open. Out waddles a pompous, overdressed goblin. His beady red eyes drift from you lot to a matted dog pelt on fire. "No!" he shouts in a high-pitched, nasal voice. "His Most Fearsomefulness am kill goblins who burn his stuff!" After a brief moment of panic, during which the pelt is thrown into the mud outside, Slorb finally catches his breath and addresses each of you in turn.
"You stop speak funny," he says to Dogbeard. "But only one goblin drown last month. Slorb hate Mogurt too. Keep up good work."
"Fire good, but you no set Chief's stuff on fire!" Slorb admonishes Offenclopf. "Remember who am chief."
"You stop being red," he turns to Drubbus. "...wait. No. Just behave good."
"And you!" Finally, Slorb addresses Mags the Amazing. "You no stick chief or Slorb with funny sword, or chief stick you back! His horsechopper not as funny."
"Chief am see you now," Slorb says in his comical, screeching voice. Beyond the already open doors sits the great Chief Gutwad, ever unimpressed by the antics in his Moot House, on top of the Teeter Chair. Truly, his corpulence knows no bounds. Slorb spits, then gestures each of you to a spot on the dirt floor in front of the Teeter Chair. "You sit here, here, here..."
"Mags know, stupid Slorb! Sword only for animals and longshanks and gobs no one likes." Like Slorb...
Mags saunters over to the spot Slorb points her to and bows deeply to Gutwad. "Mighty Chief Gutwad! King of all Licktoads! Mags honored to be near you! Give Mags chance, and she be bestest hero you ever see!"
Offenclopf mutters to himself
"'remember who am chief' mler blar bloo! Sllorb shud 'member who am chief. Not Slorb, for sure. Maybe Chief be big happy if Slorb burn mysteriously in huge massive firey fire!"
Offenclopf sits cross legged, cross armed, cross faced where he is directed, like a 4 year old who's just been told off by the teacher.
"You stop speak funny," he says to Dogbeard. "But only one goblin drown last month. Slorb hate Mogurt too. Keep up good work."
"Aye-aye, matey! I'll belay me cutlass-garglin' pirateyspeak presently! Yarrr!"
The Cap'n takes off his beloved tricorne long enough to bow to the Licktoad Chief. "Ahoy, Commodore!" he says with hopefully enough reverence and respect in his voice. "What you need done? Got keel that need haulin'? Some swab you need decked?" "Then me is da goblin for da job!"
"I ken try being good, but no promises! I'm red, the color of fire! Fire is not always nice."
Then, he turns to the chief. "Gutwad! Hello! You need burn stuff? Me and Offenclopf can does it for you!"
Ghir, completely oblivious as to when the meeting was supposed to start, enters with a mouthful of partially charred pelt. He chews on it fervently as he says:
"HRGHRMLBHR? GTDBOUADLBLDCHUTRN"
Of course, what he had meant to say was "How you Goblins be here? Ghir thought Ghir had special audience with Chiefytan," but hadn't quite worked out the acoustics of speaking through a layer of fur and skin.
He scurries to join the rest of the group. As he sits where Slob tells him, he again attempts to speak,
Still with the pelt in his mouth, and instead vomits on the floor in front of Chief Gutwad.
Ghir wipes his mouthful of sharp teeth and says, "It okay. Ghir clean!" and begins eating his spew off the floor.
Slorb attempts to express his disapproval at the newest arrival, but Chief Gutwad interjects in a deep, booming voice!
"You all be heroes," the chief says, looking down at each of you. "You are best Licktoads but for me. And maybe but for Slorb. That you aren’t fleeing in terror from mighty sound of my voice is all the proof you should need. Yet soon, all Licktoad goblins will know your might, for I have picked you for a dangerous mission." The chief glances at Slorb, who catches himself and scurries towards you with a dirty map in his hands.
"You know about fireworks and map we found in Scribbleface’s hut. Fireworks were fun. But map is more fun. It shows a route to a place near the coast where he found fireworks. And it says there are more fireworks there!" The map shows little more than the Licktoad village, an old shipwreck, and the creek that runs between the two locations.
"I want them for Licktoads. You all go get them tomorrow. Tonight we have big bonfire to burn bad luck away from you, and we play many games. Much fun. Tomorrow you fetch me fireworks. If you meet men, you make them dead. If you meet dogs, you make them dead. If you meet horses, you make them dead. If you meet Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, you maybe should run. And if you not find fireworks, you not come back or we feed you to Squealy Nord!"
Having dispensed his wisdom, Chief Gutwad narrows his eyes. "Now get out of my Moot House!" It's midday, and already goblins are scrambling to build a bonfire out of the remnants of Scribbleface's hut. As the day continues, some goblins roll out a cask of fermented cider apples, and quickly get drunk. What fun they must be having! And the party hasn't even started!
Mag's eyes go wide as Chief Gutwad talks. Mags' head not blow up from words of Gutwad! Mags really is special! He sure saying lots of words. So many words. Mags only know some words. But who cares! Mags is official hero!
As he wraps up his speech, Mags salutes with her rapier. "Worry not, Chief! Mags get get fireworks and make you proud! Mags swear on Slorb's life!" Before Slorb has a chance to say anything, Mags runs out of the hut and starts bragging to any goblin who will listen (and many who refuse to) about how she was chosen to be a hero by the Chief himself.
Ghir tries very hard to listen intently to the words that Chief Gutwad says, but his already large head feels VERY close to exploding just to grasp a glimpse of their meaning.
Gutwad speakin' wordies that almost as powerful as magicks... Making Ghir head go dizzy-dizzy... Ghir knows! Ghir will pretend to understand, but not really listen to Gutwaddy words!
Ghir tries to feign understanding by nodding his head at the appropriate times in Gutwad's address, but does it so enthusiastically that he nods too far forward... into his upchuckery. Flecks of stomach acid and various chewed upon remnants of creatures and objects begin flying around the room in a sporadic upward arc, following the Goblin's ill-conceived deception.
As Mags leaves, Ghir follows suite, but does not engage any other Goblins in conversation. Instead, he finds a piece of wood that was meant to go into the bonfire pile, and begins gnawing on it.
"Is not knowing what is around here. Stuff all looks the same when of fire."
Drubbus quickly down several ciders, as many as he can get his hands on.
Drubbus manages to down 3 ciders before someone notices. Then he continues to try to mooch them out of any other goblins.
Offenclopfs snarly grin hasn't left his face since he was told about the firework expedition. He begins to sing as he skips from the moot house...
little fire not for me,
Little fire catch a tree,
Catch a hut, catch whole town,
Great big fire, BURN IT DOWN!
Offenclopf punctuates this last line with a plume of fire sent skywards from his outstretched palm. Then scampers off round the camp, setting fire to bits of unattended firewood as he goes.
Drubbus, now quite drunk, begins to chase after Offenclopf. Every so often, he tries to aim a flare at the pyromaniac, but always misses, due to his eyes being slightly blurred.
"S-s-stu-upid Off-ff-e... Off... Stupid Off! I is-is on-nly fire go-obbo here! Me bur-ur-urn you!"
Although he hadn't a clue who or what Squealy Nord and Lotslegs Lots-More-Words were, the Cap'n nevertheless doffed his tricorne, raised his rapier in salute, and yipped, "Aye-aye, Commodore!" before exiting the Moot House to look for all the fun games the Chief had promised.
An hour later, poor Doggy was still wandering through the goblin village wailing, "Where Walk da Plank??!! Dat be fun game! Lots more fun den Talk to Plank."
Then he remembered an awesome riddle he'd heard in his piratin' days, which he posed to the nearest members of the tribe.
"What goblin pirate use to squash starfish?"
"Starboard! Yar-har-haaaaa!"
Thanks to Offenclopf, the goblins get to skip all the hard work to get to the best part of a bonfire — burning stuff. The party begins a few hours before it should, as four goblins stagger out of the Moot House, carrying each leg of the Teeter Chair that Chief Gutwad is sitting on. With fire and food, the party has started!
@Mags the Amazing: You find that goblins are surprisingly good listeners when it comes to stuff the chief has to say. Rumors quickly spread that you (and your companions) are going to perform some special task for Chief Gutwad. During the festival, one of your new admirers butts in and says, "If Mags so special, I dares Mags to dance with Squealy Nord! Then she be real amazingful champion of Licktoads! But for Chief." The crowd oohs and aahs at the suggestion.
@Ghir: Not to be outdone, another nearbly goblin (thoroughly cowed after you hissed at him) chimes up. "No! Ghir can eat wood, he can eat anything! Ghir more amazing champion than Mags!" He looks around for a contest worthy of a champion, then fetches a writhing bag in a wicker basket. "I dares Ghir to eat this bag of bull slugs real quick!"
@Drubbus: "Drubbus am Licktoad but for red! He be real Licktoads champion, since I dares him to beat the Rusty Earbiter!" Though the cider apples are potent and you downed a lot of them, you only feel slightly tipsy and full of goblin bravado. You feel like you could take on the Rusty Earbiter easily. The cheering goblins around you seem to agree.
@Dogbeard: Your sharp wit is no match for the Licktoad goblins, but they've returned with pieces of wood and a foul mood. "Dogbeard real smart but for funny speak, he outsmart me," one of them grins maliciously. Some of the others tap their wooden clubs impatiently. "He real champion if he outsmart plank. Am dares Dogbeard to hide or get planked!"
Chief Gutwad may have recognized you as heroes, but you didn't get anything out of him except for a job to do. It's common knowledge that bonfire dares are important to the Licktoad tribe: important enough that the chief will richly reward those who succeed. As for why the chief doesn't simply give you such valuable tools to finish a mission he set you on, well... that's just not how things are done in the Licktoad tribe. You could refuse, of course.
"Me do Rusty! I is best! Me go!"
"What dis? A mutiny??!! Why ye bunch o' scurvy-sailed, lilac-livered..." The Cap'n points behind the upstart goblins to create a diversion and scampers around the nearest hut, then trying to climb up onto its roof.
@Drubbus: The Rusty Earbiter is a hollow coil of rusty wires, barrel hoops, bent swords, and thorny branches and vines kept behind the Moot House. A half-dozen goblins cheer and drag it out, with the typical number of slashed fingers and stabbed legs such a task brings. In order to defeat it, you must climb into one end of the Rusty Earbiter and wriggle through it to come out on the other side. You see severed goblin ear decorating the entrance, and many more bits within.
@Cap'n Dogbeard: "Stupid Dogbeard! No more cows in Licktoad village, we ates the last cow days ago!"
Nevertheless, the goblins decide to give you a fair chance at your dare. With their planks at the ready, goblins get dangerously close to the building you are hiding on top of, but they quickly lose interest and give up trying to find you, however. Several minutes later, you find yourself in front of goblins who apologize profusely for ever doubting a hero. Slorb hands you a Ring that Lets You Climb Real Good on behalf of Chief Gutwad. "Return it after mission," he says. "Or Chief make heads roll! Starting with yours."
Dogbeard glares at the mutinous green turds but his countenance brightens at Slorb's gift. "Shiny-shiny! Miney-miney!" he sings before adding, "'Til me have to give it back, o' course."
Drubbus manages to get through the rusty earbiter.
"Drubbus is bestest gobbo ever!"
Mags soaks up all the attention like a sponge. "Dance with Squealy Nord? Dance with Squealy Nord?! Mags best dancer in whole tribe! Squealy Nord is going down! Take Mags to Nord!" She holds her arms out to the sides and stands there, clearly expecting some other gob to pick her up and carry her to he challenge.
Sluggers?
Ghir's memory is stirred back to more difficult times, when he'd stow away in caravans for a quick meal and drop off the wagon once his belly was full. He'd eaten some scrumptiously buttery escargot, or "sluggers with crunchy toppying" as he called them, straight off of a Varisian's unattended plate once.
It was the best meal, besides his parents, he had ever eaten. His mouth waters with the memory...
"YUMMY SLUGGERS! GIMME!"
He snatches the bag from the other goblin, rips it open, and pours the bull slugs into his large open maw. His teeth tear the oily, viscous creatures apart as he swallows each and every mutilated bit of them.
The Cap'n sees his opening and seizes it like any real goblin rogue would. He pirate-walks right up to Mags, hooks both arms around her waist, picks her up in a bearhug, and starts waddling off with her.
"Remember: Stab an' move! Stab an' move!"
Once they have a little privacy, he moves his face close to hers and whispers romantically into her nostril, "Me think you saucy wench! Not want to say that too loud nor when Ghir around--him might take literally."
The Cap'n stops suddenly and adds, "By da way...what be Squealy Nord and where him be?"
Mags flails her arms around and giggles wildly as she is picked up. She stops when Dogbeard starts talking to her nose.
Saucy wench? What that? Probably weird pirate compliment.
"Uh, yes! Mags very saucy wench! Sauciest of all wenches! Don't you forget it!"
Mags looks around and shrugs. "Mags not know about Squealy Nord. Mags kind of hoped whoever picked Mags up would know."
"Don't worry--me take care o' dis," Dogbeard tells his Saucy Highness.
Turning his fiercest pirate glare upon a nearby group of non-champion gobo rabble, he shrieks, "Ahoy dere, ye scurvy, white-bellied, flounder-guppies! You take da fearless Cap'n an' da Amazin' Mags to da Squealy Nord or I'll stick ye with me blade an' give ye a second porthole on yer poopdeck! Yarrrr!"
In case those wicked awesome threats weren't enough, the pirate goblin barked, "Please?"
Following Drubbus' lead Offenclopf eyes the earbiter...
"no gobos think Offenclopf hero eh? Well offenclopf show them
Sara (NOT Rotluga!) stumbles in, she looks like she's been drinking.
"HEY! What's going on...? Did you start a party and not invite me?"
She reaches for her pistol, obviously intending to shoot someone for this great offense, but due to her tipsy nature, she drops it.
@Drubbus: For thirty tense seconds, you wriggle your way through the Rusty Earbiter. You see severed goblin bits in various stages of decay from previous 'contestants.' You manage to escape unscathed just as the first goblins begin to lose interest. Amidst the cheering and revelry, Slorb hands you Chief's Personal Very Useful Robe That Is Useful as a reward. The robe has four cloth patches that resemble a ladder, a three-legged turtle, a horseshoe, and a bullhorn.
@Ghir, Offenclopf: The bull slugs are massive, writhing creatures the size of goblin heads. It tastes vaguely of rotten fish and bursts with a squeal — at which point the contents of its acrid slime bladder floods down your throat. Looking down at the basket, you see four more wriggling shapes. This is nothing like the sluggers with crunchy toppying that you ate before!
"No goblin ever eat bull slugs real quick in Rusty Earbiter before!" the goblins exclaim, handing another bag of slugs to Offenclopf. "If do this, Offenclopf true hero!"
@Mags, Dogbeard: "Sorry, Captain! We take yous to Squealy Nord real quick!" With the goblins' direction, Dogbeard carries Mags into a muddy pit in the middle of the village. There you find Squealy Nord, and he appears every bit the fearsome, goblin-eating boar that the other goblins say he is. The crowd waits expectantly at the gates to his pen.
@Sara: "Stupid Rotluga! Party for Licktoad heroes! They have special mission from great Chief Gutwad!" taunts a nearby goblin. "If want to be hero, challenge them!"
Dogbeard lowers Mags to the muddy ground, eyeballing this alleged Squealy Nord.
"Hmm...him more handsome than the Cap'n expect. Me jealous you dance with him. Him also pig and therefore delicious. Good luck, Amazing Mags."
Mags grins at Dogbeard. "Thanks, but Mags don't need luck! Mags has SKILL!" With that, she leaps into the pit and onto Squealy Nord's back.
@Offenclopf: You've navigated halfway through the Rusty Earbiter without serious injury, but you're stuck in an uncomfortable position. A few goblins begin to lose interest and drift away as bull slug slime dribbles down from your mouth. In order to claim your prize before Ghir, you may have to take some desperate measures. You could charge through the Rusty Earbiter and risk injury but eat the remaining bull slugs at a leisurely pace afterward, or you could try to shove both bull slugs in your mouth and attempt to finish the Rusty Earbiter without losing an ear or a limb.
@Mags: You hop on Squealy Nord's back, and the pig panics. Within seconds, you find yourself upside-down in the mud. You've avoided any serious physical injury, but the goblins around Squealy Nord's pen mock you furiously. "Stupid Mags! Slow Mags! Take off your hat, stick with your rags!" Squealy Nord approaches you cautiously and nuzzles you.
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The Cap'n scurries through the muck to help Mags up and make sure she's alright (though her splat-landing looked awesomely acrobatic in his eyes).
After she's up, Dogbeard glares at the goblins making fun of her. "Stow that hyena-talk, ye bunch o' mangy gnome-kissin' scallawags!"
Next he throws a glare in the pig's direction. "Me hope yer dance card not full, ye bung-faced, curly-tailed swine! You an' the Cap'n gonna dance later...an' not in good way."
Turning back to Mags, the pirate decides to pitch some serious woo.
"Even covered with mud and pig poop, you prettier den da lady goblins o' me old tribe. Me ever sing you dat song? Well...."
"Dark Hook gals ain't got no combs
Howl away, howl away
Dey brush dere hair—an’ teeth—with codfish bones
An’ we're bound away for Sargava
So heave away, me bully, gobbo boys
Howl away, howl away
Heave her up an’ make a lotta noise
An’ we're bound away for Sargava
Dark Hook gals ain't got no sleds
Howl away, howl away
Dey slide down bluffs—an’ off cliffs—on codfish heads
An’ we're bound away for Sargava
So heave away, me bully, gobbo boys
Howl away, howl away
Heave her up an’ make a lotta noise
An’ we're bound away for Sargava
Dark Hook gals ain't got no frills
Howl away, howl away
Dey tie dere nose hair with codfish gills
An’ we're bound away for Sargava
So heave away, me bully, gobbo boys
Howl away, howl away
Heave her up an’ make a lotta noise
An’ we're bound away for Sargava
Dark Hook gals ain’t ‘fraid o’ sins
Howl away, howl away
Got more vices den a cod got fins
An’ we're bound away for Sargava
So heave away, me bully, gobbo boys
Howl away, howl away
Heave her up an’ make a lotta noise
An’ we're bound away for Sargava
But Dark Hook gals ain't got no tails
Howl away, howl away
Dey’re rough an’ flat like da codfish scales
An’ we're bound away for Sargava
So heave away, me bully, gobbo boys
Howl away, howl away
Heave her up an’ make a lotta noise
An’ we're bound away for Sargava
Dark Hook gals, how dey make me sigh
Howl away, howl away
Da scars, warts, teeth, an’ googly codfish eyes!
An’ we're bound away for Sargava
So heave away, me bully, gobbo boys
Howl away, howl away
Heave her up an’ make a lotta noise
An’ we're bound away for Sargava."
As a rusty longshanks dagger gives Offenclopf a new ear piercing he realises he's going to need both hands to pull this off. Looking down at the slime covering him he shoves the last two slugs into his mouth and starts chewing furiously...
Swallowing the discusting creatures down, he carefully makes his way from the rusting contraption. As he escapes a cacophonous belch slips from his mouth.
Mags gets up out of the mud, her face plastered with it, and makes two very rude hand signs at the assembled goblins. "Mags NEVER take off hat! See if Mighty Hero Mags come save you next time you anger swamp beasty!"
She turns to Squealy Nord and pets his snout. "You beat Mags fair and square. You better dancer for now, but Mags be back! Mags practice and win next time!"
Mags listens to Dogbeard's song in awe. "Mags have no idea what that song is about, but Mags like! Cap'n Dogbeard alright with Mags. You now captain of 'Super Licktoad Hero Squad,' with Mags as Head Captain! Mags come up with team name before party. Mags proud of it."
Drubbus staggers into view. "Can I goes on Squealy too?"
Regardless of the answer, he attempts to ride the pig.
He fails to ride the pig, and flies off, landing right in the mud. He gets up, spluttering.
"Stoopid Squealy! You is not nice!" He says, spitting a glob of fire in front of the pig. The fire flashes as he attempts to get his revenge.
@Ghir, Offenclopf: The bull slugs are massive, writhing creatures the size of goblin heads. It tastes vaguely of rotten fish and bursts with a squeal — at which point the contents of its acrid slime bladder floods down your throat. Looking down at the basket, you see four more wriggling shapes. This is nothing like the sluggers with crunchy toppying that you ate before!
Blech! What this?! Need something to wash down!"
Ghir rummages around in the few belongings on his body and guzzles the first liquid he finds: a bottle of Stillgut.
Much better, but...
"This no Yummy Slugger, this is smelly slugger!"
Ghir screeches angrily at the unfortunate Goblin that suggested the dare. Ghir's eyes turn red, about to sink his teeth into some delicious Goblin-flesh, but then he remembered chief Gutwad's decree: "You eat what you want, but no eatin' other Licktoads!"
But he was still hungry...
He lurches towards the Bull-Slugs, and...
On the first bite he devours two simultaneously, cramming their enormous forms into his even more enormous head!
The Fourth doesn't go down so easy, though. Ghir tries to swallow the creature prematurely, before the last two had fully gone down his gullet, and gags it back out onto the ground.
Not to be deterred, though, Ghir picks the creature back up, takes a deep breath, and chomps down on the thing, shaking it like a chew-toy before tossing it up in the air and tearing it to bits.
Finally, Ghir devours the final slug with reckless abandon, as his belly bulges from the sheer amount of slimy, fishy flesh he just consumed. He unleashes an enormous satisfied belch into the air, almost visible in its intensity.
@Dogbeard, Drubbus, Mags: Squealy Nord is enamored with the lights, but the other goblins are drifting away. This could be a good time to just enjoy the party.
@Ghir, Offenclopf: Both of you finish your slugs at roughly the same time, and the goblins are amazed. Slorb eyes the empty bottle on the floor with suspicion as he hands each of you a fashionable dogslicer — Gorge and Glutton, from Chief Gutwad's personal armory. He reminds both of you that the prizes are on loan until you return.
However, the acrid slime from the bull slugs' bladders might be strong enough to upset even a goblin stomach...
Sara picks up her gun and attempts to pistol whip the nearby goblin that dared to call her Rotluga!
"You no worth wasting powder!"
Then, without asking she too attempts to ride Squealy.